Trapped
by BullardCR
Summary: Can hope overpower decay?
1. Chapter I: Technical Difficulties

I do not own the rights to Neon Genesis Evangelion, or any of the characters, equipment, or locations written in this fanfiction. The purpose of this fanfiction is merely for the non-profit enjoyment of other readers. If requested by Gainax, Hideki Anno, or other parties which represent aforementioned objects in this story, I will remove it promptly.

**Preface:**

This kind of story seems to be very popular. You know, the self insert where the obsessed oktaku guy ends up in the Eva world as a female pilot, having to deal with learning Japanese, the difficulties of the opposite gender, and somehow trying to stay alive through the Angel War. I've seen at least two takes on this style. One I've been reading so far does this really well, and inspired this take on the concept. The other, however, is a little too whiny, too soft and emotional for my kind of taste. Also, the latter was started at least a year ago, and still hasn't been completed.

In both of those stories, however, the author writes as how he would deal with the problem, all written in past-tense. But what if we take that past-tense to a further extent, writing the story from the point of view of a person reflecting on their adventure?

**Chapter I:**

I can't remember anything specific about how it all started. Perhaps it was like those dreams you experience in vast details, down to the very shade and smell of smokeless powder, and then you forget them the minute you wake up. All I can deduce is that it happened sometime while I was in my sleep. The mechanism is still foreign to me, and even if I experienced some key symptoms, I can't recall them now.

The one thing I do remember, though, is the splitting headache, high fever, and waking up on the steel grating of the cold, dark structure I would later know as Cage Seven. The air was cold and crisp, but lacked the typical scent of the winter air. Instead, the air had that peculiar scent left behind of passing through the vanes of a condenser.

That was the first hint something was wrong. While I was still groggy from sleep, I'm always alert to my surroundings, regardless of how horrible I feel. The next hint something was wrong involved a lack of clothing, and the steel grating of the catwalk digging into my left side. I've never slept in less than sweat pants and a t-shirt, and the fact I seemed to be in a cold industrial structure ruled out the possibility of sleep walking. The town my university is located in is a good 20 to 30 miles from anything bigger than a Wal-Mart. The campus population more than triples the locals' in town. No, I had definitely not walked to any nearby industrial structure, especially in my sleep during the winter.

The third, and most disturbing aspect I observed was the fact certain parts were missing, and others were present I wasn't supposed to have. The last time I checked, I was male, in my early twenties, and a natural blonde of European descent. While I was trying to exercise to improve my upper body strength, I didn't want my chest to grow in that particular fashion. Though I had to admit, at least I wasn't as "big" as some girls I knew through high school, so back pain wouldn't be a problem. I did my best to lie in a fetal position, hiding as much as possible, as well as keep this new form warm. The air conditioning was definitely doing it's job.

I discovered later I at least kept my haunting green eyes. They're the kind that remind you of Clint Eastwood. Sometimes they look gray, other times blue, and sometimes even take on a shade of dark hazel. They worked great for intimidating various people in authoritative positions, but much to my disappointment, in this new female form, all they did was bring more stares and drooling idiots coming my way.

I found those eyes of mine rather useful when I encountered the fourth and final factor which led me to realize something was _very_ wrong. I heard some indistinct shouting, though I had watched enough subtitled anime to realize it was in Japanese, even if I couldn't make out any of the words. I guess I was at a disadvantage. Unlike most anime fans, I never did get into it that much. My interest in Evangelion was equivalent, dare I say, to my interest in SeaQuest DSV or modern radio shows.

The voice rose in amplitude, and I suddenly felt the jab of a small cylindrical object against me. I saw the shadow cast on the grating, and immediately identified it as a soldier with an AR-15 type rifle. My eyes, of course, were open this entire time, but just a crack to let me see. I was playing opossum at this point. Honestly, lying naked in what appeared to be a giant military installation with a guard shouting at me, jabbing me with his rifle, and me of all people in the wrong body, I couldn't think of anything better to do. I doubt anyone reading this would tell me to do something differently.

I felt an increasing number of reverberations in the steel catwalk, meaning more people were coming. The number of voices increased, all shouting at once. There was nothing left for me to do, and when one of the soldiers jabbed me in the back again with his rifle, I stirred, faking that I had just awoken. As soon as they thought I heard their voices, I raised my hands above my shoulders, parallel to the floor in a typical surrender posture, then spoke slowly and clearly in English. "Relax," I said. "I'm a United States citizen. I do not know where I am. Does anyone speak English?"

Of course, I had been thinking up that response since I had awoken, far longer than when the first soldier found me. It wasn't a phrase that came naturally, but had to be thought up. At least they knew why I spoke only English, that I didn't mean any harm, and they needed to get a translator as soon as possible. Though I doubt they believed me, as I later found out I was in a female Japanese body aged approximately 14 years.

The guards certainly didn't act like they wanted to believe me. The minute I raised my hands above my head, my body still lying limp in a fetal position, two men jerked me to my feet, bending my arms forcefully behind my head. I suppose it wasn't that serious of a mistake, but I grunted from the pain silently, more like one would expect a man to. Thankfully the guards escorting me down the catwalk didn't notice.

"Can I at least get some clothes first?" I asked. I was more angry than embarrassed. Granted, they didn't know I was a risk to whatever classified stuff they were doing, but I hardly saw anything, and it should at least be expected someone found in such a state as mine would be given the courtesy of clothing before being arrested. It wasn't until we reached a t-junction on the catwalk that a short-haired brunette woman stepped forward. She was dressed in a tan uniform jacket, and held out a wool fire blanket for me. I couldn't place the face properly, but the minute I saw the uniform, and looked at the face once again.

While I thought it, I knew immediately that I should keep my mouth shut, at least for now. The faces definitely looked different compared to the over-stylized renditions in the anime, but compared to what I'd expect from well-done cosplay outfits, the uniforms were a perfect match. Immediately I considered how I was going to explain this situation, especially seeing as I knew _precisely _who I wanted to talk to about it. However, if I mentioned a Major Misato Katsuragi, especially the day before her promotion, I'd be screwed.

The cover I had been working on during the escort down the catwalk went something like this: I was a Japanese-American girl who somehow ended up targeted by slave traders, and most likely drugged with GHB or some other amnesia-inducing date rape drug. How I ended up here could be chocked up to some shady characters involved in the U.N. pulling their typical criminal activities, and any inquiry would take so long to go through all the proper channels, I'd be long gone before any evidence for or against my claim could be found.

However, I hadn't counted on ending up in the Evangelion dimension. It was just a television series! It wasn't supposed to be real. Even if there were various alternate realities that mimicked fictional stories, why couldn't I have ended up in the world of Knight Rider? A talking '82 Pontiac Trans-Am and his driver fighting crime would be far more believable than trying to defend myself against both Angels and corrupt organizations all planning to turn mankind into a puddle of goo.

I couldn't make out what Lieutenant Ibuki was saying, but I guessed from the excited shouts from both her and the soldiers, it involved her disgust at escorting my nude form through the cage for everyone to see. Briskly, she wrapped the fire blanket around me, my arms still held behind my head. She gave me a reassuring smile, and said something in Japanese. "I do not speak Japanese," I replied. "I can only speak English." I guessed she wasn't too comfortable with my native language, as I wasn't comfortable with hers. I thought for a minute of the chances she knew at least some Spanish, which I could possibly piece together after taking three years in high school. But that wouldn't be likely.

Though I didn't have to worry much, because she appeared to know at least some English. "Who... are you?" Maya asked. This, however, brought up a whole new batch of problems. I surely couldn't use my real name. I thought that very moment how I was either 32 years old and having at least some form of permanent employment, or I had died at 16 in the Second Impact. Either way, my real name wasn't going to work, at least not just yet. "I... do not know," I answered, trying to limit my use of complex words and contractions.

Ibuki stared back at me, either in confusion, pity, or disbelief. I must explain at this point I've never been able to read human body language or facial expressions. Perhaps it's the result of limited social interaction, but as I explained to some friends of mine, I can about as much emotional content staring at a human's face as I can staring at a tree or a rock. This would prove a great disadvantage, but there were other thoughts which took priority.

The minute I realized where I was, and who I was talking to at this point, I knew immediately who I _should_ be talking to. But like I said, I couldn't use names or titles without bringing up suspicion. If that happened, I wouldn't end up talking to Misato, but rather Commander Ikari, and who the hell knows what he'd do with me. I wouldn't put it past him to defile this new body just before he put a bullet in my new head. Then it came to me how to resolve the problem. "Can I speak to someone in charge of operations?" To help reinforce the idea, I then added, "Or can I speak to your boss", all with appropriate hand gestures.

Ibuki nodded, and looked up to some tinted windows of what appeared to be a control room for confirmation. I couldn't make out the faces behind the glass, mainly due to the glare of the fluorescent lights overhead, but there was some kind of movement, followed by someone speaking on the public address system. It was definitely a feminine voice, but out of all the personnel who could have been working different shifts, as well as the portions of NERV's organizational structure not covered in the series, I had no idea who it could be. As it was, she was not known to me until later on the following day.

•••••••••••••

Not having watched the series in a long time, the corridors and offices were new to me, though based on what I had seen so far of the people and equipment, anyone who had seen the series or read the manga would never have realized where they were until some obvious NERV insignia, personnel in uniforms, or even an Eva showed up. I mentioned before I had ended up in Cage Seven, the typical resting place for Unit-01 in it's cryogenic stasis. I don't know how I managed it, but not once did I see any of the Eva units during my escort to the awaiting cell.

Maya, to my gratitude, protested against this, but she did not have the authority to make my stay more pleasant. Honestly, I can't blame them, as the appearance of someone in the middle of a highly classified facility would usually result in death. Just on a field trip during high school to the local Air Force Base, we were made perfectly aware crossing the red line on the tarmac during our guided tour would mean the snipers would have a field day. But you'd expect better treatment with my bizarre arrival.

At least nothing had happened to me now, and the brunette lieutenant was kind enough to stay by my side. "Do not worry," she said over and over, the words coming very slowly at first, but with greater speed as she developed more comfort with the language. The cell was as I expected, though not as dark. I sat down on the wall-mounted folding cot, leaning forward, still wrapped in the wool fire blanket Ibuki had given me. It wasn't until this time I really knew it was Maya, as she introduced herself, simply pointing at her face, and saying "Maya." From the first time we met in the cage, she just seemed to be the most likely candidate for Maya Ibuki. Then she nodded towards me.

"I do not know," I replied. "It is... very... hard to explain." I wanted to say "difficult," but I didn't know how much Maya remembered, and with everything that was going on, I was too upset to think. Why I hadn't thought of it before, I'll never know, but I realized now would be the perfect time to ask some questions. Granted I knew where I was generally, but to keep with my story, I'd have to play the part. "Where am I?" Maya clearly didn't know how to say "classified", but settled for the next best thing. "That is... secret," she managed after a few moments. I nodded in understanding. "Military base?" I asked. When she looked in confusion, I pretended to salute, hold and fire a rifle, getting a nod in agreement. "Okay," I said.

Maya Ibuki, for those wondering, and more for her own defense, was not precisely the same character one sees in the series. Rather, the best way to describe her is the big sister or young aunt in her early twenties who still wants to be more of the pal who'd sneak you into a bar rather than be all motherly. She wasn't as shy as in the series, either. There is some of the typical college graduate chick in her, but mostly she seemed more like the studious professional, just doing her bit in the military to cover college expenses. I knew at least one girl like that once, but she had gotten out of the ROTC after a couple weeks, due to moral conflict. I think that's the best way to sum Ibuki up.

"How you not know... who you are?" she asked. I had to admit, she was getting far better at English, and much faster than I would ever learn her language. That thougth made me feel a tad guilty. I'd never be able to truly repay her, but as I later discovered, I think I managed to at least cover the difference. But back to the problem at hand, I was starting to run out of ways to dodge the questions. Section Two would most likely have interrogators far more intimidating and effective than a woman who would stick by me and offer comfort.

Suddenly, almost out of nowhere, I thought back to the The Terminator, with Michael Biehn. "What year is it?" I asked. Maya blinked, stunned at the question. Obviously she knew what I had asked, but was curious as to why I would ask such a thing. "To me," I said slowly, "it is 2006 A.D." Ibuki's face paled. Then came another thought. "I do not know where I am." Okay, it wasn't the truth, but back to The Terminator example.

If, in the film, Michael Biehn's character of Kyle Reese simply cooperated with the police, and said "Hey, there's some psycho professional foreign assassin out there trying to kill this lady, and he's built like a rock, very hard to kill," he'd be far more credible and less likely to be held as a suspect. Rather, he says, "Hey, this guy is really a robot in disguise trying to kill the mother of the future resistance leader." I, however, would not make that mistake. Well, at least I wouldn't mention it to Maya just yet.

Ibuki, who had been standing by my side in the cell at this point, sat beside me, and wrapped her arms tightly around me. There was some discomfort, and I thanked the wonders of probability that I had originally been born male. At least I was still thinking as my old self, the lack of testosterone and high quantities of estrogen having little effect on my hard-coded responses of aggression and cold, calculating ruthlessness. Those would be important traits later on, as I would be facing off against Gendo Ikari. Granted, I could easily avoid conflict with him, and simply follow my self-interest to live comfortably until the Third Impact came. Of course, the series was set in stone in my world, but here, the timeline could do anything. Shinji, my thoughts finally turning to him, could easily crumple under the strain, and Gendo could kill Rei, forcing her to fuse with Lillith. There were many possibilities.

But now they had a nutcase who had been handling guns since age 8, using assault rifles since 16, and been studying everything from U.S. Government manuals on improvised demolitions to wilderness survival manuals in their world. If I didn't succeed, I'd at least have some fun talking to Kensuke, if I ever met him. Though I'd have to remind him to treat me more like one of the guys rather than a set of nice goods, though I'd think more along the latter if I were in his shoes.

I had a general idea of my goals, given the nature of this alternate reality. First was to acquire the basics for survival, meaning a source of steady income to pay for housing, food, and clothing. Next would be a little more tricky, though, and would mean making the right connections with the black market. I wasn't going to run around Tokyo-3 with NERV on my tail without at least an Ithaca Model 37 12 gauge pump with removed disconnector, fed with tungsten-bismuth based double-ought buckshot 2 3/4 inch shells.

As I said, I'm a survivalist nut.

But back to Maya, she had just sat beside me, wrapping her arms tightly around me. "I am... sorry," she said. I guess that's all she could think of at the time. I was considering if I should tell her the reason for my discomfort, especially when she noticed how I was flincing, trying to draw away. There was no other choice. "One more problem," I said. "Until today, I _was_ a man."

Maya never really did appreciate how well I was taking this scenario until I had told her everything, but at this point, she was getting a good idea everything I had ever known had been royally screwed over. "You... cannot be real," she said, but I think her real meaning was "you can't be serious." Slowly, however, the thought dawned on her I wasn't lying.

"I am telling the truth," I said.

Later that evening, when I found the room had a hidden CCD camera mounted high in the corner of the ceiling, just left of the barred door, I would regret everything I said to Maya.

End of Chapter I

•••••••••••••

Okay, first time I've ever written author's notes to any of my work. Yes, it's another one of these perverted self-insert stories, but I'll avoid as much of the perverted nonsense as possible. If anyone reading this knows who I am, the facts I give about myself are true, including being a gun nut. So, you can expect:

•Excessive aggression and testosterone-driven violence

•More "cloak and dagger" games with Gendo Ikari, NERV, and myself

•More analysis of the logistics of the Eva series

•The unusual case of the female self-insert character being a sexist male pig (yes, this will make interaction at the junior high school rather interesting).

•••••••••••••


	2. Chapter II: Meeting the Cast, Part I

I do not own the rights to Neon Genesis Evangelion, or any of the characters, equipment, or locations written in this fanfiction. The purpose of this fanfiction is merely for the non-profit enjoyment of other readers. If requested by Gainax, Hideki Anno, or other parties which represent aforementioned objects in this story, I will remove it promptly.

**Chapter II:**

I was so tired. No one bothered to tell me what time it was, and even if they did, I had that language barrier to get over. However, I guessed it had been a little over six hours since I had arrived, and to my knowledge, this new body hadn't eaten since then. There have been days before when I had gone twelve hours without food or rest, walking for miles on end. I could function well like that. Running was another matter entirely, but for the most part, if it was a slow, deliberate pace, I could go forever.

That was, of course, if I were outdoors, properly dressed, and not under stress. Exhausted, I laid down on the cot, my head facing the bars of the cell door, and the fire blanket wrapped tightly around me. It was more about the cold than shame that I hid myself. It was an odd feeling, but I didn't really perceive much shame. To me, this wasn't my real body. There was nothing really solid to connect me with it. I was still used to being a lanky, scrawny but tone nerd.

The best way to describe what I looked like before this event, and what I look like now, is a five-foot ten inch tall, skin and bones nerd, but with just enough muscle to define the features preferred in a man. I had never exercised before until college, so I lacked a lot of the endurance and strength I should have had. Thinking back to the fun I had at the campus rec center, seeing how fast I could run a mile on the treadmill, or how much I could bench press, I promised myself I would not let this body go to waste. Whether the junior high school had a weight room, I didn't know, and I highly doubted the girls of Class 2-A did much weight training.

Of course, rules were meant to be broken, and I was crazy enough to do it.

I must have fallen asleep at one point, because one moment I was staring at the wall across from the cot, and the next, I was staring at the ceiling, with a blonde woman in a white labcoat standing overhead. "I am Doctor Akagi," she said, her voice clear, though it had that peculiar hint of a Japanese accent to it. Regardless of how fluent someone is in a foreign language, you can tell from the sound of their voice they aren't used to the pronunciation, even though every human is physically capable of making all the sounds present in the world's dialects.

Doctor Akagi stared down at me, my eyes bloodshot and glazed. "Are you... drugged?" she asked, slightly confused. "Why?" I asked. She pointed to her eyes. "Your eyes are red." It took a moment or two for the idea to click, but then I immediately shook my head. "My eyes just do that after sleep," I explained. "Well, my old eyes did that. I don't even know what I look like."

Ritsuko stared, then backed away, gesturing that I should stand up and follow her. The cell door's lock clicked momentarily, and the noisy assembly groaned as it slid on the rusty bearings. Too tired to protest, I forced myself to sit up, pulled the blanket tighter around my form, and stumbled out of the cell. If the doctor had thought I was stoned or plastered before, my actions only confirmed her suspicions. Conveniently for me, the basic check-up she was about to administer consisted of a sobriety test, which I passed easily. "Told you," I muttered in my harsh, gravelly voice. "I'm tired, not drunk."

The small examination room was the typical layout of the padded examination table, disposable paper sheets covering the surface, and the various instruments, colorful charts of human anatomy, as well as some placards of the practicing physician's credentials. Somehow, the fact Ritsuko Akagi knew what she was doing when it came to medical examinations did not comfort me. Perhaps it was the fact she was working for the interests of Seele, and the psychotic nutjob running First Branch. If anything, history has shown medical doctors working for ruthless dictatorships do more harm than good.

I at least was happy with the results. "Everything looks in order," the woman commented. "Healthy blood pressure, a slightly high resting heart rate, but nothing unusual, and your reflexes look in shape." Then came the annoying and unsettling clipboard of notes, Ritsuko scribbling in illegible characters. "You mentioned some rather... disturbing things to one Lieutenant Ibuki," she continued in English. She sighed, and sat down on a wheeled stool, setting the clipboard in her lap, while I had by now changed into a disposable examination gown, and sat on the table. "We don't have any way to confirm your story."

Now this was untrue, and if I was going to blow my cover, I was at least going to make the director of Project-E look like a completely incompetent bimbo in the process. "Yes, you do have a way," I said. "I don't know who I am here, but I know who I am supposed to be, where I'm supposed to live, and what I'm supposed to have done up to now. If I give you the facts of my prior existence, can you cross-reference my testimony to public records in the United States?"

"That won't prove anything!" she grumbled in a patronizing tone.

"Well, humor me for a moment," I said. "Here's what you do. Give me an oral history test, completely open-ended summary on the major events I recall over the last fifteen to twenty years. If I can recall in detail certain events in America which occurred far before what my birthdate in this reality should be, as well as give you a slew of events that didn't happen, you have your answer." I paused, thinking how I could avoid the obvious "you're just making stuff up," argument. "And while you're at it, drug me with a truth serum, and rig me up to a lie detector if you have to. We want to make sure I'm not screwing around."

Ritsuko raised an eyebrow in typical Spock fashion, then glared at me like some kind of criminal. "Fine," she answered, almost on the verge of anger. "We'll arrange your little test, but we determine the questions."

"Of course," I added. "We want a fair and controlled environment for our little experiment. Though you might want to throw in a control into the group, just to make sure the results are legitimate." I thought for a second. "And by the way, can we do a standardized IQ test as well? I want to make sure I'm firing on all cylinders upstairs."

There must be a love language specifically for the nerds and socially deprived scientists of the world, because I watched helplessly as Ritsuko smiled a broad, almost seductive smile. "Sounds... very rational," she added.

This was not how things were supposed to happen! Ever since I had watched Evangelion, I had judged each character without remorse. Gendo, Ritsuko, Fuyutsuki, even Yui and Misato, were all evil. They were the ones who took the rights and liberties away from Shinji, Asuka, and Rei, the characters with the most potential for good. One could argue that Fuyutsuki and Yui were pawns, but I don't believe so. Yui knew she would hurt Shinji, and force him into piloting the Eva by getting absorbed into it. The whole self-sacrifice for the weak is a major aspect of most anime, and the prime reason I don't get into it as much as others. As for Fuyutsuki, he gave up his freedom and his righteousness out of fear.

Hikari, Toji, Kensuke, Maya, Aoba, and Makoto were in-between, but I considered them more potential threats than allies. Those characters all had their own beliefs separate of Gendo or his lackeys, but they just shrugged everything off. As emotional as Shinji and Asuka were portrayed, that's understandable in a world surrounded by death and war. Yet Hikari, Toji, and Kensuke react as though people getting murdered left and right, and the omnipotent rulers of Seele pushing everyone around like mindless cattle should just be tolerated. Later on when I met them in person, they confirmed these beliefs, and I tell you now I had no guilt settling Hikari's and my differences in the parking lot after class.

I'll never understand what it is with girls. For the most part, those I encountered in the world of Evangelion all could care less about politics or the ethics of NERV. But they had no problem comparing their physical features, or bitching about why guys aren't smart enough to understand them. I suppose that was yet another goal I set forth when I realized the entirety of my situation. I would have to be the one to clean up the intellectual train wreck of submissive, post-Impact thinking.

•••••••••••••

I was finally informed by Ritsuko I had spent a full day and a half in this place, but she had not yet informed me where I was, not that I needed to know. She also neglected to mention why the electro-encephalogram and blood tests were necessary. Though as I found out later, she took the liberty of checking my compatibility with Eva. Of course I knew this would probably happen, especially if this woman was the same who helped manipulate Shinji into piloting.

Then again, I was feeling rather conflicted. She seemed nice enough on the surface, especially when I started talking her language of physics, math, and the scientific method. We also seemed to get along well once she realized I was telling the truth. I suppose the idea of talking to a possible Angel or more domestic risk to organizational security has the habit of making each party keep their guard up. But that was just a matter of time.

"Your answers were... quite interesting," she said, closing the door to the examination room we had been in before. My mobility at this point was restricted to just a few offices, but they at least didn't put me back in the brig. "A terror attack, as you put it, on New York City, a 'War on Terror', and U.N. scandals. That's definitely nothing compared to our... world."

"So you admit there could be some truth to the alternate dimension bit?" I asked. "I have to say, even if I did believe it, the idea I'd end up here didn't seem that likely."

"I admit _nothing_ without absolute proof!" she argued.

"Well, you won't get _absolute_ proof!" I exclaimed. "There will always be doubt, because we can't observe the world outside of it. We can observe closed systems just fine, but not if you're part of the system. If this whole alternate dimension or world thing is true, that also throws a wrench in the works, because we're dealing with at least a larger closed system than we originally believed, if not an open system."

Akagi's jaw hung open. That was the second time I had caused that particular reaction, the first being the time I admitted under heavy drugging during the interrogation that I was a man. This, of course, was the woman who scratched out the proofs behind the whole Sea of Dirac theory during the Twelfth Angel attack, but those are all theories. They may be based on mathematical proofs and logic, but those require assumptions which could be wrong.

"At least tell me gas prices are relatively cheap, and I can still get my hands on a car with an internal combustion engine," I begged. "I can't live without the smell of hydrocarbons, and at least two hundred horsepower." Ritsuko groaned as she sat back down into the padded stool, shaking her head. "You are definitely not a girl," she sighed. "And your tests all prove you're telling us the truth, but you haven't told us yet who you're supposed to be."

"Can I see that clipboard, and a pen?" I asked. The doctor nodded. Taking the writing implement and the clipboard, I scribbled down a series of numbers, dates, and events. "Okay, this is who I am, where I lived as of 2000 A.D," I said. "If this Second Impact you're talking about is the only diverging factor between our worlds, this should be a good starting point to figure out where this world's version of me is, and where I fit into the picture."

"What are these other numbers?" Ritsuko asked, staring down at the paper.

"That's the license plate number, make, model, year, and approximate mileage of the car I bought back in 2000," I replied. "Just another bit of proof I am who I say I am, but also..."

"What?" Ritsuko glared.

"It's another way to track me down," I added.

•••••••••••••

I'm an Ayn Rand Objectivist, and hard-core Reaganite conservative. Everything to me is about the freedom to do what you want, and spending your money however you wish, but paying for the consequences of your actions without the help of others. I guess that's why Misato and I seemed to clash the minute I met her. She was the complete opposite of that, drinking away all of the consequences of her actions, or blaming others. Of all the characters, no... people, I had met during my time there, she was the closest to her anime portrayal.

It had been an hour wait at least, and when the door to the examination room finally opened, Major Misato Katsuragi was irritable, exhausted, and eyes red-rimmed. Her infamous black mini-dress was also wrinkled and stained slightly with droplets of water, which I presumed were tears. Ritsuko immediately stood up, and nodded towards Misato. "Major Misato Katsuragi, I would like to introduce you to... the Mystery from Cage Seven."

Misato gave me an aggressive, stern look, then extended her hand. However, this action was only temporary. The minute I reached out to take her hand, she withdrew it. "I see..." I replied. Somehow, that was not the phrase the major wanted to hear, as she proceeded to grab me by the shoudlers, pulling me close so as to prevent me from avoiding her eyes. "Let's quit the games, shall we?" she snarled. "Ritsuko knows just as well as I do that you're not telling us everything. You've squandered enough of our resources. I suggest you make this as painless as possible."

"Don't-" I started to say, but quickly cut myself off. The last thing I should do is get mad. I shuddered, watching Misato draw back in rage. "What did you say?" she hissed. Her fingers dug into my shoulders. It was about now I started to realize, regardless of my judgments of the characters beforehand, Ritsuko and Maya were probably the best friends I had at that point. Akagi jumped to my side, trying to pull the major from me. There was some shouting in Japanese on Misato's part, but Ritsuko, I must complement her for this, continued to speak in English so I could understand.

"She... I mean _he_ has done _nothing_ wrong!" the doctor yelped. "He's cooperated, and shown no hostility. You can't do this!" Misato continued her shouting in Japanese, just as Akagi wrapped her hands around the major's wrists, trying to pry them away from my shoulders. I saw now that while Ritsuko had the greater intellect, Misato had the greater brute strength. Her arms broke Akagi's hold, and proceeded to my throat. I could feel the fingers tighten around my jugular, restricting the air to my lungs. I stared back wide in fear, sweat building on my brow as the purple-haired demon unleashed her anger.

I suppose it was inevitable, my temper catching up with me. I had every right to defend myself, though sometimes I think back, and wonder if I should have gone as far as I did that day. Obviously, I deduced in those few seconds, if Misato were carrying, the Jericho 941 chambered in nine millimeter would be in a left-sided shoulder holster for right-hand draw. I must mention now that I am not familiar with semiautomatic pistols, except for a few simple blowback action twenty-twos. However, I presumed Misato would have already racked the slide, and simply kept the safety engaged until she needed to use it. Also, if she had any sense, she would have fifteen rounds in the magazine, plus an extra in the chamber.

She was rather surprised when she felt the tug on the shoulder holster rig, and I remember her eyes growing wide at the realization of what I was about to do. Her hands gripped tighter as I brought the hammer back to full cock, wrapped my hand firmly around the grip, and took up the first stage of the trigger. "Don't push me!" I hissed.

"Don't!" Ritsuko screamed. Immediately two armed guards burst down the door of the examination room, their M4 carbines aimed directly at me. Of course, to be aimed that way, they had to shoot through both Misato and Ritsuko. There was more shouting by Doctor Akagi, now in Japanese. The soldiers paused, their arms and rifles quaking slightly. "This... THING came from Unit-01!" Misato churned out through clenched teeth. "_It_ came back... but not my Shinji!" I have no idea why she chose to speak in English, perhaps just to humor me while she tried to end my life, but I now knew precisely where I was in the timeline.

"This isn't the time, Misato!" Ritsuko huffed, trying to pull her away. Things were starting to make more sense, now. The crying Misato had done, and her aggression towards me, as well as the mechanism for my arrival. I didn't know for sure if Shinji would return, but to be absolutely sure, I had to take a risk. Easing the hammer down, and letting the pistol slide back into the holster under Misato's jacket, I held up my hands. "We need to talk," I coughed out.

"Misato, for God's sake!" Ritsuko gasped. Katsuragi let her hands ease slightly, though probably more out of the realization I needed air to speak. I sputtered and hacked for a few seconds before I could say anything. "But they can't hear what I am going to say." I gestured towards the guards. "This is important, and it concerns the Third Child."

Misato glared as Ritsuko's eyes widened in shock. "I KNEW he was hiding something!" she cursed. "You'll tell me now!" Akagi, however, waved off the guards. There was some more Japanese spoken, but in a calm, authoritative tone, and the soldiers departed. However, the door to the room was broken, lying on the floor. "Major, release him, that's an order!" Ritsuko's voice boomed.

Misato hissed, then let her hands trail from my neck down to my shoulders. Again I gasped for breath. This was definitely not my day. Ritsuko, my sworn adversary, was the one on my side, and Misato, the person I was going to confide in, was the one trying to kill me! "This has to be kept secret from everyone else, _including_ Commander Ikari." The reactions of the women had started to lessen, probably due to the fact they were beyond any further surprises. How I knew about the commander was another unusual problem they couldn't wrap their heads around, but that would be an issue to resolve later.

"How many days has it been since Shinji was... absorbed?" I asked. Ritsuko hesitated at first, especially since I was almost ready to kill the operations director, though with good reason. I raised my hands again slowly to shoulder height. "It is important," I said. "Almost eighteen days," the doctor answered. I nodded. "Okay, we still have time. Shinji isn't due out for another twelve days, when you make your salvaging attempt." Now I was really peaking both women's interests. "Before you ask," I said, watching Ritsuko begin to speak, "I need to know you will not inform Commander Ikari about this."

"Why shouldn't we tell him?" Katsuragi huffed. I ignored my presumed savior, and turned to the woman who had been treating me rather fairly so far. "Doctor Akagi, I know all about your mother, the Magi, Rei, your and Commander Ikari's 'relationship', the pilots, everything. I also know about the Human Completion Project, and how both Seele and Ikari could destroy mankind. You have no reason to suspect I'm lying, and I'm telling you, if you let him know, his knowledge of future events beyond what the Scrolls indicate could seriously jeopardize the timeline."

Ritsuko shuddered, backing away. "You... you can't know about that!" she cried. I suspect, of course, she was referring to the relationship with Gendo than anything else I had spouted. She may have been a scientist, but she was human, and wanted to hide her flaws. Misato, at this point, started shouting in Japanese, confronting Ritsuko for a moment, then turned back to me. Before she opened her mouth, I shut her up for good. "And I know about your father, Second Impact, S2 theory, and all the wild escapades you've had with Kaji up to this point. That scar is rather serious, you know? I'm surprised you could crawl out of the escape pod to see hell on Earth as you did with that wound."

Neither woman said a word. Finally, Ritsuko drew her cell phone from her right labcoat pocket, and pressed a speed dial button. I couldn't recognize much of what was said, but the name "Maya" was easy enough to pick out.

End of Chapter II

•••••••••••••

Nothing really to say at this point. There has been at least one review that mentions my understanding of the patrols done at air force bases was wrong. That was what I was told at the time by the officer giving the tour, and even if it is false, I'm going on the information I was told.

Another fact mentioned is that the guards in NERV don't use AR-15 type rifles. I'm taking a liberty with that. Anyone connected with the U.S. or other NATO and SEATO allies usually packs the M-16A2 and it's variants. While the M-8 looks like it will be adopted soon by the U.S. military, and NERV could easily use whatever weapons it wanted, the hardware used by NERV is foolish and typical of the creators using stylized weapons rather than practical ones. If I had my way, the military would still be using the M-14.

And yes, no one really likes the constant references to movies and pop-culture, but if anything, this helps reinforce the way the story was written. The whole point is to make this sound more realistic than any other self-insert fanfic. I'm basically doing an Orson Welles' "War of the Worlds" to Evangelion.

Actually, that gives me a rather amusing thought. If anyone is interested, it might be a rather amusing experiment to create a "War of the Worlds"-ish radio show based on Eva. It would basically consist of recording an Angel attack from the perspective of the civilian population, with as much realism as possible.

•••••••••••••


	3. Chapter III: Food and Fun with FMJ

I do not own the rights to Neon Genesis Evangelion, or any of the characters, equipment, or locations written in this fanfiction. The purpose of this fanfiction is merely for the non-profit enjoyment of other readers. If requested by Gainax, Hideki Anno, or other parties which represent aforementioned objects in this story, I will remove it promptly.

**Chapter III:**

Once again I had a chance to speak with Maya Ibuki, who, we were informed, would be my escort for the time being. She entered the examination room, the door taken to maintenance and a white curtain put up in it's stead. I nodded at Maya in acknowledgment, which resulted in a nervous smile from the brunette. I can be cold at times, and it then I realized I should work on that.

It was my parents that mentioned my antisocial nature after my girlfriend and I started dating regularly. "Before, you stalked around like you were going to kill somebody!" my mother said. "You're still mean, but some of the edge has worn off." I hadn't completely lightened up, and it was now, watching all three women in the room standing a safe distance from me while they conversed, that I decided I should try to lighten up. I still don't think Misato ever relaxed after the trouble with her Jericho, but I didn't really care. I wanted respect, not friendship. I saw the kind of friendship she offered Shinji in the series, and that was not my style. If she wanted to get close, she had to learn I didn't like others messing with me.

Maya slowly broke from the trio of women, and walked to my side. "Good afternoon," I said. She simply smiled, and nodded. "I will... escort you for... how you say?" she started, then held up her hands, and flashed the value of twelve in front of me, first by showing all ten digits, then two. Now it made sense. Ibuki was to be watching over me until she was needed for the operation to retrieve Shinji. Until that point, there was really nothing left she could do.

"I understand," I said. "Is there... anything you need me to do?" The brunette paused, completely lost as to my meaning. Sensing the difficulty, Ritsuko reappeared at her side. I waited patiently, knowing the doctor would help serve as translator, at least just this once. "What did you ask?" she said.

"I was curious," I replied, "if there was anything you or Ms. Ibuki needed me to do." Again, my meaning wasn't entirely clear, so I tried to elaborate. "What I mean is... how do I say it? I want to know what you expect of me. I really don't want to be in the way."

Immediately my meaning had become clear, Ritsuko's face beaming with understanding. "That is very considerate of you," she answered. Reaching for the clipboard sitting on the nearby countertop, she removed a small pamphlet. Handing it to me, I examined it slowly in detail. It was a map, the buildings and corridors broken into hexagonal sectors. Some, however, were blacked out or removed. It made sense. I wasn't a part of NERV at this point, nor was there the likelihood I would join after nearly shooting Misato. I was a security risk at best, and more likely, a criminal given the pleasure of a guided tour.

"You know what this is, don't you?" she asked, her smile fading. "Yes," I answered. "It's a map of NERV headquarters, located beneath Tokyo-3 in the GeoFront." I continued to read over the map. "Thanks for translating it to English for me. Otherwise, I'd probably end up lost." The doctor grinned. "It's no problem."

A thought finally struck me. I don't know why I wasn't thinking about it before. Well, I had been considering it before, but I really hadn't bothered to ask until now. "What about... clothing?" I asked. "I would pay for it if I could, but I don't have money, and... I still don't know my... dimensions."

Ritsuko groaned, and glanced over at Ibuki. This was a job for the assistant, I took it. After Ritsuko spoke, Maya hastily replied, blushing brightly, and stuttered some of her words. At least I thought she was stuttering, since I didn't know Japanese, and really I still don't. To this day I just learned a few basic phrases to get me around, and forgot them quite promptly after. Even when I spoke in Japanese, I couldn't read or write it, and relied more heavily on the fact English was the primary language for international business.

Finally, Maya lowered her head, her face a brilliant shade of crimson. Of course, she wasn't the one who had to be embarrassed. I was the one running around in just a hospital gown, getting poked, prodded, and escorted by heavily armed soldiers. "I will... help you with...clothing," Maya said. "Thank you," I said. "I really appreciate it."

•••••••••••••

I suppose I should have seen what was coming the minute the map of the GeoFront was given to me. Obviously my movement and interaction with the civilian population would be restricted. I had yet to know if I would ever reach the surface and experience the amusement of Tokyo-3. But for now, I had to live with the fact I was a liability. I had admitted it myself. Too much knowledge of the future could affect the timeline, especially if I interacted directly with the wrong person.

For now, all my clothing would be purchased on Section Two's account, under the premise of keeping a reliable source happy. Everything would be ordered online, and shipped to Misato's apartment. Since Asuka already lived there, no suspicions would be raised. At one point, I got a laugh using Asuka's name for the shipping address.

Maya stuttered and cringed while having to explain the more personal aspects of being female, as well as measuring certain parts. I guess what embarrassed her the most was the fact I was taking detailed notes. It was a serious matter to me. I had fourteen years worth of experience as a girl to learn in eleven days. Even when I did get some of the more important aspects down, including the social expectations for Post-Impact Japan, I acted more like a gearhead American male. This got me some odd looks, but whether or not I was criticized for not being "girly" enough, no one said a word to me.

Finally we came down to measuring my new body for clothes. I had expected this part. A simple flexible measuring tape, and fifteen minutes later, I had a good idea of where I stood. It was rather awkward, though. A full-size mirror was placed in the examination room while I was left to myself. I knew at one point I had to get an idea of what I looked like, but it still didn't make the experience any better.

"I'm supposed to be American," I grumbled. While I looked rather attractive for my new demographic, it wasn't me. I hate to admit it, but I did actually turn around a couple times to get a complete picture as to what I was dealing with. It didn't occur to me until Ritsuko announced the result of the DNA profile. I should have guessed the donor to half of my genes was the same soul trapped within the Eva I emerged from. But to be a by-product of Yui Ikari, I had to say it was disturbing at the least.

Though I had enough traits to indicate some of my physique had made it into the mix. My eyes were one, the color-changing green irises staring into people with the same poor eyesight I had acquired in my own world. That was one downside, but at least it was something I was familiar with. The brunette hair I decided to cut to shoulder length, and put in a side part, much like my parents insisted I have years ago for my elementary school photos. It didn't look so great when I was a guy, but as a girl, it worked fairly well. Also, it was entirely unique to the other girls and pilots I encountered later on.

I was still rather thin, lacking in body fat much like I was before. Why it was considered "attractive", I didn't understand why. I looked over my shoulder, then back at the mirror. Stretching for a moment, I practiced a few uppercuts, jabs, reverse punches, and strikes in mid air. I felt weaker than before, though none of my joints cracked or groaned, unlike my old body. I considered the free time available, and decided to ask Maya if there was a gym within the complex I could give a try, when she spoke up, startling me. "Are you... done?" Ibuki asked.

"One moment," I answered, slipping into a cloth hospital gown this time. It would give a little more warmth, protection from staring eyes, and held up better until Misato had come back with the clothes we had ordered. "I am done," I called out. Maya immediately came in, her laptop computer in tow. She face was still a slight shade of pink, but I smiled reassuringly. "It's embarrassing for me, too," I said. She must have been practicing her English while I was alone, because she was responding more quickly than before. Nodding, she opened a laptop computer on the counter, powering it up, and established a wireless connection on the local network.

After about fifteen minutes, I had a week's worth of clothing picked out, mostly simple single-colored cheap polo shirts, three pair of jeans, some generic brand sneakers, and the most bland, utilitarian undergarments I could find. I'd never get why either gender wanted to look "cool" or "sexy" in their underwear. Overall, if it was cheap, durable, and could take being washed all in the same laundry load without ironing or other care, it was what I wore. I glanced over at Ibuki, and she just glared at me. "You are buying men's clothing," she said.

"Just the t-shirts and jeans," I replied in my defense. Ibuki sighed, shaking her head. "Girls... we don't wear men's clothing." "Look, I don't _care_," I grumbled irritably, "and I'm still a guy, regardless of _these_!" I gestured towards my chest, making Maya blush. "I'll get it right the next time, but right now, I want something comfortable to get me around." I paused, remembering Maya couldn't understand much English. I was too mad to remember, and at this point, I didn't care. I wasn't going to be criticized for my choices, not even by someone who knew my gender better than me.

Maya cringed slightly, backing away from me. It was after I shut down her laptop, staring into the blank screen that I noticed I was grinding my teeth. "Sorry," I said. Forcing myself to take a long, deep breath, my hands shaking from the built up adrenaline, I clenched my fists tightly. My palms screamed in agony as my fingernails dug into the skin, and I drew just a slight amount of blood before I finally released. "Sorry," I repeated. "This is my decision, and I'm saving NERV money. Do not question me."

Maya stared, confused. "What is... your issue?" I was about to answer, when I remembered the camera from the cell. While I had not left this room long enough for any complex equipment to be installed without my knowledge, Maya herself could have been wearing a wire. Other monitoring devices in portable objects could have been left behind as well. Perhaps I was being observed, the commander or even Misato hoping for this very moment. That's what I was kept alive for, after all. I was here to provide information.

"It is nothing," I answered.

Of course, she didn't believe me, and for what I believed was an hour, she pressured me not just to tell her why I seemed so upset, but to also buy something more feminine. I humored her, but only in the way of clothing. A simple white dress shirt with black knee-height mini-skirt, black pair of conservative pumps, and matching blazer seemed to ease Ibuki's pressure.

I was also concerned about having some decent formal wear for possible business meetings. Between a business etiquette dinner, and my instructor in business writing stressing the need to dress for success, I wasn't going to be a complete slob during my time in Tokyo-3. If I ever did leave the confines of NERV, I had a good idea my enrollment in Class 2-A would be mandatory. If that was the case, I wasn't going to be caught dead in the supplied uniform.

"You are so... difficult," she grumbled.

"Yes, yes I am," I replied.

•••••••••••••

There were eleven days left until we expected Shinji to return. I hadn't told Misato or Ritsuko how he would return, but simply said it would most likely happen in that time. However, the operations director and doctor did not put the project on hold simply because I was presumed correct. As a result, while Maya was excused from all duties except monitoring the Magi and staying on alert status in the event of an Angel attack, the remainder of the NERV personnel were hard at work on Unit-01.

There was also the mystery of my origins. At least two hours of every day was spent by Ritsuko putting me through a series of rigorous testing, including a daily MRI. Maya assisted, but that was her only other duty. Her primary assignment for the remaining eleven days was to serve specifically as my escort. She complained once or twice, but I tried to reassure her as best as I could.

"I am... not good at anything but computers," she cried, bowing her head in shame. "That is why... I am helping you." We sat during lunch in the cafeteria, the third full day after my arrival, The lieutenant slumped in her seat, staring at the low quality replica of spaghetti and garlic bread. Her hands rested on the table, surrounding the sides of her fiberglass food tray.

I sat across from her at the table for two. "I am sure you have many other talents," I replied. "You were with the Self Defense Forces before, weren't you?" Watching the brunette sulk, I knew something had to be done. Her eyes shifted slightly as I extended my right hand, holding her left gently. She reacted immediately, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. "You're good at what you do. Isn't that enough?"

Ibuki took a sharp breath, and shook her head. "I'm not even a good Self Defense Forces officer!" she whined. "I had trouble passing firearms training, and almost failed physical training. I cannot even speak English clear." Tightening my hold on her hand, I smiled reassuringly.

"If you want, we have the spare time now," I suggested. "Would you like me to help teach you?" Ibuki stared at me in disbelief. "I have been around guns since I was a child, and I can do fairly well with the AR-15. You are helping me adjust, so I can at least help you in return."

Maya stared in disbelief, then smiled back. "Okay," she breathed.

I don't think Maya ever expected me to have the experience with guns that I claimed. She was used to living in a nation where all gun ownership is outright banned. The idea of a guy my age having about sixteen years of experience around handguns alone disturbed her. But before we tried the pistols, I wanted her to have an idea of how to handle the rifles.

The fact of the matter was, as any good Evangelion fan knew, the invasion by the Self Defense Forces was bloody and remorseless. Although I had made my judgments about her, Ritsuko, and the other officers of NERV, I wasn't going to let them get killed. There were so many unarmed personnel who were butchered helplessly while they surrendered. I couldn't change the invasion, but if I could give one more person a chance to live, at least until the Third Impact, I would be satisfied.

Ibuki led me to the indoor rifle range, the cold steel doors sliding back into the recesses of the wall. Two soldiers were at practice with their M4 carbines. I watched them intently, nodding towards them when Maya glanced at me. "They are good," I said. The soldiers paused, their ammunition depleted, and turned to face us. The men saluted, and Lieutenant Ibuki quickly saluted in return. I simply bowed respectfully to both men. When they noticed us checking out the M16-A2, and the 120 rounds of ammunition in six magazines, they simply laughed.

I couldn't make out the Japanese, but I saw Maya shrink back, intimidated by the men. She was about to turn the rifle back in to the gun locker, when I grabbed it from her forcefully, and strode up to the nearest station beside the two soldiers. Both must have had some practice with English, because they glared at me when I said "Watch me, faggots!"

Slapping a twenty round magazine into the lower receiver, I racked the charging handle back, wrapped the sling around my left arm, and stood parallel to the range, my left elbow tucked into my ribcage for added bone support. I think both Maya and the guards realized I knew my stuff the second I flipped from the large aperture sight to the smaller one, since the range was approximately 200 meters in length. Replacing my right hand on the pistol grip, I flicked the selector switch to semiautomatic, took a deep breath, let it out, and pulled the trigger.

Five or six rounds made it downrange in approximately a three inch grouping. "Not bad for 20-100 vision in my right eye," I said calmly. The soldiers were frozen in stunned silence, while Ibuki gasped. To add some emphasis to my skill, I flicked the action selector to the three round burst setting, and emptied the magazine into the target. The resulting impacts were spread out slightly more than my first grouping, but still concentrated enough to mean death for any human on the other end of the rifle. Engaging the safety, I ejected the mag, pulled the charging handle back, and peered through the upper receiver. "The action is filthy!" I grunted. Turning to Ibuki, I asked "Do you have a pencil?"

Handing over a pen, Maya stared, confused. Using the back of the pen, I pressed the two receiver pins out, separating the upper and lower of the rifle. From this point on, removing the charging handle, taking apart the bolt assembly, and inspecting the barrel for debris was a piece of cake. Noticing one of the soldiers approach, his jaw unhinged in surprise, I simply replied "This is what I do for fun."

•••••••••••••

Maya and I left the rifle range about an hour after we first entered. Her aim needed work, but she was steadily improving through the session. More importantly, her confidence grew. "Thank you," she said, the minute our ear plugs were removed.

"You are welcome," I answered. "Tomorrow, do you want to try pistols?" She nodded hesitantly. Of course, handguns were more difficult to aim, but that could be resolved with the proper breathing technique, stance, and lots of practice. We just reached the t-junction, when the klaxon alarm blared over the public address system. Again, the Japanese threw me. I was learning a couple words here and there, but everything was said too fast to keep up. I didn't need to know what the woman said over the speakers, however, as Maya gripped my right hand tightly, pulling me to a jog. "It is... Shinji," she said.

He was a full eleven days early. I felt my stomach twist in discomfort. This world had diverged from the schedule, and somewhere in the back of my mind, I laughed. Gendo was probably reworking the scenario as we ran for Cage Seven.

End of Chapter III

•••••••••••••

It's about time I get to talk guns and lead up to the meat of the story. Keep the feedback coming. I need to know if I'm doing something stupid, or I haven't proofread enough.

•••••••••••••


	4. Chapter IV: Meeting the Cast, Part II

I do not own the rights to Neon Genesis Evangelion, or any of the characters, equipment, or locations written in this fanfiction. The purpose of this fanfiction is merely for the non-profit enjoyment of other readers. If requested by Gainax, Hideki Anno, or other parties which represent aforementioned objects in this story, I will remove it promptly.

**Chapter IV:**

Maya and I arrived just in time to see four doctors wheel something away on a gurney. It took a moment or two before I recognized the boy with dark brown hair lying unconscious on the wheeled frame, an intravenous drip running to his left arm. It wasn't until I made it down half the length of the catwalk when I could see it all in it's massive, haunting splendor. Unit-01, the purple armored beast, stood over us in Cage Seven, the wounds from it's prior battle healed. I guessed it was natural to repair the Evangelion while Shinji was still absorbed, but the fact there was nothing better to do than repair a mothballed artificial construct like this did not reassure me.

My thoughts returned to how the timeline had shifted while I studied the creature in detail. In the anime, while there is no actual measure of time between events, two primary characters were about to suffer. If Shinji's recovery had been accelerated due to my arrival, it is possible more variations would appear. I would just have to be careful.

"I thought you said it would be another eleven days?" Doctor Akagi asked suddenly, startling me. Turning around, I noticed the woman glare, her eyes focusing on mine. "If we hadn't chosen to monitor Unit-01 continuously until Shinji's... arrival, he could have easily died!" This was going to be a long day.

"I thought it would be eleven more days," I answered, trying my best to defend myself. "That's what my... sources indicated. But obviously my sources are no longer accurate, as the timeline has diverged." I watched Ritsuko's face twitch for a moment. Whether she was pleased or upset by that news, I didn't know. Half serious, I decided the best response would be a line from The Abyss. "We need to take steps," I stated vaguely.

Then I noticed the purple-haired major storm towards me, her fists balled up, ready to strike. Just before she closed the distance, Ritsuko turned and blocked her. "Major, like I told Doctor Akagi," I began, "I really did believe it would be another eleven days." Somehow, this didn't seem to stop the crying, growling mass of rage clawing for my throat. Ritsuko struggled against her as best she could, but she wasn't going to last for long. "Don't protect me, Doctor. If the Major insists on this foolishness, just let her."

"You asshole!" she screamed. I nodded in agreement, which seemed to throw Katsuragi for a loop, but only for a moment. There's only so much of your reputation you can protect. When you're thrown into a world when you know what's going to happen, but you're proven wrong, there's not much you can do except say you thought you were right, and just walk away. It's great in theory, but human nature and science clash too much for a rational approach to life to offer any kind of pleasure.

Misato finally shoved Ritsuko away, the doctor rebounding off the catwalk railing. Akagi winced in pain, crumpling to the ground. I couldn't tell if I gave any outward signs of fear, but I wasn't really that afraid. There was a slight trembling in my palms and jaw, the adrenaline starting to kick in, but those are more signs of being physiologically ready to deal with a threat. Fear and readiness are often confused, their symptoms strikingly similar.

I watched as Katsuragi grabbed the collar of my shirt, jerking me upward. That was another thing I hated about my new form. Other than the female issues I would run into sooner or later, I was now five foot, two inches tall, and a healthy but slim 122 pounds. If I were in my old body, it wouldn't have been so easy for Misato to manhandle me like she did, threatening me with her right hand balled into a fist. "I want answers!" she bellowed.

Facing the possible bludgeoning, I examined my options with cold efficiency. Then, in my typical style, I made the wrong choice. "Doctor Akagi," I said, ignoring the major. "With Unit-01 too unstable for combat, and Asuka's synch ratio slipping, you need another pilot, don't you?" The doctor nodded, but I noticed Misato grind her teeth in my peripheral vision. "I suppose you have already analyzed my likelihood of being a Marduke Qualifier. What are the results?"

This conversation, or the fact she was being ignored, seemed to shut Misato up, finally. "You are... indeed a Marduke Qualifier," Ritsuko answered, stunned. While the Angels often stumped mankind's collective efforts, I highly doubt the doctor was ever used to someone other than Gendo Ikari winning intellectual sparring matches. I had to admit, all my hate for the woman was now gone, and I reconsidered my judgments from before.

"If Unit-02's core, or should I say, the former Mrs. Soryu's soul, will accept me, will you allow me to pilot?"

Both Ritsuko and Misato just stared, both sets of eyes going wide in shock. Obviously, Misato did not know about the true nature of the Eva, even after Shinji's ordeal. Ritsuko knew about it, but after all of my confessions, she still doubted how much I knew. The doctor nodded dumbly in response. "We were... looking-"

"Yes, yes, you were looking for a replacement because Asuka has lost the latest battles against the 13th, 14th, and will most likely be defeated by the 15th Angel, if it's form is the same as I remember," I interrupted, again causing gasps and wide eyes to stare back at me. This sounds incredibly arrogant, but I had to admit, terrifying the personnel of a classified military organization such as NERV with how much you know about their personal lives, things even their dossiers don't contain, never loses it's appeal. There's something childish about it, yes, but it gives a pleasure unlike any other.

"Then, are you-?" Ritsuko began, before I interrupted with a quick nod. "Yes, I am willing to pilot," I answered. "However, I need a couple weeks to practice breathing and opening my eyes in L.C.L., and I would prefer to have Asuka as a tutor." Quickly, I turned to finally acknowledge Misato's presence. "Now that I will be working for you, I'll let you know what you want." However, I didn't get the opportunity.

The rest of the night consisted of holding an ice pack to my jaw, and having the doctors of the private hospital straighten my broken nose.

•••••••••••••

I grumbled, stirring from my sleep. More nightmares, just like I had experienced before. I'm not saying this because I am some kind of "sensitive", emo-guy. My nightmares have nothing to do with "traumatic events" in my life, repressed memories, or anything close to reality. The best way to describe my nightmares is a good, healthy scare every once in a while to get the blood pumping. Their content also suggests I really watch too many action and vigilante films. I suppose even the human psyche has a limit to how much Charles Bronson a man can take.

There are, of course, those nightmares which come along and do involve a legitimate fear, but they're often the mundane scenarios of filing income tax returns, having to pay excessive bills for dental work, or falling off a ladder while replacing the roofing on a shed. This was one of those nightmares, and it involved a certain sexually abusive NERV commander drooling all over me under the illusion I was his wife, and the nine millimeter I had couldn't get through his body armor.

Well, technically I was more of a niece or illegitimate child to Gendo, and perhaps that was enough to just get stuck with abandonment. That was at least the lesser of two evils, and the one I was rooting for. The less Commander Ikari saw of me, the better. As I forced myself to open my eyes, the left being rather stubborn as the skin around it was swollen, I groaned, sitting up in the hospital bed. Ritsuko and Maya had arranged more suitable living conditions than the examination room, where I had slept for the last couple days.

Without having to look, I already knew someone else was in the room with me. I could hear the person breathing somewhere near the opposite wall, my bed tucked right against the left wall of the room. Throwing my legs over the side of the bed, I crawled out, and rubbed the swollen cheek with my hand. I reminded myself to be just a little slow during the next couple of Angel attacks, letting the creature possibly cause some structural failure, possibly injuring a certain operations director. Seele couldn't possibly claim a hesitant response was a deliberate act of homicide on one's commanding officer.

The form in the bed against the right wall of the room was familiar enough. Shinji Ikari was awake, staring up at the ceiling, mumbling something in Japanese. Then, hearing me stir under the covers, he glanced in my direction. Fortunately, I wasn't injured enough to require a hospital gown, and still lacking any form of pajamas, just slept in my t-shirt and jeans. I ran my right hand down my face, trying to brush the sleep and stray hairs from my eyes. "Shinji Ikari?" I asked.

The boy nodded.

"Do you speak English?"

This time, there was a sad, apologetic shake of his head, indicating "no." At least he knew enough English to answer that he couldn't speak it. Standing up, I decided I had slept long enough, and walked over to Ikari. The minute I got within about five feet, he began to twitch. I didn't understand why, until I heard the door open, and a pale, albino girl walked in, dressed in the schoolgirl uniform I had seen so many times in the series.

Rei's immediate reaction was to halt suddenly, then tilt her head to the side just a degree or two. "Rei Ayanami?" I asked, slightly stunned. I remembered what my new body looked like, and Rei was an incredibly close match. It wasn't the same as staring in the mirror, but close enough to remind me of the similarities between my real sister and I. Ayanami blinked, then nodded. "Do you speak English?" I asked. This time, I was awarded with a slight nod, and immediately she started asking questions.

"Who are you?" the First Child asked, her voice dull but pleasant.

"I have a name," I began, "but it is not appropriate for this new... form." I gestured along my sides to indicate my body, confusing the girl even more than the normal difficulty of a foreign language. This was something I hadn't thought about before. I have an odd habit of never using names or titles when I speak to other people. Simple eye contact, and "sir", "ma'am", or "miss" work well enough. Now that I thought about it, I had not once been called by name since my arrival. At least now I would have a chance to reinvent myself. "Does Commander Ikari know about me?"

Shinji shifted again in his bed, this time recognizing the title "Commander". I imagined he was already gauging my "datable" quotient, and the first major turn-off is the mention of a closeness to his father. To my displeasure, Rei nodded, and said "He is choosing what to do with you now." Ayanami must have noticed my fists and teeth clench in anger.

"Remind me to get a restraining order," I grumbled. "I want nothing to do with him, and if you so much as tell him anything I say, you cannot possibly imagine the consequences."

Rei's eyes narrowed. "Are you threatening violence against me?" I don't know why she seemed hesitant in her speech. She had obviously had a lot of practice with English, and as far as I could tell, was proficient.

"Are you really willing to go ahead with Commander Ikari's plan for the Third Impact?" At this, Rei's eyes widened. It was amusing, the first hint of emotion I had seen from her so far. "He's using you, and you know it. You are either too stupid to see it, or you like the attention."

"I do not like you," she said.

I shrugged my shoulders. "A lot of people feel the same way," I answered, pointing to my face. "Major Katsuragi seems to be one of them." To recap, I now had two people I thought were unworthy of survival as my allies, and two people I thought I could trust as my enemies. I wondered how Asuka would take my arrival. "Anyway, you can hate me all you like, but unfortunately I'm stuck here, and if Commander Ikari thinks he's going to use me as he does you or Shinji, he's got another thing coming."

Rei growled, then slapped me hard, glaring. Of course, she would pick the previously injured side of my face. I contorted in pain, gripped my cheek, and clenched my fist. "If I weren't worried about your AT Field, I'd hit back." Again, Rei twitched in surprise. "Now should I call you Lillith, or Yui?"

"I am I," she answered without hesitation. "I am not just the sum of my components." Shinji, of course, reacted when he heard his mother's name mentioned. He mumbled something, and Rei simply turned and shook her head. Then she held out something in her left hand. "These are your orders."

Ayanami handed me a sealed, green envelope, the NERV logo engraved in a deep crimson red. I took it hesitantly, and efficiently tore the top of the envelope, and dumped the contents onto the nearest counter surface. Within, I found a crimson identification card, a magnetic strip on the back. There was no photo, which I supposed was meant for security purposes. While a photo identification card would make more sense, if the card were found by anti-NERV agents, it would be the perfect means to identify a target for assassination. However, I wanted to be sure. "Are these identification cards supposed to have a picture of the registered user, or are they normally left blank?" I asked. Rei glared, but was willing to answer my question, as I was now a fellow pilot.

"This is a temporary card, and offers limited access to NERV Headquarters," she explained. "Your permanent card will be issued after three to four weeks, and your photo taken. I nodded in agreement. "Thank you," I answered.

It was a rough start, but I knew somehow things would improve. Rei glared back, still annoyed, but nodded approvingly. "There are some other matters which must be handled before your meeting with Commander Ikari."

Again Ayanami surprised me, holding out a list. Gripping the paper tightly, I glanced over the contents. It was a schedule for the day with references to room numbers throughout NERV. Conveniently for me, NERV followed the same pattern of naming rooms based on their respective floor and a linear progression along the hallway.

"Do you know what time it is?" I asked.

Rei didn't even glance at the watch on her wrist. Staring straight into my eyes, she answered "It is eight-hundred and twenty hours." I nodded, then glanced over to Shinji. He hadn't eaten in almost three weeks. While all of his nutrition was handled by the Eva's own power supply, he was back in a physical form now.

"It looks like I have time before my first meeting," I said. "Would you and Shinji care to join me for breakfast?"

Rei turned to Shinji, speaking quickly in Japanese. Still confused, Shinji nodded, stretching. However, he immediately blushed, and mentioned something to Rei. "We will not be able to attend," the First Child answered. "Ikari has no clothes, and I... have no interest in attending."

"Alright," I answered. "I suppose I'll see you guys around." Rei and Shinji simply watched as I strode out of the room.

•••••••••••••

My schedule for the day consisted of the more boring yet necessary matters of logistics. First came more medical exams, this time including both dental and visual. My teeth received a perfect rating. I expected as much, seeing as I was just created not a week ago. Conveniently for my sake, all of the doctors I had seen were somewhat familiar with English, mainly because there were a number of foreign officers, technicians, and private contractors working for NERV. The optometrist, a Doctor Benjamin Reynolds, was the first who spoke fluently.

"I'm glad there's someone here who speaks American English without an accent," he smiled, shining the pen light into the eyes. "Where are you from?"

"California," I answered. This was, of course, my birthplace in my prior life, but whether he knew about my arrival, I didn't particularly care. He wasn't dealing with a 14 year old Japanese girl in my mind, but the average Aryan-looking American guy. "My family used to live around Silicon Valley about 20 years Pre-Impact, before real estate cost an arm and a leg." Now for the lie, I thought. "They moved around a bit around Washington, Oregon, and Idaho after I was born."

"No kidding?" Reynolds asked. "I had some relatives who live outside of Sacramento, up in the Sierras around a town called Placerville."

"Do you take Highway 50 East to see them, or do you take the more scenic route around 88 and 26 through Jackson?"

The doctor stared, stunned. "What the hell are you talking about?" he asked. "That town doesn't exist anymore. Flash flood after Second Impact washed everything away below a 2,500 foot elevation." He must have realized something was wrong. "Jackson, you say? How would you know about that if you were born Post-Impact? More importantly, how would you not know it was destroyed?"

"Umm..." I stumbled on my words, trying to think quickly. It was just one of those times to gamble on your lies by playing dumb. In my case, being an avid viewer of the old Get Smart series with Don Adams, the first three words of what I was about to say were ingrained in my head. "Would you believe I channel the spirits of the dead?"

"No... I wouldn't," the doctor grumbled.

"Would you believe I just looked over a few Pre-Impact California maps?" I replied.

"Better," Reynolds said. He knew it was a lie, but he didn't seem too terribly disturbed. "Well, after going through all the bells and whistles without much explanation, I'm confident you've worn a pair of these before." He held out a pair of the black plastic glasses, no lenses installed.

"Let me guess," I said. "Henry Ford makes all of the frames these days. I can have any color I want so long as it's black."

Reynolds couldn't help but laugh. "Witty and you know your history," he smiled. "It's not as bad as you think. NERV will cover the expenses for your glasses or contacts, as long as you get their cheap plastic military issue frames. If you want something with a higher quality, you'll have to pay for them out of your NERV account.

"I think I'll go with the latter," I answered. "I like the spring-loaded metal frames. The screws don't need to be tightened as much, and I know I'll definitely want polycarbonate lenses." I paused, thinking for a moment. "One question, though: how much of my employment are you allowed to know?"

"If you mean your pilot status," the doctor answered, "I know enough to do the job." He sighed. "Bad stuff, that L.C.L., whatever it is. It doesn't do much for the eyes. I can already see the other Children needing corrective lenses or surgery in the next few years if they keep it up.

"That's precisely what I was worried about," I answered. "Is it possible to get some corrective lenses put into diving goggles? I heard goggles like that were a growing trend for water skiing some years back. I was kind of worried about my vision affecting my pilot status, too."

Reynolds thought about it and grinned. "It would run you some more money, but I think we can handle it." I saw him scratch out some notes on a clipboard. "We'll just make NERV pay for this. It's their goo that could ruin your eyes, after all."

Handing me the printed copies of my prescription, Reynolds shook my hand firmly and guided me out of the office. "One last thing," I said. "How high of an elevation would I have to go in the Sierras if I didn't want to swim?"

"The new Pacific Coastline starts around 3,000 feet above Pre-Impact sea level," Reynolds answered. "Why do you ask?"

"Just wanted to know."

End of Chapter IV

•••••••••••••

•••••••••••••


	5. Chapter V: Enter the Commander

I do not own the rights to Neon Genesis Evangelion, or any of the characters, equipment, or locations written in this fanfiction. The purpose of this fanfiction is merely for the non-profit enjoyment of other readers. If requested by Gainax, Hideki Anno, or other parties which represent aforementioned objects in this story, I will remove it promptly.

**Chapter V:**

The world after Second Impact had changed drastically. Not only was the landscape slowly being sculpted by the effects of water erosion, but the various microbes had also changed. Viruses and bacteria which had been harmless before had led to epidemics after the disasters, the decaying bodies in the wreckage of pre-Impact coastal cities serving as the perfect growth medium. Fortunately, with the new diseases came new cures, treatments, and vaccines.

Both of my arms received a battery of shots, some for tetanus, hepatitis, polio, and tuberculosis. Others, however, were for these new viruses, including our old friend H5N1, the bird flu. What shocked me the most was the exponentially increasing presence of AIDS, a vaccine or cure still decades away from development. Apparently the death of over 3 billion people did not stop those who were infected. Quite the opposite was true, in fact. With the constant propaganda to reproduce the species, contraceptives and STDs were not of much concern. As a result, from 2007 to 2012, the entire continent of Africa was quarantined, while the remaining nations of the world under the U.N. tried desperately to regulate everyone's reproductive freedoms.

"This means no sex for you unless you're married and financially ready to have a child," one doctor grumbled at me. "Don't tell me it's not on your mind." I just glared at the man, and balled my fists. He backed off for a moment, but still regarded me as an irresponsible teenager.

•••••••••••••

It amuses me sometimes how trusting others are. I suppose I am too gullible and harmless for my own good. However, in the case of Commander Ikari and NERV in general, they gave too many liberties to their pilots to ensure their own survival. In the series, the Children come off as being manipulated by Seele and Gendo Ikari. To an extent that is true.

However, the psychology of the Children were their own restraints. Shinji would never turn against NERV so long as he believed good, caring people worked there, or he bought into the meaningless dribble of protecting humanity. Asuka, for all her aggression, was the stereotypical anime girl. She would bite, scratch, and kick, but in the end she was always submissive and easily subdued. Finally, the half Angel Rei, for all of her powers, simply followed Gendo's orders because she felt he was the only friend she could acquire. If there was one way to sum them all up, the Children did what they did out of fear of rejection.

But I was different. I had rejected and been rejected by friends for some time. There was no pain involved in it. Some people just don't deserve your friendship, or you don't deserve theirs.

Gendo Ikari had not expected me to arrive fifteen minutes early. He also did not expect me dressed in the black blazer, skirt, pumps, and a navy blue necktie for good measure. The stockings I wore were annoying, but far less embarrassing than pantyhose. It was just an added touch to formal dress, I reminded myself. It was no different now in this female body than a man having to wear calf-high black socks.

"You were not expected until eleven-hundred hours," the commander barked in a proficient English. I was impressed how dark Gendo could keep the office and still carry out his duties, whatever they were, without significant eye strain. I estimated the range from the entrance to his desk at approximately seventy-five feet, maybe a little more. It was an important fact to consider for later, when I had both the time and the ammunition.

I let my arms dangle loosely at my sides, my eyes staring ahead, showing full attention was on my employer. "I prefer to be early to an important meeting," I answered. "Also, I do not want to waste your time on ridiculous formalities." Gendo smiled a small, mischievous smile. I couldn't tell at this point, but later as I spent more time within the hierarchy of First Branch, my prompt arrival in formal attire and my respect had won the dictator of NERV over easily. He still was as paranoid as ever, but I later overhead he regarded me with far more respect than Fuyutsuki. Perhaps it was because of what happened next.

"Your... unique nature interests me, Fifth Child," the commander continued, the man rising to his feet behind the desk. He strode out towards me in slow, deliberate steps. I considered how similar the both of us were, and my stomach churned slightly at the thought. He was about fifteen feet away when I noticed the matte black Jericho 941 pistol in his right hand. I had almost not seen it in the darkness. It was blind luck I recognized it. "Unfortunately, you are an unnecessary risk." What followed, however, was not so much luck as a prudent use of my imprisonment in the hospital room, and Gendo's tendency to overestimate the effects of his presence.

Commander Ikari raised the pistol, and I immediately took action. Dodging towards the pistol hand, I withdrew the scalpel hidden under my skirt. I was glad the security within NERV was weak to say the least. While there were a few perverted guards, I had managed to scare them off with my typical rantings of exterior ballistics. It's amazing what a look, and the right dialogue delivered with a cold, factual tone will do to the most intimidating authoritative figure.

Gendo snarled as I raised my arms, my left forearm applying pressure behind his right shoulder. He leaned forward, helpless as my forearms kept all of his options shut down. He swung at me with his left hand, but I blocked that with my right, and for good measure dug the scalpel into his hand. "ARGHHH!" he grunted. But I was not finished with him.

The beginning karate class I had taken for one term at college was definitely not enough to prevent the security guards from subduing me minutes later, but it was enough to stop an unskilled thug like Gendo. Now I realized we were not so similar. While the commander of NERV and I shared the same chilling capacity to analyze the best options to take what we wanted, he did not prepare himself as I had to take matters into his own hands. Everything was about using someone else to get what he wanted. When push came to shove, I'd simply use his own weaknesses against him.

Just before the guards entered, I delivered a high knee strike to his ribs, a sickening crack emanating from his chest. Then, an elbow strike below the base of the skull helped nudge the man's complacent body to the floor. Gendo squirmed on the floor, lying on his back, his right arm still held in my hands. He jerked the pistol's trigger back hard, a couple rounds firing off into the ceiling. I heard the door flung open, and two men shouting at me.

I dug the heel of the pump on my right foot hard against Gendo's broken ribs, adding a twist to the motion for added effect. Ikari protested, shouting what he would do to me in English so I could understand. One comment consisted of some rather unpleasant remarks regarding his goons "having their way" with me. For that, I pulled the scalpel out of his hand, and drove it into his right forearm, slicing the tendons. Even if he wanted to shoot me, he couldn't anymore. As the guards dragged me away, I spat on the man's face. "You will always be WEAKER than I, Rokubungi! Remember that!"

Once the shock of hearing his real name used, Gendo let that disgusting smile cross his face one more time before he spoke. "Yui," he mumbled.

•••••••••••••

The trick when locked up in NERV's brig is to stay as close to the far wall as possible, preferably near the ventilation shaft. The rest of the cell is pitch black and cold, but the electric heater elements give enough of a reddish glow and warmth to make the back of the cell quite comfortable. I yawned, my jaw feeling incredibly sore from the bruise Misato had given me a day before. The rest of my face, my back, legs, arms, and feet stung as well, the result of some newly delivered welts. The high density plastic tactical batons used by NERV's Section Two for interrogation or employee "mental rehabilitation" flex just enough to let the average person take maybe an hour of non-stop blows across the body before blacking out.

My ears were still ringing, but fortunately the local anesthetics given by the emergency dentist on call after my "rehabilitation" were still in effect. With a little surgery, all of my teeth were saved, and the novacaine helped ease the pain in my cheeks. The dentist, while not licensed to do so, also helped stitch the deeper cuts across my face for free. "You've done what no one else ever had the courage to do, and lived through it," the dentist said. He rested his hand on the top of my head, the only part that wasn't bruised, and gave me a mournful smile.

Three hours after my capture, and two hours after I was thrown and cuffed to the dentist's chair by Section Two, I was thrown harshly into the cell. Walking was next to impossible regardless of how much I tried, as my feet were still bruised and tender. Overall, I was more angry than depressed. That changed, however, when Maya ran to the barred door of the cell, staring at me. Apparently word spreads fast through the command deck.

"Doctor Akagi... wants you to have... letter," the lieutenant whispered.

I nodded, my neck muscles stinging in protest. "Can you open it?" I asked through clenched teeth, my jaw still too swollen to speak comfortably. "Can't use fingers..." I held up my hands, every part of my body screaming that I just stop all movement and sleep it off. Ibuki nodded, a tear tracing down her cheek. A few seconds later, she passed the letter through the bars. With the corridor light on, I could read the printed English well enough, the three simple words 'do not resist' written in black pen.

"You are ordered to... stay with Dr. Akagi," Maya continued. There was an electronic buzz, and the sound of a mechanical link clanging in the barred door's lock assembly. The bars slid away just as the recessed overhead lights flooded the cell with their brilliance. The lighting is used specifically to subdue the criminal held within, giving the agents enough light to search for any contraband. I yelped, my girlish cry making me more upset than the pain as my captors dragged me across the floor out into the hallway. The newly purchased clothes were torn and bloodstained, but it was NERV's money, and they'd let me purchase more.

"Never do this again!" one agent grunted, scowling. He delivered a swift kick to my gut, and I writhed on the floor. I heard Maya scream in protest, the guards immediately backing away, grumbling under their breath. Once the two agents had cleared the cell, Maya knelt beside me. Her hands wrapped around my shoulders, her arms slowly lifting me to a sitting position. "I am... very sorry," she answered.

"Does Commander Ikari always point handguns at new recruits?" Maya blinked in confusion, so I tried to explain again with different words. "Commander Ikari... pointed a weapon at me." I extended my right index finger and stuck up my thumb, making the universal symbol of a pistol. Ibuki understood, shaking her head. "Great, I'm the lucky one."

Helping me to stand, Maya threw my right arm over her shoulders, and pretty much dragged me to the hallway. A wheelchair was positioned just outside of the cell. With a quick shoving motion, the brunette tossed me into the chair. My legs immediately giving way underneath me made any other form of entry next to impossible. "You...okay?" Maya asked.

I nodded slightly, and fell immediately asleep.

•••••••••••••

My first thought when I woke up was the realization I was not in the hospital. The room was painted a soft white, the twin frame bed was too soft, and everything seemed too feminine. "How are you feeling?" a soft voice cooed. Then I noticed Ritsuko sitting in a simple wooden chair to my right.

"Your place?" I asked. The doctor nodded. "It's nice." Ritsuko's decorative tastes really helped make me realize she was more than just the psychologically damaged doctor. It helped me understand there was at least something outside of Eva to her life. Then again, did these simply serve as distractions from her time at NERV, or were they really aspects of her life outside of NERV?

"How long was I-?" I began, before Ritsuko interrupted.

"Nearly two days," she answered. I nodded in understanding, There was less pain overall, but now I felt stiff. Looking down, I noticed I wasn't in my torn formal wear any longer. The sweat pants and t-shirt were my new form's size, so I was fairly certain they did not belong to Ritsuko. "Who's are these?"

"Maya did a little extra shopping for you... while you were asleep." I nodded, and tried to sit up. I let out a grunt, and was almost upright when the pain set in. My muscles still tense, I fell back to the bed. Akagi had walked out to give me some privacy, but hearing me struggle, was immediately at my side. She tucked her hands under my back, and helped lift me to a sitting position.

"Thank you," I said.

"You do realize you will be under strict observation from now on, don't you?" Ritsuko asked. "You nearly killed the commander!"

I could see Ritsuko's eyes widen, the woman backing away as my lips curled back into a snarl. "The _commander_ was trying to kill me!" I spat out. "He pointed a gun in my face. Then, after I waste him, he called me Yui!" Lowering my voice, I stared into the woman's eyes. "You know just as well as I do how he's planning to use me. That is, of course, if I don't castrate him first."

Akagi trembled slightly, and backed into the wall next to the bed. "Don't!" she started, covering her ears with her hands. "Don't... you don't know anything!" She paled as I began to stand on my feet.

"Doctor Akagi, are you really going to be manipulated just like your mother?" It was the last straw. Ritsuko began to sob uncontrollably, and crumpled to the floor. She pulled her legs to her chest. I sighed, and hesitantly crouched in front of the woman. My legs barely held me up, but my very life depended on how trusting I came off in my delivery. I reached out and set my hands on the woman's arms. "Listen, and understand," I continued. "The only reason Gendo Rokubungi is so powerful, is because you think he is."

Ritsuko sniffled, her tears still running down her cheeks, but she was now looking up at me in interest. "Look at him!" I barked. "He's one man! Any power he has is the result of people doing what he tells them out of fear!"

"B-but...!" Ritsuko began, but I shot her down before she could continue.

"It's all posturing. The way he walks, the way he glares, everything he says; it's all posturing to make you think he's stronger than he really is." I sighed, rising to my feet. "If he were as strong as you thought he was, I would not have been able to hurt him as I did today. He is weak."

"How can you say Ikari's weak?" she shouted back. "Look what he did to you!"

"Section Two did this to me, _not_ Rokubungi!" I snarled. "And don't you DARE refer to him as Ikari. That's Yui's name, not his!" My fists clenched in rage. If I wasn't terribly disgusted with Gendo before, I was now. You really can't see the good side to a person once they try to kill you. Also, as much as it disgusted me, I was in part a child of Yui Ikari. The last thing I was going to do was let my new form's genetic donor be walked all over by such filth. "In the end, he even sacrificed her, not through his own strength, but by her own pathetic desire to be the perfect, submissive wife!" I took a sharp, quick breath. "He can be stopped, and I will NEVER submit!" I was frustrated beyond all comprehension. "I think you're a nice person, Ritsuko, I really do," I said. "But if you are going to be a pawn of the commander, you are my enemy, and I will kill you. Do you understand?"

The doctor could hardly believe what I was saying. Here I was, two days after I was beaten by Gendo's goon squad, claiming he was weak, and I could easily crush him if I so desired. It wasn't entirely impossible. NERV's security was easily defeated as long as you had a clearance card and didn't act out too much. Though I had already shown I was too dangerous to be trusted, someone in Ritsuko's position with the right amount of motivation could easily take the necessary steps.

"Are you with me, or against me?" I growled.

"You... I... I can't..." Ritsuko breathed. "You ask too much."

"Then are you going to stop me?"

Akagi's mouth hung open. "Do you even know what you're saying? You are going against all of NERV, and you are a pilot!" She sighed, wiping the tears from her eyes, and let out a sarcastic laugh. "I could have you thrown right back in that cell so quickly..."

"I'm fighting against Seele and Gendo Ikari, not NERV," I hissed. "There's a difference. The Angels will come regardless of who is in command. I am asking you, will you interfere?"

"I could be killed for this!"

"Gendo will kill you once he's done with you anyway. I've seen it happen. I also know you are opposed to the Human Completion Project. I am giving you that opportunity to get what you want. All you have to do is keep your mouth shut, and stay out of my way." Almost for the sake of comic relief, my stomach growled. Ritsuko blushed, but I just shrugged it off. Looking out the window, I noticed it was night. The digital alarm clock proved my assumption. It was five minutes to three. "Is it too late for dinner?"

Akagi stopped her trembling and smiled, shaking her head. "Not at all."

End of Chapter V

•••••••••••••

Sooner or later I'll get to the meat of the story: piloting the Eva in combat. However, planning to kill Gendo needs to come first.

•••••••••••••


	6. Chapter VI: Driving Lessons

I do not own the rights to Neon Genesis Evangelion, or any of the characters, equipment, or locations written in this fanfiction. The purpose of this fanfiction is merely for the non-profit enjoyment of other readers. If requested by Gainax, Hideki Anno, or other parties which represent aforementioned objects in this story, I will remove it promptly.

**Chapter VI:**

While I have no idea why Gendo would put someone as dangerous to his established dictatorship like myself under the guardianship of Ritsuko Akagi, I can make some guesses. Obviously the language barrier would be a problem with Shinji and Misato, and while I did communicate quite effectively with Asuka, I would have inflicted far more pain than I did if I were forced in close proximity with her outside of NERV. Maya, as friendly as she was, also had difficulty speaking and writing in English. If I were to ever learn a very simplistic level of Japanese, it would have to be through someone who could master both languages.

Gendo Rokubungi, as I began to call him, probably did not realize how much of an effect I would have on the blonde doctor. The next couple of days after my living assignment with Akagi, we slowly worked on establishing a comfortable routine. While I explained I had left my world not a week before, near the end of my junior year as a business major, I was relegated to the same junior high school class as Asuka, Shinji, and Rei. While I knew Asuka had graduated college, she truly was 14 years old. I, on the other hand, was mentally 23, and was so great a security risk, I was hoping NERV would forge a transfer student transcript, and let me finish where I left off. However, apparently the post-Impact world had changed the way business was run as well as the environment.

I also proved far too complacent after my initial bludgeoning for NERV to keep me out of school. I suppose it was for the best. Not knowing what awaited me, I thought I should at least acquire an education and a way to support myself in the event the Angel War was won. The series and it's various fan fictions would not help me when I had to get a job and put food on the table.

About the only positive aspect of attacking Gendo other than getting a few cheers and terrified looks from the staff had been the two week observation period put on me. A psychologist would report on my initial and final conditions after said period. Once I was trusted again, then NERV would allow me to begin pilot training.

Ritsuko had two free days to help me acquire the necessities of modern life as a teenage female. Of course, there was the embarrassment of shaving, and the specifics of the female reproductive system, but I just kept reminding myself nothing would change. Regardless of gender, my privacy and health practices would be the same as before. Then, to my complete disgust, Ritsuko insisted I see a gynecologist.

"No way in HELL," I grumbled to the nurse. "And you can forget breast exams, too, while you're at it! If I'm going to get cancer, I'll wait till I feel like crap before I have someone poke and prod me in those places." Both Ritsuko and the male doctor who would conduct the embarrassing diagnosis walked in just as I threatened to kill the nurse's husband, all her kids, and burn her house down if she got within my personal space.

I suppose I'm a little short-sighted and unrealistic about my beliefs, but it doesn't apply to just the female gender. Through all of those dreaded health and fitness classes when the subject of self-exams and making regular appointments came up, I swore I would never follow the advice, and I never have. I'll wait until I'm sick before I worry about that stuff.

"If I am going to die, I will die fast and happy," I said. Ritsuko let out a groan, but accepted my choice under the condition my medical insurance would be cut to a spartan level. When I worked out the calculations, this seemed to cover everything I anticipated would happen outside of NERV. Regardless of how severe an injury, anything related to piloting would be handled.

After the fiasco at the public hospital, Ritsuko took the time during our walk to the nearby optometrist to voice her opinions. "You are far too arrogant for your own good," she grumbled. "If you aren't careful, someone will kill you. Do you realize how close you came to death not three days ago?"

"Rokubungi wouldn't kill me," I replied, my hands beginning to tremble. "He called me Yui, and seemed to smile the most disgusting, perverted smile I've ever seen. He's probably planning to molest me, but not kill me." I clenched my hands tight into fists, a signal the doctor was beginning to connect with my malicious thoughts.

Ritsuko stared. "What do you intend to accomplish? The commander is watching your every move! Do you really think you can afford to be so rash?" When I nodded, the woman just sighed. "You are crazy. You will get me killed for sure."

"You are going to die anyway when the combined J.S.S.D.F. and U.N. forces attack the Geofront. Of all people, the commander is the one who kills you when you try to stop Rei from joining with Lillith." This seemed to get the doctor's attention, as she immediately came to a stop, a blank expression on her face. "If you don't believe me, then just wait. Those nine millimeters don't have any serious armor penetration, but they do the job. Take my advice, and when you intend to kill him, don't waste time talking him out of it. Just shoot him."

•••••••••••••

Ritsuko kept silent for the rest of the drive back from the optometrist to her apartment. The white electric Toyota coupe emitted a peculiar high pitched whine, something I was unfamiliar with in automobiles. However, the jutte padding insulated the cabin from most of the noise. The sound emitted outside was still quite loud, but nothing louder than you would expect from an internal combustion engine. It was unusual, I noted, sitting in a passenger seat on the left side of the vehicle.

With my NERV account activated, Akagi and I had gone out to purchase my new glasses and more clothing, including a replacement for the formal attire which had been shredded during Section Two's attack. This time, however, I was forced to choose along more feminine tastes. I convinced the doctor pink and soft colors were not going to work, but the cut of the shirts and jeans still felt too girly for my intentions. What was left consisted of form fitting but still conservative jeans, a few polo shirts, a couple pair of basic sneakers, and a waterproof green jacket. It was the jacket I insisted on. I've had a similar jacket since at least my junior year in high school. In fact, I am wearing that same jacket as I type this recollection of events.

The curved circular frames of my glasses had a startling similarity to the pair Gendo wore, though these had clear lenses and were more of a pepper gray metallic finish. I was surprised during the optometrist visit how poorly my vision had deteriorated, once again the prescription strength being increased. Apparently Yui's family had a history of poor eyesight, which significantly affected my own vision. I realized now how I truly was a blood relative to Shinji and Rei. "At least I have a good idea of my surname," I muttered.

When we reached the apartment complex, I could see the doctor's face tense, lines and wrinkles forming as her eyes lost some of the reflected light in them. "I am sorry... about today," I said. I thought I was at the time. It was rude of me to get her involved like that with my own plans to assassinate our boss. Whether he had it coming or not, whether Ritsuko would die or not, it was wrong of me to force her into that situation. I was just as bad as Gendo. Even more importantly, I was far too aggressive and temperamental to a person who was just trying to help.

Pulling the car into her favorite spot, approximately 50 feet from the apartment complex main entrance, Ritsuko first unlocked both our doors, then hesitantly removing her seat belt, stepped out of the vehicle. It was then things took their turn for the worse.

Hearing the stock ringtone of her cell phone, Akagi reached into her black purse, and flipped the display open. Normally in her labcoat, she would carry the phone in one of the coat pockets. Outside of NERV, however, she wore her navy blue sleeveless top and a pair of hip hugger jeans. In a scary way, she almost reminded me of my grandmother, trying to stay in with a style expired thirty years before. At least she had the figure for it, and was still young and single enough to appreciate the reaction to her wardrobe.

Then I noticed the woman shudder, her eyes dropping to stare at her feet. "Is something wrong?" I asked. It didn't take a genius to see it, but as I said before, I can't read human emotion, and around a crowd running an organization that would drive a person insane from disillusionment, I was finding it necessary to ask.

"It's... nothing," the woman lied, tucking her phone back in her purse, and walking numbly to the complex elevator. "Can you... wait outside for a while? There is something I need to do." I nodded, locking my facial features in a taunt, serious expression. Something was going down, and a poker face seemed like the best bet until I knew just what was happening.

As Ritsuko trudged into the elevator, I locked the car before closing the passenger door, and took a walk out to the back of the complex. There was an empty dirt lot behind the apartments, and as if on cue, a small crowd of elementary school children were playing soccer. Walking up to them, I found a woman, somewhere in her thirties, sitting on a blanket stretched out on the retreating grass of the lot. She glanced up at me, and I glanced back, smiling and raising my right hand in greeting. She seemed confused by the expression, as many people do when I meet a person for the first time. I don't really wave, but give more of the alien "arm raised as if asking a question" pose, the kind you'd expect Michael Rennie to perform in The Day the Earth Stood Still. I got about a similar reaction.

I at least understood her when she greeted me, though as she began to speak faster, I had to just smile and nod until I could ask "Do you speak English?" Her eyes widened in shock, particularly when I added in what little Japanese I knew that I was American. She simply smiled, than after a moment, answered me.

"I... have some English," she answered. She then introduced herself as Keiko. From what little English she knew, and what little Japanese I could make out, she was the mother of two of the kids playing in the lot. Waving to them, a boy and girl of elementary school age, both with black hair and hazel eyes approached. I smiled, and with a couple quick lessons from Keiko, introduced myself so they could understand me.

We were about to continue our conversation when a scream emanated from the fifth floor of the apartment complex. It was then my mind went blank with panic. Ritsuko lived on the fifth floor. I knew I had to do something, and while I was obviously being watched, the black "inconspicuous" van sitting on the street corner giving away Section Two's presence, that didn't matter anymore. Scanning the barren grounds, I spotted exactly what I needed in the pile of rusted construction debris along the wooden fence.

Keiko started asking what I was doing, until she saw me grab the rusted, heavy steel pipe, swinging it once or twice like a baseball bat. "Call police," I snarled, causing the woman to shrink back, pulling her kids close to her. "A woman is being hurt."

"What.. you do?" she stuttered, her eyes widening in fear.

"What I do best," I hissed.

•••••••••••••

Since the old hinged door Ritsuko's apartment possessed was hollow and made of very thin plywood, it was easy enough to bust down. I was thankful now for all the noise, tables and chairs splintering on impact, because it gave me the perfect cover as I stalked into the bedroom. To my surprise, a pair of Section Two agents stood outside the entrance to the bedroom, while the figure in the black suit and shades leaned over Ritsuko, pinning her to the bed.

Regardless of the noise, the agent to my right must have heard me snarl, as he turned just in time to see the rusted steel pipe slam into his nose. The agent screamed out in pain, covering his bloodied face in his hands. The agent to my left turned and went for his pistol, only to drop to the floor when I brought my instrument of vengeance crashing across his throat. Adding a growl, I raised the pipe over my head, and swung it down against the man's skull, the skin and bone splattering the door frame. The man in the black suit rose from his hold on Ritsuko, now revealing the woman's clothes savagely torn from her body. I tried to avoid staring, and focused my gaze on the man. He was smart to remove the pistol and holster rig during his rape, since Ritsuko could easily have killed him if he were distracted. Now, however, it proved an unwise move.

I took my time kneeling to the ground, withdrawing the nearest agent's Jericho pistol, the barrel extended and threaded to accept a silencer. Having no other options available, the third agent pulled Ritsuko in front of him as a human shield. Akagi blushed at her nudity, her top and skirt missing some rather important components. She looked at me for just one moment, her eyes lifeless, dull. They seemed to say she was ready to die, like she was too ashamed to live. Just before I cocked the hammer and pulled the trigger, I spoke aloud. "Fill your hands!" The man stupidly went for his gun, although I had the advantage.

When the blood began to flow and the man's body toppled back, Ritsuko shuddered, pulling herself to the floor. I remember taking a deep, soothing breath the moment she forced her eyelids shut. I was glad, because I didn't like those eyes.

•••••••••••••

Misato seemed like the most reasonable person to call at a time like this. Glancing out the window, I watched the black van sit perfectly still. It was obvious now. These three agents were the only occupants. If there were others, they would have been on their way by now. I strode past the fallen bodies, and reached into the jacket of the third agent. I salvaged the tactical radio with the single earpiece. I found later it proved invaluable. Next came the other two agents, which I found had a stash of three high capacity magazines each for their Jericho pistols. Almost as if for convenience, one of the men was left-handed, his shoulder holster rig adjusted for a right side draw.

Pulling off the green jacket I insisted on wearing, I wrapped it around Ritsuko's shoulders and slipped on the right-handed man's shoulder holster, tucking the magazines in the synthetic magazine pockets. "Where is your phone?" I asked softly. Ritsuko just stared blankly at the doorway, the two agents' bodies staining the carpet with their blood. I gripped the doctor by her shoulders and shook her. "WHAT IS MISATO'S PHONE NUMBER?"

She gave me the information, stuttering and gasping while she recited it. "W-what are we... going to do?" Ritsuko gasped and stuttered. I moved back to the men one at a time, searching their pockets. In a moment, I found what I was looking for. I spun the keychain to the surveillance van around my index finger.

"Taking your car would be a dead giveaway," I answered.

Minutes later, I brought the van around through the empty lot, plowing through the wooden fence in the process. Whether the vehicle was armored or not, I couldn't allow Ritsuko to be seen, both for her safety and her modesty. She climbed in slowly, her limbs quaking as the adrenaline was depleted in her system. Leaving the engine running, I helped the doctor to one of the rear bench seats near the audio monitoring equipment, and pulled the seat belt across her shoulder, and slammed the sliding door.

"Do you... know how to drive?" Ritsuko asked.

I glanced back, fastening my seat belt in the right side driver's seat. I heard a knock at the left front window. Instinctively I leaned back into the seat in an attempt to shield my profile behind the passenger door frame, and drew one of the Jericho pistols from the stolen holster. Keiko drew back in fear, stumbling away from the van. I wish I could have explained to her what was going on, but as long as the van was parked, we were all easy targets.

•••••••••••••

Thankfully for me, the streets were almost barren as I drove as calmly and legally as I could manage. Given the fact I couldn't read any street signs and getting used to driving in the left lane of traffic was difficult, I asked Ritsuko to give directions. To make matters more difficult, I was fumbling with the doctor's cell phone. Now, I don't believe driving with a cell phone impairs driving, unless you're stupid enough to take all attention off the road. I've driven with a CB radio in my car for quite some time.

However, in a potential combat situation, driving in a foreign country to a place you've never been, and having to translate some basic phrases into Japanese while on the phone, it can be quite a pain. Of course, to my utter annoyance, the one person in the Katsuragi household who couldn't speak English answered the phone.

"Shinji, get Misato!" I growled.

I could hear the boy's voice cracking, the Third Child nervously stuttering on the other end. "Misato...ummm..." he blurted out in confusion. I could hear Shinji gasp as I clenched the phone tighter in my hand, the plastic casing cracking under my grip.

"Is Asuka there?" I asked. Again, there was an uncomfortable pause. This time, however, there was some shouting, followed by a heavy tread of footsteps, or rather stomps. Finally, I heard a voice I could immediately recognize.

"Allo?" the redhead asked in an attempt to sound sophisticated and European.

"This is the Fifth Child," I snarled. "Doctor Akagi has been assaulted by Section Two. We are en route to your location. Please inform Misato we're coming in hot, and armed to the teeth."

There was a long pause. "Is that you, Kensuke?" the girl shot back in anger. "Oh, so you learned English. It's about time, you stooge!"

"You _stupid_- GARH!" I shouted. "This is _real_, you stupid Kraut!" I heard some random obscenities in German, but before the girl could continue, I determined it was more important to just shut her up than reason with her. "Oh, I know! Why don't I prove it. Let's talk about how your mother hanged herself, and tried to hang a doll that she thought was yo-" The line went dead.

Somehow I knew I wasn't going to make many friends in this world.

End of Chapter VI

•••••••••••••

Yes, again, one of these days I will get to piloting the Eva. Somehow I just keep finding ways to put it off. However, as soon as I started writing this scene, I just had to draw it out. For the sake of consistency and keeping a minimum story length, I try to trim each chapter down to 20-24 kB in size. Hopefully it's not too long of a read. Most fanfics I read, I just skim through until I find a paragraph or two that catches my eye.

Any comments or suggestions, please post them as a review.

•••••••••••••


	7. Chapter VII: Thought Noise

I do not own the rights to Neon Genesis Evangelion, or any of the characters, equipment, or locations written in this fanfiction. The purpose of this fanfiction is merely for the non-profit enjoyment of other readers. If requested by Gainax, Hideki Anno, or other parties which represent aforementioned objects in this story, I will remove it promptly.

**Chapter VII:**

Asuka was not impressed. The bruises on my face and arms were obvious, and the stiffness in my movements did not help my first meeting with the Second Child. "_This_ is the person who you want to replace me?" the redhead screeched. "Earth to Misato, you're out of your mind!"

Katsuragi had only introduced me about 30 seconds beforehand as "Unit-02's stand-by pilot, the Fifth Child" as she helped drag Ritsuko into her bedroom. I stood patiently in the living room of the apartment, amazed how clean Shinji kept it. The boy in question stared at me, and when I glanced at him, just turned his head away nervously. "Just what the hell happened?" the major yelled while stomping into the room.

I threw the identification cards of the Section Two agents on to the coffee table near the sofa. "Three Section Two agents busted in to Ritsuko's apartment, and... raped her." Asuka stared, her eyes squinting, studying every detail. Shinji didn't understand what I was saying, but given the nature of Ritsuko's and my arrival, he seemed to understand well enough. Misato just ground her teeth and tensed up.

"It's all your fault!" the major snarled. "If you hadn't attacked the commander-!" In an instant, I was at Misato's throat, pushing the barrel of one of the confiscated Jericho pistols into her jaw. Both Children jumped, Shinji scrambling into the kitchen, and Asuka darting back to the opposite wall. While Shinji insisted on running for safety, however, Asuka was in a defensive stance, planning a counterattack.

"You listen, and understand you stupid wench!" I ground out, my jaw locked tightly as I spoke, head tilting back and forth. The latter mannerism, I have to admit, I picked up a year or two before from watching Escape from New York. "I will say this one last time. The commander threatened ME. He tried to kill ME. He's planning on raping and molesting ME. You got that, retard?"

"Then what the hell is Rits-?"

"This was 'discipline', to make sure Ritsuko stays loyal," I spat back. "Do you ever wonder why Ritsuko and Ritsuko's mother stuck with the commander in the first place? He's been using both mother and daughter as his playthings for years!" Misato began to shrank back, even more so when I began to twist the barrel against her skin and pulled the hammer back. I had never truly put the fear of God into someone before, but as they say, practice makes perfect. "Did you ever wonder why Rei is so loyal, too? Gendo is manipulating her as well, but only emotionally."

I heard Asuka take a step or two back, her knees beginning to quake. "What kind of freak show organization did you people get me into?" she screamed. Shinji was mumbling and screaming in Japanese, but apparently he had gotten the picture as the redhead started translating for him. I knew the Third Child understood when he punched the wall, leaving a fist-shaped crater in the sheet rock.

"You and Shinji are only involved because your mothers are trapped inside the Evas," I growled. Everyone's eyes went wide, though the reactions differed. Shinji didn't understand much, but he clearly understood "mother", "Eva", and put the two together in some logical form. "You had to have figured that out by now, Misato, after the whole incident with the Fourteenth? What about all the times Unit-01 tried to protect Shinji?"

For a moment, just a moment, I thought Misato would try to disarm me. Her body twitched and her eyes went wild, but it lasted for maybe a second or two. Then the cell phones of all the room's occupants rang at once. The air raid sirens followed, and looking out the window, I saw dark storm clouds rolling over the city. "Asuka," I growled. "I'm riding with you in Unit-02 on this one. Ask Shinji if his S-DAT player is waterproof. If the Angel is the one I think it is, you'll need music or some form of focus to block the Angel's mental attacks."

"H-how are you doing this?" Katsuragi whimpered. "You were proven wrong before! We can't just blindly trust your plan!"

I pulled the gun away from the major, slipped it back in the shoulder holster, and walked away. "No, you can't," I snarled. "That's why you're still the operations director."

Knocking on the bedroom door, I stepped inside to visit Ritsuko. She twitched and stared at me like a wild animal. Misato let her borrow a pair of jean shorts and one of the few clean t-shirts lying on the floor. "What... happens now?" she asked.

I had never had to deal with a situation like this before. However, I had a fair idea of what should be done. "You should stay here and be as invisible as possible," I said. Then an ingenious, yet very destructive thought raced through my mind. "Out of curiosity, what kind of life insurance policy do you have?"

•••••••••••••

I could hear the shouting over the tac-net on the entry plug's internal speakers. Though I couldn't understand what was being said, Asuka grudgingly served as my translator. "The commander doesn't want you anywhere near my Eva," she snickered. "He says you're too dangerous." I nodded, then tried to readjust my position.

Fitting two people in the entry plug is not as comfortable as is shown in "Asuka Strikes!" Neither, for that matter, is the plugsuit comfortable. The best way to describe it is like wearing a neoprene wetsuit crossed with an inflatable raft. Because I was just an inch or two taller and a few pounds heavier, Soryu had to sit in my lap, while my back and shoulders were jammed into the steel reinforced inclined plane of a seat.

Fortunately for me, my plugsuit had been injection molded and assembled the day after my measurements were taken with Maya. I was also glad, because the plugsuit had been made entirely black. While Asuka kept babbling how black is such an annoying color, I was quite pleased. Not only was it one of my favorite colors, but it distorted or hid most of my figure, much like camouflage breaking up the human form.

The one terrifying experience I had, though, was breathing L.C.L. The series doesn't give the challenge justice. Shinji simply starts breathing as though nothing is wrong on the first attempt. I suppose that is due to his apologetic, helpful nature. He lives to please others. However, I find the only fictional portrayal similar to the real struggle of breathing L.C.L. is in the movie The Abyss.

It was thirty seconds after the entire plug was filled that I nudged Asuka's shoulder. It was a struggle just to open my eyes at first, as I've never been able to defeat the instinctive reaction to close them under water. Asuka turned and glared at me in frustration. "What is your problem!" she grumbled.

This shocked me beyond all comprehension. Normally the voice is distorted in water, but in L.C.L., voices and radio traffic sounded very similar to it's frequency range in air. If I hadn't known the origins of L.C.L. deep within Terminal Dogma, I would have sworn this was another perfect example of brilliant engineering.

"Can-not... breathe!" I tried speaking. Soryu's eyes went wide. I heard it myself. With my lungs still full of air, my voice was distorted. The visual display in front of the redhead flickered to life, and I recognized Maya's voice, though she was speaking in Japanese again. Asuka shot me a look of worry, then an evil smirk as I felt something hard and solid drive into my gut. Apparently, the Second Child intended for me to breathe by knocking the wind out of me with an elbow strike.

I toppled over in the seat, and as much as I tried to prevent it, the sickening fluid entered my lungs. However, I ended up drinking more L.C.L. than I intended. Later when I exited the plug, the fluid no longer purified with an electric field, I wretched and spat all over the recovery catwalk. The first three or four breaths were the most difficult, but as I told myself Asuka was breathing just fine, and I wasn't drowning, it slowly came easier. "Are you ready yet, Fifth?" the German grumbled.

"Sorry," I answered. "How did you learn how to overcome the panic?"

Asuka simply broke eye contact, and focused on the primary display, nudging me in the shoulder with her offending elbow to sit up straight. Just as I was moving into position, she barked out something in Japanese, and I crumpled into the seat under the acceleration of the catapult.

•••••••••••••

The very moment the jarring impact of reaching the end of the catapult echoed through my spine, Asuka was already at the controls, pulling the heavy positron rifle into Unit-02's shoulder. I tried to stay focused, and for a few seconds, I did feel a hint of sensory input in my arms and legs, but then it vanished. A quick chirping and motorized hum alerted me to the targeting visor slipping over Asuka's head. "You're in the way, Fifth!" she grumbled. "You're not even registering a synch ratio! Don't tell me you're nervous!"

"Yes, I am," I answered.

"First time?" the girl asked teasingly with a feral smile.

I knew what she meant, and she was right. This was my first time ever near an Eva. Somehow I knew the Gundam universe would have been far more forgiving. I've had enough time behind the wheel of various cars, trucks, and even bulldozers to give me at least a minor advantage learning a wholly mechanical mech. An organic creature, however, like the Eva, depended on building a psychological bond. I realized now I was entirely screwed.

"No, I've been nervous lots of times."

Asuka growled and would have complained further had she not been busy trying to acquire a target lock. "Stupid Angel! Why doesn't it come down and fight?"

"It doesn't need to," I replied. "We're easily within it's attack range." As if on cue, the alarms began blaring, and a brilliant white light filled the entry plug. I didn't feel it until a few seconds afterward, the throbbing pain starting as a simple headache in the front of my skull. Then a sensation like wriggling tendrils crawling over my brain stung again and again. Random thoughts began to jump wildly in my mind's eye, like misaligned film in an old movie projector. Then I both heard and felt the screams.

Asuka rocked back and forth, her hands clinging to her scalp, knuckles turning white under the tension of her grip. "Asuka!" I shouted. The pain stung again, and for a moment I could have sworn I saw a body dangling limp from a noose. I had hoped I would be spared the pain, as I had such a low synch ratio. I was wrong.

"NO!" the redhead screamed. "No, I don't want to remember!"

"Asuka, what's Unit-02's status?" I shouted, easing the girl as best I could out of the pilot's seat. The girl resisted, and I felt the Eva rock back under the recoil of the positron weapon. Slowly, I wrapped my hands around the control yokes, and shoved them forward. The Eva simply shook and twitched as if it were having a seizure. "You have to tell me what to do!" I shouted again. "I don't know how to pilot yet!"

I knew what had to be done. Someone had to move Unit-02 back to the catapult for recovery. My brain felt like it was going to explode, and the thoughts from the Second Child's mind wouldn't stop. As much as I knew it was selfish of me, I hoped to God, or whatever the Angels call themselves, that my limited synch ratio kept my thoughts sealed from Asuka.

There is nothing good about what happened to Asuka, but to a degree, I felt like I had received a raw deal by being insulated from most of the Angel's effects. It sounds stupid, but I didn't want any special treatment, and that's precisely what this Angel was dishing out. I was spared while this girl, who out of the both of us deserved to enjoy the rest of her life more than I, was put through hell. I remember having one of those "parental sacrifice" kind of thoughts. I was the older one in the plug, and if I were my true gender, would be the most expendable of the two.

I started to get angry.

Asuka screamed again, and I remember tasting impure L.C.L., thinking about the taste. It tasted like a fresh kill, the reward of the successful predator. I thought about Ritsuko, and remembered my plan. For a moment, just a moment, I felt something click between myself and what I can only describe as the feeling of a presence in the plug. Again, watching the series was the only reason I could have lived as long and recklessly as I did in that alternate reality. I knew what that presence was, and if it was giving me the option to use the Eva, that's what I would do. Gripping the controls, I squeezed the right trigger wildly as the positron rifle kicked hard against the Eva. It took three shots until the rifle's "ammunition" was depleted, but with the scatter of those three shots, I managed to vaporize Ritsuko's apartment.

It seemed a stupid idea, but for all the commander and Section Two knew, those three agents had left Ritsuko in the apartment. The way she was acting after I brought her back to Misato's, I wouldn't be surprised if she would simply lie there and wait for the Angel to kill her. More importantly, with Gendo's personal experience with the doctor, he wouldn't be surprised of that, either. There was no evidence left behind to identify the casualties, and if I took the time after the attack to conveniently leave the black van to be stripped in a bad neighborhood, it would be next to impossible for NERV to ever discover the whereabouts of the three men.

"W-what... are you doing, baka?" Soryu grunted, still gripping the sides of her head.

"Are you going to tell me how to pilot this thing or not?" I snarled. "We can retreat, and-"

"NEVER!" the redhead screamed. "I will _never_ retreat!" I had to admire Asuka's courage, but courage would only get her so far.

"Then help me!" I snapped. There was a moment's hesitation, and then I felt the girl's hands wrap around my own, shoving the control yokes forward. I let out a sharp gasp as her fingers dug into my hands, but at least we were moving. "How do I talk to Misato?"

Once we reached a steady run, the sensory inputs began to flood my arms and legs. "Here," Asuka pointed with her right hand, leaving me to steer the mammoth construct. The small keypad built into the right control yoke had six buttons, all illuminated in an orange glow. For a few moments, the Angel's hold of our minds eased, but once it started tracking the Eva's movement, the full effects of it's attack continued. Asuka and I screamed out again in pain, this time simultaneously. The Second Child writhed, smacking her head against mine during her spasms. The flashes of memory came back, and the Eva ground to a halt.

Pressing the keypad randomly, I eventually hit the proper controls to call someone. Unfortunately, my luck hadn't gotten any better in the Eva universe. A visual display of Shinji appeared, and while he shouted and screamed, he didn't do much more than that. "RELAY... WORDS!" I shouted slowly and clearly. The young Ikari paused for a moment, his eyes blinking. It took a moment or two for him to grasp what I was saying, and realize what I wanted him to do. Of the entire time during the battle with the Fifteenth, those seconds which passed felt like an eternity. The Angel was simply an obstacle that had to be overcome, but Shinji, as any other human, was just a pathetic, stubborn animal who would actively tune out anything you said, and do exactly the opposite of what you wanted.

"REI... USE LANCE OF LONGINUS!"

Shinji blinked, but understood well enough to transmit the order. I waited impatiently as I heard grumbling, shouting, and arguing as the tac-net's responses flooded the entry plug. The first voice I heard was Misato's, then the commander's, followed by Fuyutsuki. "What are you talking about?" I heard Misato shriek.

"Use the lance!" I shot back. "The commander knows it's the only way to stop the Angel!"

I heard a few protests, then the booming voice of the Rokubungi. "Alright," Misato growled. "Now get out of there!"

"NO!" Asuka screamed, the girl throwing her arms back at the control yokes. But the Eva did not move. For some reason, however, when I put a slight pressure on the controls, the creature responded immediately.

"Asuka, we don't have time for this!" I snapped. Fortunately, Maya had helped me climb into the Eva a few minutes before the redhead. While I wasn't given enough of a briefing on the various subsystems, Ibuki did at least teach me some basic emergency procedures. This included, to Asuka's disgust, the codes to jettison the entry plug.

"Can Maya cut the neural connections yet?" I asked. Misato shook her head. We were still exposed to the Angel's mental probing, and while I didn't offer much resistance, the mental stress began to overtake my ability to reason. My temper started to flare again, which blocked any form of rational thought. I smacked the control yokes hard, sending the Eva dashing head-first into a nearby skyscraper. Both Soryu and I gripped our heads from the trauma as the Eva fell to it's back.

My head throbbed, but it was from the sensory input from the Eva, not the Angel. The impact must have stunned the orbiting being into releasing it's mental hold on us to avoid more injury. There were only a few seconds left. "It's done!" the major shouted. "Your connections are cut! Get out of there!"

"With pleasure!" I replied, gripping the red emergency handle above my head. The arming switches for the entry plug's explosive bolts were all engaged. I had made sure of that before Unit-02 launched, as I was told by Maya was standard operating procedure. Asuka, as the lieutenant told me, however, had a habit of ignoring these protocols. I didn't believe it at first, but after living through the Fifteenth Angel, I knew I was wrong. Asuka truly was willing to sacrifice herself for her pride, and it scared me.

The handle required a significant amount of force. Once it swung down at a ninety degree angle, I was rewarded with the sound of explosive concussions and the roar of solid fuel rockets as my vision faded to red, then black.

End of Chapter VII

•••••••••••••

Finally! It was about time to get to this part of the story. Believe it or not, I'm considering branching out to Naruto fanfics next. Maybe I'll get back to working on "Remission", but this and the latest project are becoming addicting.

•••••••••••••


	8. Chapter VIII: Confounding Variables

I do not own the rights to Neon Genesis Evangelion, or any of the characters, equipment, or locations written in this fanfiction. The purpose of this fanfiction is merely for the non-profit enjoyment of other readers. If requested by Gainax, Hideki Anno, or other parties which represent aforementioned objects in this story, I will remove it promptly.

**Chapter VII:**

I leaned over the catwalk of the cages and wretched, the impure L.C.L. I swallowed before turning back to it's thick, copper qualities in my stomach after the entry plug's power disengaged. Misato rushed down the platform, but was held back by technicians in orange biohazard suits. One approached from behind, and helped me stand. "You... alright?" the familiar woman's voice asked. It was distorted through the one-way respirator, much like a fast food P.A. system for drive-thru orders, but that gentle, soothing tone could only belong to one technician.

"I hate L.C.L., Ms. Ibuki," I grumbled. Maya ran her gloved hands slowly over my back, trying to comfort me as the air slowly replaced the orange liquid. It felt odd, but I was getting used to the lieutenant's company. I've never been much for human contact, but it didn't hurt, especially on occasions like this. Then she slipped an adapter jack into a port on the back of my plugsuit. "What is that?" I asked.

Maya looked up from the specially sealed handheld computer. "Umm... heartbeat... temperature..." she began, fumbling with the words. Then I nodded my head in understanding. The bulky packs on the plugsuits not only help regulate suit coolant and interface with the various digital displays to give valuable data to the Magi during synchronization, but monitor the vital signs of the pilot for up to an hour on their own internal batteries. This makes diagnosis and treatment while on the way to I.C.U. or emergency surgery far easier for a wounded pilot and the medics. "You are... okay," she smiled faintly, a hint of sadness in her eyes.

"And Asuka?" I asked. The redhead in question was just being pulled forcibly from the plug, her limbs thrusting out, assaulting the technicians. "One day of quarantine, am I right?" Maya nodded. Her reactions to my knowledge of future events was fading. She wanted to know the mechanism, of course, just as I wanted to know the mechanism of my arrival, but for now belief without reason would suffice.

"You bitch!" the Second Child screamed at the top her lungs, the echoes in the cage striking my eardrums with unnecessary force. "What did you do that for? I lost to Wondergirl because of you!"

I must explain for my own defense, while I had never been in a fight before, I had just grown sick of this alternate world. Here in this dimension, while I was disgusted with everyone I met, I wouldn't use force to settle an argument. I believe violence has a time and place for use to claim decisive victory.

It is not wrong to want to crush one's enemies. There will always be people that will take what you need unjustly, and when reason fails, violence must be used as punishment. But regardless of my hawkish views, the world after Second Impact seemed to rely on it, almost feeding on it. Even in Class 2-A, which I later attended, tension, frustration, hate, and helplessness constantly hung in the air. There was suffering everywhere I looked, and regardless of how many resources and space was available for the smaller global population, even the smallest family units were filled with a constant, unending rage.

Thinking back about how many times I had to kill, how many times I had to hurt others, and how many times I had to betray those I had sworn allegiance to, my actions were excessive. I know my use of force was justified against Ritsuko's attackers and against Gendo, but what about Misato? I threatened to kill a woman that, while blaming me as the cause of NERV's true nature rather than her first awareness of it, would not harm a pilot that could ease the burden on Shinji. I decided after the quarantine I would straighten the whole mess out. I was not going to fall to the Post-Impact level of "civility".

But first came the Second Child. "It's not my fault, Asuka," I snapped. "It was an Angel the Evas could not kill easily. Even Rei couldn't kill it without the lance." I walked up to the German girl, immediately receiving an uppercut to my jaw. Confirming my fears, I both heard and felt a popping along my lower gumline. The stitches which had just been sewn into my jaw broke loose, and I felt the teeth rattle in my head. I snarled as viciously as I could, spitting blood as I mumbled incoherently. Eventually, I just resorted to flipping the girl the bird, hoping she had enough international experience to understand that expression.

Maya returned to my side, helping me walk to a temporary stool set up on the catwalk. Soryu and I were going to be stuck there in the makeshift quarantine zone for twenty-four hours, and now that all the repair work on my teeth had been sacrificed, I was certain I wouldn't be able to eat. It was going to be a lousy day.

•••••••••••••

I yawned, dabbing my lips and along my gums with a handkerchief to soak up the blood. Glancing at the white fabric, portions stained brown from the wounds, it appeared the blood flow was slowing. Asuka glared up at me from her chair on the opposite end of the catwalk. She was a good three to four hundred feet away, so her face and figure were nothing but a red blur due to my poor eyesight, though I could still tell she was focused on my eyes. I knew, because I could hear her growling.

I was about to speak to her, but the pain in my jaw reminded me speech was something I could not afford. Glancing down at the chronometer built into the left wrist of my plugsuit, I noted the time. It had been two hours since the quarantine started. Asuka and I had twenty two more hours in the cage, Unit-02 standing next to us. More importantly, I had twenty two more hours before I could shower, get dressed, and get to the orthodontist for immediate surgery.

Maya had been nice enough to leave some bottled water and a bucket, so I might rinse the blood out of my mouth. Though I was getting too tired to stay awake. My jaw hurt, my face hurt, even my arms and legs hurt. I was so exhausted I nearly missed Soryu shouting at me. "Hey, I'm talking to you, Fifth!" she shouted.

"Canth tohk," I mumbled, trying to hold my jaw as still as possible. I heard some clanging and a few sharp, Germanic curses as the redhead stomped toward me. I shook my head in an exhausted stupor. Asuka was closer now, maybe fifty feet from me, her fists clenched. I just closed my eyes, and dabbed at my gums once again with the cloth.

"Answer me!" Asuka screamed. I opened my eyes. The girl was standing in front of me, leaning her head towards mine. I pointed to my mouth, opening my jaw slowly, painfully. I noticed the girl's eyes widen for a split second, the realization striking her that she had inflicted that damage. However, what little conscience the girl seemed to have didn't stay for long. "I said talk, you stupid-"

"I canth tohk behkuzth of yooth!" I replied, my spit and blood splattering the girl's face. For the first time since I met her, I cringed as Asuka drew her fist back, aiming at my face again. "Shtoph!" I yelped, bringing my hands up to protect my face. But the Second Child continued, her fist lunging forward in a reverse punch. Blocking her strike with my forearms, I redirected her fist into the steel railing of the catwalk. I heard a light snap, and suddenly the redhead let out a scream. "You bit-!" she began, but was cut off as I stood, turned my right hip towards her, and drove the edge of my foot into the girl's solar plexus in a perfect side kick.

Taking a moment or two to enjoy the silence as Asuka gasped for air, I slowly stumbled to the locked hatch at the end of the catwalk, and keyed the intercom. Maya immediately answered, her image behind the terminal on the command deck filling the video screen. "Is there... problem?" I stepped aside of the intercom, and pointed to the redhead rolling on the catwalk, grabbing her right hand and stomach.

"Schee athakehd mhee!" I grumbled. I could see Ibuki's startled, confused look. She didn't understand what I was saying, but when she heard Asuka's screams and groans, I think she understood well enough.

"I will... send doctors..." she replied. I smiled, and replied with a distorted "thank you". Leaning my back against the wall near the hatch, I slid down into a sitting position, stuffed the handkerchief in my mouth to absorb the blood, and rested my head into my knees. That was, by far, the most refreshing, uninterrupted nap I had.

•••••••••••••

The jabbing pain between my left ribs wouldn't stop. Reluctantly, I pried my eyelids open and craned my neck to the left. "We're leaving, Fifth!" Asuka snapped impatiently. Standing to my feet, I swayed slightly. Maya was there in the orange biohazard suit again, but the helmet was removed. "Quarantine is over," the redhead continued. I nodded, pulled the handkerchief out of my mouth, which had now been completely stained crimson, and stumbled slowly to the hospital. I wasn't going to wait any longer. If the orthodontists had a problem with the L.C.L. and my body odor from wearing a plugsuit for over a day, they'd have to deal with it.

The surgery was fairly quick, only lasting an hour, but with my recently broken nose and bruises, I had a long way to go before I was presentable again. Maya escorted me back to the showers and locker room, recommending some make-up to conceal the injuries. "Thank you, but no," I answered. "I do not know how to use make-up."

As expected, Asuka had already showered and left the locker rooms, but I had been told by Misato she would escort me back to the apartment. Maya asked if anything was wrong. "Where is Asuka?" I replied.

"She... went home," Ibuki answered.

I sighed, drew my right hand down my face in frustration, and asked "May I have a street map?"

•••••••••••••

It was a long, slow walk to the apartment. The sun began to set, leaving a brilliant orange stain in the sky. Those were the kind of sunsets I love to watch, the kind where the clouds overhead turn purple and dark gray from the contrast in lighting. The clothes Ritsuko and I had just bought were gone now, destroyed with her car, her apartment, and a ten square block area around the city which I vaporized with the positron rifle. Therefore, I was back to my red polo shirt, men's jeans, and black sneakers.

This led me to consider the situation as I glanced down at the map I held out in my hands, folded to a quarter of it's full size. I was stuck living with the now officially deceased Ritsuko Akagi, most likely in Misato's apartment until we could figure out how to create a new identity for the doctor. I was stuck in an alternate dimension based on an anime which leads to the destruction of all human life, and I was hated by the main characters, who, with my knowledge of future events, were the only ones that could prevent Seele's attempted monkeying with human evolution.

Finally, I was, for lack of a better description, an illegitimate child of both Yui's and my genetics, conceived through Unit-01, and my soul trapped in this new body. I had no way to get back home, I couldn't speak the national language, and I pretty much threatened to kill Misato, the only other woman who could help me. The other pilots disliked me, and with Gendo watching my every move, it was unlikely I would be trusted.

It was nearly an hour before I saw the familiar apartment complex only two blocks away. By then the sun was dropping below the mountains rapidly, the shadows enveloping the valley in darkness. Street lamps and building lights flickered slowly to life. The temperature grew cold very quickly, and the surrounding streets went dead silent except for the crickets.

Now, I'm not really afraid of the dark, but there are some places at night I won't go unless I have at least a knife on me. I'm fine driving down busy city streets and walking down sidewalks in fairly quiet neighborhoods at night. However, whenever I'm out in the woods or driving down a very dark, very quiet country road that's far enough from civilization, that's when my hairs stand up on end. It's out in those places, when there's no one you can call for help if something happens to you, be it an assault or just a hiking accident, that makes me think twice about sticking around after dark. Tokyo-3, regardless of being in the middle of a residential sector just at the very moment of sunset, had that effect.

I took slow, deep breaths, and quickened my pace. Every once in a while, I thought I could hear the sound of footsteps. I knew Section Two was following me, but just what orders they were given regarding me, and how much my ability to detect them in the growing darkness was hindered made me wish I hadn't left those Jericho pistols at the apartment.

Crossing the streets, there was no traffic, not even the hint of road noise from distant cars. The complex door was unlocked, thankfully, as I didn't know the passcode for the digital keypad mounted to the right of the doorframe. Then, just as I pulled on the handle to the right-most of the double doors, the sound of footsteps returned. They were close now, maybe twenty feet away and closing. Jerking the door open as quickly as possible, I threw myself into the building, and turned to see a thin, fairly attractive girl with brunette hair in pig tails and dark brown eyes staring at me.

Hikari Horaki, dressed in the sea green uniform jumper of Tokyo-3 Junior High stared back, eyes wide in fear as I lowered my hands from a defensive posture, fists clenched tight.

•••••••••••••

Misato opened the door with a panicked expression. "Where were you?" she asked, her voice trembling. "You were supposed to come home with Asuka!" Nodding towards the class representative, I watched the major switch to the role of warm, comforting family friend. Horaki and Katsuragi exchanged greetings, the major gesturing for the girl to enter. Once I stepped inside and left my shoes near the door, the operations director grabbed my arm, pulling me aside to the kitchen. "I'll ask one more time," she said. "Where were you?"

"Asuka left me to walk home on my own," I grumbled. "You know, I have a pretty good sense of direction, but I can't read Japanese. All these street names look identical to me." I handed the woman the map. "If it weren't for the fact you drove me to headquarters yesterday, I would have never known how to get here."

Misato scowled. "She told me you refused to go along with her."

"Let me guess," I began. "She's headed out with Hikari shopping and such, correct?" Misato nodded slowly. "Well, let her, for now. I'm feeling generous tonight, and I have to figure my way around here sooner or later." In reality, I had gotten a taste of the mental trauma Soryu had suffered during the last sortie. As much as she deserved it, I had promised to square things with the major and the Children. Besides, she would need the class representative's company in the following weeks.

I scanned around the room. "By the way, we should keep Doctor Akagi out of sight while Hikari is here. Does anyone at NERV know she's here?"

Katsuragi guided me to her bedroom, the blonde in question sleeping soundly. "You destroyed her apartment," Misato stated flatly. "Why?"

"The commander would simply keep using her until she was no longer of value to him," I answered. "Once that happened, she would be executed to prevent the truth of Second Impact, NERV, and Eva's purpose from leaking. But now we have the advantage."

"Stop talking in riddles!" the major snapped. "What advantage? What are you talking about?"

"Misato, I destroyed her apartment on purpose. The Section Two agents I silenced, Ritsuko's car, and any evidence she is here has been destroyed. NERV will think she's dead. She has a clean slate now, and can start over." Now Katsuragi had caught on, her eyes wide in shock. "After what happened, she cannot return. It is too dangerous."

"Dangerous?" Misato asked, raising her eyebrow.

"Tell me, Major, what do you know about Terminal Dogma?"

End of Chapter VIII

•••••••••••••

Finally another update. This was by far the hardest chapter to write. I kept having the tendency to write some lame fight between Asuka and I (far more than there is present here), but it wouldn't work for the flow of the story.

•••••••••••••


	9. Chapter IX: Social Difficulties

I do not own the rights to Neon Genesis Evangelion, or any of the characters, equipment, or locations written in this fanfiction. The purpose of this fanfiction is merely for the non-profit enjoyment of other readers. If requested by Gainax, Hideki Anno, or other parties which represent aforementioned objects in this story, I will remove it promptly.

**Chapter IX:**

Misato was shocked to say the least. It was amusing watching the major just sit back in the living room sofa, completely frozen in silence as she slowly processed everything I had told her. This was not one of those moments when the character sweat-drops, their jaw hangs ridiculously unhinged, or their eyes are drawn wide as white ovals in the anime. This was real. The best way to describe her reaction is something along the lines of Robert DeNiro in Ronin, whenever he is staring at a situation preceding the action, knowing something is terribly wrong.

Hikari was there, too. While Katsuragi didn't want her to hear anything classified, she was forced to accept it, as the barrel of the Jericho pistol was aimed towards her chest. "I do not want to do this, but you leave me few options," I spoke quietly, my voice reverberating in a low, echoing grunt. "Hikari needs to know, and if you will not translate, I am certain Asuka will."

"You cannot do this!" the major snapped angrily. "Do you think Section Two will simply sit and wait? They know what you are doing."

I cocked the hammer of the pistol, and reached forward, taking Misato's beer from the table. "It will not help you process the information. Besides, I'm doing you a favor."

"How do you call this a favor?" the major huffed, turning her head away, staring off towards her bedroom. Ritsuko had started sobbing again, and Misato was tempted to comfort her friend. Of course, she knew I would shoot her before she could stand.

"I call it a favor," I started, "because if I drop my guard, and that's a very big if, you will need all your coordination to do it." The woman hated to admit it, but she didn't have to. She knew I was right. "You realize if you keep up this drinking habit of yours, your liver will not handle alcohol later on in life. Then again, I bet you would get a LOT of money if you turned in all those aluminum cans for recycling."

"What are you going to do about Ritsuko?"

"If you will contact the appropriate department of NERV headquarters, I wish to have an apartment of my own, in a residential zone with a high crime rate. Let us say, high enough Section Two will be a little weary to enter the area of operations? She will live with me, as was the arrangement beforehand, but no one except us will know she is alive." Deciding now would be a moment to show a sign of trust and kindness, I returned the pistol to the shoulder holster.

It was important, however, to negotiate from a position of strength. If for any moment Misato and the others thought I was weak, my negotiations would be seen as pleading. Hikari's shoulders drooped as she sighed deeply, the tension of the situation easing once the weapon had been put away.

"Are you serious?" Misato asked, her eyes glaring in anger.

"Quite serious," I answered. "I also must speak with Kensuke Aida and Toji Suzahara as soon as possible." At the mention of the Fourth Child's name, Hikari flinched, glancing at the floor. "Finally, I must have a meeting with the commander before I return to active duty."

Katsuragi scowled, but slowly gave in. "Alright," she answered. "I will make the arrangements, if only for Ritsuko." I rose to my feet, and gave as polite and coordinated a bow as possible, before sitting back down, and informing the two of the deadly secrets which could prevent the end of the world.

•••••••••••••

"Doctor Akagi?" I asked, walking into Misato's bedroom. The lights were off, but I knew she was in there. I could hear her breathing, and it wasn't the soft, peacefully resting kind. The erratic gasps for air, as well as the muffled sobs indicated she was quite awake. "Ritsuko, NERV thinks you are dead."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" she shot back angrily. The woman rose up from her prone position on the bed to meet my eyes. Taking a short breath, I sat on the opposite side of the bed, my back to the doctor. "Well," she demanded, "is it?"

"Rokubungi will not get to you any longer," I answered. Turning to face her, I stared angrily. "I will _personally_ see to it." Just thinking about Gendo "Ikari" made me want to crush him with Unit-02. There was nothing powerful or unique about him. He was just another punk that needed someone like Dirty Harry to ask the vital question.

Remembering the other pistol I had taken, I reached under the bed. Misato never did suspect I would be foolish enough to stash confiscated hardware in her own bedroom. That is why it was the perfect hiding place. Ejecting the magazine and racking the slide back to empty the chamber of the remaining live round, I handed the pistol to Ritsuko. "You know how to use one of these?" I asked.

Akagi nodded.

"Do you know the _proper_ way to use one of these?" I replied. Now the doctor shook her head. "I will teach you, but we need a secluded place to practice. More importantly, we need to invent your new identity." Standing to my feet, I turned the lights to the bedroom on. It was then I saw how badly Ritsuko had been attacked. The bruises over her face were the primary target, patches of her skin turning into purple swelling masses. The doctor's eyelids were swollen, and slight traces of blood had dried around her mouth. I must have reacted too visibly, as she cringed and hid her face.

"I must look awful," the doctor mumbled, burying her head into the pillow damp with her tears. As she crawled back into the bed, pulling her legs to her chest, I noticed the pistol creep slowly in her hands towards her face. Immediately I gripped the pistol's barrel, slipping the weapon out from between her fingers. Setting the Jericho on the nearby night stand, I sat beside the woman, resting my hand on her shoulder.

"You look fine," I whispered, trying to smile with my bruised, battered face. "Your injuries will heal with time." I couldn't honestly think of anything else to say. Ritsuko was suffering, Asuka was suffering, and I was fairly certain Shinji was suffering because he felt he couldn't do anything to help the people around him. I didn't mind being the strong one, but I could only take being strong for so many people. It was time to straighten this mess out. "Just wait here."

Walking out to the hallway, I could see a faint hint of light coming from Shinji's room, and the sound of his S-DAT's motor whirring indicated he was listening to whatever was on that tape of his. Approaching the major, I was informed Asuka chose to follow Shinji's example. Hikari was speaking to the major, and was just about to leave when I made my way to Asuka's bedroom door.

"Hey, Asuka, got a minute?" I called out. Knocking a couple times on the door just incase she didn't hear me, I was immediately greeted with cries of "go away", and "you little bitch!" As such, I responded the only way I knew how. I threw the door open, dislodging it from it's tracks, and stepped in to receive a barrage of insults.

"What part of 'go away' don't you understand?" the redhead screamed.

"I think both parts," I answered. Leaning against the wall next to Asuka's bedside, I avoided all eye contact, as the redhead was wearing only her white sleepshirt. However, once seeing the pistol I was carrying, she simply pulled the covers over her head.

"Why are you here?" she grumbled.

"Asuka, I am really sorry about what happened." There was no startled reaction from the redhead, but instead, Soryu pulled the covers tighter over her. "I thought I could prevent the attack from happening, but no one would believe me."

"Is that supposed to change anything?" she growled, beginning to sob. "That... Wondergirl saved me... I had to rely on _her_ to save me!"

"Asuka, it was nothing personal," I tried to reassure her. "Rei is the only one with that level of control with the Eva. She is also the only one who knows most of NERV's darker secrets." This seemed to get the girl's attention. "And before you start talking about how she receives special treatment, you should be aware just what kind of treatment that is." I sat on the bed, bracing myself for a swift kick to the face, but there was no violent response from the girl.

"Just what could she be that makes her so importa-"

"She's an Angel, Asuka," I interrupted. The Second Child immediately bolted, sitting up in her bed, eyes wide. Her cheeks were streaked with tears, but she didn't seem to care any longer. "The Angel, Adam, that awoke in Antarctica causing the Second Impact, wasn't the only Angel found there during the Katsuragi Expedition. There was another, similar being, called Lillith."

Asuka was listening intently now, her fists clenching the top edge of her blankets. "What if I told you the Sixth Angel that showed up during Unit-02's arrival was following an embryonic state of Adam, which Kaji was delivering to headquarters? You see, if an Angel comes in contact with Adam, that initiates Third Impact, which, I can assure you, is far more destructive than anything mankind has seen before."

"You're telling me Wondergirl is an Angel, and we _allow_ her to kill her own kind?"

"Not precisely," I replied. "Rei is a clone of Shinji's mother, who, as I mentioned before, was absorbed into Evangelion Unit-01." Soryu remembered how I loosely mentioned this beforehand, her mind presumably still cloudy from her assault. "You see, for the dummy plug system to work, simulated data and a false or echo of a human presence in the entry plug is required. Rei was created for that purpose, but the commander went one step further."

•••••••••••••

I saw quite a few different reactions from the girl as I continued the story. Most of the reactions, however, were of disgust and hate. "There is an old saying, Asuka," I said. "Perhaps you know it. It goes we have met the enemy..."

"And they are us," the girl breathed softly, her eyes dull, lifeless.

I nodded. "If Seele gets their way, every human being will die and be reabsorbed to form the Eighteenth Angel. If Gendo takes control, however, mankind will be saved extinction, only with Seele left behind to threaten the world again. Also, we can't say for certain Human Instrumentality will be prevented if the commander gets his way." I took a deep breath, and looked the girl straight in the eye, the first time I had done so during our conversation. "However, if we take control, we can set things right."

"Just why should I help you?" Asuka muttered, pulling her knees to her chest. She was crying again. "There's... nothing left for me to live for. Is that it? You're here to laugh at me, because I suffered more than you?" To me, there is nothing wrong with suicide, but there are wrong reasons for it. Hesitantly, I approached the girl. "Just... leave me alone!"

"If you do not want to help, that is fine," I answered softly. "However, I will have a hard time trying to talk to Shinji. You know he doesn't understand a word of English? Perhaps it's my pronunciation."

"So that's it?" the girl snapped, her tears falling faster. "I'm just a translator to you?"

"No, but I would appreciate the help. I only took this job because whether you recover or not, someone needs to stop the upcoming attack."

"You mean piloting Unit-02, is that it?" The German girl went quiet now, pulling her limbs closer, starting to rock slightly in an attempt to comfort her. "God, am I that worthless?" Shaking my head, I felt it was time to inform her of my intentions.

"No, you aren't worthless," I answered. "Your piloting ability is outstanding." Asuka started sobbing again. I knew how she felt. She was alone, and no matter how hard she tried, she was always surrounded by others who could do everything else better and faster than her. It sickened her, as it does me, when I am around others. Whispering into her ear, I felt it was time to set the record straight.

"Shinji is _nothing_ without Unit-01. He connects with it because no matter how hard he tries to keep others from getting close, Unit-01's soul, his mother's soul, knows him well enough to get past his emotional defenses. Yui's soul offers him comfort and a sense of belonging he cannot receive in the real world." I took a deep breath and stretched. I have to admit, I was starting to feel on the verge of tears myself. Watching these people suffer in the show was annoying, but in person, knowing they were real people, it was personal. However, when friends of mine are suffering, I don't get upset.

I get angry.

"You know, Shinji is a lot like you. He wants to feel he has some kind of value as a person, and attaches that value to the praise of others. You attach it to your piloting skill, at being the best, and getting praise for being the best. The difference between you is very slight."

"How can you possibly know anything about me?" the girl cried, her voice on the verge of a scream. "You don't know _anything_!"

"I know about the kiss you two shared, just to, how did you put it? Oh yes, you said it was to kill time, wasn't that it?" Thinking back on what I said, I suppose it served the purpose. Asuka was no longer depressed, but lunged at me, her hands around my throat. Gun or no gun, she was going to kill me unless I gave her what she wanted.

"JUST HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?" she snapped. She eased just enough pressure on my throat to let me speak. Lowering her voice to a hushed whisper, she spoke quite slowly. "You will tell me EVERYTHING, Fifth!" Her teeth gnashed between each other, like a pair of scissors being opened and closed menacingly.

"I... can't tell you if you are going to kill me!" I coughed, recovering from her attempted strangulation. Asuka nodded, but added that I had to make the explanation quick. She was clearly tired of these mind games I had been playing with her, regardless of the effects I had on Misato. "Alright, but you have to keep this secret, at least until the last Angel is defeated."

"Spill it, Fifth!" she snarled.

"What if I told you, where I come from, Second Impact never happened?" Immediately Asuka's breathing slowed, her eyes widening in interest, head tilted to the side as she studied me. "Also, what if I told you I was the... shall we say, a cosmic mistake resulting from Unit-01 and Shinji's... merging?"

"What are you talking about?" the girl hissed. "Don't answer me with more questions!"

"Asuka, I am supposed to be a male college student living in the United States, and it is supposed to be the year 2006. Second Impact never happened in my world, do you understand?"

"Your... world?"

"More importantly, a Japanese director named Hideki Anno produced a very controversial anime series in the year 1995. It is still considered very popular in my time, and there is even talk of it becoming a live action film." This was going to be it. Once Soryu knew this, everything would change, and whether she liked me or hated me, I would be badgered like some all-knowing priest for the answers to any problem that would arise down the road.

"That series is called Neon Genesis Evangelionand involves three Children piloting biological constructs against an enemy known only as Angels. Those Children are named Asuka, Rei, and Shinji."

Asuka's tears had slowly come to a stop.

End of Chapter IX

•••••••••••••

Yes, I just had to go and do it. The characters were asking for it, of course. Depending on what time I have available, the next couple chapters will be interesting.

•••••••••••••


	10. Chapter X: The First Normal Day

I do not own the rights to Neon Genesis Evangelion, or any of the characters, equipment, or locations written in this fanfiction. The purpose of this fanfiction is merely for the non-profit enjoyment of other readers. If requested by Gainax, Hideki Anno, or other parties which represent aforementioned objects in this story, I will remove it promptly.

**Chapter X:**

Amazingly, since my gender _was_ still technically male, although trapped in a female form, Misato preferred I sleep in Shinji's room. However, the shocked and blushing Ikari was told from that very point on what I was, and as soon as that happened, I saw him pale slightly. I didn't know which disgusted him more; the fact I was a man trapped in a girl's body, the fact I was genetically his half sister, or the fact he still kept staring at my goods.

The latter, as much as it annoyed me, was rather amusing. I was wearing the pair of khaki shorts and a plain t-shirt I had originally purchased with Maya. While the khaki shorts didn't show anything off, the white t-shirt made hiding my chest rather difficult, although there wasn't much to hide. Shinji would forget for just one moment what and who I was, stare at me, and just as I turned to face him again, he would grimace, trying to find something else to occupy his time. Seeing as the boy's hormones would never entirely be in check, a makeshift barrier made of a wool blanket suspended by a clothesline divided the room in half lengthwise. Shinji slept in the bed, while I just crashed on the floor, a few wool blankets and a pillow serving the purpose well enough.

For a time, Misato insisted I was given the bed, but I informed her I was the guest, and asked her to treat me as just another male. "And make sure Shinji remembers that," I urged. "If he makes any advances, I'm certain my girlfriend would be offended." At that, the major stirred uncomfortably where she stood, but then regained her composure. "It's still difficult to comprehend, isn't it?" I asked.

"Yes," Katsuragi answered flatly. "And I insist, regardless of who, or _what_ you are, you dress in the bathroom."

I nodded. "That is what I figured."

•••••••••••••

I can't remember how soundly I slept that night. Only the final nightmare in the early morning stayed fresh in my mind. Driving my old GTO around some familiar roads along Tokyo-3, the controls felt different in my hands. Looking at my reflection through the tachometer, Yui's face with my eyes greeted me. I snarled, and then heard the distinct sound of a European police siren from behind. Glancing back in the rearview mirror, I was chased by two Angels, and more importantly, a traffic cop on his BMW motorcycle, who informed me one of my tail lights was out. Pulling over to receive the ticket, the Angels tried advancing, but stopped as soon as I raised my voice.

"Don't you have any respect for the law?" I remembered shouting. Asuka, Rei, and Shinji were in the car, each complaining about one thing or another. The redhead simply laughed as I was handed the ticket, while Shinji focused on the Angels advancing, and for some peculiar reason, Rei just complained about the heat. The latter I could understand. The original vinyl interior of my first car, black of course, was miserable on summer days.

"Rei, quit whining!" I shouted. "If you keep that up, I'll toss you in the trunk the rest of the trip!" Immediately Ayanami closed her mouth and stared ahead blankly. Asuka and Shinji were another matter. "Asuka!" I screamed. "You think it's so funny, you can pay for gas!" Soryu's face soured.

"Angels!" Shinji whimpered from the front passenger seat. At that, I walked over to the passenger side, jerked the door open, and threw the Child out. Watching the Third and Fourteenth Angels tower above us, I just glared up at them. There was no way in hell I would let them put one scratch on my baby, regardless of how badly it needed paint.

"Shut up about the Angels!" I snapped. "It's your dad we have to worry about! You three want to complain, you can just walk to school! " Just then, to my complete horror, I saw the traffic cop on his motorcycle staring back at me, hands steepled on the handlebars, eyes hidden behind orange tinted lenses. "Right..."

Watching Rokubungi study me in the uniform as I made my way to the trunk of the car, I tried to explain. "I carry tools and spare parts with me all the time," I spoke, a slight whimper to my voice. "I think I should have a spare bulb in the trun-" Twisting the key in the trunk's lock, the sheet metal rose to reveal a naked, bound and gagged Misato. There was white powder all over the major, as well as sealed in large plastic bags. "Oh sweet Jesus!" I grumbled. "Misato, how many times do I have to tell you _not_ to borrow my car when you go out for the night? You wouldn't sell yourself or coke in a Jag! Don't do it in my car!"

I felt the weight of the blankets restrain me just as the dream ended with Gendo arresting me. "Give me back the keys!" I snapped. "I still need to advance the ignition timing!" The picture faded, and suddenly I saw Shinji staring down at me. I was lying on my side, all the muscles in my body screaming from exhaustion. As I slowed my heart rate, I heard footsteps out in the hall, and Misato knocking on the door very loudly.

"What are you doing?" she yelled. However, I presumed she had a theory as to what was happening, and made a mental note to to tell the woman "keep your mind out of the gutter until _after_ Episode 25!" The major threw the door open, finding Shinji leaning over me, the both of us still fully dressed. However, the fact I was flushed and panting did not help matters.

"Not what you... think..." I said in ragged breaths. "Stupid nightmare... which reminds me... when were the tires on your car rotated last?" Katsuragi froze in place, staring at me like I was out of my mind. I could tell she knew what I was saying as she shook her head and turned to leave, waving her hand as if to say "don't bother me anymore." "Come on!" I said. "What bolt pattern? Is it four or five? Nineteen millimeter lug nuts, right?"

"You... crazy," Shinji spoke in English. He sat on the floor about two feet from me, shaking his head in complete confusion.

"Yes, I am," I answered. Glancing at the clock, it was three in the morning. Then it hit me. "Shinji, how did you understand what I said?"

Shinji Ikari knelt beside me, shaking me from yet another dream. It had only been two hours since I had dozed off.

•••••••••••••

The rest of the night, if that's what it's considered, consisted of Shinji and I both lying on our respective sides of the room, wide awake. I knew he was awake, as the barrier fell off the clothesline at exactly twenty-six minutes past four. He stared directly at me, and I stared directly at him. It was about two hours later we both decided to give up, never accomplishing the goal of conversation nor sleep, and started the morning routine.

"Sorry," Ikari said without warning as I made my way to the door. It would figure that was the one word he knew particularly well in English. Looking back at the boy, I could see him blush. I shrugged my shoulders. While I didn't want him oogling me, I must admit any healthy young man is going to take a look or two. I was just on the receiving end for the first time, and Shinji, with his desire not to offend interfering with any social behavior he tried to put into practice, made the situation rather awkward. I made a mental note later on to teach him just how to take a glance or two without getting caught.

"Do not be," I answered. "No need." Shinji's English, I learned over the next few days, was rather weak, but he seemed to understand what I had said. Walking to the bathroom, I found Asuka already occupying it. The next forty-five minutes consisted of waiting for the girl to finish her shower. Feeling a presence behind me, I saw both Shinji and Misato still in pajamas glaring at the door. I waved Shinji to the head of the line. When Misato protested, I answered "Shinji is going to be faster."

"Then let me go after him!" she snapped.

"But you forget, Major," I grinned, pointing to myself. "Eva pilots have to be ready at a moment's notice. After I finally entered the shower, the Third Child, using only a small portion of the hot water and fifteen minutes of my time, I could hear growling and scratching at the door while I readied myself for the day. "That's not going to help, Misato!" I grumbled.

However, the growling and scratching continued for another thirty minutes as I showered, brushed my teeth, and dressed. Slipping on the new glasses, I took a look in the mirror. "Crap, I still haven't thought of a name yet."

•••••••••••••

Again I stopped by Misato's room, looking in on Doctor Akagi. The bruises had changed shades, some turning green and blue. The woman had been awake all night long, and just now in the safety of daylight felt sleep overcome her fear. I greeted Ritsuko as politely as possible, and asked her if she wanted anything for breakfast.

"I assume you know Misato cannot cook?" she asked.

"Yes, but I can at least make scrambled eggs, toast, and sausage, if you prefer to have an American meal today," I replied. This seemed to catch the doctor's attention. She knew Shinji could cook, but she never asked about my limited culinary skills. "If you want, I can even barbecue a pretty decent steak. Now that I think about it, I might ask Misato if I could cook tonight... if she has a barbecue grill."

Ritsuko smiled faintly. "Sounds... nice," she said, just before her face sank back to a frown. "You know, there is no residential area that Section Two will not risk entering. There is hardly any crime in Tokyo-3. Your plan will fail."

"Well, regardless, you have a chance to start over." Once I considered it, however, it would not be that easy. Any history, including the doctor's academic performance throughout college, would be attached to her old name. If there were some way to get the Japanese government to put her into a witness protection program, then maybe she would be alright. Though Seele would have to be destroyed, as they controlled the J.S.S.D.F. It would take cunning, but the solution was obvious.

I had to destroy Seele from it's very heart.

•••••••••••••

This time when I entered Gendo's office, four security guards stood around the man in a defensive perimeter. While not carrying any firearms, the old Section Two tactical batons and stun guns were intimidating enough. I shuddered the moment I recognized the batons, my skin crawling as if I were reliving the interrogation. At this, Rokubungi smiled. "So, is that why Yui loved you?" I asked. "She liked it rough and playing submissive?"

Immediately the commander frowned. "State your purpose and get out of my sight."

"I will pilot, but the price has to go up," I answered curtly. "The Second Child's skill may improve, but you still need a pilot on stand-by, especially since Rei will most likely commit suicide within the next couple weeks, if the timeline is anything like I-" Dropping a line that Rokubungi's tool to create his paradise would die like a casual story during dinner conversation did the trick. For a moment, however slight, the commander's face twitched into a snarl before resuming it's cold, calculating form.

"Extortion is out of the question, Fifth Child," he snapped.

"Only because you don't know what I could possibly offer, and if you dare threaten me, you get nothing." I smiled, watching the commander shift uncomfortably in his seat. Lowering his hands from their steepled pose, he kept them folded on the desk.

"What are you offering?"

Slowly I walked to the desk, the guards raising their batons and stun guns in anticipation. "I will keep my mouth shut about the Human Completion Project, Seele, your involvement in the Katsuragi Expedition, Rei Ayanami's creation, the human souls trapped in the Evangelion units, even that embryonic form of Adam you had surgically implanted in your hand to control Lillith," I began, watching Rokubungi shift in his seat again. It was quite enjoyable seeing an unnerved, paranoid Gendo glance back and forth about the room. "Like I was saying, I will simply keep my mouth shut about all those facts, keeping Major Katsuragi and the Children in the dark, and when half of my demands are met, then I will give you Seele's plans to stop you."

"I could kill you now, and the information would be secure," Gendo began. However, he was wrong, and the minute I shook my head, I could tell he knew something was wrong.

"Do you really think I am so stupid? I know what kind of person you are, what kind of people you employ, even your pathetic attempts to monitor your employees with Section Two. Do you know how easy it is for someone to slip into Terminal Dogma? Bypassing Section Two's regular monitoring is just a matter of timing-"

"Get to the point!" Gendo barked.

"In the event of my premature demise," I smiled, "a certain anonymous hacker will release all of this classified information to the Associated Press, Reuters, and pretty much every participating nation involved with NERV." Gendo began to laugh, but paid close attention when I spoke again. "Sure, your Seele Committee can easily crush the bureaucracies of the world's nations or claim it was some hoax, but I have also included a few pieces of concrete evidence to be hand delivered to an opposing force."

Now I was getting Gendo's attention. "What is your price? Perhaps I will humor you, if the cost is less than torturing you for your contacts."

"Two million dollars, U.S., in cash within forty minutes, and another two million after the remaining two Angels are destroyed. After the Sixteenth Angel is eliminated, there will be some down time before the next Angel attack. During that time, I want a commercial flight for both myself and a female companion to Sacramento International Airport, and a return flight exactly four days later. My female companion and I will need forged passports, international driver's licenses, and all necessary paperwork for aliases that will be provided to you in two days' time. Pictures will also be included of my companion and I in two days, so the forgeries can be made as accurate as possible."

Rokubungi laughed. "Do you really think I would let you escape?" Again I smiled, and mentioned if my demands were not met, another contact would kill Shinji, then Rei, and hide the bodies so as no soul transplant could be performed on one of the various Yui clones within Terminal Dogma. Once again, Gendo shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"By the way," I added, "those forged passports, driver's licenses and such need to appear as if they were made approximately one to two years ago." This was an important detail to the plan, and any instructor I have had during my time at college can tell the reader I am a very detail-oriented person.

"Is that all?" Ikari growled through clenched teeth. His face twisted in pure shock when I mentioned it was.

"By the way," I said, "did the initial psychological exam clear me to pilot, or should I wait another two week-"

"GET OUT!"

•••••••••••••

I took a slight detour to the optometrist's office in the private hospital. "Good news," Doctor Reynolds beamed. "For you, this one time offer of your own personal prescription NERV combat goggles." Taking his time to do the proper salesman schtick, he took great pleasure in showing me all of the features. "Water-tight, made entirely of composite materials with shatterproof, scratchproof lenses, anti-fog vents, and the strap I am particularly proud of." Holding up a pair of fake wooden A-10 neural connectors, he showed me how they clipped on simply to fabricated grooves in the plastic headband.

"Very impressive," I smiled. "I appreciate all the trouble, but what do I owe you?"

"Like I said," Reynolds grinned, "no charge."

"I appreciate everything you have done."

Precisely thirty-seven minutes and twenty-one seconds later, two large stainless steel briefcases were delivered to me by one of the Section Two agents from the prior interrogation just outside of the women's locker rooms. Dressed in my black plugsuit from before. The NERV logo was stamped on them, as well as a plastic security tag riveted to each case, which I was told, ensured any NERV host country would not bother x-raying or opening the checked baggage. That, I reminded myself, was something I would have to hang on to after I dealt with my newfound wealth.

"What... is that?" I heard Maya ask as I hauled my precious cargo with me to Cage Three, the resting place of Unit-02.

"I don't remember," I answered, grinning. "Could you.. hold on to these, until after?" Maya nodded hesitantly, and caught a few stares from other personnel as she made her way to the control room.

Today was supposed to be a true synchronization test using Unit-02, fresh from it's extensive quarantine and debugging. As I expected, Asuka was there, but rather than share the entry plug as before, each of us would take turns. "Feel any pressure, Fifth?"

"Yeah, about fifteen pounds at sea level," I answered, quoting Blue Thunder.

Apparently, Asuka didn't get the reference, but she understood the joke. "Ha ha, very funny!" Climbing back into the entry plug caused all the hairs on my arms to stand up on end, and flashes of memories. Shaking my head as if I were stretching, I tried clearing the thoughts. pulled the goggles on to rest over my forehead, and gave a thumbs-up to the control room. Asuka just laughed, but I shrugged it off. If I knew how to work the communications system, I would have used that, but the thumbs-up also served to show I was okay, whether or not I was vomiting L.C.L. all over the catwalk.

The hatch above me sealed, and I could hear air hiss out of the plug while the dreaded orange fluid was pumped in as a substitute. To calm myself, I once again showed my nerdy side, by reciting more annoying quotes. "And once again, we play our dangerous game," I started in my best Sean Connery impression. "A game of chess against our old adversary, the American Navy."

As stupid as it sounds, quoting The Hunt for Red October, or reciting dialogue of any kind truly did help when I began to breathe L.C.L. By forcing all attention on the dialogue, the L.C.L. would eventually fill the plug before I had to take a breath at the end of a sentence. The first few breaths felt unnatural and I began to gag, but I forced myself to exhale the L.C.L. while reciting my lines. "For forty years, your fathers and brothers played this game, and played it well. But now we have the advantage."

End of Chapter X

•••••••••••••

For those wondering, yes, I have started a Naruto fanfic, and I will eventually get to finishing "Remission". However, this story takes priority, as it is the most entertaining project I have undertaken so far. Also, for those fans of Blue Thunder(1983), watch the new hat a certain classmate of Shinji's will receive in the next chapter.

•••••••••••••


	11. Chapter XI: Roommates and Accomplices

I do not own the rights to Neon Genesis Evangelion, or any of the characters, equipment, or locations written in this fanfiction. The purpose of this fanfiction is merely for the non-profit enjoyment of other readers. If requested by Gainax, Hideki Anno, or other parties which represent aforementioned objects in this story, I will remove it promptly.

**Chapter XI:**

The synch test had proceeded well enough. While I had no training, I was approaching forty percent at an accelerated pace, perhaps because I tried direct communication with the Eva. While the aura of Kyoko Soryu's soul felt unfamiliar and disturbing at times, I had an overall sense of warmth whenever I let my mind drift. However, my synch ratio would drop whenever I began to recite dialogue from Star Trek. Apparently Doctor Soryu did not appreciate "City on the Edge of Forever, and neither did her daughter.

"What are you talking about?" Asuka snapped as I exited the plug, the feeling of nausea gone after several attempts to evacuate the L.C.L. from my lungs.

"A question," I replied. "Since before your sun burned hot in space, and before your race was born, I have awaited a question." I realized now if I ever had the horror of merging with the Sixteenth Angel, it would prove worth the risk of biological contamination just to drive the creature insane with my impression of the Guardian of Forever. As it was, the echoes in Cage Three were perfect for this role. "Now only if I could teach Rei the lines," I muttered to myself. "It would be far more suiting for her to say them."

"Where are you going now, Fifth?" Asuka snapped.

I came to a halt halfway down the catwalk and turned to face Asuka again. "Asuka, I have a question," I began. When the girl nodded and urged me to continue, I realized how bizarre my query would sound. "What should I choose for a name?"

"You mean you don't even have a _name_?" Asuka exclaimed.

"Well, my old name wouldn't work, as I'm supposed to be dead." Soryu grimaced, and glanced back at Unit-02. When the redhead shivered for a moment, I followed her gaze. Unit-02 seemed to have moved slightly in the restraints, but it was hardly noticeable. The head was tilted a degree or two in our direction, but still gave the illusion of remaining still. "What's wrong?"

"Eyes are playing tricks on me," Asuka grumbled, wiping down her face with her right hand. "Thought I saw it move. But you were saying?"

"I am dead in this world, Asuka," I answered. "If I use my real name and Social Security number, government agencies are going to start asking questions. I need a new identity. You have experience with the Japanese culture, and since you and I are half-European, I was wondering what you thought would be suitable."

The Second Child seemed to smile, particularly because I was appealing to her superiority in these cultural issues. "Pick a Japanese first name, and use a European surname," she answered. "The first name will be easier for socializing when you come to school, _if_ you come to school."

"I appreciate the advice," I replied, smiling. Hearing the public address speakers pop once and twice, both of us looked up to the control room. Maya nodded towards Asuka, signaling for her to synch next. There was a look of concern but stern duty in Ibuki's eyes, and for a moment, when I glanced back at Asuka, the girl's head was lowered. "Listen," I began. "About Unit-02..."

"Don't tell me anything!" she snapped. "You're the one with less experience!"

"I don't mean to offend, but seriously, the Eva does want to protect you. You simply must relax, and let down your guard."

"This coming from the one who nearly suffocated in the plug?"

I sighed. "Look, just because I have a few nervous reflexes doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about. What I told you and Shinji was true. The Eva responds best when the pilot wants to be open with it."

Asuka turned and snarled. She was going to reach out with her right hand level with my face, but retracted it, and simply held it out, offering a handshake. "Alright... truce?"

I shook her hand in return. "Truce."

•••••••••••••

The new apartment was identical to Rei's, being located in the same, vacant complex. Ayanami was two floors below me, and in the center of the level, while my apartment was located at the far corner. While it was a security risk having windows to the east and the south, the benefit of a fully enclosed fire escape stairwell would surely prevent small weapons fire from killing me. The concrete was old and stained, but speaking with the landlord, he offered to take off any leasehold improvements from the monthly rent if I repaired them myself. Any contractors he had come in to repair problems with the apartments had all left, the risk of a war zone and limited tenants proving too high a cost.

Hikari had come over with Kensuke to Katsuragi's apartment just thirty minutes before, catching me load what clothing and few personal possessions I had into the trunk of the major's car. Along with these were the two stainless steel briefcases. Misato took me aside for a moment after introducing Kensuke.

"Alright, what are in the cases?" she asked in a deep sigh.

"I do not remember," I answered, smiling. "Neither does Section Two, if you catch my drift. But do not worry. They are not harmful." Misato nodded coyly, and refused to mention any more about the curious packages in her vehicle. "Kensuke... do you... speak English?"

To my convenience, Kensuke had developed a fair vocabulary of English, not just from his class lessons, but also from his military studies. "I had this made for you." I handed the boy a black baseball cap, with blocked lettering stitched into the front.

"What is... J.A.F.O.?" Aida asked, completely confused.

It was hard to keep a straight face, but I managed to hold in my laughter as I explained. "It is the best way to describe you," I smiled. "Consider it an honorary position amongst us pilots." Kensuke's face lit up in excitement, and he immediately put on the cap, snapping me a salute. I saluted in return, and took the boy aside. "How would you like to help me with some... military matters?"

"REALLY?" the nerd's voice carried through the apartment complex. Watching Hikari, Asuka, and Shinji just grimace, I nodded.

"Meet me at my apartment at sixteen-hundred hours, Mr. Aida, and we shall proceed with planning the logistics. Bring _all_ of your equipment."

•••••••••••••

With the packages on my doorstep, all of the preparations were in order. The one Jericho pistol and remaining two full magazines seemed to be enough. All my intelligence gathering during my time within headquarters and during shopping for the necessities of my new home indicated while crime was limited in the fortress city, the black market was booming. So many people working with various connections to NERV, all with financial crises to settle made for a perfect breeding ground for the hardware I required. It would be more expensive to purchase them in Japan, but the black market in America was far less courteous and far more violent. The culture of Tokyo-3's illegal trade was more of a professional atmosphere, merchants simply wanting to please their customers and make a profit.

"Where are we going?" Kensuke asked as we strolled down the street towards the run-down industrial district. I had insisted Aida leave his camcorder behind at my apartment, but he also bring his soft air weapons. "This area is still occupied. We could get in trouble for playing-"

"We are not playing, Kensuke," I spoke in a serious tone. "This is real. The weapons will be real. Whatever happens, you are my local translator and contact, while I am the foreign mercenary." I could see the boy shudder, and for a moment, I thought he was going to piss himself. "Just.. take it very slow, very calm, and no sudden movements. If they ask for identification, ask for theirs."

I could see the boy pale, particularly when he tried to take a look at my chest, and noticed the shoulder holster with the very realistic Jericho pistol. Kensuke nearly stopped in his tracks, but I needed him. Asuka could not be trusted, as she would inform the others, as would Shinji. I considered taking Ritsuko along for this, but it was still too risky for her to be identified. Her impromptu funeral was already held, a marker placed next to her mother's in Tokyo-2. She was also still shaken from her attack only two days before, and unskilled with weapons.

"Kensuke, please," I begged. "This is not going to be easy, but it has to be done." It was difficult, but regardless of my masculinity, my physical form indicated I was female, and settling on the story I was Shinji's half-sister, Aida was very interested in me. As such, I knew exactly how to motivate him. Taking his left hand into mine, I looked into his eyes, and urged him along. "It will be over soon, and once this is over, we can go out for dinner, my treat."

The pale skin of my companion was replaced immediately by a blush, and while the fear was still present, the chances of a friendship with a girl, the first relationship of that kind for him, would keep him going until we were sure no conflict would result from our encounter.

Dark figures scurried about the claustrophobic, ruined alleys, large boxes of various sizes, painted olive drab green with yellow lettering lined the brick walls of the industrial buildings. It would figure most of the hardware I would get my hands on would be obsolete U.S. and newer J.S.S.D.F. inventory, all slowly, cautiously removed from their warehouses by patient hands. Then I encountered a few crates with unfamiliar markings, all painted in red. At once I recognized the English translation of "Norinco", and knew we had hit the jackpot.

"Remember," I told Kensuke, my whispered English grabbing the attention of several of the "merchants", their bodies hidden in black overcoats, stalker caps, and other dark winter attire. It was a cold night, but the clothing served more for camouflage during routine military patrols. "We are looking for Soviet and U.S., but the Chinese make excellent parts for the Kalishnikov."

Suddenly a man walked up to us, a cylindrical object protruding from his overcoat pocket. The weapon was silenced, and if he knew what he was doing, the ammunition would be sub-sonic, so as to give as quiet a report as possible. Once he came to a stop, I nodded to Kensuke.

•••••••••••••

I had gone out earlier and deposited some of the money in various banks throughout Tokyo-3, all in amounts equivalent to a year of tuition for a foreign exchange student studying in a private school. There were no questions raised, as this practice was becoming far more common with the rest of the world still trying to regain it's previous level of stability. Some I had taken out in cash, dragging Kensuke along for some improvised shopping.

We were dressed similarly to the merchants and the man who had approached us, long, black coats covering our dark but semi-formal wear, leather gloves and stalker caps keeping any prints or hairs from giving away our identity. Now we pulled the sides of our coats out, showing our arms, some fake, some real. A stop to a sporting goods store on the edge of town for a soft air dummy rifle, a little black spray paint, and an improvised strap gave Kensuke the perfect sawed off shotgun, while my Jericho and the folding knife I had purchased earlier today backed up the illusion of defense.

The man spoke in Japanese, and slowly, very delicately, Kensuke reached into one of his pockets for the list. I had dictated the necessary hardware, so it would be written in Japanese. If I was going to get caught, I wanted to blend in as much as possible with the civilians, even though my cover clearly indicated I was a foreigner. A few more exchanges between Kensuke and the man, then he turned to me.

"Aren't you too young for these kind of purchases?" the man asked, his voice raspy. "Go home and play with your dolls."

"My expertise and this should prove otherwise," I answered. Setting out the silver case, the NERV tag long since removed, the man lifted it by the handle, shaking it. To do so, of course, he had to put his silenced pistol away, and once he confirmed the shuffling of money by jostling the case, I made my move for the Jericho. "Standard issue NERV Section Two, or at least it was until it's owner was prematurely removed."

The man shifted uncomfortably, but made no sudden movements. "You a cleaner?"

"Driver," I answered, "but these roads, you know, they aren't safe for my kind of... shipments." I could feel Kensuke stare in shock, but discretely poking him in the arm with my free hand, I reminded him of his role. The boy tried his best to hunch and stride slower to give the illusion of age. Setting his hands down to his sides, neither threatening nor unprepared, I was impressed how well Aida was handling himself.

"I understand," the man answered again, slowly reading the list. "You have no car. How does a driver expect to handle this amount of merchandise?" I could sense the man reach for his pistol, but before he could get his hand in his pocket, Kensuke tilted the soft air weapon just enough for the barrel to poke out of his overcoat, aimed at the man's foot. Meanwhile, I just maintained eye contact, my expression cold, unwavering.

"Would a driver be so foolish as to bring their car to a known place like this?" I asked. "I will take the packages on foot, the pieces first, then the ammunition. My friend, here, will be watching over me from a distance. If something goes wrong, your family will die first, then you."

The questioning look slowly faded from the man's face, Aida's and my eyes slowly adjusting to the darkness of the alley. Normally on a night operation, one should adjust their eyes to total darkness first, but the glare of the city streets prevented this. Kensuke and I, surrounded in shadows for nearly a half an hour, were reaching the peak of our night vision. "You have done this before?"

"Yes," I lied.

"American?"

"Not my clients, and they are the ones who matter. Can you deliver or no?"

Once we returned to my apartment, Kensuke shed the clothing immediately, and sat on the small futon, shivering from the built up adrenaline. "I will call to ask Misato to drive you home," I said, "but another guest will be coming over, and you cannot meet them."

"Okay," Aida breathed.

"I am sorry our first meeting had to be so... intense. If there was another person I could trust, I would have asked them." Kensuke smiled faintly as I sat next to him on the couch, handing him a cup of tea. "It is Earl Grey," I answered the boy's curious glance.

"What... will you do?" Aida asked, his eyes dull from exhaustion and stress.

"NERV cannot be trusted," I replied, taking a sip of the tea before it could cool, burning my tongue slightly. "When the time comes, you must take Hikari and Toji out of here. I will leave instructions and provisions to prevent your capture. I will tell you more next week, after I have made the arrangements."

Before he could finish off his tea, and long before Misato arrived with a nervous, silent Ritsuko, Aida slept, leaning his head into my shoulder. "Well, that solves one problem, I guess," I muttered under my breath.

•••••••••••••

The next day was the same as before, except for the brunette woman sharing my apartment, her hair trimmed to the base of her neck, similar to Maya's. A little less make-up, except for the concealer to hide the mole on her cheek, and Ritsuko Akagi truly was another person. "Did you enjoy the steak at Misato's last night?" I asked.

"Yes, it was nice," the now brunette doctor said flatly. "But what were you doing with that boy, Aida? You left before you could eat."

"I took him out to dinner after he helped me do a little shopping," I answered, almost grinning. Lies were hard for me to tell, because I would constantly give them away with a smirk. Only if she knew how suiting my excuse had been, but she would eventually know. I intended to tell her, but not until we were safely on our little vacation abroad. "Hopefully you slept well."

Ritsuko nodded. "It was... very kind of you to arrange this, but you are risking a lot."

Sitting across from the woman at the small table in the kitchenette, I looked her straight in the eye. "I intended to risk this, and much more before any of this happened." She seemed to return my intense stare, the implications of her death, my evening stroll with Aida, and the unusual boxes from the storage locker I didn't own, for possessions I didn't have all sinking in.

"This is not a game," she breathed. "You better know what you are doing."

"I do," I answered slowly. "And please, I insist you call me Susan Ikari."

End of Chapter XI

•••••••••••••

What could possibly be more entertaining than giant mechs slugging it out with hideous space creatures? How about old school cloak and dagger? For those of you who haven't seen it and enjoy this chapter, you really need to watch the film Ronin(1998). I reference it so much in this story, and the subject matter is very similar.

By the way, anyone have any guesses as to what the hat stands for?

•••••••••••••


	12. Chapter XII: Return to Prior Assumptions

I do not own the rights to Neon Genesis Evangelion, or any of the characters, equipment, or locations written in this fanfiction. The purpose of this fanfiction is merely for the non-profit enjoyment of other readers. If requested by Gainax, Hideki Anno, or other parties which represent aforementioned objects in this story, I will remove it promptly.

**Chapter XII:**

"You start attending Shinji's class in a week?" Ritsuko asked while we ate breakfast. With Shinji's help, we had purchased just enough groceries, dishware, and linens to keep the doctor and I living like civilized human beings for a week or two. By then I had determined to have the forged documents made, and as long as the now brunette Akagi could remember her alias, we could start arranging her new financial situation.

"Yeah," I answered. "I still do not know how to speak Japanese, but Misato assures me I will be considered an exchange student, so that will take some of the pressure off. Do you think you could help tutor me a little?"

Akagi nodded. "I have nothing better to do," she sighed. I wished there was a way the doctor could've enjoyed herself more, but until the forged documents were made, she couldn't risk interacting with the rest of the world. As it was, the residents of Tokyo-3, from the grocery store cashiers to her old friends, would easily identify her unless she was significantly disguised.

It had taken an hour or two to convince the woman to dye her hair to a dark brunette. I suppose I understood her desire not to look like her mother, but I was always convinced after watching Episode 21 that she was far more attractive as a brunette. Blonde women, especially the bleach blondes going for the Paris Hilton look, just annoy me.

"Well, after the Sixteenth Angel attacks, we will have a four day vacation, all expenses paid," I replied. "We will be far away enough to avoid contact with NERV, and you can apply for U.S. citizenship. It will be safer there." This seemed to catch the doctor off guard. She reacted even stronger when I asked "Have you ever been to the United States?"

"Once," Ritsuko answered. "Wait, how did you manage that?"

I held out the digital camera I had purchased with Kensuke the previous night along with our gear. "If I can get a few pictures for some forged identification, we have tickets to California, passports, even driver's licenses in about five days." Ritsuko's face went pale, the woman realizing I was serious. "Before you ask, Gendo is quite easy to manipulate, if you know his weaknesses."

"Is that what the cases are about?"

I nodded. "Part of my price to work for NERV."

"But you still haven't answered, what are in the boxes?"

"I cannot tell you, not just yet," I sighed. "Let us just say they are insurance policies for a few friends."

Ritsuko grumbled. She knew I wasn't going to say anymore. She stood up, getting ready to head out the door, when I rushed after her. "You _know_ you can't go outside!" I snapped. "Section Two is still patrolling, and if you hadn't noticed, they have been very interested in following me."

"I will not live here if I cannot trust you!" Akagi shouted back. "What are in the boxes?"

I sighed, and gripped the woman's hand, dragging her to the room. She resisted, but once I made my way to the boxes, she understood. At least, I thought she understood, because when I drew my folding knife, she cringed and retreated a few steps. "All I've heard is what's in the case, what's in the box, what are you doing?" I snarled. "Fine, you want to know what's in the boxes? LOOK!"

Slicing the boxes open along the packing tape, I set the covering layers of blankets on the floor, and gripped the rifle in my hands. "Armalite M4," I said, presenting the weapon in my hands. "It's a beautiful weapon. Collapsible buttstock, carbine barrel with the birdcage muzzle break, and just for the pleasure of it, the M-203 grenade launcher. For convenience, I switched to a Colt lower receiver, so it will be compatible with all NATO military AR-15s." Watching the doctor stumble back into the kitchenette, I set the weapon back, and went for the next.

"Romanian AKM assault rifle, the post 1956 version of the AK-47," I smiled venomously. "You can tell by the stamped steel receiver, instead of a milled receiver found in the earlier models. It's very common, so common, in fact, if you have to shoot your way out of a third world country, you will have the advantage that every other man trying to kill you will be a walking source of ammo." I held out the weapon to Ritsuko. "Feel the weight. It's not much, and it kicks harder than the M4, but it's simpler to use, won't jam easily, and delivers more stopping power."

Ritsuko trembled as she gripped the weapon. It was obvious she didn't feel comfortable with it. But I wasn't finished yet. "Now, for our anti-material needs," I grinned, cracking open the huge elongated box in the corner. "This is the South African Denel NTW-20 anti-material rifle in 14.5 by 114 millimeter Russian." The weapon was huge, weighing approximately 29 kilograms. I had to set it diagonally along the floor, as the barrel was over a meter long. For convenience, I added a 15x 50 millimeter scope. It would be hard to find targets at that range, but that's what a spotter was for. "One of these will easily take out some aircraft. Now, would you also like to see more in the way of small arms, or is this enough?"

Ritsuko stumbled out into the kitchenette, and ate her breakfast in shocked silence.

•••••••••••••

It wasn't until later that afternoon I would be required at NERV for more synch testing and combat training. Until then, I had some time to purchase the remaining necessities for the apartment. It was slow work, primarily because I couldn't read any of the signs or ask the various sales representatives in the stores where things were. However, the other problem was making sure Ritsuko wasn't spotted.

We had gone out and purchased her new sets of dresses, t-shirts, and slacks, the doctor preferring khakis over jeans. Wearing a scarf wrapped casually around her neck and a pair of large, dark sunglasses, it was quite difficult to tell she was the same woman. As much as she wanted to dress the same as before, I discouraged it. "The less you look and act like your old self, the better," I muttered to her when no one was paying attention. "It's only for a while."

The small cargo van we had rented served our needs perfectly, shuttling the supplies back and forth from the apartment. The thought of purchasing a car had been filling my head for quite some time, but buying a vehicle would be a trade-off of utility and style. I knew precisely what I wanted, but it kept occurring to me a small Chevy S-10 or moderately powered van with some decent towing capacity would be more practical. There was at least one factor I would settle on right then and there. If I was going to buy a vehicle, unless it were a motorcycle, it would be American.

"Have you decided on a name yet?" I asked as we sat and ate our lunch.

The doctor glared at me, setting her hands on the table. "I have had just about enough of this!" she said, her voice ice cold. "You are making me change everything I am, and being incredibly pushy. Has anyone told you how arrogant you are?"

"Yes, all the time," I answered dryly. "But this is what has to be done, unless you would like to be captured by Section Two." I sighed, leaning back into the chair, staring up at the ceiling. "Gendo will just kill you, anyway. You are no longer of use to him, and while I do enjoy your company, if necessary I can always move back in with Misato. We are on a time-critical schedule here, and I need to know what you intend to call yourself before I have these documents made up."

"But my new identity doesn't matter now!" she exclaimed. "There is no one around for kilometers who even remembers me!" This was true, of course. But that was not the point of learning our new identities and using them even amongst each other. For me, my reason was the fact I had no true identity in this world except what I had invented.

"The point is to become comfortable with your story," I said calmly. "What happens if someone calls you Ritsuko, or Doctor Akagi, and you instinctively react to it? It's a simple enough trap, and can be used by anyone." The doctor nodded in understanding. "It would be far easier to do this if Kaji were still alive. His connections could possibly have been a way to offer you some kind of protection."

The doctor cringed for a moment, her eyes drawn down to the floor in reflection. "That is... not an option, so do not spend time thinking about what cannot be done," she said. It was cold, but it was factual. While being with her was comforting, there were those moments I had to question why I bothered to let any of the people in Tokyo-3 live. Each one, regardless of age, had one reason or another they deserved to die.

•••••••••••••

"You are... doing well," Maya called out over the entry plug speakers. The L.C.L. was certainly easier to breathe, and I did feel somewhat in tune with Unit-02. However, this was the test plug, not the actual Evangelion. While Shinji and Rei sat next to me in their respective test plugs, I watched Asuka glare directly at me from the observation window of the control room. I knew I was taking everything away from her, but she had the opportunity to redeem herself after I was finished with the others. Also, if she was going to slowly recover her ability to synch with Unit-02, it would be better for her pride to do it alone, until she was comfortable with the level of her performance again.

The whole situation irritated me, watching how people were used, and those same people using others. Staring back at Asuka through the small video display of the test plug, I felt the back of my brain begin to throb. The pit of my stomach started to itch from the inside, the thoughts racing faster through my mind. Gendo, Seele, all of these vermin, all working together to destroy everything great about humanity. "Your... synch increasing by... three-point-two percent," Ibuki stuttered. I could hear panic in her voice. "Still increasing... now five percent."

The nature of the Eva was simple enough to grasp. They hated the people who created them, even hated their existence. They belonged more with the enemy we were killing than the allies we were protecting, the very allies which would lead to our destruction. There was definitely more than enough rage in each construct to make for a very interesting psych evaluation had they been human. Of course, at one point, they had been human, and that was perhaps the greatest source of rage I found.

"Umm... there is...problem," Maya said, her head seeming to twitch with each word. "Unit-02... we are...shutting it down." Asuka folded her arms on the catwalk handrail, resting her head on them for support. I thought I could see her lips moving, as if she were muttering to herself. It didn't surprise me, but again it just added fuel to the fire. I could feel the adrenaline working it's way slowly through my veins. "Susan, we are cutting synch!" Misato snapped. The microphone was tripped just long enough to make out a couple words.

Maya and Misato had pulled me aside, and agreed upon a limited but effective vocabulary of Japanese for me to communicate with the technicians during the Eva's activation and synch testing. The two words I distinctly remember before I was pulled from Unit-02's test plug were "contamination," and "feedback." As the high pitched whine of the L.C.L. coolant pump motors slowed to a stop, there was a hint of a feeling that struck my mind. The best way to describe it is like hearing your thoughts echo. While I knew I had let a similar thought slip through my mind, this one was slightly different, and I'm fairly certain it didn't come from me.

'Justice,' an indistinct, grunting voice seemed to say.

"No," I said in response. "Justice is too slow, too difficult. What we do must be swift, decisive, and precise. What the world needs is a vengeful cleansing. It needs... punishment."

•••••••••••••

"What did you do to my Eva?" Asuka snapped at me while I showered. Even as a guy, dressing or performing any compromising activity around others of the same gender was unsettling. I dislike others, and I hate them even more when they watch me. My goal in life has always been the same. I was a silent, invisible observer of humanity, existing only as a name on file to make my presence legal.

Therefore, Asuka's constant hounding, especially while I was undressed in the locker room and she wore her plugsuit, disturbed me.

"What do you mean, what did I do?" I snarled, still looking straight ahead in the shower stall. The Second Child was to my left, and glanced over my figure. "Damnnit, eyes up _here_, pervert!"

"Don't you _dare_ imply that I was admiring your miniscule features, Fifth! Even for a boy in a woman's body, you are pathetic!"

Shutting off the scalding hot water, the only true way to enjoy a shower, I wrapped a towel around myself and scowled. "You deprive me of my privacy, accuse me of sabotaging your Eva, and then humiliate me by mocking what I can't control? You know, the last time I checked, I have a decent enough rack that Kensuke didn't look up too much, and just because you aren't getting any action doesn't mean you can take it out on me!"

"You sick little pervert!" she screamed.

"No, get it right, Kraut! I'm a sexist, capitalist pig! And just for your information, I have a girlfriend back in my world, so you can forget trying your dirty talk." Soryu's mouth immediately slammed shut, her eyes widened. Looking back on it, I must admit I broke every single guideline for preventing verbal abuse and harassment at NERV dealing with Asuka. However, the redhead had it coming. To my surprise, the girl started laughing.

"I don't see how anyone could care for you, Fifth!" Asuka cackled. "You're too much trouble!"

"Anyway," I grumbled, making my way to my locker, turning the combination lock a few times. "You were saying something about Unit-02?" This brought the girl's anger back in full force, but now it was more subdued, her voice reduced to a whisper. She crept behind me, glaring while I dressed as quickly as possible.

"I can't synch anymore," she breathed, her voice cracking. The minute I had a blue polo shirt and jeans on, I guided the dejected pilot to sit on the bench in between the lockers. "It... Unit-02 won't even register a percentage anymore!" she breathed, her voice letting out raspy curses I dare not repeat. There was nothing I could do, but I had to think of something.

"Was there anything different... in the test plug?"

"Of course there was, stupid!" Asuka snapped. "I didn't synch!"

"No!" I growled. "Asuka, what was _different_ about the _plug_?" As brilliant as Asuka was, when it came to the Eva, she was clueless. "Feedback from the Eva, the L.C.L. pressure, hell, even the temperature inside the plug, was any of it different?" Soryu was giving me an odd look.

"What does _that_ have to do with anything?"

"Asuka," I growled under my breath. My hands found their way to her wrists, fingers clenching down to the point the girl winced, trying to pull away from my hold. "It has EVERYTHING to do with it! The Eva is a living, thinking creature, NOT just a mech. For God's sake, your MOTHER is in that thi-"

"DON'T YOU _DARE_ TALK ABOUT MY MOTHER!"

I immediately stood up, put on my pair of sneakers, and walked out of the locker room. "I told you before, Asuka. Whether you want to accept it or not, she is in the Eva, and if you _ever_ expect to pilot again, you better start trying to settle whatever issues you have with her." Of course, I was in no position to talk, but I knew what had to be done. "Your mother did not want to abandon you."

I was nearly to the door when I felt two thin hands shove hard into my back. I immediately toppled to the floor, the redhead sitting on my back, driving her fists between my shoulder blades. In a second her hands were around my neck, forcing my head into the tiled floor. "Don't you DARE!" Soryu sobbed. I couldn't believe I was actually hearing the girl cry. "Never! Never talk about her like that! She abandoned me, and your lies won't change anything!"

I gave up, allowing myself to go limp as the redhead started to apply more pressure to my jugular. "She didn't leave by choice!" I hesitantly spoke, my voice strained as my air supply was cut off. Everything started to go dark.

"Then who's to blame?" Soryu screamed. Immediately I tried to reply, but I could barely stay awake. My lungs and chest were burning in pain, my vision going to red, then black. "ANSWER ME!" the Second Child barked again.

"Seele, and Commander Ikari," I gasped, just as everything went silent.

End of Chapter XII

•••••••••••••

I suppose this will work for Chapter 12. Comments/questions, please submit a review.

•••••••••••••


	13. Chapter XIII: Final Option

I do not own the rights to Neon Genesis Evangelion, or any of the characters, equipment, or locations written in this fanfiction. The purpose of this fanfiction is merely for the non-profit enjoyment of other readers. If requested by Gainax, Hideki Anno, or other parties which represent aforementioned objects in this story, I will remove it promptly.

**Chapter XIII:**

I had never wondered why Shinji complained so much in the series about unfamiliar ceilings. To me, being in a new place, particularly if you spent any length of time living there, was a good thing, such as living in the college dorms. While I don't drink, party, or make many human contacts, just being in a new space away from old friends and family was a benefit in itself. It means you are living in a place where there are no haunting reminders of the past you don't want to remember.

As such, when I gained consciousness in the examination room, the same room I had been in for those first days in this world, I wasn't completely annoyed. It was a familiar enough place, the pattern of white and grayscale ceiling panels having a distinct arrangement. However, the familiarity was tied only with the pleasant memories away from the torture of Section Two, the cold, dark imprisonment of the brig, and the unwavering fear of uncertainty in the Katsuragi household.

No, this room meant two things. First, it meant I was alive, and whatever my injuries, they would be resolved. Second, and more importantly, it meant I had at least the doctor and whoever found my unconscious body in the locker room on my side. While there was no guarantee of it, a potential third premise was that Asuka had been restrained, and would get at least some kind of psychological attention. Attacking a fellow coworker or superior, I found out, usually led to a lengthy conversation with the local shrink. Regardless of NERV's operating principles, pleading not-guilty by reason of insanity was still valid in the Post-Impact world, and I was certain quite a few people in the GeoFront could use that argument.

"I do not understand how you do it," Misato sighed, standing over me. I couldn't see her face, as the fluorescent lighting blotted out her figure into a dark silhouette, but the outline was hers. I wanted to sit up, but resting her hand between my collar bones, Katsuragi pinned me to the examination table.

"Don't even think of getting up," Doctor Reynolds' voice boomed from the doorway as he strode in, wearing the usual labcoat, black slacks, blue dress shirt and tie I had expected. "Asphyxiation and head trauma aren't something you can just walk off."

The major folded her arms, glaring at me. "The doctors tell me if you continue being bludgeoned once a week, there could be significant neurological damage. Your body cannot heal if you continuously injure it."

"Somehow, I doubt Asuka is concerned with my health," I mumbled, a weary smile on my face. No, it was a half smile, as the left side of my face did not move. Panicking, I tried blinking my eyes, and only received a wink. Moving my jaw resulted in pain, but at least I had free range of motion there. Then I tried my left arm, from shoulder rotation to balling my fist, and found those responded normally. Whatever had happened, it meant the muscles controlling the entire left side of my face were compromised, but nothing else seemed to be affected. "What... happened?"

"It looks as if some of your facial nerves were injured," Reynolds said, walking over to my side again. "It was probably the way you were pinned. From your unusual arrival, the beating you took today, and the one from a few days ago, it seems you favor falling on your left. The damage looks like it's temporary, but should last up to two weeks, maybe longer." How I had gained this streak of bad luck in this world, I would never know, but I had to start taking more precautions. There was still a lingering doubt in my mind that I would be staying in this world much longer. If I ever did leave, it would most likely occur during the Third Impact. However, just because I was renting this body didn't mean I was going to drink and get into bar fights until I was toothless, blind, and pissing blood.

"Your left eye," Reynolds continued, "took the brunt of the damage." He held up a penlight, telling me to track it's motion as he waved it left and right. No matter how hard I tried, though, I could not follow the light source. Neither did my eye properly dilate when light shone into the pupil. However, my right eye followed the commands with ease. "I was afraid of that. You'll have to wear an eyepatch, and keep your eyelid taped down. I want to see you again in a week for an evening appointment. We'll do a more thorough diagnosis then, and hopefully we'll start seeing an improvement."

"Is Asuka okay?" I asked, tilting my head towards Misato.

"She is... busy," the major answered.

"She's stuck talking with the hospital psychiatrist, and depending on his vote, her pilot status could be terminated immediately," Ben replied. "What in the world did you do to set her off?"

I sighed. "I gave her advice about improving her synch ratio."

Misato cringed, her folded arms tightening around each other. "How can you be so _stupid_?"

"Do you honestly think I want to take over piloting for Asuka?" I shouted back, the lack of air making me feel a tad dizzy. "I want to pilot, but not at her expense."

Katsuragi snapped "Then why did you volunteer to pilot Unit-02?" That was a good question, and it trapped me into giving away my position on NERV. I had told them I knew about Asuka's declining ratio, and how I would be willing to pilot Unit-02 on stand-by. From the very beginning, my intent was to replace the Second Child, but it was not meant to hurt her or take away what dignity she had.

"Asuka is too nice of a person to be burdened with mankind's sins," I snarled, and disregarding the doctor's warnings, sat up to confront the operations director. "I chose to pilot because I am willing to take the burden. However, until she is smart enough to realize she shouldn't pilot, I will stand by her decisions."

Either by random chance or God modeling Himself after Gendo, the klaxon alarm sounded. I could make out just enough to understand I was needed at the Cage. "I just hope Asuka has it out of her system," the major said. "Get to Unit-02. Asuka has one more chance, but I want you in the plug!"

"Yes, ma'am!" I answered, turning to the doctor. Reynolds protested, but standing up, I took a bandage, taping my left eye shut, and slipped the eyepatch on. My legs felt unsteady under my weight, and seeing this, I was shocked to find Misato at my side, wrapping my left arm around her shoulders.

"Why are you doing this?" the major asked as we both stumbled to the Cage. I glanced over to the major, my head feeling light. "You hate me, don't you?"

"I agree with your desire for vengeance," I answered. "I would gladly support you, only if you were willing to put the burden solely on yourself." Katsuragi scowled at me, until I continued, the right side of my face pulled into a pleading look. "Rei is in danger. She will die in this battle unless things change. Regardless of what happens, the minute there is any sign of trouble, pull the neural connections, and forcibly eject Unit-00's plug."

"Do not forget, I am your commanding officer," the major growled under her breath. I nodded in agreement, and continued forward to the elevator. In the event of an emergency, and I thought this was a very nice procedure, each emergency elevator was automatically shut down, and returned to strategically located levels. It was a two minute walk, and it was the most painful, aggravating walk I've had to make. However, it did not last as long as it could have.

We stepped into the elevator, and I watched Misato slip her NERV I.D. card into a vertical slit just below the emergency stop button. The doors slid shut, and a warning message appeared both in Japanese and English over an LCD screen beside the floor indicator, identifying the major. "When this is over, I will teach you everything," Katsuragi breathed over the humming motor during the descent. "You must be aware of all emergency procedures."

"Yes, ma'am."

"I will... make sure nothing happens to Rei."

"Thank you, ma'am."

•••••••••••••

"What happened to you?" Soryu exclaimed as I climbed into the entry plug, the eyepatch still over my left eye. My black plugsuit was still damp from the prior synch testing, though enough had dried that the suit was stiff in certain places. It made crawling into the plug rather awkward. The Second Child cursed and protested, but I pushed her aside, and sat down in the reclined seat. "So, are you going to tell me what happened?" she asked.

"You did this!" I snapped back. Asuka was confused for a moment, especially since the left side of my face did not move. "You killed off half the nerves in my face! I can't even blink anymore!" Soryu turned her head and stared. I saw her mouth draw into a frown for a second. "Well... you just got in my way!" she answered defiantly.

"Asuka, we will talk about this later!" Misato snapped. "Unit-02, prepare to launch." The Second Child shrank back in her seat, but glared as if I was the one at fault. The entry plug hatch slid shut, and the L.C.L. began to pressurize. By this time I would have started my normal routine of dialogue, but I would not show any weakness in front of this girl.

There is a slight disorientation when the entry plug screws into the spinal column socket of the Eva, the same kind of feeling you get when swimming upside-down in water. I suggested to Maya the entry plug cockpit could be mounted on bearings, allowed to freely rotate axially within the the shell. Then again, by the time I had made this suggestion, there really was no more need for the Eva series, or so the others thought.

Maya called out as the various stages were taken up during synchronization. The restraints lifted, and I felt Unit-02 jerk forward slightly as the catapult trolley rolled into place. The Eva must have arrived without prior detection, because the Eva was being rushed to the catapult, many of the safety measures being skipped to save for time. "Unit-02, launch!" Asuka shrieked.

The pit of my stomach sank to merge with the rest of my intestines, and I felt the right side of my face pull down like a swatch of elastic. the ascent, for as quickly as it lasted, was murder. I could tell the catapult was ramped up to a higher acceleration than normally used. With the Fifteenth Angel, the acceleration was maybe half as intense. But this time, as we rocketed to the surface, the pain was so intense all my other senses just faded. I could have sworn my remaining eye went to grayscale, and I could barely hear as Rei called out she prepared to launch.

"Thank you, Misato," I mumbled under the roar of the catapult.

•••••••••••••

The second the catapult came to a stop, Asuka shoved the controls forward. However, the Eva did not respond. "Why won't you move?" she screamed. "I can't lose again!" I stared ahead through the goggles at the plug's virtual display. The Angel was rotating harmlessly above the surface, but I knew it would just be a matter of time before it would attack. It would wait until we made a move. Asuka, however, would not be able to control the Eva.

"Maya, synch ratios?" I asked in Japanese. It was one of the few questions and phrases I had learned to speak effectively, if not fluently. My hands twitched, and I thought I saw the Angel begin to descend closer to the surface. Whatever we had to do, we had to do it now. Standing still out in the open was just asking for trouble.

"Synch is 52 percent for Ikari, and...," Ibuki began to say. As Soryu cursed and smacked the control yokes, I heard her begin to sob. "It is... below operation for Soryu." The instant the words came out, I felt the redhead pull away from me, and to my astonishment, she smacked her forehead hard against the forward control panel.

"Beating yourself up is not going to help," I began, "but I know how you feel."

"WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY KNOW?" Asuka shot back. Her forehead was bleeding, but that did not stop her from assaulting the cockpit with her fists. Then she turned on me, her eyes wide like a predator homing in on its next meal. I looked over the girl's shoulder, and to my horror, noticed the Angel uncoiling.

With a swift uppercut to the girl's jaw, Asuka was distracted enough to toss aside with little effort. While I'm not a fan of girls going for the anorexic moviestar look, they definitely are easier to deal with if they try something funny. She glanced up at me, eyes glazed over. Setting her into the seat, I leaned forward, gripping the controls, and threw Unit-02 forward.

The speed was incredible. Immediately the Angel responded, charging towards our location. To my horror, I saw another catapult open and discharge the blue Unit-00 not two miles away. By now I was familiar enough with the controls to operate the tac radio and perform straight-line maneuvers without glancing down at the displays. "Rei, get out of there!" I shouted. "Misato, open Catapults Three and Four Alpha."

"This is Commander Ikari," Gendo's voice growled at nearly a whisper. "You will engage the target."

"Not without a plan I won't!" I snapped back. "This Angel's strategy is to penetrate the Eva's A.T. Field. We need multiple prog knives and Unit-01 deployed with a positron rifle to properly silence it. Units-00 and 02 will engage in close combat to pin the target, while Unit-01 can shoot it down."

"Listen, Susan!" Misato growled. "You are to follow _our_ orders!"

I was running out of time. The Angel was approaching, and to my horror, Rei was advancing to take her position with a rifle. "I swear, women should never be allowed out of the kitchen!" I grumbled, changing direction and moving parallel to Ayanami. "Rei, talk to me!"

"Yes Pilot...Ikari?" the albino replied.

"Retreat to the hills, and take a position to snipe the target."

"Susan!" the major yelped. "What in God's name are you doing?" However, I ignored Katsuragi and continued to advance towards the Angel. Rei was about to say something, but I watched her face in the visual display draw back in fear. "Rei! What is wrong?" But Misato had her answer about five seconds later. That is about the time I heard her gasp and scream at me. "Susan!"

The Evangelion, I found, had an impressive top speed just below Mach 1. I was told later it could have gone faster, but playing chicken with the Sixteenth Angel, I didn't want to go any faster than I was certain the Eva could not quickly maneuver. "Sorry, can't talk and play chicken!" I shouted a little too loudly. I could see Asuka's face pale in the corner of my eye, the girl scrambling back into the seat.

"Get the prog knife!" she screamed into my ear. She reached towards the controls just as I smacked them away, pressing the release switches myself. Soryu's hands shrank back, and I watched her pull her legs close to her chest. She was no longer afraid, but more depressed. She understood now she really couldn't do anything, and whether or not we came out of this situation alive would be by blind luck rather than my lack of skill.

The Angel was closer now, almost on top of us as I reached up to the prog knife in the right shoulder palette. After two failed attempts to retrieve the knife, the Angel was way too close. Try grabbing an empty soda can taped to your shoulder sometime at a full-out run, and then throw in the difficulty of trying to tell a construct to do it through a joystick. That's pretty much what it felt like. I had to stop immediately and reach for it, but doing so would allow the Angel to kill me easily.

Unfortunately, I was too late.

End of Chapter XIII

•••••••••••••

Yes! Finally got to the Sixteenth Angel, but it does feel a little rushed. Of course, that sort of adds to the tension, and I don't want this story to drag on too long (I can't stand more than a 25 chapter fanfic).

•••••••••••••


	14. Chapter XIV: Words and Actions

I do not own the rights to Neon Genesis Evangelion, or any of the characters, equipment, or locations written in this fanfiction. The purpose of this fanfiction is merely for the non-profit enjoyment of other readers. If requested by Gainax, Hideki Anno, or other parties which represent aforementioned objects in this story, I will remove it promptly.

**Chapter XIV:**

"SUSAN!" Misato screamed. "Rei, get Unit-02 out of there now!"

I felt a burning pain in my chest as the Angel burrowed it's way into me. I watched Asuka stare up from the floor of the cockpit, her body shaking, but no apparent injury. She did not feel what I did, and for that I was glad.

"NEGATIVE!" I shouted back. "Rei... shoot... through the Eva!" The pain flared again, and I felt it spread slowly up my spine to the back of my head. I heard the echo of voices in my mind, and I knew what was coming next. Whether Rei killed Asuka and I or not, I was certain I never wanted to feel this way again. The pain was horrible, but the fact the creature was tapping into my most private thoughts was... unsettling. "I said _shoot_!"

"No, there's another way!" Katsuragi shouted. She obviously planned to do precisely what I told her to do incase Rei was in danger. However, I would not allow that. It was horrible, yes, and while I did feel the Angel start to worm it's way into me, disturbing images and sounds flashing in and out of my mind, I was still able to think clearly enough to realize my plan could work.

"Negative... Major," I said, my brain struggling to make the words come out of my mouth. Part of it had to do with the fact I have a very low tolerance for pain. Even so, I should have at least been able to scream or curse as I usually do. This only meant the Angel's merging was interfering with my motor control. "Asuka... prepar-... eject... plug."

There was a lot of shouting over the tac-net, I remember that much. Some voices I recognized, others were unfamiliar. "We cannot disconnect you!" Maya hollered. "Neural connection controls not responding!" In short, I was down to two choices at this point. Asuka and I could stay in the plug, possibly being vaporized in the process, or I would have to risk significant brain damage. I don't have to explain which choice I took, as any sane person would have done the same.

Asuka scrambled up to the emergency jettison controls. I made a mental note of the procedure, if I ever found myself in this same situation again. I highly doubted it, but it is always better to be prepared and disappointed than unprepared and dead. Soryu stared into my one working eye. For the first time in my life, I was finally able to read the emotion in a person's facial expressions. Asuka knew when I nodded at her that I could feel her fear.

"Shoot, Rei!" I screamed. "Do it now!"

As much as I hated him, Rokubungi came through for me just that one time. "Rei, take the shot," he answered blandly. The tac-net went silent, but not before I heard an acknowledging sigh, and the click of the control yoke trigger.

•••••••••••••

Time seemed to pause as my vision cut out, the entry plug going dark around me. Suddenly the scenery changed to a wide open plains with rolling hills, yellow grass, and the brilliant intensity of the California sun. I was standing on a two lane road running nearly parallel to the east and west. I recognized it immediately, one of the major highways outside of Sacramento. My shadow indicated I was still female, and for some odd reason, I was still wearing my plugsuit. Then I noticed something approaching in the distance.

Almost on the horizon, a red dot screamed towards me with incredible speed. I recognized the low thumping engine as a General Motors big-block. If you listen carefully, the GM V8s have an exhaust note unique to their make. They are nothing like Fords or Chryslers. When it was about a mile away, I recognized precisely what it was.

My first car, the red Pontiac GTO, was fast approaching.

Foolishly, I remained in the middle of the street. While my mind screamed to run, another part of me felt a calm peace wash over, and I listened to the latter voice. When it came close enough, I squinted, trying to make out the driver of the car. The sun beat down, sweat bonding the plugsuit to my body, and while I knew this was just a dream, I was beginning to have doubts. What if I was really playing a one-sided game of chicken with my first car? No, that wasn't possible in reality. Finally, the driver came into focus behind the windshield as the sun's reflection pulled away. I gasped in shock.

My original form, glasses, letterman jacket and all, was behind the wheel. But it couldn't have been me, since _he_ was driving completely unlike me. I have always been gentle on the vehicles I've operated, except in the area of cornering, where I try to maintain my initial speed through corners as much as possible, shooting for the apex of the curve. This driver, this crude copy, was hammering the throttle hard, the GTO screaming at what must have been four-thousand revolutions a minute. Remembering the gear ratios, that would put it at about seventy, maybe eighty miles per hour. No, I would never have driven that hard.

Something cold and made of steel formed in my right hand. Glancing down, I noticed a Smith and Wesson Model 27 .357 Magnum. It was an older model, probably made back in the mid seventies, with a blued finish and the classic hatched wooden grips. I knew immediately what I had to do. I positioned myself into a Weaver stance, pulled the hammer to full cock, placed my index finger on the trigger, and took a breath.

"You would deny us?" a monotonous voice spoke blandly. "We will become one with you whether you wish it or not."

Then I remembered the situation at hand. While the GTO advanced more quickly now, accelerating hard to it's redline, the events up to now came flooding back. I was still in the entry plug, and this... this thing _had_ to be the Sixteenth Angel. It was trying to get inside my head.

I am not so great when it comes to metaphors, but when you're staring down a car moving at nearly one-hundred miles an hour, knowing you have to come up with some kind of answer, your mind finds a way to compensate for it's weaknesses. "I can't stop you," I spat out in hate. "However..." I smiled, put the barrel of the revolver into my mouth, and glared at the vehicle. Now I was truly debating whether it was a dream or not. The gun oil and burnt powder tasted real enough in my mouth, the wind gusted lightly forcing my hair out of shape, and my pride and joy would not stop, it's fiberglass Endura bumper not fifty feet from my thighs. "Just a dream..." I reminded myself as I squeezed the trigger.

Everything went dark.

•••••••••••••

I woke up, finding my mouth and throat bone dry, inducing a coughing fit. I was lying flat on my back, staring up at that same off-white hospital ceiling, but it was clearly a different room. The pattern of speckled paint on the ceiling panels was different, at least by enough to tell I was somewhere other than the examination room from before. I turned my head, the muscles in my neck straining. Everything hurt again. The eyepatch was still on, so my vision was restricted. However, I did see Shinji and Rei standing over me, a small bouquet of flowers in the boy's hand. I was in the room where I had met them before, and it seemed suiting.

"H... How is Asuka?" I coughed out hoarsely.

Rei met my eye with hers, answering very calmly, "She was injured, but not seriously." I nodded slightly, grunting as I tried to sit up. Ayanami put a hand on my shoulder, forcing me to lie back down on the bed. I did not go down without a fight, however, as I clamped my right hand around hers, trying to pull her off of me. I was just glad there was no intravenous drip in my arms, because the Child and I struggled until I slowly gave in.

"How injured is that?" I growled.

"A minor concussion, two bruised ribs, and a sprained wris-"

"That doesn't sound like minor to me," I snapped in response. "Just do me a favor, and don't just walk up to the Angel like it's a friend. You would have been safe otherwise." The girl's expression shifted from calm to a slight disgust. Shinji stepped forward and tried to clean up the situation.

"We are... glad you are okay," the young Ikari said with some difficulty. I could tell he had practiced the words. "These are... for you," he continued, pushing the bouquet of flowers forward. Rei slowly backed off, releasing my shoulder. I took a deep breath to clear the anger from my system, though I refused to smile.

"Thank you," I replied. I tried to reach for them, but again my body was still weak. "How long have I been here?"

"Approximately two days," Rei answered. "Your injuries were less severe than the Second Child."

"How much less?" I sat up, throwing my legs over the side of the bed. I was once again wearing a disposable examination gown. It was then as I sat up that I felt the scar. Running my hand over my abdomen, I found a circular patch of wrinkled skin about three inches in diameter. It was the kind of wrinkled, spongy tissue you would expect from a burn. I started to recall the events in the entry plug just before it ejected. The burn indicated two things. First, Rei had shot Unit-02 before Asuka and I could eject. Secondly, and more importantly, I was synchronized with the Eva at a respectable ratio if the damage had been manifested on my body. "What other injuries are there?"

"You should be completely recovered from the skin graft," Rei explained, "but there is contamination from the Angel." Now it was getting serious. "Analysis of your brain patterns indicate the Angel has interfered with your higher brain functions."

"Does that eliminate me as a pilot?" I asked.

"You are... not trustworthy," Rei answered. "Commander Ikari wishes to keep you on standby."

"That is probably the least offensive way it could be put," I answered, grinning. I rose to my feet, stumbled the first two steps, but then recovered. I felt slightly light-headed and had to move slowly until I became accustomed to walking again.

Rei was speaking to Shinji in Japanese, and I noticed he jumped slightly in shock. "It is... not right," he struggled with the words. "Umm... Susan?" Glancing back, the Third Child was handing me a plastic bag containing my clothes. "I... washed for you."

Now was as good a time as any to show I was making some effort to learn the language. In response, I thanked the boy and gave a polite bow. Ikari blushed, his head and eyes turning away nervously. "Rei, is it possible for me to make a phone call on a secure line?" I asked.

"For what purpose?" the girl replied.

"I need to make an arrangement with a friend." Ayanami nodded, and the two started to leave to let me dress. Just before they left, however, I wanted to make my position clear. "Have you visited Asuka yet?"

Shinji nodded, his gaze lowered to the floor. "Conversing with her proved... unsuccessful," Ayanami replied.

"Yeah..." I answered.

•••••••••••••

Maya entered the room just as I placed the call. "You wanted to see me?" the lieutenant asked. I nodded, and after hearing the other end of the line ring twice, I hung up, and checked my watch. After thirty seconds passed, I dialed again. "What are you doing?"

Just before Ritsuko answered, I turned to Maya. "Just making arrangements."

"Go ahead," the doctor answered. I had to admit, she didn't sound the same. We had been working on throwing off her accent, getting her used to speaking Standard Spoken American English as is common in the Pacific Coast states. She was getting good at it.

"My ego barrier has been compromised by the Sixteenth," I said calmly. I could just see Akagi tensing as I heard her take a sharp breath. "Before you start, this is a secure line, and there is one person here, but she is not a risk to our objective."

"It's Maya, isn't it?" she said.

"Yes," I answered. "She needs your help to continue my diagnosis. We do not know how bad the damage is."

"What about Unit-02?"

"I told Rei to shoot through me to stop the Angel," I grumbled. "That sniper rifle hurts. Unit-02 is being repaired, but we believe there could still be contamination."

I heard a loud groan over the phone line. "What happened?"

"Misato ordered Rei to intercept the Sixteenth. This Angel was attempting mind to mind contact. I intercepted and took the brunt of the attack. To kill the Angel while it's AT Field was down, I had to eject before synchronization could be cut."

"You HAVE to be kidding me!" When I told her I wasn't, Ritsuko slipped back to Japanese for a moment, then corrected herself with English. "You're lucky you aren't just lying in a bed drooling on yourself! As it is, if you are still possessed by the Angel, it will not show itself until you are close enough to its objective." I had a feeling where this was going, and Ritsuko confirmed it. "You can't be trusted to pilot or be anywhere near NERV."

"Well, Rokubungi thinks it's safer for me to be kept under strict observation here. He always was a few beers short of a six pack." Akagi paused to giggle a moment. "But I have the plane tickets cleared, and I have Lieutenant Ibuki going over to retrieve my stuff for an extended stay. She'll drop everything off for you, as well as a rental car to get you to the airport. But you will have to take care of my business in California, if you do not mind."

Ritsuko sighed. "What are you getting me into?"

"Nothing illegal," I answered. "I just need you to make some very expensive purchases, and ship a couple things back. Take the suitcase with the NERV tag still attached. Inside are all the instructions, written both in English and Japanese. I have included everything you need to take care of the matters with limited difficulty."

"What about the other case?"

"I will take care of that."

There was another short gasp for air. "Okay," Ritsuko breathed."Put Maya on the phone. I need to know how bad you screwed things up."

•••••••••••••

The couple Section Two agents I had met before during my interrogation followed me cautiously down the hallway as I reached Gendo's office. The doors opened, and as my eye adjusted to the light, I noticed six more agents surrounding Rokubungi. Fuyutsuki stood to his right as usual, also protected by the men. Misato seemed to be the only one willing to approach me, wearing her black dress uniform with maroon trim. "Thank you for coming, Susan," Katsuragi said.

I nodded slightly in response, my one eye working left to right, studying the crowd with interest. "As you know, the Angel was defeated because of your actions," the major continued, her tone becoming sarcastic. "However, you disobeyed my orders, and risked the life of your teammates. Your actions lately have come into question by the committee, and they want to meet with you."

"When?" I asked.

"Now," the commander grumbled.

I was led away to a large room just off to the right of Gendo's office. I had an idea what to expect, but seeing and hearing the Seele Committee members as holographic projections was one of the more interesting experiences. Misato stood beside me after escorting me to the door. Once the cheap knock-offs of the monolith appeared, I had at least enough light and a spatial reference for where I was supposed to stand. The floodlight clicked on, bathing me in pure white light.

"You are the Fifth Child?" the rectangular object boomed in a German accent to my left.

"Yes," I answered.

"We have several disturbing reports of your foolishness," another spoke off to my right. "You are reckless with the Evangelion, and are under suspicion of containing at least one Angel, if not two." I was lost as to the purpose of the meeting, until another of the Seele projections continued the meeting. "Now we have reason to suspect you plan a coup against us. You are here to explain your actions, and perhaps we will allow you to live."

"Is that right?" I muttered under my breath. I curled my lips into a snarl, my right eye focusing on the aged man I knew as Chairman Keel. "I see no need to defend my actions." Misato cringed, and gave me a menacing stare. She was about to speak when the committee members began their inquisition.

"You willfully threatened Major Katsuragi with a firearm?" one asked.

"Yes," I answered.

"You attacked and seriously injured Commander Ikari?" another spoke up.

"Yes..."

"You leaked classified information on an insecure channel about the Lance of Longinus?"

"You willfully made direct contact with the Sixteenth Angel, contaminating yourself and Evangelion Unit-02?"

"Yes..."

"You demand large sums of money for your duty to NERV?"

"Duty?" I asked, starting to laugh. "What possible obligation do I have to you or the rest of humanity?"

"Susan!" Misato interrupted. However, she went silent as I glared at her, trying my best to focus my rage with my last working eye.

It sounds stupid, but as bad a series as Dragonball Z is, I have sort of an admiration for Vegeta. Of all the characters, I believe he had the best strategy of dealing with adversaries. It was because of this I chose my words as carefully as possible, as to anger the committee. "I have paid for your organization's incompetence every waking moment of my existence, and for what? Do you even realize how easy it would be to kill Major Katsuragi where she stands? To kill the other Children? You cannot stop me, no matter how many of your goons you send. If you had the guts to face me in person, I would show you just how glorious it is to bathe in the blood of your enemy."

The major took a step back and was ready to strike me, but before she could draw her hand across my face, I blocked and redirected her limb aside. "Release the major at once!" Keel shouted, but did not dare to rise from his seat. He couldn't, after all. He was a weak, frail man. The other Seele members shouted similar commands, but Section Two would not come to Misato's rescue. This was a committee meeting, after all. The agents were banned from such classified discussions.

I gripped Misato's right wrist mercilessly, bending the arm down in a sickening angle. Just as the woman began to squirm, I released her, letting her retreat to the door. "Your plans to create a god out of the collective souls of mankind is pathetic," I snarled, grinning. "Look at how weak you are! Weakness does not lead to strength, no matter how many worthless insects you add to your plan!"

The committee went silent.

"I have no duty except to indulge my own desires. If I choose to kill for you, I will do it when it suits me."

"What is your intent, Pilot?" another of the Seele members barked.

"My intent... is to kill the remaining Angel, and anything else which dares to harm my fellow pilots." I clenched my fists, lips pulled back into a sadistic grin. "Man is a predator, a killing machine. War is the last option to achieve our desires. When it is used, it must be used to it's maximum, crushing our enemies in a swift, decisive victory. And when we butcher our adversary, we must make it an example to the others. I will dance in the remains of my prey, and instill fear upon my fellow man so as to establish my dominance."

Katsuragi stared, standing back on her feet. "If we had our way," Keel snapped,"you would never be allowed near an Evangelion!"

"Then stop me," I snarled. "I grow tired of your games."

The meeting ended, the various monolith copies fading into the darkness. Keel's image remained behind to study me curiously for a moment, then mimicked the others. Once the spotlight clicked off, I felt a hand grab my wrist, jerking me to a swift stride towards the door. I was glad the meeting was over. As soon as Misato and I reached the corridor, I took a deep breath. The walls were polished metal, and as I glanced at my reflection, I knew something was wrong. "What were you _doing_?" Misato screamed.

My eyes had changed from green, to gray, to black. "I... don't know..."

End of Chapter XIV

•••••••••••••

Comments/questions, please leave a review.

•••••••••••••


	15. Chapter XV: A Reason to Fight

I do not own the rights to Neon Genesis Evangelion, or any of the characters, equipment, or locations written in this fanfiction. The purpose of this fanfiction is merely for the non-profit enjoyment of other readers. If requested by Gainax, Hideki Anno, or other parties which represent aforementioned objects in this story, I will remove it promptly.

**Chapter XV:**

I was swiftly banned from NERV headquarters, and restricted to my apartment until it was deemed necessary to bring me back to pilot status. However, I was still ordered to attend school, and the paychecks for my living expenses still came in. When I asked Misato about this, after apologizing for the use of excessive force, she curtly explained it to me. "We need a show of force," she said. "Whether you are crazy or not makes no difference, as long as someone can synch with Unit-02."

There was one positive aspect of my suspension from duty. I had enough time on my hands to organize the life I had in this world. Before I spent any more money, I decided to make sure my finances were in order. The bank manager along with a couple guards surrounded me once the teller reported what was in the case, but after showing them my NERV identification, they humored my request. "What do you want to do with your money?" the manager, Mr. Suzuki asked.

"I would like at least three hundred thousand dollars invested as British pounds in three equally divided short-term certificates of deposit," I began. "Next, another two hundred thousand, I would like to hold as platinum bars, just incase of inflation. I will take delivery of the bars myself." Handing a slip of paper with my address, Mr. Suzuki stared, his mouth hanging open. "Finally, the remaining five hundred thousand, I would like invested in a long term balanced mutual fund with about sixty percent in stocks, and forty percent in bonds, and I want it set up as a Roth IRA, tax free." I paused for a second. "I am looking at blue chip companies, preferably with dividend-paying stocks. If we can find one as an index fund, that would be even better."

"Are you... sure?" the manager asked.

"I am sure. I attended a few university courses on corporate finance and accounting. If I calculated the monthly yields properly, and if you consider the growing number of American exports, a clear sign of a weak dollar, it is in my best interest to invest now before interest rates drop again. As for the dividend-paying stocks, if I use dividend reinvestment, it will help control some of the risk."

Mr. Suzuki just stared at me for another moment, then smiled. "I look forward to doing more business with you in the future."

I bowed, then shook the man's hand with a firm, polite handshake. According to my documents, I was Japanese American. While he expected the handshake, he was pleasantly surprised by the extra effort to comply with the local customs. There were very few foreigners who would invest that kind of money in Tokyo-3, but even less who would bow lower than the bank manager and shake hands.

"Would you care to join my family for dinner?" Mr. Suzuki hesitantly asked, as I made it to the door. "It is... most awkward, but I would be honored if you would join us."

I was shocked for a moment, but smiled and agreed. "Is tomorrow appropriate? I have some business to attend to for the rest of the day." I knew nothing about this man, so I made a mental note to go equipped, just incase.

"That would be perfect."

•••••••••••••

The rest of the day consisted of some shopping. Of course, there was still the language barrier, and I was unfamiliar with the city. The only times I had ever seen it involved being shot at, contaminated by Angels, or generally on the run from Section Two. As such, I contacted the only person I could trust at a time like this.

Maya answered her cell phone. "Maya, is this an appropriate time?" I asked.

The lieutenant whispered into her phone. "You cannot call here," she answered. "You are to be... locked from headquarters." Ibuki sighed deeply. "Can it wait?"

"I do not mean to be a burden, but I need to learn basic etiquette for a traditional Japanese dinner."

I could hear Maya pause, the silence indicating she was thinking. "Why?"

"The bank manager I talked to today invited me to have dinner with his family," I answered.

"Are you... sure it is safe?"

"I will take the necessary precautions." Maya was still uncertain, but she knew how I handled the situation with Ritsuko. She finally agreed to meet me after her shift at headquarters. I had a spare scrap of paper on me, so I quickly wrote down the address to her apartment.

"We will also find some more clothes for you," she said. I groaned, knowing the brunette would insist on more feminine attire. There would be no way to escape it, though. Sooner or later, I would have to get used to the idea I was a female in this world, and would have to adjust. "Perhaps... kimono..."

"Perhaps..." I answered. "Just... nothing too feminine."

"Okay," Ibuki sighed. "Meet you at your apartment in three hours?"

"Alright. Thank you, Maya."

"I will see you later, then. Goodbye."

•••••••••••••

"Are you sure about this?" I grumbled in the changing room of the department store. I could hear Maya sigh, and knew I would not get out of this. I opened the door to the changing room slowly, and stepped out. "It is... embarrassing." I took two steps, and nearly fell on my face. It would take some to get used to the pumps and mules, but Maya had compromised, keeping me from the more stylish high heels. I was still unsure about the miniskirt, being a little too short. At least I had convinced Maya to stick with polo shirts for tops.

The minute I stepped out, I saw Maya smile. "You are... cute," she said. The blue polo shirt was a nice touch, but the black miniskirt, frilly white ankle socks, and black pumps were not my style. More importantly, the bra and panties she was recommending were far from what I would ever be comfortable with. "You do not like it?"

"Perhaps some changes are necessary," I answered. "I prefer... more conservative."

"What do you w-" Maya started, then corrected herself. "What... did you wear?"

"T-shirts and jeans, until later on in college, when I moved to suits and ties."

Maya blinked. "Suits?" She understood what I was talking about, of course, but somehow my choice was a little too conservative for her. "Alright, what is your favorite color?"

"Blue, or black," I admitted.

Again Maya doubted the success of the operation. Shaking her head, she guided me to a mirror, and set her hands on my shoulders. "You are... female now," she began. "You must act feminine."

"Do I have to?"

"YES!" she roared. There were a few glances from nearby shoppers, and the lieutenant quickly reverted to a whisper. "Look at what I am wearing." Ibuki, while on her days off, would wear pretty much a pair of simple blue jeans and a t-shirt. As much as that style appealed to me, the fact women's clothing was cut to enhance curves, while men's clothing was solely utilitarian irritated me.

"I will try," I grumbled, "but can we at least limit the lace?"

Maya didn't understand, until I pointed to my socks. Giggling slightly, she nodded. "Okay, but it is not all that bad. Besides, when you go to school, you will be around other girls. They will expect a certain level of, how do I say it?"

"Stupidity?" I grunted.

"No!" Ibuki grinned. "They expect you to act similar to them. If you do not, they will suspect you."

I never knew how long it could take to buy clothes. Normally I'm in and out of a shopping center in less than a half an hour, maybe an hour if I need to browse. But this round of shopping just dragged on and on. After an hour and a half, we finally settled on my daily wardrobe. It would take some getting used to, but if it meant my true identity would be hidden, it was a benefit. I was a gun smuggler and potential mercenary now, after all.

Ibuki and I, with a few inquiries, found the department that sold school uniforms. The turquoise jumpers were at least less revealing than the series, but the fact a few guys in the department store gave me a few suggestive looks once they saw what I was buying made me reconsider my policy of no guns at school.

The last half an hour was what I was truly concerned about. To save time, and because she was sick of my complaining, Maya agreed to let me buy a couple suits and ties. Three pair of black slacks, five single color dress shirts, a couple patterned ties, two black blazers, a pair of black shoes, and about a week's worth of black socks later, I was fully equipped for my encounter with Mr. Suzuki's family.

Now learning the etiquette was another problem entirely.

•••••••••••••

I rang the doorbell once, folding my hands behind my back. Mr. Suzuki answered the door cautiously, a trace of sweat on his brow. He wore a black suit and tie, all of his clothes neatly pressed. He glanced at me in surprise, his lips pulled into a smile more of discomfort rather than pleasure. "Thank you for coming," he said, a slight tone of irritation in his voice. That disappeared the moment his wife came to the door, however, wearing a navy blue suit and skirt. Her hair was trimmed to shoulder length, jet black, and an uncomfortable smile crossed her face. "Please, come in."

Stepping inside, I swiftly removed my shoes, setting them in a corner of the entry way. The Suzuki family was clearly wealthy, their house built in a western style with polished wooden floors, and two stories. The exterior walls were white, and the roof consisted of the reddish Spanish clay shingles. The carpets were a pristine white, and all of the wood was stained an artificial mahogony. This type of home would not have existed here if it were not for Second Impact influencing the weather as it did. "This is a beautiful home," I said. "Reminds me of some of the houses I used to see in California."

Mrs. Suzuki's smile became genuine as she guided me towards the living room. Inside, I was met by the couple's two children, a boy and a girl. Their son apparently he did not understand the concept of a formal dinner, wearing a stained pair of jean shorts nearly down to his knees and an oversized sports jersey. He was nearly my age, maybe a year or two older. Their daughter, on the other hand, was about twelve, maybe thirteen, and dressed in the turquoise jumper I had associated with the junior high uniform. I didn't know how it was possible for the two Suzuki children to be so close in age, as according to the Evangelion universe, children were not easily born as a result of Second Impact.

"This is our son, Hiroshi, and our daughter, Yuki," Mrs. Suzuki said. Both Hiroshi and Yuki rose, and gave hesitant bows. I bowed in return. Both of them gave me odd looks. Perhaps it was the eyepatch and bruises, which I still wore.

"What happened to you?" Hiroshi grunted.

"Suzuki Hiroshi!" Mr. Suzuki snapped. The dialogue continued between them in Japanese. Mrs. Suzuki retreated slightly into the kitchen. Yuki, however, stared at me, confused as to my looks. Both Hiroshi and Yuki had similar features as their parents, mainly pitch black hair and more angular facial features. The eyes were the only difference. Yuki's eyes were a dark blue, similar to Shinji. I noticed Mr. Suzuki had eyes that were a light hazel. I was starting to suspect, both from their mannerisms and physical features that the Suzukis were at least part European, and may have spent time in America.

The shouting between the two continued to grow, when I finally decided to break the conflict. "I am a pilot of the Evangelion," I hollered. Yuki's eyes widened, her mouth gaping open in surprise. Both Mr. Suzuki and Hiroshi halted their argument, staring at me. "I fight those giant monsters in that big, red robot." Turning to Hiroshi, I stepped between him and his father. "Trust me, you will want to dress like this and present yourself with more respect in the future. Being a man is about being tough _and _sophisticated."

Hiroshi scoffed, but apparently I was winning over Yuki. The girl clasped her hands together, nearly bowing as if I were some kind of demigod. "What would you know about being a man?" the defiant boy snapped.

I grinned sadistically. "Just join us for dinner, and let us have a nice evening. Trust me, do not make me angry."

•••••••••••••

"Are you serious?" Mrs. Suzuki's voice squeaked.

"Yes, my relatives in the states taught me to drive bulldozers, ride motorcycles, and how to load my own ammunition," I answered. Of course, that was a lie. It was my paternal grandparents and my own parents who were responsible for those, but I could not possibly use my cover story as Shinji's sister unless I adjusted a few facts of my life. I could tell Yuki was impressed to say the least. Hiroshi, however, was still giving me disgusted looks. We all sat around the polished wooden dinner table. I took the seat across from Mr. Suzuki, my back to the door. It was not the preferred tactical situation, but I could let my guard down for a little while. Mrs. Suzuki sat to the right of her husband, while Hiroshi sat next to his mother. Yuki sat next to me.

Mr. Suzuki, I learned, had indeed lived back in the States during his childhood, and later migrated back to Japan with his wife and children once Tokyo-3 was completed. "So, how about you?" Mrs. Suzuki asked. "Have any family here?"

"Just found out I have a brother. I happen to be the long lost sister he didn't know about."

"I am sorry to hear that," Mrs. Suzuki replied.

"I'm rather pleased I didn't meet the family until now. My father is a little, shall we say, into some shady business practices?" Both Mr. and Mrs. Suzuki raised their eyebrows in surprise, then it dawned on them. I was a pilot of an Evangelion, after all.

The rest of the dinner was pleasant, and it helped all of the family spoke fluent English. The dinner was nice as well. I'm not usually a fan of Japanese cooking, but Mrs. Suzuki took some liberties, making the food a little more American. While Yuki assured me she could handle the dishes herself, I insisted I could help out. "You invited me over, after all," I mentioned.

I stayed for another hour, just chatting with Yuki. Apparently, she was also attending the same junior high I would. Mrs. Suzuki walked up behind us, and ushered the girl off to sleep just after ten o'clock at night. As I made my way to the door, Mr. and Mrs. Suzuki escorting me out, I turned to face them. "I am concerned," I said, "about this place being safe."

Mrs. Suzuki raised her eyebrow. "What...do you mean?"

"I seriously suggest moving out of Tokyo-3 within the next month, maybe sooner if you can manage it." I took a deep breath. "I will watch out for Yuki while she is at school."

Mr. Suzuki glared, taking a step towards me. "You know something, don't you?"

"Just trust me, the war is getting... complicated."

•••••••••••••

A knock at my door caused me to jump, the bad dreams not helping any. Glancing at the clock, I noted it was just past three. These were more serious nightmares, however. Stumbling out of bed, I crawled to my feet wearing sweat pants and an oversized t-shirt. I could see Yuki's crushed, mutilated body under the wreckage of a fallen mass-production Eva. The JSSDF had killed her parents, the bank manager I had come to consider a friend. Mr. Suzuki was begging for his life while a soldier put his rifle to his head, and pulled the trigger. Mrs. Suzuki screamed while she was pulled behind a building by two soldiers, her clothes torn from her body. Hiroshi was long since dead, near his sister. The way he died, however, disgusted me. I was the one who had crushed him under the foot of Unit-02.

I reached the door, the Jericho pistol in my hand. Cocking the hammer, I opened the door gradually. Major Misato Katsuragi stared at me, her eyes narrow in hate. "We have a situation," she stated curtly. Again one of those green portfolio folders was in her hand, the object I was beginning to connect with my fate. Ushering the major in, I guided her to a seat at the kitchen. Then she saw the pistol, and went for hers. "Is there a problem?"

Setting the weapon down on the kitchen counter, I reached into the fridge, poured myself a glass of orange juice, and took a heavy swig. "Misato, I have met nice people in this city. I didn't think it was possible. Everyone here, I thought, everyone who was supporting NERV... I _knew_ I couldn't trust them." The major didn't quite grasp what I was saying, until I turned to face her again, and she could see the beads of sweat rolling down my face, my hair tangled and unkempt from tossing in bed. "Those people need to be protected."

Misato's gaze hardened. "What are you talking about?"

"The JSSDF will attack, and they will not stop until everyone in NERV, even the Children, are dead. Seele will send the mass production Evas. They will try to start Third Impact, as will Commander Ikari." Misato glared, her eyes cold, unbelieving.

"And why would I trust you?"

"You won't, and you can't," I answered. Picking up the pistol, I glanced down the barrel, getting a very nervous reaction from Misato. "You wanted coffee?" Katsuragi just nodded slowly as I set the weapon down, fetched the pot, and poured a mug. Handing it to her, I glanced back at the gun, and the major followed my gaze. "It could be so much easier just to end it, you know? Not having any responsibility on future events, not having to warn people about what I know. More importantly, I wouldn't have the burden of knowing."

The major considered my words carefully, and took a sip from the mug. "Then why don't you?"

"I don't get depressed, Misato," I replied. "I just get mad."

She slid the green portfolio across the small kitchen table to my seat. Picking it up in my hands, I flipped it open. "I would prefer someone else," Misato said. "I would prefer anyone other than you, really. However, Shinji and Rei must stay here, as they are the only pilots left who can reliably defend us against the Angels. As for Asuka, well..."

Now I knew things were different. The satellite recon photo showed the remains of a NERV branch out in flat, desolate terrain, most of the buildings destroyed. In the center of those buildings, however, was a humanoid object. By the scale, however, it had to be incredibly large. Then it occurred to me. "This is Unit-04, isn't it?"

Misato nodded. "We're going to get it... now."

End of Chapter XV

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Comments/questions, please leave a review.

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	16. Chapter XVI: The Awaiting Demons

I do not own the rights to Neon Genesis Evangelion, or any of the characters, equipment, or locations written in this fanfiction. The purpose of this fanfiction is merely for the non-profit enjoyment of other readers. If requested by Gainax, Hideki Anno, or other parties which represent aforementioned objects in this story, I will remove it promptly.

**Chapter XVI:**

I yawned, waking from a deep sleep. My neck was craned at an odd angle against the back of the seat on the private jet. Winking, my left eye still taped down and covered, the glare of the interior lighting temporarily blinded me. Looking out of the window to my right, the moon was out, still in the first quarter of it's phase. Misato sat to my left, and nudged me in the shoulder. "We are just passing over California," she mentioned. "You slept through our refueling at San Francisco."

"It's been ten hours already?" I groaned, rubbing my right eye. The air conditioning system was still operating, inducing all the hairs on my arms to stand on end. Wearing a pair of blue jeans and one of the light pink shirts Maya insisted on buying, I had passed through security without question, although I had received a few odd stares for my eyepatch. Showing our NERV identification got us through without so much as a cursory inspection. Had I known that, I would have taken a weapon. However, the major felt more at ease when I left the Jericho at home.

"Yes," Misato answered. "Just another hour, and we will reach Third Branch."

"They really want us to take Unit-04 off their hands? Isn't there a pride issue?"

"Not really," the woman stated, staring straight ahead. "After the disaster with both of their production types, they never want to see an Eva again."

"I can't really blame them," I said. "I don't see an ethical issue, but having a walking bomb as your prized creation doesn't look so good on the resume. Still, I can't help thinking this feels like a setup."

Katsuragi turned to me. "Third Branch will not try anything, I promise. If they do, the Committee will take action."

"That's what I'm worried about. Don't you remember the Jet Alone incident?" Misato stared at me in surprise, her mouth beginning to part as if to ask how I knew, but she went back to staring ahead towards the cockpit. "Unit-03 and Unit-04 both proving unreliable? Both would have given First Branch an edge, especially against an invading force. I'll feel better once I'm certain there aren't any surprises waiting for me."

"You make a valid point," Misato sighed. "We will go over it with a brush."

"I believe you mean a fine-tooth comb."

Misato glared, then returned to staring ahead.

•••••••••••••

Unit-04 was nothing like the others. It was clean, uncontaminated from human souls. I thought I could almost detect a hint of that new car smell in the entry plug. More importantly, there were no residual thought patterns. According to Maya, every time one synchronized with the Eva, no matter how much the techs scrubbed the software, there would always be traces of thought noise and memories from the pilot present in the cache. That explained why each time I synchronized with Unit-02, it felt far more familiar than just getting used to the plug. But Unit-04 was different. It had never held a human pilot.

I would be the first, and the closest pilot to the Evangelion. "You and I will get along just fine," I breathed, running my hands over the entry plug controls. Misato seemed to give me an odd look, walking by the entry plug on the temporary scaffolding erected to access the Eva. The logistical support vehicles, including a heavy transport truck, had all arrived waiting for a qualified pilot. Now it was just up to us to check the systems, verify it was salvageable, and synchronize just long enough to set it on the truck.

"Should I leave you two alone?" Katsuragi teased.

I glared, then turned back to the controls. "This mission is just to retrieve the Eva, correct? You have no intention of my piloting Unit-04 in combat, do you?"

"Like I said, I would have preferred anyone other than you to do this," the major answered, carrying herself as though she were conducting a business meeting. "You still have yet to prove your loyalty." I thought the conversation ended, but just as I heard the woman's footsteps on the metal grating, she stopped and turned to face me again. "Thank you, for saving Rei."

"The consequences would have been too great otherwise," I stated coldly. The last comment caused Misato to raise an eyebrow, which I barely saw out of the corner of my eye. My vision in my right eye was bad, and while I had my goggles with me as I prepped the plug, they were uncomfortable out in the hot desert air.

The black plugsuit was almost unbearable under the Nevada sun, but I would be in the cool, refreshing L.C.L. soon enough. That was the first time I had ever considered L.C.L. refreshing, but anything was better than plastic and neoprene in the desert. It was ten more minutes before I signaled Misato with my report. "Everything is nominal," I said over the portable radio. "Let's get this over with. It's too hot in this suit."

•••••••••••••

All of the fans of Eva believe Unit-04 to be metallic gray, it's head similar to Unit-03. However, I must set the record straight. One look at Unit-04, and it made perfect sense how the mass-production series design was more of an evolutionary step. First, it was gray, but only gray primer because it had yet to be painted. Next, and more importantly, the shoulder palettes were reduced to half the normal length. The skeletonized, light-weight prog knives' handles were fully exposed, resting flush against the forward end of each palette, while the blades sat inside the protective armor. There was no automated linkage to retrieve the knives. All you had to do was reach up and grab them, pulling them from the sheath-like shoulder palettes. This feature, I had to say, was one of the better ideas incorporated in the last of the manually piloted production models.

The most distinctive feature, however, was the head. While similar in shape to Unit-03, there were no eyes. The trapezoidal, metallic teeth were painted in high visibility yellow, the kind of shade you'd see on a caution sign. Most of the head was extensively armored, everything streamlined and seamless. There were only two cavities below where the eyes would be, like a pit viper. I later found out they served as the wide angle foward looking infrared cameras. The main cavity of the skull was entirely taken up by a pulse-doppler radar assembly, similar to the MiG-29. Knowing I could identify thirty targets and lock on to twenty simultaneously to guide supporting ground or air-based smart weapons gave me a level of comfort that no other Evangelion could. Combined with an infrared laser designator good up to 2 kilometers, Unit-04 was the perfect ground support Eva.

"They were smart when they built this one," I muttered to myself. "They obviously wanted it to fight alongside a normal military force." But why had they built it to support ground troops instead of the form as Unit-03 took, as an infantry model? I had a theory of my own, but it was based on events yet to come. With Unit-04 assisting NERV ground units, the Eva could easily turn the tide of the upcoming battle for Tokyo-3. But Third Branch hadn't known about what would come, or had they? Perhaps this Eva was built to prevent the mass production models from having complete domination over the city. Then the fact it destroyed the second complex for Third Branch could be chocked up to sabotage by a Seele infiltrator.

But that didn't make any sense. Instead, I was considering the opposite. What if Unit 04 was truly meant to serve Seele, and it's sabotage was only temporary, to keep First Branch from acquiring it? Later, when we had given up on ever seeing it again, Seele could come back to Nevada and commandeer it as their own. One Eva against the others would be foolish, but given the capabilities of this Eva to coordinate attacks with ground and air units, a simultaneous attack by ground units severing the umbilical cables to the remaining Eva series and an S2 powered Eva as the brunt of the force would be unstoppable.

"You were meant to be our enemy, weren't you?" I asked, the entry plug screwing into place. Immediately I was at the controls, beginning the start-up procedures. The L.C.L. was being pumped in now, soaking my ankles, then my calves, and up to my knees. But that didn't stop me from completing my task. I had taken the extra effort to train. With Maya's assistance, I was able to bring Unit-02 fully online in under a minute with my eyes closed from the moment the hatch was sealed. It was possible because when inactive, the entry plug would store all of my commands in the cache memory until physical mating with the Eva was completed. The real trick was remembering all the switches and their meaning in both English and Japanese. But that was nothing regular drilling couldn't fix.

Fortunately for me, the entry plug brought along to activate Unit-04 was a spare for Unit-02. It lacked the equipment necessary to handle the radar and infrared inputs, but again that was not a problem. I would be guided to the truck bed by radio. Fifteen seconds later, the L.C.L. completely filled the cabin, and I was only two commands away from being completely operational. "Begin pre-synchronization proced-" Misato began.

"Unit-04 fully operational," I interrupted the major. "I read all necessary systems nominal." Ibuki giggled softly over the tac-radio. Misato switched to a visual display, her face pulled into an expression of surprise. "Weapons lock disengaged, ready to arm."

Maya checked the portable laptop, the lieutenant leaning against the side of the heavy transport truck cabin. "Thirty-two seconds," the brunette reported. "Excellent work, Delta-Five." Misato did not seem to understand at first, but Maya explained it to her. While they conversed in Japanese, I could see the purple-haired woman roll her eyes.

I had insisted on a codename to keep my identity secret during open radio transmissions. As the fourth pilot on active duty, designated the Fifth Child, Delta-Five seemed an appropriate choice. "Yes... I have to agree, _Delta-Five_," Misato growled. I knew regardless of my skill, they would never accept me as a real pilot. That was, until the report of the .30 caliber round sounded, puncturing the chest of one of the assistant technicians.

•••••••••••••

Immediately radio traffic was scrambled. The visual of Misato ducking behind the truck jumped to a blur, then static. While the Eva was completely operational, I had no means of communicating, or even seeing what was happening in the outside world. Well, I was not entirely cut off from the world, as I could hear the bullets bounce off the armor.

The transmission came back maybe three minutes later, an unknown man's voice speaking in clear English. "Pilot of the Evangelion, you will surrender the unit to us, or your commanding officer will die." The man was caucasian, in his early thirties, and was wearing a pixel-based desert camouflage uniform. The badges and printed text on his uniform clearly indicated he was in the Marines. He began to repeat in fluent Japanese, but that is when I interrupted him.

"I am an American citizen, and I speak fluent English," I grumbled. "Your execution of the trap was quite impressive. Let me guess, those were M40A1 rifles in .308 Winchester, supplemented by a sniper team using the M82-A1 Barrett, correct?"

The soldier stared at me, and grinned. "They train you well."

"That's no training from NERV," I answered curtly. "That's what I study up on for a hobby. Do you know if I can get my hands on a new FM 5-31 manual? The last edition I had was from back in 1965."

"I will not repeat myself, pilot! Maybe you will listen to your commanding officer. But you already know I speak fluent Japanese. Don't try anything funny!"

"Get this through your head. I don't speak Japanese!" The last comment both infuriated Misato and caught the soldier off-guard. Being shoved forward to the portable terminal, I could see a few purple bruises across Katsuragi's face. "Talk to me, Misato. What did they do to you and Maya?"

"Nothing... serious," she answered. Leaning forward, she tried to whisper into the microphone, but was swiftly jerked away by the soldier. "Don't let them win!" she screamed, taking a swift punch to the jaw. Once again the soldier came back into view, holding up an M9 Beretta.

"So, why the sudden change in tactics?" I grunted. "This isn't the pathetic, paramilitary force Clinton was trying to use to keep Monica out of the paper."

"What?" the soldier hollered.

"I mean, before America's armed forces were nothing but a joke, a tool of the corrupt United Nations." I smiled a sadistic, feral smile. "I like this change, but there's just one problem."

"Oh?"

"You're making me mad." I knew what I had to do, and being an untrustworthy pilot, there was no future with dignity for me, anyway. Reaching forward, I began to type in the commands for the self-destruct system. As I did so, however, the S2 drive immediately cut out, and the entry plug went dark. "Son of a..."

•••••••••••••

Again with the beatings. Why did it always have to be constant interrogation and beatings? Well, this time it was different. Shoving my head into a bucket of water, the soldier who addressed me before on the tac-radio held me under for nearly a minute, pulled me up, punched me in the stomach to knock the wind out of me, and then repeated the process. My lungs burned from exhaustion as the technique was repeated for nearly ten minutes straight.

What annoyed me even more was the fact I was still in my plugsuit, and on my knees in a compromising position. If I had a knife on hand, I would have introduced the soldier's kneecap to chronic arthritis. However, my hands were secured behind my back with handcuffs, so I couldn't even keep my head out of the rusted steel bucket. Jerking me back up by the nape of my neck, the man snarled, his rough, unshaven face inches from mine. "Well?"

Coughing, I took in each breath a little too vigorously, my head feeling dizzy. When I didn't respond, the soldier threw me across the concrete floor of one of the remaining hangers of Third Branch. I landed hard on my back and smacked my head against the floor. The concrete was cool in the shade of the ruined buildings, and I was exhausted. Before he could ask again, I was fast asleep.

I woke sometime later, the sun beginning to dip below the horizon of the desert. I could hear sobbing nearby, and opening my eye, saw Maya to my right. Her khaki uniform jacket was torn in several places along the sleeves, small cuts staining her clothes with traces of blood. Her face was also bruised, and from what it appeared, her nose was bent out of shape.

Then I noticed the trousers, which were not part of the normal uniform. No, these were olive drab green, and were clearly from a soldier's battle dress. The fact Ibuki wasn't wearing any shoes, either stood out in my mind. Sitting up, the pain in my abdomen returned. I had been punched way too many times for my own good. But Maya needed someone, and turning my head, I noticed Misato was nowhere to be seen.

"Are you okay?" I asked. The brunette just shook her head, wrapping her crossed arms tighter around her chest. Now I was starting to get angry. I knew what they had done, and depending on how cooperative Misato was, they would most likely do the same to her. I clenched my handcuffed fists, frustrated that I was mad, and I couldn't even punch anything to take off the edge. Then it came to me. The way Maya was hugging herself, her hands were free.

"Maya," I whispered. "Where is Misato?"

Ibuki started to shudder, and pointed to a bunker not a hundred yards away. "They... they want you next..."

Clenching my teeth, I hissed just above a whisper. "Yeah..." There were pieces of re-bar and steel conduit scattered over the floor. "Maya, can you get me a hacksaw, a pair of bolt cutters, or anything?" Maya stared at me in confusion. I always wondered just how much English she knew. Of course she wouldn't know the words I needed to say. As a result, I tried to stand up, and jostled my wrists. "To cut these," I said. "Need something to cut."

Maya understood, but was hesitant. "Maya, listen to me," I grunted. "We will take them... one by one."

End of Chapter XVI

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Comments/questions/suggestions for what to put here, write a review.

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	17. Chapter XVII: Punishment

I do not own the rights to Neon Genesis Evangelion, or any of the characters, equipment, or locations written in this fanfiction. The purpose of this fanfiction is merely for the non-profit enjoyment of other readers. If requested by Gainax, Hideki Anno, or other parties which represent aforementioned objects in this story, I will remove it promptly.

**Chapter XVII:**

It is a disturbing sound, hearing a man gasp after a bullet is put into him. But for our situation, it was a necessary sound, a joyous sound. Knowing one more of those vermin was on the ground in pain gave me another dose of pleasure. They had hurt Maya, and when I finally convinced the lieutenant to cut through the handcuffs with the dulled hacksaw we found in the rubble of the hangar, I made sure her attackers were the first to hit the ground.

It was an interesting experience, using the rusted conduit to bludgeon and strangle the first two grunts. I took their rifles, all of their ammo, and waited for them. They eventually awoke some minutes later, as I had not used killing blows. But that was more for what came next.

"Smile," I growled, shoving the barrel of one of the M4 carbines into the taller soldier's mouth. I pulled the trigger slowly, taking pleasure in feeling the crisp, single stage action. The muzzle flash lit the man's cheeks from the inside, as if he held a flashlight up to his lips. They were red first, and they were red again as his throat and mouth exploded into a geyser of ruptured tissue. I felt the man's blood splatter my plugsuit, and while I stood shaking from the realization of what I had done, I had no desire to stop.

There were more coming now. Hearing their voices call out like the coyotes off in the distance, it made me want to hurt them. Maya was by my side every step of the way, every round I pumped into my prey. She wasn't comfortable with defending herself if it meant hurting someone. That is why she was hurt, and why I suggested after we returned that she reconsider her position. But for the time I was lining up the targets in the metallic sights, emptying clip after clip, it was nice to know she was there. With her beside me, I knew no one would be able to sneak up from behind without knowing about it.

About five men were dead by the time we made it to the bunker where they defiled the female techs. "Don't come any closer!" the soldier from before yelped. Again he put the M9 Beretta to Misato's head. I had never dropped the rifle from my shoulder, preferring to keep anything I saw safely on the harmful end of the weapon. "Put it down!"

"Look at you, barking orders from a position of weakness," I hissed. "Very stupid." Of course, we had observed them for a long time before making our move. The bad seeds of the platoon that ambushed us convinced the others to leave before they had their way with the major. It was one thing to force a lieutenant, but once they got above the rank of captain, the men were picky about who they messed with. "Your men are dead." I could hear Ibuki vomiting a few yards away as I kicked the decapitated head of one of the privates over to the soldier. The skull bobbed as it rolled towards him. It was when the remains stared back at his commanding officer that Misato began to shiver. "Drop the weapon."

He did not back down, which made things complicated. "You won't sacrifice your superior officer," he smiled, his disgusting smile making me even more angry. Flipping the action selector switch to three round burst, I didn't hesitate. His gun arm was held out and away from Misato, and while it did put the barrel snugly against the major's scalp, it gave me a target. Very stupid move of his, but it was to my advantage.

Three bullets into one's arm has a way of making a man talk. The M9 discharged, but thankfully the bullet just grazed Misato's forehead. There was a cut, and a bit of powder burns, but nothing that kept Katsuragi from smashing her right elbow into the man's face. Her eyes were still wide in fear as she began to slow her breathing, standing beside me. Misato's red flight jacket was slightly torn, but otherwise it seemed nothing had happened. She did not understand, however, why I continued to advance.

"Susan, it's over," she breathed. She set her hand on my shoulder. I guess the adrenaline was really running, or I just didn't feel like socializing at the time, because I snapped. Turning my head to glance over my shoulder, I raised the butt of the rifle to eye level, threatening to bash her head in. Katsuragi was immediately three steps away. I had never seen that expression on her face before, and I wish to never see it again.

I turned back to the soldier, and squeezed the trigger once. Three rounds was not enough, however, and I continued to pump the trigger until the entire magazine was empty. "SUSAN!" Misato screamed. The major was comforting Maya, the lieutenant's stomach now empty. Glaring back at the both of them, I turned back to the body of the fallen soldier. His jet black hair and tanned skin were stained red, while his eyes were dully staring back. "Susan, what... what the HELL?"

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't speak. Instead, I just walked towards Unit-04. I was originally planning to activate the Eva, and hope I could at least use the AT-Field as some kind of defense for the remaining recovery crew. However, until I had some kind of weapon to effectively fight the enemy, there was no other option but to run. The words finally came. "We will retreat after we eliminate the rest of the platoon. Make sure to take any provisions and weaponry you can."

•••••••••••••

Misato and Maya stared up at me while I climbed the scaffolding, the Barrett M107, the upgraded version of the M82A1, strapped to my back. It was a horrible burden, as the rifle weighed thirty-two pounds. I nearly lost my grip on the aluminum rungs of the scaffolding ladder once or twice, and when I finally reached the top, I had to roll onto my back, taking a sharp breath. I was convinced from that point on, I would have to resume my exercise regimen that I had started a year before at college.

Setting the rifle down on the platform, I flipped the skeletonized bipod open, removed the tinted lens covers from the fifteen power scope, and racked the action back. The huge .50 caliber Browning Machine Gun round fed perfectly, the crisp sound of metal snapping together bringing back fond memories of target practice. Finally, and most importantly, I fumbled with the earplugs. Anyone who's fired a .50 caliber knows earplugs do very little, but it beats going deaf.

The convoy was closer now, though they weren't in any hurry. I reminded myself these were the good guys, and while they were close enough to hear the gunfire, they must have highly doubted anything would happen. From what Maya told me, the killing of the technicians wasn't until after the platoon split up. Perhaps they were reporting in, or maybe checking through the wreckage of the base, as Third Branch had extended for miles.

I knew the mil-dot reticle scope could be used to calculate an estimated range, and I had done this with a cheap four-power scope for a .22 rifle once, but I couldn't remember the elevation drop of the .50 BMG, nor did I know the exact angle measured for each tick mark in the reticle. However, I was guessing, as this was an anti-material rifle meant for sniping that the scope would be zeroed in for about 200 meters, maybe more. Looking closely through the scope, I counted two H1 type Hummers, and a badly worn LAV. I guess there were parallels with this world and mine, after all, including the development of military equipment. But I would have expected some VTOL aircraft, or some new advancements rather than relying on such old technology.

I mentioned this to Misato later on, and she explained how all of the world's resources had gone towards Eva. America had just been one of those first world nations who had lost. However, I knew it was more than blind luck that the United Nations took everything my homeland had to pay for these playthings of Seele. Glaring through the scope, knowing what I had to do, I made a promise to myself I would pay Seele back in full.

When the first Hummer reached what I guessed to be two hundred meters, I fired my first shot. A .50 caliber, for those who don't know, kicks so hard the typical gun enthusiast will bring along some sandbags to help support the weapon. However, the Barrett has an extra dampening cylinder built into the buttstock, much like the AR-15. Throw in the muzzle break, and while it didn't lighten the recoil up enough to be pleasant, it was bearable. The picture in the scope jumped, and all the accumulated dust on the scaffolding platform flew in every direction. When the platform came to rest, I glanced back through the scope.

The first Hummer veered off to the right, but while my bullet found it's way into the cabin through the windshield, I didn't inflict any casualties. One of the men in the Hummer was crawling out through the hole in the roof, an M-249 Squad Automatic Weapon mounted on a pivoting axis. This would be my next target. Two rounds later, the man was a collection of reddish, ragged tissue dangling limply from the roof.

The vehicles came to a stop now, including the LAV. Again, while driving into enemy fire was not a bright idea, coming to a dead stop wasn't that smart, either. This time I hit my targets more or less. Soldiers from the two other Hummers leapt out into the desert, and firing wildly into the night, they advanced to retrieve the fallen. A few of their bullets passed close, as it didn't take a rocket scientist to guess where the gunfire could be coming from. I had

I had seven rounds left. Taking my time, I killed those who were exposed to the open, and after I was sure they were down, started to unload on the second Hummer now parked behind the first. My heart was pounding in my chest, and I could feel a cold sweat between my palms and the stock of the rifle. The plugsuit felt itchy against my skin. I felt horrible doing what I was doing, but showing weakness was not part of my agenda. I had to appear calm, ruthless, and precise in my actions. If I wasn't, the enemy or my peers could use my emotions and my weaknesses against me.

The first magazine was out. Ejecting it, I slapped another in, giving me ten more rounds. The ammunition was heavy, so I only took tow magazines. After this, I would be out. But that's why I was on the scaffolding. The techs and Misato below could do what they wanted when the soldiers came. I planned to be in the Eva, and figuring out how to get out of Dodge. Yes, it was cruel of me, but going out of my way to help others would only get me shot. In the most heartless of rationale, as a pilot, I was also the most valuable member of the team there. If I was killed, the Eva could not functio. Even if they wanted to defend themselves, without Unit-04, Misato, Maya, and the other women would eventually have to surrender.

Now I heard shooting from the ground below, and I started to consider climbing into the entry plug. However, glancing down over the edge, I noticed a short-haired brunette with an M-16A2 rifle in her hand. While her air was inaccurate, I had to admit Ibuki was doing quite well at keeping the enemy pinned down. Smiling faintly, I turned back to the distasteful task at hand. Against the LAV, unless we had a Javelin or M72 LAWS rocket launcher, there would be no way to penetrate the armor. Engaging the safety on the rifle, I crawled to the entry plug, trying to keep my silhouette to a minimum.

Shoving the weapon into the plug, I scrambled in between the exchanges of gunfire. It had gotten louder, especially when someone in the LAV started returning .50 caliber rounds from the turret-mounted M2 Browning. There was minimal power left in the batteries, as the plug insertion actuators moved more slowly, and the L.C.L. pumps whirred at a lower pitch. I wasn't in the plug for more than thirty seconds before the tac-radio burst into static and gunfire, an indistinct woman shouting faintly over the noise.

"What are you doing?" Katsuragi shrieked. There was minimal power, so I switched to an audio-only message. For the moment I saw Misato pinning the headset from the portable terminal to her ear, I knew she wouldn't be able to hear what I said. Frantically searching, I eventually found the controls I had been searching for. The public address speaker was so intense, I could hear it reverberate in the cockpit.

"I need S2 drive and FLIR now!" I shouted.

Misato tried to shout back, but I could hardly make it out. It was a another two minutes before I got my response, as the reserve power indicator digits went to eights. The L.C.L. pumps sped up, the fluid losing it's metallic taste. Another thirty seconds, and I had primed all systems. It was then I could feel unfamiliar thoughts creep into the back of my head.

My vision went black, and I felt suddenly drowsy.

•••••••••••••

I was back in the center of Highway 16 again, the midday sun beating down harshly. Turning around, I heard the tone of a lumpy V8 idle. I had nearly turned around completely when I noticed my red GTO, parked in the gravel shoulder of the west-bound lane. The driver side door was open, and I could see a figure sitting in the passenger seat. A sudden chill in my right hand caused me to look down, and there was the infamous Smith and Wesson revolver. Opening the cylinder, it was filled with all six rounds. Snapping the cylinder closed again, I stepped cautiously to the driver side door.

I leaned over, the revolver held out in front of me as I peered into the car. An unknown caucasian woman with long brunette hair and a blue formal dress sat in the passenger seat. "I thought you would be more willing to talk if you felt more in control," she said in a soft, calm voice. I nodded in agreement. "Please, have a seat."

Cautiously crawling into the driver seat, I was still in the plugsuit, and the hot vinyl upholstery bled it's heat through the protective layers, burning my skin. "Can we drive?" I asked. "It will feel cooler if we get some moving air in here." The woman nodded silently, and closing the door, I put the car into gear, fastened only the lap belt, and opening the revolver's cylinder again, dumped all the ammo out of the driver side window.

"Was that really necessary?" she asked.

"I may be gullible, but I'm not _that_ stupid," I answered calmly. Pressing gently on the accelerator, I checked my blind spots, signaled, and pulled out onto the highway. "Alright, you're obviously an echo of either the Fifteenth or Sixteenth Angel. Which is it?"

"Why are you so gentle with this vehicle?" the woman asked. "From your memories of other people handling this car, and your, how do you say, taste in movies, shouldn't you drive faster?"

"There are laws that prevent me from doing that," I explained.

"But you have no problem killing and manipulating others."

I glared at the woman, then checked the gauges. Satisfied the engine was staying within operating temperature and the oil was as proper pressure, I kept my eyes on the road. "I kill to defend myself, and who said I didn't have a problem with it? As for manipulating others, I am dealing with people who break the law already. It is cruel, and borderline illegal itself, but I deserve to look after my own interests." She seemed confused, but I didn't give her time to think about it. "This vehicle, or any vehicle I handle, are pieces of precision equipment that must be handled delicately like fine wine to bring out their true potential. I follow the traffic laws not just because it's the right thing to do, but because one should treat their car like they would a pet or a child."

"You are a strange person," the woman spoke softly. "The other, Asuka Soryu, is not like you at all."

"So, you _are_ the Fifteenth!"

"Neither is Rei Ayanami."

I stared at the road ahead, but now I was troubled. "You have seen the minds of _both_ of them? Okay, then you are either both the Fifteenth and Sixteenth, or one of you gave the other some vital information."

The woman smiled. "The others don't seem to realize what is happening as well as you do. But we both know why that is, don't we?" I could see out of the corner of my eye the woman stretching slightly in the bucket seat, setting her hands in her lap. "Tell me, though, why do you wish to fight us?"

"Well, from what I know, your kind is here to join with the one we call Adam. If that happens, I have been informed my kind will be completely annihilated from the result. However, if we win, and we join with Lillith, your kind will vanish. Of course, even if we don't, you will not stop your attacks, and we will have to kill you anyway." I took a short breath, glanced back at the gauges, and then back at the road ahead. "You don't seem to be the kind to negotiate, and what we are fighting for, we cannot simply divide evenly like territory. This is for all or nothing."

She nodded again. "And you realize why we are still one, don't you?"

"You're probably planning to use me as a medium to reach Adam," I grumbled back. "You could take over Unit-04 now, but you're too far away from your objective. Also, the Eva will be willingly sacrificed if there is even the slightest indication of your presence. However, in me, if you are patient, I won't be so easily executed. At least, not as long as I cooperate, and don't tell anyone you are here, right?"

"Had my body not been destroyed, our merging would be far more thorough, and I would have enjoyed getting to know you better."

I gave a false smile, and checked the side mirror. "We can still have pleasant discussions, but I would prefer you not dig too deeply into my memories. As individuals, the Lillim prefer privacy."

"I will never understand," she sighed. "You Lillim prefer not to be alone, but you prefer privacy. There is this contradiction, and yet a longing to be permanently with another."

"There are ways to be content with someone, but not literally merged as one. Besides, sometimes we Lillim need time to be alone, even away from the people we love." I thought about the girlfriend I had left behind, and hoped I would be able to meet her again. But now was not the time for hopes. I was supposed to be settling a score with a certain military unit. "There is one last question I have, but then we have to focus on dealing with those-"

"Yes, those men outside," she sighed. "You can be far too diligent sometimes. But go ahead, what's the question?"

"That time during the conference, my eyes changed color, and I was far less cautious with expressing my beliefs. Are you the cause?"

"No," the woman, or Angel, answered. "You have a favorite fictional character known as the Shadow, correct?"

"Yes," I answered, though I could see where this was going.

"Our merging, from our point of view, is a gift. We have been given a chance to survive and complete our objective, while you have been given certain gifts that, while nowhere near the Eva or Ayanami, can be used to gain an advantage." She closed her eyes, leaning back into the seat, and considered her words carefully. "What you saw is what you wished to become: the physical expression of _your_ Shadow. But we have no more time. Our enemy is close, and Lillim's puppet is ready."

As the world faded back into my vision, I could see the black and white infrared image on the primary display of the entry plug. "This could be very interesting," I grinned.

•••••••••••••

End of Chapter XVII

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Comments/questions/suggestions for what to put here, write a review.

•••••••••••••


	18. Chapter XVIII: To Live in Darkness

I do not own the rights to Neon Genesis Evangelion, or any of the characters, equipment, or locations written in this fanfiction. The purpose of this fanfiction is merely for the non-profit enjoyment of other readers. If requested by Gainax, Hideki Anno, or other parties which represent aforementioned objects in this story, I will remove it promptly.

**Chapter XVIII:**

Very little of what took place out in the desert would ever be revealed to the public. Even if it was, not many would believe it. A few women with small arms and a giant robot crushing a platoon with armor support, somehow outmaneuvering all searches by one of the largest military forces in the world, and inconspicuously returning to Tokyo-3 by an aircraft carrier that was reported by all major channels as being at least three-thousand miles away from where it retrieved us is a hard story to swallow. I knew it happened, however, because I had experienced it.

More importantly, Kensuke knew it, too. However, he did not act in his usual manner, pestering me for details. A week before I began class, he escorted me around the campus for a day, answered my questions, and generally behaved like a gentleman. I had asked him specifically to get me acquainted with the school, as I could not trust the others. While Hikari could have easily done the job, she and I were far from being on friendly terms.

"Susan," Kensuke spoke up timidly. A few girls in their turquoise jumpers pointed and giggled as we made our way along the courtyard to the parking lot at the end of the day. Aida and I made an odd pair, him dressed in typical short sleeved dress shirt and slacks, while I, as a female, committed the ultimate sin of wearing a man's suit and tie. The eyepatch didn't help, either, causing a few more stares, some from people to my left that I couldn't see. But I knew they were reacting, because Kensuke, standing on my right, would scowl as the girls began their teasing. Turning to face him, I noticed his eyes were focused on the ground not a foot in front of him. "What... happened, with Shinji, I mean?"

"What do you mean?" I asked. "Is something wrong?"

"I thought you would know, because you pilots spend more time together."

I shook my head slightly. "I was overseas for a couple days." Looking over my shoulder, I noticed a couple men in black suits off in the distance. "I can't say anymore about it, so don't ask. But I haven't been around for a while, and I have a place of my own, so I haven't seen Shinji." Thinking for a moment, I recalled how his behavior seemed to shift between highs and lows, mostly lows, throughout the series. "Why? What's the problem?"

Kensuke sighed, shaking his head. "He doesn't go to school much anymore, and he won't speak to me." Aida pushed his glasses back up to the bridge of his nose, and looked mournfully out towards the horizon as we walked back to my place. "Did something happen... at NERV, I mean?"

"The last couple battles have been... very dicey," I sighed. "Every time we go out there, we might not ever come back, and we may take half the city with us." Coming to a stop, and turning to see the girls pointing and cringing. "There's just one more, but it will be the toughest."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because it will be a friend." Kensuke shuddered, and started to walk away. Just before he left, I reached out to his hand. It was an awkward gesture, and one I would never have done as myself, but I had to play the role of a hormone-driven girl. "Just one last thing, Kensuke." He seemed to blush as he spun around in disbelief. "When it starts to go down, can I ask you to get Shinji, Asuka, and Rei out of here?"

"I... don't have the resources," he began to say, before I handed him the keys to a certain black Section Two van I had thought of disposing somewhere, but then had the better sense to hide after the Fifteenth Angel. "What... what is this?"

"Ever wanted to drive a Section Two van?" I asked. "Don't worry, I can teach you."

•••••••••••••

Ritsuko was back when I got home later that night. It had been nearly three days since I saw her. Setting my sneakers off to the corner of the entry way the second I stepped inside, I closed and locked the door with the two deadbolts I had installed. "How was the trip?" I asked.

I heard a loud, exhausted groan from the kitchen. "Everything is done," she sighed. "You really needed me to buy that real estate?" When I nodded, she just shook her head. "What could you possibly need it for? It's out in the countryside, away from civilization!"

"You just answered your own question," I replied.

"And your other purchase will arrive in a couple weeks."

"I'll need to find a place to work on it. What kind of shape is it in?"

"I did as you asked, and hired a mechanic to help check it over. It is in good shape, and what little needs to be fixed, they told me the parts are still available." I walked into the kitchen, washed my hands, and began to prep for dinner. "But why did you need it? There are plenty of cars in town, and you're not even old enough to drive."

"It's a classic, and one of the faster cars of it's time," I answered. "Also, I have some business to attend to that requires, shall we say, an unassuming performance car?" Akagi glared at me, but just shrugged her shoulders. She had pretty much given up on trying to keep me out of trouble. "I need something fast, but classy and inconspicuous so no one tries to bother me. Besides, did I mention one of my old managers had that car? Well, he had an earlier model in mint condition."

"It's going to get stolen," Ritsuko muttered under her breath.

"Not if I take some rather... creative precautions."

Ritsuko shook her head. "What did you get me into?"

The two of us sat down for a quiet dinner, each of us reflecting on our own problems. That was, until Ritsuko brought up a particularly touchy subject. "Maya informed me about the recovery mission of Unit-04," she said flatly, setting her chopsticks aside. I winced, but it at least gave me some time to put the chopsticks down, as I still couldn't use them effectively. I learned the continental dining method for handling a knife and fork. That I could live with, but two sticks you had to handle like tweezers, especially for rice or smaller food particles, was just out of the question.

"Do you want to tell me why?" she asked.

"Why, what?" I replied.

"You _killed_ all those people," she grumbled, glancing down at the right side of the table. "But you couldn't stop them from violating Maya and the others, could you? You had to wait until the damage was done." She turned back to glare at me, her eyes beginning to tear. "You had to have an excuse to murder them, so you did nothing, right?"

"If you don't know what you're talking about, shut your mouth!" I hollered. Ritsuko leaned back into her chair, her eyes wide. "I'm sorry I didn't just run out like Errol Flynn, but I was a _little_ preoccupied being drowned and tortured! Did Maya mention that, or did she leave that part out?"

Ritsuko frowned, her face relaxing into a depressed expression. "I'm not a miracle worker, Doctor. If there was anything I could have done, I would have never let them so much as look at Maya." She didn't seem to believe me, and just left, leaving her food on the table. I stared down at the rest of the food. Even with a side of chili, it just wasn't looking too appetizing.

Before I had a chance to clear the table, the phone rang. Ritsuko still couldn't understand what I saw in the touch-tone phone styled after the classic '30s rotary design, especially when there were cheaper phones with voice messaging and cordless handsets available. The mechanical bell rang again just before I reached the end table in the living room. Switching on the nearby desk lamp, its warm, yellowish glow filling the dark void of the room, I answered the call.

"Ikari residence," I hesitantly stated, fumbling with the words. It was still difficult to speak in Japanese. Sometimes I would find myself slipping back into English, or even speaking what little Spanish I could remember whenever trying to converse in the national language. Whenever this happened, I would always mentally chant "You _must_ think in Russian!"

"Su-Susan?" a shaky, high-pitched voice asked. I couldn't place it at first, but then I heard the distinctive background noise of Misato's apartment. It mainly consisted of Misato's slurred yelps, dishes being thoroughly scrubbed, and on occasion, Asuka's Germanic curses. This time, however, the sounds from the kitchen were not part of the background.

"Shinji?" I asked.

"Umm, yes..." Shinji answered. His voice was still unsteady, but he seemed more relieved once I recognized him. "Can we... meet?"

•••••••••••••

I arrived at the Katsuragi apartment sometime around nine o'clock at night. Shinji cringed as he answered the door. "Is that... you?" he asked. Misato was at the door in a matter of seconds, glaring at me. Slowly, however, she went back to her late dinner as Shinji gestured for me to enter. "Asuka... not well," he continued.

"You want me to talk with Asuka?" I asked. Ikari nodded, and sighing, I followed him back to the German's room. He knocked on the door, which returned nothing but shouting from the other end of the door. Obviously the redhead didn't want to be disturbed. "Hey, open up! We know where you live!"

The violent response Shinji and I received was not as bad as it could have been. Soryu tossed a shredded pillow out through the thin paper door, splintering the frame. "Asuka!" Misato yelled. "That's coming out of your pay!" But there were no muffled grunts of recognition, hate, or otherwise from the Second Child's room. Pushing the broken door aside, I walked in.

"Asuka, we need to talk... again," I stated coldly. The room was completely dark. Even the moonlight was blocked outside by the curtains being drawn shut. Only the light from the hallway filtered in through the door's remains. It was enough to make out the remains of the room, and all the torn, dented, and broken possessions of the girl scattered over the floor. "You want to pilot that bad?"

In the distance, I saw two cold, blue eyes staring back in anger. "I said, do you want to pilot?" I asked again. I could see the eyes move diagonally in the pitch black void. She must have been lying on her bed, her body propped up at an angle, nodding. "Then get your identification, and come with me. We're going to settle this like men."

Shinji cringed watching the redhead and I stride out of the room with deliberate, aggressive steps. "Where are you going?" Misato huffed, blocking our passage out of the hallway.

"We're going to headquarters, and we will synch with the Eva," I grunted. "I don't care how long it takes, or who we have to threaten to get this done. We _will_ get our synch ratios up." Misato blocked our path with her left arm, but I returned the favor with an elbow strike to her solar plexus. She wheezed, and fell to the floor. "You owe me, Major!" I snapped. "You owe me for Nevada, for Rei, and for Ritsuko. Don't you DARE interfere!"

Asuka and Shinji stared in surprise, but the redhead was the first to respond, following me out of the apartment. We were both about five feet from the door when I heard the hollow click of a double action pistol's hammer being pulled back. We froze, but I would not allow Asuka to be stopped so easily. "You won't shoot me, Misato," I snarled. "You aren't that evil."

I wanted desperately to turn around, but I knew if I did, my actions could be considered hostile, or more importantly, it would be seen as an act of weakness. Asuka hesitated, but followed me. "You can't!" the major growled. "You are still suspended."

"Then get me back on active duty, Major. I don't have time for games." Now I decided to turn and face her. "The last Angel will be sent by Seele, specifically to stop Commander Ikari. The battle will take place _inside_ headquarters. Do you understand what I am saying?"

"That doesn't mean a thing!" Misato said, hesitating. Her Jericho pistol shook in her hands, the woman unsure of what to do. "You can't disobey orders, no matter what you know!"

"But aren't you yourself questioning NERV? Or are you just going to let Kaji's death be in vain?" I chose those words carefully, knowing full well it would strike a nerve for both Asuka and Misato. Watching the two react was interesting. Soryu's jaw dropped, while Misato slowly lowered her pistol, and dejectedly glanced down at the floor. "Face it, Misato. Second Impact, the sacrifice of Toji, as well as millions of others were all for Seele's desire to establish themselves as gods over man. You really think you can trust them?"

Shinji stood frozen, about five feet from Katsuragi. It was like watching a computer frozen in the middle of an operation. He knew what he wanted to do, but he lacked the courage to do it. For a brief moment, my eye and his met. I watched him cringe, wanting to run to his room for safety. "Shinji, do it." Then came the line I never wanted to say, as I thought Shinji was in the right throughout the series. "Do not run away from this."

Shinji glared at me with a hate I had never seen in him before. It was clear we were the same. "I am _not_ running away!" he shouted. At least he knew that phrase in English. I nodded to him, and slowly, cautiously, he knelt by Misato. It took a full two minutes according to clock on the kitchen wall, but eventually he wrapped his arms around the major.

"Shin-ji?" Misato squeaked, beginning to blush. Slowly, however, the boy relaxed, holding Katsuragi in his arms. They were frail, weak arms, but they offered warmth. The major looked up at Asuka and I, glaring. "What can you possibly do?"

"We are pilots," I stated coldly, baring my teeth in a feral snarl. "The ultimate weapon to win the war is in our hands. Mankind's destiny is ours to control, and we will deliver swift, ruthless justice." I saw Soryu stare at me, her eyes wide. If she thought I was just blowing smoke, she didn't now. "We will bathe in our enemies' blood, and make them afraid."

Asuka walked out of the apartment with me, all the hairs on her neck standing on end. "Where do we begin?" she asked.

End of Chapter XVIII

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Comments/questions/suggestions for what to put here, write a review.

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	19. Chapter XIX: Twilight of the Soul

I do not own the rights to Neon Genesis Evangelion, or any of the characters, equipment, or locations written in this fanfiction. The purpose of this fanfiction is merely for the non-profit enjoyment of other readers. If requested by Gainax, Hideki Anno, or other parties which represent aforementioned objects in this story, I will remove it promptly.

**Chapter XIX:**

Misato may be many things, but she was smart enough to understand when an ally arrives, no matter how terrifying they are, you support them. Fuyutsuki awaited our arrival at the primary checkpoint, as well as several guards. Asuka was allowed to pass, but I was forcibly restrained and frisked. "This goes against everything I believe," the aging professor grumbled, his eyebrows pulled down in anger. "You are too dangerous for a pilot."

The soldiers released me, and forcefully shoved me towards the turnstyle. "Then why are you doing this?"

"I trust Major Katsuragi's judgment," he answered. "Commander Ikari wants to see you before you proceed to the Cage."

The trip to Rokubungi's office was unpleasant to say the least. The entire complement of guards, their MP-5Ns aimed at me, followed the sub-commander and I down the corridors to an alternate, highly secure passageway to the commander's office. This had no elevators, no junctions, and no critical utility junction boxes. It was a solid, heavily armored corridor, and there were heavy airlock doors almost every twenty feet. Then I remembered that _this_ was the one passageway they always showed in the series, the various hatches sealing once the base went to red alert.

The office, I estimated, was a mile away from the beginning of this corridor, as it took nearly a half an hour to reach it at a brisk pace. The hall dipped to a steady, gentle incline. Finally, we reached the end of the corridor, and an alternate set of heavy doors to the commander's office. The guards followed us in, a few of them lowering the night vision glasses rigged on their helmets. Fuyutsuki blinked, squinting in the darkness. Myself, however, I had a trick up my sleeve for this very scenario.

The eyepatch served a tactical as well as medical purpose. Given forty minutes in complete darkness, the visual purple in the human eye will build up, making that person a few thousand times more light sensitive than they are in normal daylight. That is the maximum saturation level of visual purple, and since my eye had been both taped down and covered for days, I was more than capable of seeing in that room. Moving my hands slowly to my face, I removed the eyepatch, and gently pulled the tape away from my skin.

"Major Katsuragi informs me you want to begin harmonics testing with the Second Child," Rokubungi announced. "You are still under observation, and I will not have my decisions questioned!" He was about to continue when he must have noticed I had removed the eyepatch, and quickly replaced my glasses. "What are you doing?"

"I effectively have enough light sensitivity in my bad eye to see you, as well as that pathetic nine millimeter you have pointed at me," I grinned. "Don't tell me you're afraid of the dark."

Gendo scowled. "Do you know what the punishment is for disobeying a direct order?"

"I assume for NERV that it is death," I answered simply. Rokubungi nodded, and it was then I knew how to approach the situation. Fuyutsuki nervously twitched next to me as I clenched my fists. "Tell me, Commander, can you get decent cell phone reception in here?"

"Why?" he grumbled.

"Do you know where Rei is?" This seemed to get the man's attention, causing him to shift uncomfortably behind his desk. "You probably know I've gone to some of the weapon bazaars in the ruins of the industrial district. I have a friend down there. He has a family and not enough income from his job to keep them well fed."

"Stop wasting my time," Rokubungi snarled, and gestured towards the guards. The men raised their weapons, aiming towards my chest.

"If I don't make a phone call every 12 hours, once during the morning, and another at night..."

"He could not possibly get to Rei," the commander growled.

"Did I mention educators make horrible wages?"

Kouzou stared at me, his jaw hanging in surprise. Gendo simply hissed, and I noticed for the first time his left hand was no longer covered in it's usual glove. "What do you want?" he snapped.

"I'll take the psych evaluation, but I want it today. You people have been wasting my time. Also, I want the Second Child to train on Unit-04 as well as Unit-02. The S2 drive will be mission critical if hostilities between the Committee and NERV continue to exist. The 'old men' as you refer to them are many things, but not complacent."

•••••••••••••

The psych evaluation was just like any other medical exam to me. It was boring, but in a way it was pleasant. It went from pleasant to amusing when the psychologist started to give his assessment. "You have a bit of a temper, but otherwise, you seem perfectly fine." The black haired man was Japanese American who had moved to Tokyo-3, much like the Suzuki family. He was tall and lean, with very thin facial features. "That temper, however, could cause some serious problems. I would like to schedule regular appointments at least once a week."

"Actually, I've already had a similar talk with another psychologist and some family members," I answered. "I find a little distraction to take my mind off things works well enough. Do you know if there is a rec center or gym in headquarters that I may use?" The psychologist sighed, and I knew immediately he was going to start his whole song and dance to sign me up for more sessions. "That, or a nice trip to the target range every once in a while. I tell you, there is nothing like hand loading your own ammunition, and getting to test it. You know what it's like to handle a .357 Magnum?"

Funny how I was doing so well up to that point.

•••••••••••••

"You have to be kidding me!" Asuka whined. "I am _not_ piloting Unit-04! You can handle that death trap for all I care!" I found it rather difficult to convince even myself that Unit-04 was entirely safe, so I couldn't argue with the redhead. However, it was important for her to understand the need for Unit-04, particularly with the S2 drive. Staring into the display at Maya's terminal, I took a deep breath, and readied my argument.

"If an Evangelion is captured by an Angel or a hostile invasion force, it may be used against us. If that Eva happens to be Unit-01, which is now equipped with a stable S2 drive, we will be at a disadvantage unless Unit-04 is fully operational." Soryu began to protest, but I interrupted her. "Also, we are using Unit-04 as a control group to test your ability to synch with another production model. If it is Unit-02 acting up, then we will see a difference here."

The German seemed to cringe, squirming in the seat of the entry plug. At least now the techs had gotten the spare Unit-02 plug to display the pulse doppler radar and infrared data for the pilot. There was nothing worse than trying to pilot blind. "I'm not so sure about this..." Asuka hesitantly spoke. "No... I-I can't do this!" Glancing at Maya, I nodded towards the headset. Sighing, the lieutenant agreed, switching off the overhead speakers, and going to the headset. Removing her headset, Maya stood up from her station, and left me to deal with the Second Child.

"Asuka, there's no one listening except me now," I said. "What's up?"

"I'm... not discussing it with you, Fifth!"

"Either you talk to me, or we leave you in that plug and make you talk to Misato. Now which is it going to be?"

Asuka paused, then very timidly stated her question. "What if... I am at fault?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Then we work on it until we get you back in the game, and if necessary, work to maintain your abilities. I highly doubt, however, it is something serious." That wasn't entirely a lie. Anyone who watched the series might have come to the conclusion that "deep rooted problems" were the cause for Asuka's withdrawal from the world. The way I saw it, though, she seemed to just need a good boost of self confidence. It wasn't necessarily an Asuka problem, but a pilot's problem in general. The same drop in synch ratios happened, although temporarily, to Shinji.

"Why do you care?" the redhead mumbled. "You just want to take my Unit-02, and steal all my glory."

"No," I sighed, shaking my head. Why were things always so difficult with people? I should have just resorted to keeping social interaction to an all-time low. I could have put Rei Ayanami's antisocial behavior to shame, but I had chosen to stupidly act human in this world. But I couldn't just back off now. "What I'm concerned about is survival. The more proficient pilots we have with superior weaponry, the better. Now that Unit-04 is here, we have an opportunity to become truly powerful."

"Are you always this crazy?" Asuka sighed.

"Yes, I am."

•••••••••••••

Soryu and I walked together down the street to Misato's apartment, the girl smiling for the first time since I had become Unit-02's back-up pilot. We had spent two days straight training, having never left headquarters. It was nice after all this time to meet someone who had the drive to sit down, and not give up on a problem until it was resolved. Her synch ratio was still low, but she had increased it by eight percentage points. Sometimes, she had even managed to spike three to five points higher during an individual session, but only for a short period of time. Still, it was a steady improvement, and while small, Ibuki noticed each session there was improvement led to a slightly higher increase in gain the next session. In short, the key to Asuka's problem was all a matter of confidence.

It was also a benefit to me, as I learned more about the Eva, our area of operations, and the various tactical weapons at our disposal in those two days from Asuka than in the weeks of "self-instruction" (or dare I say negligence) of Misato's misinformation. What Asuka lacked in understanding about Unit-04, I had an equal lack of NERV procedures or general Eva proficiency. If Soryu and I did not share citizenship with America and post-Impact Japan, I would have best described our two days of maddening training as a cultural exchange. Instead, it was more along the lines of a symbiotic relationship.

We were only a couple blocks from Misato's apartment, the sun setting behind the hills surrounding the city, when the redhead decided to speak. "Are you coming in?"

"No," I said, shaking my head. "I have to get back and prep dinner. I also want to check over all my stuff again for class tomorrow. You know, make sure I'm all squared away." Soryu nodded. "Just... how tough will it be? I still can barely speak the language."

"Just don't piss me off, and I will guide you through it," the German grinned, giving me a wink. I could just imagine how she saw the situation. She was most likely thinking I was her new toady, most likely a few rungs lower in standing than Hikari. But if that is what I head to deal with to stay alive and get through the whole mess until the Third Impact, I could play dumb for a while.

"Right," I said, nodding.

"Fifth?" Soryu asked, glancing over her shoulder.

"What, Second?" I sighed.

"What is that stooge to you, anyway?" My face remained frozen, or at least the left half did, as my right twisted into a grin of amusement. The idea that Aida and I were romantically involved seemed to be getting around, and I suppose I could see why. It was unusual for him or I to have any interaction with others. I always thought a pairing between him and Rei would be far more suiting, but leave it to a female Fifth Child to be paired with the remaining background character.

Turning my head a full 90 degrees, the only way I could see Asuka with my one eye, I decided to tell her the truth. "He's a business associate."

"Business associate?" Asuka exclaimed, frowning. "Don't tell me you make him pay for it!"

"What the _hell_ is going on in that head of yours, Second?" I snapped. "I told you already. I'm male, remember?" Sighing, I turned back to the sidewalk ahead. "I needed Aida to tag along as a translator on a few errands late at night last week. Besides, Aida's cool. He reminds me of me."

"God help us all!" she muttered under her breath.

•••••••••••••

Considering how I would still considered a danger to society, I couldn't help but laugh nearly all day as I attended the junior high for the first time. Apparently I couldn't be trusted with an Eva, but it was more than acceptable to put me in a room full of potential pilots. Then again, it did make sense. I was, of course, the one who helped fight off a platoon of poorly trained and overconfident soldiers. I was also the one who kept a drunk and feeble minded Misato on her toes. Around the other Children, I would simply be the laughable foreign exchange student. I wondered if I should start referring to myself as Fez.

Most of the students kept their distance from me during the lunch break. It was what I was hoping for. People just get in my way. They have a habit of contradicting every smart decision I make. It was that way with Misato, Maya, and even the cafeteria staff at NERV, who insisted I stuff my face with ramen than with food which my intestines would retain for more than five minutes.

"Susan?" I heard a boy's voice behind me. Kensuke Aida walked timidly up to my side, and sat down next to me. The short-haired brunette who regularly sat there didn't seem to mind, as she had no intention of sitting at that desk for the rest of the semester, or however long I would be there. It was the end of the first week I had been at the school, and the boy knew how tough it had been. "Can I... help?"

"How?" I asked. "There are at least three factions of girls in this class, and all of them seem to have their fun spreading rumors about me. Did you hear how they vandalized my P.E. gear?" I pounded the desk once in anger, causing everyone in the class to jump once, stare, then begin to laugh in my general direction. I didn't care anymore about maintaining my cover as a 14 year old exchange student. I just wanted out.

Rubbing my forehead with my right hand in frustration, I felt Aida grip my left gently in his. "I am... sorry," he breathed. "I did what I could to stop the pictures from getting out, but those guys ganged up on me." I didn't for a second doubt the boy's conviction to me, as the bruises on his face were evidence of his attempted heroism. A few girls gasped in their typical, mindless way, and began another teasing session. Hikari, on the other hand, was breaking out in a cold sweat. It wasn't that I didn't appreciate what Kensuke was trying to do, but again, it would have been better had it been my girlfriend. Thinking about her, I just grumbled, but let Aida hold my hand.

"Aren't you the kind who takes those photos normally?" I asked. Kensuke nodded meekly, trying to hide his sense of shame. "Then why do you care now?"

"You are... different... not just eye candy," he answered. For the first time in my life, I took the extra effort to smile in appreciation of a complement.

"After school, you want to toss a football around?" I asked. "I'm sick of all this girly crap."

"But you don't throw a football," Aida sighed. "You cannot touch it with your hands."

"Sorry, I mean an American football." I made a few hand gestures to help describe the object in question. I've always hated sports, except for motorsports. However, a nice game of catch with a football was just the dose of macho, American culture I needed. The weeks surrounded by nothing but Japanese culture was driving me nuts. Even their attempts at mimicking American or European culture left a bad taste in my mouth, like watching a bad movie filmed on location in Canada.

Kensuke smiled and nodded. "Sounds like something new to try." It amused me sometimes, how we were both picking up each other's mannerisms. I found myself at times readjusting my glasses just as he did, while he would walk with a slight lope or begin to slur his words into a bad Oakie accent I had picked up from an uncle of mine once. The funny part of it was he seemed to enjoy it. I reminded myself to find a few episodes of King of the HillIt was time for a little gaijin payback.

I heard a few girls start to snicker and make "cute" sounds. Glaring with my one good eye directly at the girls, then back at Kensuke, I asked "Can you kill them for me?" The girls immediately glared back, their lips pulled into frowns. Once I heard them groan, I snarled, and they backed away. The class representative, however, stayed behind. "Go for the cranial ridge. Makes less of a mess, and ends it quickly."

Kensuke just shook his head, and set it back against the top of the desk. "Why do you make everything so difficult?"

Glaring over at the girls again, the three were whispering and occasionally giving me questioning looks. I thought it was less than common, but these foul mouthed teens even in the post Second Impact world were just the same as back in America. I had heard the rude slang for so many sexual activities, it didn't take me long to realize they had some funny ideas about Kensuke and I. It was also a clue when Aida began to blush, as surprising as that was.

Standing up, I approached the girls, set my hand on one of their shoulders, and jerked the girl backwards in her chair. She hit the floor hard, and as she tried to stand, I knelt beside her. Gripping the bow tie around the collar of her blouse, I pulled her within inches of my face. "Are you listening?" I asked in Japanese. I had made an effort to learn some basic words, and conveniently. The more simplistic phrases were perfect for interrogations. The girl didn't respond at first, but I shook her viciously, and she seemed to comply. "Now, are you listening?"

"Y-yes..." the girl trembled.

"Speak English?" I asked.

"YES!"

"Good," I said, returning to English. "Tell everyone Mr. Aida and I are only friends."

Releasing the girl from my grip, she tumbled back to the floor. The elderly instructor who was normally seen in the series had stepped out for a few minutes, so I thought I was free. However, as I made my way back to my desk, Hikari ran up to my side. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" the class representative shouted.

Glancing over my shoulder, I watched Kensuke start to withdraw, then pause for a moment. Sighing, he walked up to my side, and folded his arms in defiance. He and Hikari exchanged some harsh words back and forth. The minute the instructor came back to the classroom, the 'victim' began to sob uncontrollably. The balding instructor walked briskly to my desk, noticing the conflict seemed to concentrate around me. I could feel the man's stare trace up and down my desk.

"Go to the principal!" the man snapped. The teacher, however, stepped backwards once or twice as I slowly rose to my feet. I could feel my right eyebrow pulled down. That whole side of my face tightened into a lean package of raw hate expressed in gaunt features. I had no idea why the teacher began to shake, however, until I leaned over to put the school issued laptop to sleep. As the screen went blank, my reflection stared back at me, my one iris growing darker in hue.

End of Chapter XIX

•••••••••••••

Comments/questions/suggestions for what to put here, write a review.

•••••••••••••


	20. Chapter XX: Goodbyes

I do not own the rights to Neon Genesis Evangelion, or any of the characters, equipment, or locations written in this fanfiction. The purpose of this fanfiction is merely for the non-profit enjoyment of other readers. If requested by Gainax, Hideki Anno, or other parties which represent aforementioned objects in this story, I will remove it promptly.

**Chapter XX:**

"Your first week," Misato grumbled. "This is only your first week, and you assaulted another student?" I just propped my head up with my left arm against the passenger door of the blue Renault. I was so tired, I could barely keep my eyes open. "Hey, I'm talking to you!" the major shouted. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

"It wasn't enough," I grumbled sleepily. "Should have thrown her out the window."

The car came to a sudden stop, my upper body flying towards the dashboard, the shoulder belt doing nothing but limply coiling out. The brakes shrieked, the wear limiters digging into the rotors like fingernails on a chalkboard. Misato was in my face in a matter of seconds. "This isn't funny!" she growled. "All you had to do was put up with it-"

"For HOW LONG?" I hollered. "I've been the subject of sexual harassment, vandalism, and defamation of character since the first day I showed up! I tried talking to the perpetrators involved, which did nothing. I've reported each case to the class representative, then to the teacher, and even to the principal when the chain of command failed to give results. You want to tell me what I should have done? I'm out of ideas."

Katsuragi's face relaxed, the woman leaning back in the driver seat, physically exhausted. "I don't know," she breathed, running her right hand through her hair. "But threats and intimidation are not the answer."

"Why not?" I grumbled. "All through my schooling I've avoided using violence against bullies, and you know where it got me? Even the nerds thought I was a wimp." Clenching my fists, I stared out at the road ahead. "If I don't stand up for myself and show these people there are consequences for their actions, I will never get respect." Misato was about to put the vehicle back in drive, when I pulled the emergency brake handle in the center console. "And tell me how in God's name does Asuka get away with blowing her stack in that school? She does far worse than I've done on a daily basis!"

Misato was left dumbfounded, her lips pulled shut in a mournful frown. "It isn't fair," she whispered. "I know it isn't, but violence will not solve it."

"Maybe I'll just check the student directory, and make sure Unit-04 _accidentally_ walks over every house owned by the students' surviving family," I commented. "If there is some loss of life, it is of no consequence. Civilians are expendable." The major's skin turned white as she stared. She knew I wasn't joking, just as well as I wasn't. I didn't care anymore if I was killed when Tabris arrived or not. While I was alive, I would not allow anyone else to insult me, harass me, or use violence against me. I think the only reason Misato didn't try to slap me that very moment was the fact she realized I would not simply take it. She would take pain in return, as would anyone else who interfered. "I'm tired of these games, Misato," I grumbled. "If the principal doesn't have those vermin suspended by next Monday, I will go back there and settle things my way."

"I... pity you," she whispered, releasing the emergency brake, and pulling out into traffic again.

"Don't!" I muttered. "Pity is for the weak to take pride from the strong. Everyone who has tried to pity me in the past was worthless filth just trying to feel better about themselves. They actually claimed to be better than me because they suffered more, and therefore had more real world experience." I let out a disgusted huff. "Pity is used to punish winners and reward losers. I would rather die than be a good loser."

•••••••••••••

I had two days until the next Monday, when I would be allowed back to the junior high school. Kensuke volunteered to stop by my apartment on Saturday afternoon to give me the latest homework and in-class assignments. It frustrated me sometimes how much trouble I was putting Aida through. "You don't have to do this," I tried to explain to him.

"No one else would bring these to you," he said. "They are afraid."

"But they don't respect me, even if they fear me."

"No," Aida agreed, shaking his head. "They just hate you, and want to tease you." Walking into the apartment, Aida kicked off his shoes in the entry way, and followed me back to the living room. The both of us sat down at the couch, and Kensuke retrieved his notebook. It wasn't until another fifteen or twenty minutes until we spoke again. "How do you understand this subject so well?"

"It's math, so there's really not much to translate," I explained. "Why do you ask?"

"Can you... show me the answer to number three?"

It was geometry, about the same level of complexity as I had in high school. I never did understand why it was considered so tough. It was all just simple rules about congruent triangles. The only difficulties I had always came down to understanding the text. Even with tutoring, I still couldn't read any of the assignments, so the instructor agreed that Kensuke and I would pair up. The one thing I didn't realize was why he had assigned Kensuke and I to work together. That is, I didn't understand until we met on that Saturday afternoon.

Aida, for all of his abilities when it came to computers, avoided homework like the plague. What had resulted were bad grades and no grasp of the material. It took another two hours, but we completed the homework easily. "All you really have to remember are the order of sides and angles you can use to determine congruent triangles," I said. "The rest is thinking of ways to interpret the problem to meet your needs."

Just then, someone knocked at the door. It would figure, just when we were being productive. Setting the textbooks down on the couch, I walked up to door, peering through the peep hole. "Is the class representative a hostile?" I asked. Aida pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, and stared at me like I was out of my mind. "Can she be trusted?"

"You have to ask that?" the boy grumbled. Clearly I wasn't going to get my answer from him. Therefore, I resorted to the only action I could think of. Pulling the Jericho pistol from the holster on the small of my back, I racked the slide, slowly unlocked each deadbolt, and gripped the door handle. Taking a deep breath, I opened the door slowly.

"Why are you here?" I snarled, keeping the door open barely a crack, my eyes peering through the gap. The brunette's eyes went wide for a moment, and then narrowed in disgust. Shifting uncomfortably, Hikari advanced to the door.

"We need to talk," she said.

•••••••••••••

"You did WHAT?" Hikari screeched. It was irritating enough she did nothing when I asked her to stop the punks in class from harassing me, and then for her to criticize the only action I could take to try and put an end to it all. Now she was whining about the weak nine millimeter pistol I held in my hand, as well as the method I had gone to obtain it. "I... I have to go..." she stuttered.

"What is your hurry?" I stated, locking the door. "You came all this way to badger me about how I was just some chick on the rag. Now you come to find out I have a serious grievance, and you won't stay? Doesn't that go against your duties as class representative? Or is it the fact I am willing to do what I said I was going to do to finish this?"

The color faded from Horaki's face as she stumbled to the couch, Kensuke turning to confront me. "Susan!" he barked. "What is wrong with you? She is NOT the enemy!"

"Why?" I asked. "Is it because she holds a higher rank than us, or simply because she'll whine until she gets her way? Regardless, this threat cannot be ignored. She will turn against us at _every_ opportunity. She is female, after all." Easing the hammer on the pistol to it's safe, half-cocked position, I made my way to the phone. "I'm calling a friend. She will escort you home. However, if you do not leave, I cannot guarantee your safety."

"This isn't right," Aida breathed. "We aren't murderers, and Hikari isn't a threat! She just came to talk."

"About what? About how she, the teacher, and everyone in the chain of command ignored my complaints? About how she and the administrators allowed the class to tease me? I took what option was left to me, and I expect the class representative to do the same."

•••••••••••••

Fortunately the steel door could handle a lot of abuse, because Asuka was very impatient when I did not answer immediately. "What are you thinking?"she started screaming, running over to Hikari. The class representative, pale in fear just a moment before, was smiling faintly, rising to her feet in excitement. Horaki was about to embrace the Second Child, before the German retracted in disgust. Horaki looked disappointed, but it was just as predicted. Asuka did not want to get close to anyone. There were no friends to trust, after all. Besides, Soryu had to focus on hating me, not the happiness of comforting a friend.

"You better start talking, Fifth!" the redhead growled just above a whisper.

"I am involved in something, and no one but a select few can know about it," I began. Suddenly the girls both cringed. "No, nothing like _that_. I can't believe you would even believe that, Second, especially after what I admitted to you."

"You could be lying, or just a sick pervert," she snarled.

"Hardly," I answered. "Kensuke, do you think the teacher's pet and the Kraut can be trusted?" Now it was Aida's turn to pale slightly. "We have two options. They can know now and we risk our cover, or we hope they don't pry. Which is it?"

"This never would have happened if you didn't act like a maniac!" he grumbled.

"I cannot simply allow people to visit," I protested. "Too many people show up, and NERV will start asking questions." The others didn't seem convinced. "If you hadn't noticed, there's a person who lives with me who shouldn't exist. If NERV finds out, we're screwed."

"What are you talking abou-?" Asuka began, just as the casually dressed figure of Ritsuko Akagi appeared in the kitchen. She had changed her appearance, her hair now a dark brunette, and extending just beyond her shoulders. The former doctor wore a pair of white khaki pants and a blue, sleeveless turtleneck top. While she was not recognized on the street from long range observation, anyone who knew the woman and was close enough to her would make the instant connection with the presumed dead Akagi. "Sh-she's supposed to be dead!" the Second Child yelped. When Hikari didn't understand Asuka's excitement, the two chattered in the local language, and immediately Horaki took a few steps back.

"Susan, I thought I told you no visitors," Ritsuko grumbled. "You are grounded."

Ever since she returned from California, Ritsuko had really put more effort into reinventing herself. She already had her financial situation handled, given a certain donation on my part. We spent the last couple days practicing regularly, and to trick each other, we would sometimes refer to each other by our real names. Whenever we fell for it, the punishment would usually involve practicing English or Japanese, depending on who was the victor.

Sometimes it irritated me just how well Akagi could play her new identity. "Sorry, Aunt Jill, but this is the class representative and her friend," I replied. "They just wanted to check on me, and deliver my missed assignments."

"And the boy?" she grumbled, raising an eyebrow in interest. Staring back at her, I shook my head, hoping she would realize my prior gender would keep me from ever thinking in that way.

"Kensuke is trustworthy," I explained. "We were just studying." Turning back to the class representative and Soryu, I gestured towards the door. "I appreciate the missed assignments, but I really must get back to work, Ms. Horaki," I said.

•••••••••••••

Kensuke stayed for dinner, which consisted of some rice, spinach, and some form of discount meat product Ritsuko had purchased from the local grocery store. I couldn't stand bland, white rice. I prefer to have it with chicken boullion and butter mixed in to give it better consistency or flavor. However, the doctor insisted the rice remain bland. We had gotten into a lot of arguments lately, and I could take a little variety if it meant not getting into another fight.

Unfortunately, the minute Aida was gone, the arguments started up again. "Misato told me about your suspension," Ritsuko sighed. "Did you really think I wouldn't know?"

"You would know eventually," I grumbled. "But it isn't your problem. I'm an adult. I make my own decisions. Also, I am, or I was, a college student. I shouldn't be stuck in secondary school in the first place." Shoveling the rice and spinach into my mouth, I bit down and swallowed the meal crudely, causing a look of disgust to cross the woman's face. "Finally, if Rokubungi were smart, he wouldn't force me into a school when I'm obviously a security risk. That is, unless he already has a covert operative in the class already."

"Can you stop acting like a savage just for once?" Akagi snapped, slamming her fists down on the table. "All you've done since you've been here is try to kill people!" Pushing her chair from the table, the brunette set her dish and silverware in the kitchen sink, beginning to scrub them down. "I can't live with you anymore," she sighed, "not if you are going to play mercenary."

"Where will you go?"

"I'm leaving," she answered without regret. "I have some money and my new identity, so I'll find a place in the United States."

"What about work?"

"I have former colleagues."

Shaking my head, I pulled the flash memory card from my shirt pocket. "I knew you would have to live on more than charity, so I took the liberty of having Maya alter your university records to your new name and identification numbers." Ritsuko nearly dropped the freshly clean dish in her hands. "Misato and Maya are more than willing to serve as references, as am I."

"Why are you helping me?" Ritsuko, or should I say Aunt Jill, asked. "You want to kill Gendo, you want to hurt these people at school, and you want to destroy Seele. Why me?"

"Honestly, I wanted to kill you the minute I arrived here," I replied. "I thought you could not be trusted, as Fuyutsuki and Gendo could not be trusted. Anyone directly involved with NERV's true purpose is a risk to the Children and the rest of humanity. Even Maya was a risk, because she would blindly follow orders without considering the morality of what you people have done." Taking another swig of milk, I set the glass down, thinking how I would explain this to her. "It's one thing if the Children choose to pilot the Eva, but it's another when you trick them into it and kill their mothers to make the Eva work. You also rely on them to fight the war for you."

"You still haven't answered my question!" the brunette growled. She was getting frustrated with my responses, as anyone would. Telling someone who has trusted you for so long that you had originally intended to kill them is not the best way to end a friendship.

"You were kind to me, as was Maya. Misato, I suppose she _has_ to live, even though she's more of a parasite than a guardian." Ritsuko was seething with anger at this point, her whole body twisting into a coiled form, ready to lash out at me for my hateful words. But it was the truth, and I had no problem reciting my views coldly, giving a report on the situation at hand. "I'll offer Fuyutsuki the same chance I offered you, but I will not hesitate to pull the trigger when the time comes."

A single tear fell from the woman's left eye in frustration. "How can you hate so much?"

"Lots of practice," I muttered. "There's too much vermin, and not enough ammo."

End of Chapter XX

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Comments/questions/suggestions for what to put here, write a review.

•••••••••••••


	21. Chapter XXI: The Last Flicker of Light

I do not own the rights to Neon Genesis Evangelion, or any of the characters, equipment, or locations written in this fanfiction. The purpose of this fanfiction is merely for the non-profit enjoyment of other readers. If requested by Gainax, Hideki Anno, or other parties which represent aforementioned objects in this story, I will remove it promptly.

**Chapter XXI:**

I had promised myself I would try to keep my cool, and simply deal with each problem in class as it came. There was little else I could do about the hazing and not be arrested for a felony. I had even gone so far as to buy a few packs of chewing gum to spare my teeth, as I find I clench them too often when people irritate me. The promise lasted for about half an hour as I walked to school, when I found the situation he was in.

Shinji was leaning against the southern wall of the junior high school, his head slumped forward. On the ground beside his feet I saw a small puddle of blood. As I came closer, I noticed the droplets of the crimson fluid coming from the boy's nose, and the blue marks on his face. Kensuke was beside him, his nearly pressed white dress shirt covered in permanent marker graffiti. Aida was trying to stop the bleeding, but Shinji's nose would not comply. Looking over the nerd, I noticed a few similar bruises over his face and his forearms. Whatever happened, it looks like Aida at least tried to put up a fight.

sImmediately I felt for my folding knife, which while against school regulations, was a comfort to have after so much trouble came my way. "What happened?" I asked, approaching the boys. Neither would answer at first. Either way, they didn't need to answer, as the graffiti on Kensuke's shirt and the laughter of the girls in the courtyard told me everything I needed to know. They weren't after Kensuke or Shinji.

They were after me, and anyone related to me would suffer to make me suffer.

As I glanced over to the girls again, their faces wrinkled as they laughed hysterically, I couldn't help but start thinking very wrong, racist thoughts. I really was a gaijin to them, no matter if I saved their lives or not. They were just a bunch of worthless, lying filth that needed to be dealt with in as harsh a fashion as Little Boy and Fatman on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. It didn't matter what the consequences were to me. People who did as little as speak to me in a non-hostile manner had been attacked. If they were truly friends, they would have taken worse.

Asuka and Hikari ran down the courtyard, arriving to school a few minutes later than I. "What happened to the stooges?" Soryu grumbled. "You're supposed to stand up for yourselves!" I shot the German a look, and while I didn't see it, I could tell my irises had turned to black again, as Soryu cringed. Hikari was a little more caring, but not much. "What-what are you doing?" Asuka asked.

"Call Misato," I growled, pulling out my knife. I flicked the blade open just a foot away from the Second Child's face. Both the pair of girls and boys flinched, darting away from me. "Tell Misato to get Section Two down here to deal with those pack of girls, or I will."

"What are you going to do?"

Of course, Misato and Section Two did not respond in time, and as those five minutes seemed to last for decades, I had chosen my path. I would gladly live in darkness if it meant these people were the light.

•••••••••••••

"Gaijin!" the girls all chimed in sing-song fashion simultaneously as I approached. "Gaijin! Gaijin!" They continued to chant it, not hesitating as I waved the knife playfully in their direction, seeming to think it was a joke. They stopped thinking that way when I continued to advance, flipping the weapon in my palm, carrying it blade down, my hands blocking my chest protectively. That was when they started to clump together like a school of fish, trying to avoid the shark.

And, just like a shark, I struck quickly, just grazing my first target's right forearm. She was the fattest of the group, and therefore the easiest prey. The injury was hardly more than a clean paper cut, but that was how a shark attacked. They first took a less lethal bite as a taste test, and to gauge their prey's response.

Now the girls starting shouting, their tones aggressive. But these were the shrieks of terror, of animals trying to mask their fear with anger and threats of retaliation. Slowly working my way into the group of five girls, they started to pound at me with their fists. Forming a circle, they hoped to entrap me. However, I kept thinking like a shark, and walked along the inner perimeter of my newfound cage of prey. I found the fat one again, and drew my knife faster along her skin, now cutting near her left knee. She started to whimper, and pulled away from the four remaining girls. That was a very stupid mistake.

I burst through the newly formed hole in the defensive perimeter, charging after the fat one. She was slow, especially with the cut on her knee, causing her to limp slightly with pain. The blood was slowly painting the skin around the wound, droplets striking the ground occasionally. It was the kind of cut that could or could not justify stitches, depending on the diagnosis. But later on, this girl would need stitches.

Slipping the knife into my pants pocket of my suit, I jerked off the blazer, loosened my tie, and tackled the girl at a full out run. I had struck her close to her neck, delivering all my kinetic energy at the point of most leverage. She crumpled to the ground, and in an instant, I was lashing out at her with everything I could muster. Her friends surrounded us, but did not interfere. Instead, they continued to shout and scream, but the masks of anger were slipping away. They were just beginning to admit they were afraid.

I savagely beat the girl's face in, my knuckles bleeding. My blood and hers mingled over her cheeks, her nose, and her lips as I continued to hammer her skull. Shrill cries came from her swollen lips, but I did not stop until she went limp like a rag doll, simply taking the abuse. By the end, she was numbly whimpering, the tears flowing like unstoppable geysers.

I relaxed my fists, and rose to my feet. Turning around, the four girls had surrounded me again. This time, however, they were no longer chanting "gaijin", or any other insult my way. Instead, they just stared. Then, as I drew the knife from my pocket again, they began to bolt. One with horn-rimmed glasses tried to attend to the fat one, and that was deemed my next target. Ripping the glasses from her face, I threw them to the ground and stomped on them until they were flattened under my shoe. When she protested, I shoved her to ground, and tore the straps of her jumper and her bow tie.

Then I unleashed all hell as I started to throttle her neck. My mouth grinned wildly, saliva trickling down my sharp canines and into the surrounding grass as I studied my victim with pride. She would not need to die, I thought. She would never do this again, and I would prove to these people finally that I would not tread lightly in their crappy little town any longer.

"Pl-please!" her voice cracked as I tried in vain to crush her larynx. "Stop!" Her face was beginning to turn blue.

I gently, teasingly slid the dull end of my knife along her throat. "Why?" I hissed. "Why, when I am having fun?" I knew why, but I had chosen against being nice. I would have gladly stopped a half an hour ago, but my path was now dug and paved in concrete. I could not go back on what choice and fate had led me to. Savagery was my course, and I would keep to it.

Just then a heavy, burning pain filled the back of my head. My skull rattled for a few seconds as I thought about what could have possibly happened. Seeing the shadow coming from behind, the rectangular implement's form copied perfectly in the grass, I finally put the pieces together. Someone had hit me upside the head with a blunt instrument. That, however, would not stop me. Nothing would stop me.

Pulling the knife away, I turned to face the third girl in the group. She was almost a copy of Hikari, except for the single, thick braid tracing down to the small of her back. Now I knew precisely how to hurt her. The flagpole was only a few yards away, and her hair was easy enough to secure to the line. After I broke her nose and knocked the wind out of her, I shoved her into the flagpoke, leaving a vertical bruise down her forehead. Threading her hair into the rope, I began to pull. The girl was screaming at the top of her lungs, small strands of her hair ripping out of her scalp. I secured her hands behind her back around the flagpole, leaving her to simply observe as I went after the others.

The fourth and fifth girls had long since gone, but I knew what they looked like. They had to leave the school at one time or another. I also knew the fourth girl rode a bicycle to school. Making my way to the bike rack, I found the poor copy of a Schwin standing at the end of the rack. Again came out the knife as I slashed the tires. Then came the reflectors, which I tore from their brackets and tossed aside. Finally, I kicked the seat of the bike hard until it came loose, leaving the hollow metal bar protruding from the frame. A quick run to the garbage incinerator took care of the seat as well as the saddlebags for the girl's textbooks.

Then a thought occurred to me. Grabbing a nearby trash can, there was one last thing I had to do. The fifth girl was always driven to school by one of her parents, the beautiful vintage Lexus which still ran on gasoline sitting in the parking lot across the street. Her parent had not left the school yet. Taking my time, I strode to the car, and hurled the heavy steel can at the windshield. I continued to pound at it as the car alarm sounded. There was no fear, however, as the masses of students ran over to me, or the administrators. All I had left was anger.

Hikari came up behind me, as well as the father of the fifth girl, both panting from their sprint to the parking lot. When the older man saw the trash can sitting in the driver seat of his car, the windshield's remains glistening on the cement pavement, he turned to slap me. I let him take one strike, my head jerking to the side, but when he came at me again, I busted his lower ribs with my knee, adding a palm strike to his nose for good measure.

"Translate for the father, Hikari," I ordered. The class representative numbly nodded, as she was still in shock at the violent displays. "Your daughter and her friends beat up two people just for knowing me. They have taken lewd pictures of me in the locker room, spread rumors about me, and threatened my friends. They do this again, and I won't hurt them. I will come after you, and I will kill you."

Conveniently, the man spoke fluent English, as he was a business professional. Gasping on the ground, he glared up at me, his black suit and coated in a thin later of dust from the pavement. "How dare you threaten me!" he breathed hoarsely. "What can you possibly do? I will have you arrested!"

Reaching into my wallet, I threw my NERV identification down on the ground. The man's face went pale. "NERV will not allow me to be arrested by local authorities, as long as I have to fight. And I will fight, but I swear, if my friends are hurt again, I _will_ target the civilian shelters. I _will_ take human lives, and I _will_ enjoy it!" Then I turned to Hikari, gripping her collar, jerking her to within inches of my face. "Just remember, you could have prevented this. You like responsibility, don't you? It turn you on? You can explain to the parents why the principal let their daughters do this to me and my friends. Then you can explain what I did to their girls, and what I _will_ do to them if it happens again. Do you get me?"

The clouds started to roll in as I walked towards my apartment, the crack of thunder sounding in the distance. I was just about to turn the corner off the main road when I saw Misato's Renault finally pull into the parking lot behind me. The woman darted out of the car, approaching Hikari. I watched behind the corner of a building as she hugged Shinji, helping him and Kensuke into the car. Then the major kneeled by the Lexus, and picked up my identification card. She must have felt my eye on her, as she turned to glance towards me. However, I was already gone.

When I got home, I burst into the bathroom, and vomited, the thick, hearty breakfast I had not an hour before splattering in the toilet bowl. Punching the wall, I cursed, then tried emptying my stomach again. Wiping my mouth with a wrung out wash rag, I stared into the mirror. Two hours later, I checked the mirror again. My irises were still black, and would never change again.

End of Chapter XXI

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Comments/questions/suggestions for what to put here, write a review.

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	22. Chapter XXII: Choices

I do not own the rights to Neon Genesis Evangelion, or any of the characters, equipment, or locations written in this fanfiction. The purpose of this fanfiction is merely for the non-profit enjoyment of other readers. If requested by Gainax, Hideki Anno, or other parties which represent aforementioned objects in this story, I will remove it promptly.

**Chapter XXII:**

I don't remember how it ended up the way it did, the class representative, Shinji and Kensuke in my apartment late Monday night, but that's how it worked out. Kensuke was the first to visit, as usual, sometime around three o'clock. Anyone in their right mind would not simply stare at their guest waiting at the door, and ask blandly "Why are you here?" However, social skills are like a foreign language to me, and those were the precise words I used.

"You... scared everyone," Kensuke breathed. The bruises were changing color now, but the swelling looked like it had gone down. He handed me my NERV identification and the black blazer I had been wearing before. It appeared my use of force had not quite gotten the message across, as the jacket was torn and cut in several places. Seeing I was frowning at the quite expensive piece of clothing being mutilated, Aida glanced down at it as well. "Those girls, they did that."

"I shouldn't have left it behind," I grumbled. "Will you stay for dinner?"

"I... just came by to deliver these," he explained. "Misato, she said she never wants to see you again."

"Fine by me," I huffed. "She's a loser anyway."

"Asuka... she hates you."

"Okay," I replied. "I guessed that much."

"Hikari- I mean, the class rep, she doesn't even know what to think." Aida kicked his shoes off lazily, and followed me to the living room. "She hates what the other girls have done, but what you did was worse."

I turned my head, glancing back at the boy. "And what do you think?" Aida cringed for a moment, and took a deep sigh, shaking his head. That was enough of an answer for me. It was clear I had put him through enough trouble for a while. "I see. I am sorry, Kensuke." I was about to drop the conversation entirely when a thought crossed through my mind. "How is Shinji?"

"He locked himself in his room," Aida sighed. "I tried to talk to him, but he just told us to go away."

I nodded.

•••••••••••••

Hikari Horaki walked cautiously into the apartment, studying the contents in detail. I noticed her grimace when she passed by the famous picture of the Marines raising the flag on Iwo Jima, and the replica Articles of Surrender signed by General MacArthur. "You know Ira Hayes was the only member of the Iwo Jima flag raising who was still alive before Second Impact?" I asked casually.

"I didn't know that," the brunette muttered. "Ms. Ikari, we need to talk."

"I'm not going back to school, Ms. Horaki," I interrupted, "and that's final." The girl sighed, and then she noticed Kensuke dozing in the couch. "However, would you care to join Kensuke and I for dinner?"

"What will you do?" she whined. "You can't just skip secondary school!"

"I was already attending college when I came here, Ms. Horaki," I grumbled. "Unfortunately, NERV has a habit of forcing pilots to attend the same class. Perhaps it has something to do with keeping all pilot qualifiers under the same lock and key."

That last statement caught the guest's attention, just as predicted. "What did you say?" she asked.

"You mean you don't know?" I exclaimed in a sarcastic tone. "Gee, let's think about this. All of you in Class 2-A lost your mothers at an early age, all of your fathers work for NERV in one respect or another, and all of you were born after Second Impact. Those are the same three requirements that make Asuka and Shinji pilots. I don't think I need to teach you inductive reasoning."

Aida was now awake, stunned. Both Children were standing, staring at each other, then back at me. "That's why Touji was chosen," I spat in hate. "Of course, he was used as a sacrifice. They _knew_ Unit-03 was infected by an Angel, but made him pilot anyway."

"W-why in God's name would they do that?" Hikari screamed. I felt a small, feminine hand grip my shoulder, spinning me around to face the girl, her eyes starting to tear up. "How can you say such-"

"Commander Ikari, Shinji's father, is the who made Touji pilot," I growled. Horaki started to cry. "He is also the one who made Shinji destroy the Eva, with Touji inside." Kensuke began to turn pale. I pushed the girl aside, and reached above the refrigerator to the bottle of whiskey Ritsuko and I drank from as a sarcastic celebration of her last day in the apartment. I was glad she was gone. Otherwise, she would have to meet the victims of her choices.

"Tell me, what do you think about Shinji?" I asked the two Children, pouring myself a shot. "Did you bother to think of him as a person, or just another weapon to protect you?"

"He's a pilot," the boy explained. "We have to admire him, for everything he does for us!"

Kensuke's words stung at my brain. "Do you know how many times he has tried giving up piloting?" The two shook their head. "He has tried at least twice, that I know of. Both times, he was forced to pilot again because people's lives, _your_ lives, were in jeopardy. Both times he gave up his will, his life, everything, all for mankind." Opening my mouth, I dumped the contents of the shot glass down my throat, rolling my eyes as the burning alcohol cleared the sinuses. "Do you know what mankind has done for him in return?"

Hikari was sobbing, avoiding my eyes, but Kensuke was studying me with concern. "You people haven't done a _thing_ for Shinji! You have taken everything that made him human away from him, then complain that he doesn't want anything to do with people?" Slamming the shot glass down, the two Children jumped. "You owe them; Shinji, Asuka, Rei, Touji, you owe them all!"

The two stood there, sobbing and shamefully contemplating my words when the phone rang. It only took thirty seconds to know everything was going horribly wrong. "How fast can you run?" I asked the two guests, setting the phone down.

•••••••••••••

Twenty minutes and thirty-two seconds: that is the time it took to run from my apartment to the train station nearly three miles away. Normally, I would have never been able to run at such a pace had I not taken interest in finally getting in shape during my sophomore year in college. The rec center was free to students, and I had no excuses. However, my new peers did not hold themselves to such stringent standards as my buddy in the ROTC program who pestered me consistently to meet Army standards. The fact I was a civilian was no excuse for a half-assed regimen.

Hikari was the first to vomit hard as we rounded the last corner, the brown-haired boy on the station platform not three hundred feet away. Kensuke was next, falling into his bile as he collapsed on the stairway to the platform. It was all left to me as I sprinted up the last few steps, my suit soaked in sweat and sneakers scuffed from the hard pavement. "Shinji!" I shouted, gasping for air.

Ikari turned, his eyes dully staring at me. "What?" he asked in annoyance. "Will you tell me not to run away, too?" He must have been practicing his English. Perhaps he had expected this confrontation. It wouldn't have dawned on anyone else, but Shinji was smart, and when needed, quite cunning. The problem is that few people noticed anything beyond his failures at human interaction. Although carefully planned, his subtle probings to test the environment of conversation were often shot down as too soft, too quiet, or too introverted. I wouldn't have been surprised if he knew from the beginning I would confront him like this.

"No," I said, leaning over, setting my hands on my knees. The sweat beaded on my forehead, running down my face. "You can go if you want." Glancing up at him, he seemed to shift on one foot, then regain his composure, focusing his attention at the rails ahead. "Shinji, why did you want to protect these people? Why bother?"

"This will... not work," he grumbled.

"No, seriously," I continued. I gestured over to a plastic and steel bench next to a wall displaying the various routes of the train in the metropolitan area. Ikari sat hesitantly, following my action. "These people, they hate us, they use us, but they know they need us. They are the worst kind of people, and they do not deserve to live." Staring with my one good eye, I asked my question again. "Why did you protect them?"

Ikari seemed on the verge of tears, but never truly cried. Was it possible that Rei could be more human than him? As I studied him during our conversation, it occurred to me Ayanami was not as inhuman as the fans made her out to be. At least as a partial clone of Yui, she retained some of the woman's humanity. Shinji, on the other hand, had more in common in Gendo, and none of the softness of humanity to refine him. In a way, he was far more dangerous than his father. He was a creature with emotions, but without the knowledge necessary to control them.

"Helping others," he began, "is that what makes them like you?" The surviving Ikari clenched his fists. "If helping others, living and dying for them does not make them like you, what does?"

"You cannot expect them to like you," I explained. "They do not even respect you." Shinji nodded, glaring at me. I glared back, finding myself clenching my fists. There are some people that irradiate emotions. Even for people like me who get as much emotional hints from a person as a rock or a tree, people like Shinji Ikari, people who have suffered, they know how to make it very clear as to precisely what they are feeling. "Shinji, do you hate me?"

Ikari nodded.

"But, do you respect me?" This time, Shinji did not know the answer, and looked again at the tracks leading out of the station off into the distance. "A person can hate someone, but still respect them as a human being. So I ask again, do you respect me?"

"I... do not know," the boy mumbled.

I took a deep breath. This was something I knew Shinji had to know. "Shinji, there is someone who will respect you and love you as a friend." The boy glanced my way, then back at the tracks. "He will be the Fifth Child, and he will also be the Seventeenth Angel." At that moment, Ikari shifted, and I almost didn't notice his right fist balled up, ready to strike. "Rokubungi, your _father_, will order you to kill him, but you will do it willingly-"

Shinji's fist smashed into my lower jaw, and I toppled off the bench onto the cement floor of the train station. I blinked twice before my vision began to clear, Shinji stradling me, his hands gripping around my throat. The Third Child snarled as I stared up at him helplessly. "Go on, do it," I grumbled. "What's the matter? Go on, kill me!"

Shinji snapped out of his anger, staring into my eye, then down at his hands. "COME ON! DO IT!" Ikari's hands loosened, leaving welts around my neck as he fell into my chest, beginning to cry. "WHAT? You going to sit there and cry like a baby, or do what you have to do?" Sighing, I wrapped my arms around the boy. "Shinji, listen to me," I whispered into his ear. "Are you listening?"

Ikari nodded, tucking his head into my neckline. It took every ounce of my will to accept the fact he was treating me as a female, as was expected of him. Sometimes I pitied how all the biological aspects such as hormone-driven emotions were denied me. While I didn't have the difficulties of the typical teenage female hitting puberty, it is far harder to function as a man in a woman's body when you are unwilling to behave as a woman.

"You have a choice," I explained. "Forget duty, forget reason." Easing him off of me, I rose to my feet and extended my hand, helping him to stand. The boy was blushing, and I was almost ready to lash out at him for thinking that way about someone he was told was his sister. However, the survival of humanity, no, rather the survival of Shinji Ikari required I continue on this course. Screw the rest of humanity. They were the ones responsible for forging a weapon like Shinji. "Do what you need to do, for _you_. What do you want?"

"But... I have to kill the Angels," he mumbled. "If I kill them, it will all be over-"

I gripped Shinji's shoulders in my hands. "_Nothing_ is over, Shinji," I hissed, the quote obviously coming from one of Stallone's better films. Suddenly, I had the feeling I was being watched. Turning, I found the purple-haired major helping the wretching, exhausted Children to the platform. Her eyes were on me, studying me as if I were nothing but a worthless insect. "Nothing is over," I repeated, directing my message more to Katsuragi than Shinji. "You don't just turn it off!" Ikari shook his head, not understanding.

In the end, he would never understand. None of them would.

•••••••••••••

I walked into the kitchen, taking the collected glasses and dishes from our impromptu dinner to the sink. Over the noise of the running water, I could still hear the movie continuing. It was almost over now, the sad theme song "It's a Long Road" playing over the speaker. First Blood was another of my favorite films, but it did not go over well with the others, including Kensuke. A few seconds later, the end credits began to roll, and I could hear the occupants of my living room shift uncomfortably in their seats on the couch.

"That was... depressing," Hikari said simply.

"I found it very appropriate," I replied. "Now, who's up to watching Unforgiven?"

"If you didn't know, we still have school tomorrow," the class representative protested. "We have wasted enough time."

After a few minutes, the Children shuffled out the door, Shinji the last to leave. "Why?" he asked with pleading eyes, his body frozen in the doorway. "Why did you want to die?"

"If you do not stop me, I _will_ take steps," I answered, my black eye devoid of emotion, of human weaknesses. "You will not like what I will do." The young Ikari shook his head. "Remember, as long as you have power, use it! Not for Misato, not for Asuka, not for anyone else but you!" I took a deep breath. "Commander Ikari, your father, is planning to start Third Impact."

The Third Child shuddered, and bolted out the door. "To think I admired you," I grumbled. "You were never running away to me."

•••••••••••••

The large steel crate arrived at the port in Tokyo-2 early the next morning. Maya complained at first, but after I insisted I would never bug her for another favor again, she gave me a ride to the docks. "What is it?" the lieutenant asked, surprised. "Who sent it?"

"Ritsuko did," I replied casually. "I asked her to buy it for me, and ship it as soon as possible." The workmen pulled the retaining pins and swung the door to the steel container open. The sharp, refined curves of the vehicle were covered gracefully in the protective white canvas. A swift but gentle tug of the car cover revealed what I had been waiting nearly two months for since my compensation was partially paid by Gendo.

The car was in rough shape, but not as bad as I had driven before. The paint was corroding and patched with flat black primer spots. A quick inspection under the hood revealed everything I needed to limp home, but not much else. How could someone strip the turbo off a car known for being turbocharged? Opening the driver side door, I fastened the shoulder belt, turned the ignition, and after three grunted protests, the engine roared to life.

"Excuse me," one of the work crew began. "You can't drive this home! It's not registered!"

"Watch me!" I said, extending my NERV identification and flooring the gas. I had no intention of ever registering this car, or even getting the title put in my name. The 1987 Buick Grand National GNX was a rare vehicle, even in my world. It pained me to remove the identification numbers, the only tags which made this car worth anything. Like any General Motors product of the 1980s and later, of course, the vehicle identification number was impossible to remove without taking out the windshield. So, I did the next best thing, and simply painted a strip of flat black primer over the windshield which revealed the VIN code.

The sputtering engine must have given my position away, but I continued to use as many side streets as possible until I was safely out of the city. Almost by fate, I had found the perfect spot for the Buick's storage: a derelict, decaying auto shop on the edge of Tokyo-3 which paralleled the tracks of the city light rail. In fact, it was the only building left in the small town which was demolished for the construction of Tokyo-3's rural highway.

The bolt cutters, sledge hammer, and bag of tools I had purchased the day before gave me all I needed for a quick, forced entry. The interior consisted of rotting pin-up girl posters, dented, stained concrete, and a rusted solid hydraulic lift. Even with the broken windows, it was perfect.

Three hours and a few plywood boards later, all of the broken windows were covered, the remaining ones painted over in thick spray paint. I swept the floor, checked over the remaining tools, and for security purposes, added a few trip wires with some improvised boobytraps. Then came the extra stash of clothes, three hundred thousand yen, and a few weapons from my collection scattered in the condemned office of the shop. One heavy padlock and a stolen "for lease" sign later, everything was secure.

The hike from the auto shop to the last station along the train route was only about half a mile. Everything seemed fine as I paid for a ticket with spare change, avoiding the use of my NERV identification at all costs. I thought everything would go smoothly, as long as I avoided looking towards the on board security cameras in the cars. I was wrong.

"What are you doing here?" a man's voice asked as I stood near the door. I tried avoiding any reaction to the question clearly aimed at me. If I reacted, it would prove I understood fluent English, and therefore was the person they were looking for. Again, the voice called out. "Susan Ikari!" the man shouted.

Kouzou Fuyutsuki walked up to me. Then I saw his companion, a gray-haired boy of about fourteen, maybe fifteen years, the pale face smiling at me either as a warm, gentle face or a smug predator giving it's prey a false feeling of safety. "Oh crap," I grumbled. "Kaworu Nagisa, it is... interesting to meet you."

The professor raised an eyebrow, but Tabris just grinned in amusement.

End of Chapter XXII

•••••••••••••

Comments/questions/suggestions for what to put here, write a review.

•••••••••••••


	23. Chapter XXIII: Countdown

I do not own the rights to Neon Genesis Evangelion, or any of the characters, equipment, or locations written in this fanfiction. The purpose of this fanfiction is merely for the non-profit enjoyment of other readers. If requested by Gainax, Hideki Anno, or other parties which represent aforementioned objects in this story, I will remove it promptly.

**Chapter XXIII:**

"I'm not surprised you're banning me from NERV," I sighed, leaning against the wall of the light rail car. "What is it this time? Did the psychologist wet himself?"

"You threatened to murder civilians with the Eva!" the aged man coughed out hoarsely, trying to look intimidating. However, Fuyutsuki was far beyond his prime. I wondered if an infinite existence in a nursing home as divine punishment in Instrumentality would be enough to get him off my back, when Tabris grinned in amusement of my comment. "The Sixth Child, Kaworu Nagisa, has been chosen as the pilot for Unit-02."

"Unit-02?" I asked in confusion. "You don't trust him with Unit-04? Or is Asuka mastering that Eva?"

"Pilot Soryu," Kouzou started, rubbing his forehead in an attempt to relieve stress, "is... indefinitely hospitalized." That wasn't supposed to happen, and something seemed off. The paranoia came back as I considered the scenario might require the German girl to make some amazing recovery of her mental faculties at the verge of vegetable life. Gendo would clearly be more than willing to carry out a medically-induced coma, but I was wondering if that were the real cause. "She would be classified as comatose, but she keeps repeating one word."

"What word?"

"Why are you privileged to know?"

"It is most unfortunate," Nagisa began, "Unit-04 is an impressive construct." Construct? Why did he choose that specific word? That was the same way I described the Eva. Nodding hesitantly, I started to feel a stabbing headache. Gripping my head in both hands, I shut my eyes tightly. Minor echoes seemed to whisper in my mind. Then I felt Kaworu's footsteps in the soles of my shoes, the thin gauge steel plating of the light rail car perfect for sensing movement. "Is something wrong?" Tabris asked. But it was worse, as I didn't hear it just in my ears, but his question rang out in my head.

"I think... you know what is happening," I spoke, breathing in quick gasps to keep the nauseous feelings under control. If anything, the rapid breathing just made me light-headed, bringing more nausea. I closed my eyes tighter, and just let my body slide to a fetal position on the floor. I didn't even want to think about who had put or done what on the aged floor I was lying on, as I was feeling too sick to think clearly. My head wouldn't stop pounding, and even the thought of whiskey just made me want to puke.

"Pilot Ikari?" Fuyutsuki asked. That was the first time he didn't hesitate when using that particular surname to address me. Now I strongly regretted the chilidog and orange juice I had improvised for lunch that day. I was just about to ask for an ambulance when the stomach contents all came up, sliding towards the opposite end of the car as the train took a turn. Fuyutsuki's black leather shoes were stained, as well as Kaworu's sneakers. "IKARI!" the professor's voice cried out, seeming to fade out into the background noise.

•••••••••••••

At least the smell was gone. Whoever washed the bile out of my hair, I was hoping to thank them generously if I ever met them. Again I woke up in the same hospital room as before, an intravenous drip supplied to my right arm. "Why do you keep coming by?" I grumbled, running my left hand over my face as the major stood over me. "I'm not your favorite pilot, after all."

"What happened?" Katsuragi asked the same question again, but now in a more pleading tone. Okay, so her catch phrase for me wasn't "don't you dare", but "what happened?" It wasn't much of an upgrade, but it seemed to fit my role perfectly. I went from the troublemaker to the bizarre character in a situational comedy. I should have chosen the name Murphy. "Susan? Can you hear me?"

"Is it safe?" I asked. "This needs to be secret." My vision was still hazy, but now both eyes were open, the stereoscopic effect helping me realize Katsuragi was turning her head left and right. She nodded, which brought back a slight feeling of nausea, but it passed. "Disable Unit-02 and Unit-04. Lock them down in bakelite."

"Why?" she asked. Misato's breathing became panicked. "What aren't you telling me?" Remembering my mistake from before with the hidden cameras in the detention cell, I mouthed the words "Nagisa", and "Angel." Misato couldn't believe it, or at least I didn't think she could. "You... you lie!" she cried.

"Where is... Asuka?" I groaned, touching the left side of my face. The feeling seemed to be coming back, and I noticed after a few attempts that I could at least twitch the upper eyelid. Misato shook her head sadly, a few tears trickling down her cheek. "Will she recover?" I asked. Again, Misato shook her head.

"I will go... disable the Evas," she started, turning towards the door.

There was one other possibility to deal with Kaworu. I knew keeping the Eva from him would simply lead him to another course of action to get what he wanted, which could be far more difficult to predict. "Wait a minute," I cried out, reaching for the major. Misato looked back at me, an excited, nervous smile on her face. Was it hope? Hope for what? "Hide Unit-04 in Terminal Dogma, and the minute there is trouble, send me down there."

Misato's smile faded. "Then, you will need this," she said, handing me her cellphone. "You still don't carry yours with you, do you?" I shook my head. The major stumbled out of the room. I thought I could hear her start to sob again before the door closed. Whatever was going on, I was just so tired. I was tired of being angry, tired of having to fight other people, and mostly tired of having to deal with other people. I was too tired to care about what their problems were.

•••••••••••••

The headache was gone, which gave me the time to think that all I really wanted was a nice dinner, and a quiet evening drive on some windy country road in California with Asuka, Hikari, and Kensuke. Shinji had too much baggage for too little spine, and Rei was just cold. Asuka, Hikari, and Kensuke, I suppose I could deal with, if I didn't put the fear of God into them. Now I knew what Soryu meant when she said it would be convenient to be friends with Rei. True friendship would not come my way, not in this world.

There was a knock on the door. "Come in," I called out, another phrase I made sure to memorize in Japanese. Maya walked in, a false smile on her face. Joining her was Doctor Reynolds. We chatted for a few moments, before coming to the subject of what else was wrong with my body. "What is it this time?"

"The left side of your face, if you've noticed, is starting to work again," Reynolds began. "I talked to the physician who treated you, and they told me that side was twitching while you were unconscious." I nodded. That didn't seem too bad. "But we have a problem."

Ben held up a penlight to my eyes, studying their lack of reaction. "The pupils are not dilating. Why aren't you squinting? It should be too bright." I shook my head. For some reason, the light level, regardless of what it was, seemed perfectly fine to me. "Something really wrong is going on up there, and the neurologist insists on more extensive tests."

"Great," I grumbled.

•••••••••••••

Two hours of tests, and it wasn't as bad as I expected. It was worse. At least I could give up the eyepatch, as neuromuscular control slowly came back to all of my face. I almost didn't notice Lieutenants Makoto and Shigeru walk behind me in the target range to the armory. They must have been surprised to see me down there, the modified AR-15 assault rifle heavy in my hands, the drop in weights to the buttstock and foreend helping stabilize it for match competitions. I was in a sitting position, legs crossed, giving me good bone support for my left arm. It took a few more seconds for me to notice Ibuki was with them, the woman leading the way.

I was glad to see she was taking her own survival more seriously. It still sickened me sometimes, remembering what happened to her. I always wondered how she could think and feel about herself the same as she did before. I had the same doubts and unsettling feelings around Ritsuko as well, but Maya was different. She was pure, innocent before that trouble in Nevada, and the very thought of those corpses made me want to hurt them again. "Susan?" Maya asked. She waited until I squeezed off a few more rounds before she tapped my shoulder.

I toggled the action selector to safe, and set the rifle aside. "Just sighting in a new scope," I answered, nodding to the weapon. Rather than the carry handle above the charging handle, this match grade AR-15 had a picatinny rail set up. This made it easy for the new variable power 40 millimeter scope to be mounted. "Bore-sighting is far easier on an AR-15 than a Kalishnikov," I continued.

"P-pilot Ikari?" Hyuga stuttered, watching me take a long swig from the bottle of whiskey. It was disturbing me how much I was becoming reliant on the buzz from alcohol, but it is the only thing I could do to stomach everything that had happened in this world. I just glared at the man, making him squirm. "We... we heard things... how you tried to kill some girls at school."

I just took another swig, the bottle nearly empty.

"You... you were going to kill people... with the EVA..." Aoba grimaced, his voice barely above a whisper. "You would actually do that? _Actually_ target the shelters?"

"Yeah," I grumbled.

"How-how can you say that?" Makoto gasped. The lieutenant gripped the collar of my black tactical vest, jerking me up to stand. "We are fighting to _protect_ those people!"

"Hyuga!" Ibuki cried. However, the man did not let go. "Susan, please," Maya contiued. "The Suzuki family, they use those shelters, too! What about them?" My cold, distant stare seemed to answer her question as the woman folded her arms near her stomach as a defensive posture. Her face pulled down into a sad, dejected form. "You would... hurt them too? Your friends?"

"You think it's easy, just pulling the trigger?" Aoba started in his sarcastic, Earthly wisdom hippie voice. How in the hell someone like him ended up an officer, I'd never understand. People like him were the reason this whole organization had been allowed to get away with so much. People like him were far too used to criticizing actions, but never took action. They were observers, not heroes.

"It's never easy," I snarled, taking another swig of whiskey. "You take everything a person has, and everything they would have had." I slung the rifle over my shoulder, and squinted at him, pulling my jaw tight until I was clenching my teeth. The gaunt features of my face were far too masculine to give the desired curves and features which made a female my age cute. But if I were male in this world, it would have made me look tough, dangerous, and handsome. Instead, a female with my features and scars just looked like a bitter, mean goat.

"You would kill them?" Ibuki sniffled, "just like those soldiers in Nevada?"

"I would be 33 this December, if the me in this world were not already dead," I grumbled, disengaging the safety on the rifle. Taking another swig, I chucked the bottle downrange. Quickly I flipped the selector to full automatic, the rifle being an obsolete A1 variant, and just went at the improvised target. I nailed it after two squeezes of the trigger. The anger flared up again, and I let loose. The automatic fire echoed for seconds after I finally ran out of ammunition. "NOW I WON'T EVEN LIVE PAST FOURTEEN! Why the _hell_ shouldn't I kill these people? They're _nothing_! They make Asuka, Rei, and Shinji climb into those things, risk their lives for them?"

The three lieutenants stood in shocked silence. "And you! All of you just let those kids get pushed around until they end up dead or thrown away for a more proficient Child. WHO ARE YOU? WHO ARE YOU TO QUESTION ME?" I would have said more, but I shouted so much I nearly lost my voice. As it was, I was strongly considering the weapon in my hands. How easy it would have been. Just wipe the rifle clean of prints, and toss it away at the bazaar later tonight. It would be nothing for me to get away with.

Makoto was against the armory wall, the barrel in his mouth not five seconds later. I took his glasses away, more as a courtesy. They were just another object to weigh him down before his death. He didn't need them anymore. Shigeru tried to stop me, threatening to shoot. But I told him I was quicker, and Maya stopped him. Aoba didn't believe it, but Ibuki did. She knew, because she had seen it in Nevada.

"Chris!" a voice shouted to my right, coming from the range entrance. It was so long since I had heard my name, I almost didn't react. But I knew that tone, regardless of the name. It was the same I had heard in school, the same I had heard from friends and family, scared to death as to what I was capable of, trying in vain to instill discipline. It wasn't so much my transgressions as the fact I had little or no pity for my "peers". Somehow considering a person as nothing more than a system which can be turned on or off, made to live or die, was seen as inappropriate. Such creatures had no intellect, no value to me. They were merely obstacles, and death was just the final tool in my various means to clear the road.

"Chri-Susan... whoever you are," Misato called out softly. "Please, just..." What could this woman tell me to do? How did she have the right to stop me from doing what needed to be done? Hate, vengeance, the desire for power are all natural desires. "Just... please... for Shinji?"

"Damn it," I muttered, pulling the rifle away from Hyuga. Keeping the AR-15 in my hands, the barrel in the general direction of my new enemies, I simply stared straight back at their wide, tearful eyes. Such a name, such an insignificant noun for a boy, a failure, had stopped me. I thought back to the oath I had made with Unit-02, and my desire to set things right. How could I keep my word when something like Shinji Ikari's name could stop me from this?

Misato's warm hug and tear-streaked face had an effect, regardless of how I tried to block it out. I had to remain strong, distant, cold, but it wouldn't work. I knew what had happened meant something to her. It started to make sense. She was afraid. Katsuragi believed she could offer nothing to the Children, that she could not shield them from evil or stop them from destroying themselves. She couldn't help the others: Ayanami, Ikari, Soryu, or Suzahara. However, something as simple as preventing one person's death had given her hope that she could save me.

"You heard from Reynolds?" I asked. Misato nodded. "I'm just tired. Tell Nagisa and the Committee to hurry up. No more school, no more people. I want these Angels out of my head, and I want this whole goddamn world over with." Misato opened her mouth, probably about to say something like "But there's so much else to live for." But she was smarter than that. In the end she hadn't saved me, or the rest of the world.

She just saved one worthless, coward of a lieutenant who would die anyway.

End of Chapter XXIII

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Comments/questions/suggestions for what to put here, write a review.

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	24. Chapter XXIV: More Obstacles

I do not own the rights to Neon Genesis Evangelion, or any of the characters, equipment, or locations written in this fanfiction. The purpose of this fanfiction is merely for the non-profit enjoyment of other readers. If requested by Gainax, Hideki Anno, or other parties which represent aforementioned objects in this story, I will remove it promptly.

**Chapter XXIV:**

I woke up on the couch in Misato's apartment, the major standing overhead. "Are you okay?" There was no pain, and as I squinted under the intensity of the fluorescent lighting, I noticed all the muscles in my face respond. The digital display on what looked like a DVD player indicated it was past midnight.

"No," I said. "I think I'm dying." I gave a mischievous grin, causing the woman to grimace for a moment. It was a true enough statement, but she didn't want the sarcastic answer. "No, I feel much better. Thank you, for letting my stay over."

The woman ran her hand softly over my forehead, and I shifted uncomfortably. "You said... the Angels are still inside you?" I nodded. There was no hint of disgust as I expected from someone with a vendetta, nor any wish to kill me. However, there was a look of pity, the kind a religious zealot gives someone who isn't "saved." "What is it like?"

I closed my eyes. "Major, it was not the Angels who killed your father. You know it was sabotage by Seele, right?" Misato nodded, though I didn't believe it was entirely sincere. "I can tell you for a fact that the Angels are after the same thing Seele is, the same thing NERV was created for." I paused for a minute. "Have you ever seen the film Highlander?"

Misato shook her head.

"Rent that movie, and you will understand what this war truly is." I looked around the living room. "Where is Shinji?"

"He is... with the enemy," Misato sighed.

I sighed. "There can be only one."

•••••••••••••

I was startled awake by the apartment door sliding open around three in the morning. The light footsteps and shorter stride indicated the visitor was shorter than Misato, and much lighter. "Shinji?" I whispered. The footsteps stopped. "Misato is asleep." Then I felt the stabbing headache again, and threw my right hand to my head, almost pulling the hair out of my scalp. Ikari was there in a second. "Kaworu... is here?"

"He... walked me here," the boy breathed. He did not understand the connection to my question and my pain. Of course he would not understand, though. He had no idea what was happening, and for that I envied him. He would not suffer with the constant pain of knowing the things to come. His pain would be different. He would be the trigger, the very initiator of everything. We both pitied each other, and in that pity, we finally found some kind of common ground. "Why?" he asked.

"Shinji... Kaworu is the last Angel."

As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I saw the boy's hand draw back, ready to strike, but it never came. Instead, I watched Ikari frozen in place, his eyes wide, tears running down his cheeks. He knew what I was capable of when someone hurt me, or so much as insulted me. "Go ahead," I said. "Do it. I am dying, anyway. Just do it, and go to sleep."

"Y-you... are dying?" Now the tears were really beginning to flow. He couldn't think clearly enough to form the words in English, but I guessed he asked why. Shinji was still frozen when I rose from the couch, and gripping his shoulders, guided him to sit with me.

"It is the Angels which hurt Asuka and I," I began, whispering to the frightened, burdened Child. "They are inside my head. They are killing me slowly." My hands clenched his shoulders a little too tightly, causing him to yelp. "Sorry," I said, pulling my arms away. "Shinji, I am really sorry... about school..."

"Just... leave me alone!" he cried, leaping to his feet. He was about to leave when we both froze in place. Misato's cellphone rang, the distant chime signaling from the woman's bedroom. In thirty seconds Katsuragi was stumbling out in uniform, flipping on the kitchen lights. "Mi-Misato?" Ikari gasped.

"He is making his move," Misato said, then turned to Shinji. It was a long, emotional conversation, and from what I could make out, she was begging Ikari to fight again. The Third Child, however, wished to refuse. Finally, he seemed to give in, but as we made our way to the door, I shoved him back into the apartment.

"Stay here," I growled. Shinji glared at me, but would not make a move. Then I pulled out the Jericho pistol, causing him to shudder. However, I set it on the floor near Ikari's shoes. "Misato, tell Shinji the weapon is ready for him to use. He just needs to disengage the safety, and he can kill me after I stop Kaworu."

Misato wrenched the collar of my dress shirt, and jerked me to within inches of her face. She wasn't going to hit me again, as she knew I had been hurt too many times. Any more damage, and I was useless as a pilot. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" she screamed. Ikari cupped his ears with his hands, shaking his head violently. He didn't want any part of this, and neither did the major.

"TELL HIM!" I shouted back. "Misato... I am about to kill his best... no, his ONLY friend! All I can give him now is the satisfaction of revenge, and maybe a contribution to his college tuition, _if _we survive!" Katsuragi glared back, confused. "What do you think I was doing with that money I demanded from the Commander? You think I'd really just blow it all on stupid trinkets?" The woman tried to protest, but I continued. "In my apartment, hidden in an open frozen food box in the freezer is everything you need to get the Children out. All the contact information, rendezvous points, the directions to a safehouse with money, clothes, guns, and an unmarked car. After Shinji kills me, take them all, and get to the airport."

"But-" she began.

"If Shinji doesn't kill me, if I live, we will work this out together." I glanced over at the boy, Ikari still trying to block out the conflict. "This is all I can do for them. Do you understand? I can't give anymore, so don't start complaining now." It took another thirty seconds for Misato to attend to the boy. "Shinji, I will do what I can, but if I have to kill Kaworu, I will."

Shinji Ikari never spoke to me again.

•••••••••••••

Misato was going to drive, but I was faster on my feet. She screamed and cursed, but she had an idea I knew how to drive, and I would not back down. We were within two kilometers of the GeoFront automotive escalator (that is the best way I can describe it, as it's designation in Japanese is still unfamiliar to me) when the major finally noticed I was driving a hell of a lot better than she did. "H-how-?" she began.

"I was taught as early as eight years old how to drive a stick," I explained. "I've ridden motorcycles, driven cars, even operated a bulldozer." Misato didn't seem to understand, until I explained further. "You know, tank tracks, big shovel on front?"

"Where did you-?"

"Your brakes need to be replaced," I groaned, the squeaking of the wear indicators digging into the rotors again torturing my eardrums. "You also need an alignment job, maybe check the sway bar end links, and for God's sake, rotate the tires sometime this century!" I had to shove the brake pedal all the way to the floor to finally begin to stop, and the brakes immediately gnashed their abrasive surfaces into the rotors. "Jesus Christ!" I hissed. "Can't you even set the brakes right? Who's been servicing this car?"

"What are you complaining about?" she snapped in response. "Do you know how to fix a car?"

"YES!" I shouted.

"...Oh..." Misato whispered, tilting her head downard as we reached the entrance to the GeoFront.

•••••••••••••

The emergency elevator was slower than I imagined, but we were ahead of Kaworu. Even without Unit-01 to keep him and Unit-02 occupied, he had to punch his way through so many layers of armor and reinforced steel. Considering Rei could retrieve the Lance of Longinus in about ten to fifteen minutes unrestricted by headquarters' defenses, and I could get to the Eva in maybe eight minutes tops, there would be time. However, it would be cutting it close, and the S2 drive was still touchy.

"You were serious about escaping?" Katsuragi mentioned casually as we descended in the elevator. I nodded, causing the woman to panic. "But... that's wrong! We can't just leave our posts! They will find us!"

"Then we kill them," I answered simply.

We stood in complete silence as the elevator sped past the last remaining levels, the buzzer sounding just a few seconds later. The doors opened slowly, and I was cursing the engineers who had built this high speed elevator for nearly ten seconds before I could bolt into the dark void outside. I could make out the shape of my partner in crime. Primer gray on black, its outline was insignificant compared to the expanse it kneeled in. I was still trying to figure out how to reach the entry plug when Misato shouted at me. "The target's almost here!" she screamed. "Get in there!"

"Where is the ladder?" I shouted back. Instantly the major pointed behind the Eva. A very thin, fragile looking frame extended all the way to the back of the exposed entry plug. I had no time to waste, but during the three minutes it took to scale the structure, I was constantly thinking about how I could possibly get into the cockpit. "Have to straddle the bloody plug like I'm some cheap hooker," I grumbled to myself. "Then somehow keep from falling and getting killed."

I reassured myself that if I got to the plug, I would at least be able to activate it faster than any other pilot. I was already deployed at Nagisa's goal, and therefore had the advantage of a prepared defense. Then I looked below me, to the right. Just as I reached the top of the structure, scrambling over the entry plug, I could see it, my weapon of choice. As much as Misato hated me, she at least knew me better than me. The giant positron rifle would prove more than effective at point blank range, AT-Field or no.

Another minute of carefully working into the entry plug, and I was in. "Hurry up!" Misato screamed from below. Shouting wasn't going to help, and besides, I was now at the part which took the least amount of time. Maya was on the tac-net, keeping me updated as I sealed the plug, and began the initiation sequence. "ETA, thirty seconds," she stated. I nodded, forcing my face to avoid smirking. I had gotten down to 25 seconds in the simulated plug for the harmonics test just a few days before, training with Asuka. Everything seemed fine, until the last step of the sequence.

"Oh crap," I grumbled. "S2 drive... inactive." The positron rifle was connected directly to an auxiliary socket in Unit-04's spine. Even if I could aim and fire the positron rifle without the Eva, it still needed power. Without the S2 drive, therefore, I had no rifle, no prog knife, not even so much as a self destruct device. Then I saw the ceiling crumble away, something big descending, and it was brilliant white in the infrared display. "Maya?" I asked, my voice hinting at panic. "How fast can you get me an umbilical?"

"Not... possible," she replied. "The cages are damaged." Then she asked the important question. "Why?"

"Great..."

•••••••••••••

I cursed and spat, hammering the controls with my fists. "You lousy piece of crap!" was one of my least offensive lines, most of which would make a sailor blush. It sickened me how fate was always against me. Here I was, the last Angel to defeat, and of all the times the S2 drive had to fail, it had to go now. As I studied each display, desperately looking for the fault which hindered the S2 drive, the headache returned, stabbing me in the back of my skull.

"You will not find... what you are looking for," I snarled over the built-in loudspeaker. "This is Lillith, not Adam, Kaworu." The Angel and it's puppet, represented as an incredibly small white dot compared to the massive, amorphous form in the display, both stopped abruptly. The headache suddenly grew worse, and my vision turned to gray.

Before I passed out, I accessed the communications controls. Now, to the credit of the engineers who had built Unit-04, the communications system was far more advanced than the other models. It made sense, I thought, as I hammered the ten key buttons, dialing Misato's cellphone number. Of course Unit-04 would have the ability to interface with most telecommunications systems, as well as have the standard scrambled communications computer. Clearly the engineers of Unit-04 remembered the invasion of Grenada back in '83, when soldiers had to relay communications through standard long-distance telephone lines, as their radios were either jammed or monitored.

Unit-04 was a command and control model, after all.

"Yes?" Misato demanded in Japanese.

"Misato, I need emergency power to Unit-04 immediately," I answered. "The S2 drive just crapped out." There was a short pause as the major must have wondered how I not only called her cellphone from Unit-04, but how I was able to override her existing conversation with the command deck. "The existing batteries for the shoulder pylons won't fit. I need an adapter to plug directly into the umbilical."

"I'm on it," she answered. Then everything seemed to go quiet, as a high pitched tone filled my head. I felt light-headed, and leaned forward as the nausea came back. "Susan? SUSAN?" I was going to answer, but decided against it, and cancelled the communications link. My vision grayed out again, then went black.

•••••••••••••

I was there again, back in my red GTO, the woman in the blue dress sitting as she had before in the passenger seat. This time we were closing in on Sacramento, along Highway 16 headed west. I could tell, because we had just passed this abandonned 50's era gas station with it's adobe and checkered tile convenience store. It was the same gas station I remember stopping at before with my grandparents, back when gas was only a dollar and some odd cents per gallon.

"It is nearly time," the brunette spoke. I reached down to feel the Hurst M40 shifter handle in my hand, finding the woman setting her hand over mine. I cringed, trying to shake her grip without disturbing the transmission. Only my girlfriend did that, and that feeling of her hand reinforcing my decisions, assuring me things were going okay, would only belong to her. "You do not approve?"

"No, I do not," I answered coldly. "I do not want you, or anyone else besides-"

"Besides the Lillim you love?"

"...Yes," I replied shakily. It annoyed me how she was in my head, knowing all of my thoughts before I could say them.

"But this was what you did to everyone else, right?" she said, again rifling through my thoughts. I could have written this recollection another way, but I felt it was best to leave all my failings and frailty intact, so as to show the reader just how connected this creature and I were. I was going to answer again, but she continued. "Yes, I do not need to explain." She gave me a wink and a kind smile. "You are quite intelligent, for one of the Lillim. And no need to thank me."

"Bad grammar," we both answered in unison. Okay, that was getting a little too creepy. More importantly, what was even more disturbing was the fact I was getting the impression she was taking a liking to me. Of course, she, or rather it, could have just been manipulating my mind to give off the illusion of a caring, nice woman. Again I forgot how my thoughts could be so easily read, and just as I thought that, she called me on it.

"If I were really going to try and seduce you, I would take on a more pleasing form," she answered, turning her head to stare mindlessly out the windshield. "Short hair, a few more curves, or perhaps..." The next time I turned to face her, she was an identical copy of Maya Ibuki, the uniform, the badges, and the works. Before I could even cringe, she changed back as I checked the gauges again. "It does not please you, seeing her instead of me."

"You know what I am thinking. Do I have to vocalize it?"

"I know you. You would prefer to express everything by voice. You hate your random thought noise, don't you?" My mind skipped for a moment, flashes of memories I did and did not want to remember obstructing the illusion. "_That_ is precisely what you fear the most, isn't it? Another, especially someone you care about, seeing what you don't want to remember." She paused, then blushed. "And are you becoming more comfortable with my presence?"

I looked again at the gauges, and realized the needle pointing to nearly an empty tank was some kind of metaphor. "We cannot get to Adam from here, and you know it," I grumbled. The woman shifted in the passenger seat, and resting her right elbow out the open window, propped her head up with the palm of her hand. "We have to get to Rokubungi." Then the thought occurred to me. "What _would_ happen if an Angel came in contact with Lillith?"

"But we are not going as an Angel," she explained. "We are going as the substitute for Human Instrumentality." The imaginary hairs on the back of my neck stood up as we passed by a few houses, near the railroad tracks which cross Highway 16 just south of downtown Sacramento. She nodded as she realized I understood, but vocalized her thoughts, nodding as I considered she was doing it as a courtesy to me. "We are part Angel, part a copy of Lillith, as you consider Unit-01, and part human."

"But I can't," I protested. "I made a promise to them."

"Even though you truly hate _all_ of them, and before you protest, I know you hate them." Thoughts of Kensuke surfaced, as well as those of Hikari. I would have thought about Toji, but I didn't really get the chance to meet him. They were the potentially salvageable characters, but I highly doubted I could tolerate them for long. "See?" she asked. "You wish to befriend them, but they have their own agendas when they are near you."

"Alright," I sighed. "But you know what I'm going to do if we join with Lillith." She did know, and her eyes made a crude copy of sadness, glancing down at the floor. "Do you still wish to crush your sibling, and proceed?" The gauge was almost at empty, as the GTO approached the on-ramp for Interstate 5 headed north. I saw the woman nod out of the corner of my eye. "Then let's hope Misato has the emergency power supply ready, and we can get this mess over with."

"That will not be necessary," the woman answered as my vision faded to black. When I blinked, my vision came back, I was in the entry plug, ears bombarded with radio traffic. Then I noticed the large orange digits, the countdown timer for the main power reading all eights.

"S2 drive... active," I muttered, disengaging the weapon safeties.

End of Chapter XXIV

•••••••••••••

Comments/questions/suggestions for what to put here, write a review.

•••••••••••••


	25. Chapter XXV: A Game of Chess

I do not own the rights to Neon Genesis Evangelion, or any of the characters, equipment, or locations written in this fanfiction. The purpose of this fanfiction is merely for the non-profit enjoyment of other readers. If requested by Gainax, Hideki Anno, or other parties which represent aforementioned objects in this story, I will remove it promptly.

**Chapter XXV:**

Forcing the Eva to walk, I switched my main display to pulse-doppler radar. Going entirely by instrumentation still frustrated me, especially since I found the millimetric wave radar used on the Apache could locate and lock on to more targets than this replica of the MiG-29 avionics. This was an American creation, after all. Why did we have to copy inferior equipment?

The nice feature of using the radar, however, was the fact I could numerically measure distance, speed, and acceleration of my targets. It was still difficult, however, applying those numerical values to actual combat. Getting a missile lock on a target was one thing, but trying to fight hand to hand was another. It was then I was wishing I was in Unit-02, which of course, had to be my enemy.

"Kaworu, are you receiving me?" I asked over the loudspeaker. The two figures in my radar display started to move towards me. I guided Unit-04 slowly into the deep pool of amber fluid, the positron rifle in hand. I checked the main power monitor again, the output fluctuating slightly at first. Then the lights dimmed for a few seconds, coming back a moment later. It was then I realized the S2 drive output was controlled much like the synchronization with the Eva, but at a far deeper level.

I felt the stabbing headache again, but it was less intense than before. "What do you want?" the voice asked, not through my communications system, but through my mind. I did my best to make my thoughts as to what I had planned as clear to Tabris as possible. "You are just as Shinji said," the Angel grunted. "You would bring that much pain to him? You would punish mankind?"

"Only if it is necessary," I replied, reaching over to the communications system controls. I wanted to make sure everyone would hear what I was about to say. "I'll give you an option out. If you surrender now, and help Shinji initiate Instrumentality, then I will ask him to tell Lillith to bring you back as a human."

Immediately the traffic on the tac-net screeched alive, complaints and pleas coming from every possible junior officer with a microphone. "If not, I will kill you, and then take Instrumentality into my hands." I raised the positron rifle in my hands. "If this doesn't kill you at point-blank range, I'm certain overloading the S2 drive will."

"You would kill all of your people, just for what you want?" the Angel asked.

I suppose aiming the positron rifle directly at him gave the answer. I had a clear target lock, but I knew the AT Field was up. Just whether or not I could punch through and kill him, I didn't know. It was a safe bet, however, whether the shot was deflected or struck my target, there would be significant damage to the surrounding structure. I knew I shouldn't have had anything to worry about, since I was in the Eva, but what about the other technicians?

"You have five seconds to choose," I grunted. Those five seconds went by rather quickly, and ended with no response. "Survival of the fittest," I sighed, letting the volume of air out of my lungs. Holding my lungs closed, I shrugged my shoulders to release any last bit of tension, and pulled the trigger. The infrared display glowed brilliantly white, while the main display gave me the same warning message the small monitor to my left indicated, stating the radar was temporarily disabled.

The infrared never cleared, the temperature so hot it seared the Eva's armor. I could feel it's pain, my skin itching uncomfortably under the plugsuit. It was almost too much for me to take, and I desired nothing more after that first pull of the trigger than to strip the suit off, and submerge myself in the coldest bath water I could find. The radar, however, came back in just a matter of minutes.

"Oh God!" Maya's distorted voice gasped over the tac-net. Then I heard her cough and wretch. It was another minute or two before the video feed was patched in to my radar monitor. My reaction was about the same as Maya's.

Kaworu, or what was left of him, was partially fused with Lillith, slowly being absorbed. Apparently there was no harm in an Angel of a different make contacting Lillith. The red Eva had taken the brunt of the damage, it's chest and head nothing more than a charred skeleton with the ash-like flesh sliding sickeningly off the construct's body like wet drywall putty. Although Unit-02 had blocked the majority of my attack, I had minimized the particle stream to it's smallest diameter, about half a millimeter, while overriding the protective circuit breakers. Of course there would be over-penetration.

His left arm was blown clean off, while the left side of his body was seared from the heat, his skin the appearance of decaying black leather. Slowly as my eyes tracked to the right side of his body, the injuries lessened. Finally, I noticed one important detail I hadn't realized up until then.

The headache was gone.

"Target... silent," Hyuuga hoarsely whispered over the tac-net. "Unit-04... return to Cage Five."

It was another thirty seconds before Misato was patched in to the communications system. "Pilot, acknowledge." Again, I maintained radio silence. "Susan? Talk to me!" It was then I noticed Rei, floating above the catwalk which stopped approximately twenty meters above Lillith's head. I still don't know how long she was there, but her expression said it all. Her jaw hung open, eyes forced to view what I had done. She was afraid, and regardless of my goals, the ends did not justify the means. "Susan? SUSAN?"

I sighed. "Acknowledged, returning to Cage Five." I realized I couldn't go through with it. As Kaworu's body sat there harmlessly in contact with Lillith, it was highly unlikely my attempt would succeed anyway. But more importantly, I couldn't bring myself to determine the fate of the world. "Still too weak," I grumbled. "Damnnit..."

Then I heard the voice in my head. Of course she would protest.

•••••••••••••

The headache came again, but this time from the true last Angel. I could hear the screams in my head, the throbbing pain growing. I had managed to take five steps towards the heavy gauge umbilical cable from the crane above in Cage Five when I had to stop. Feelings of nausea were making it impossible to keep the Eva balanced.

"Susan?" Misato asked again over the tac-net.

"...Contamination... Angel..." I managed to blurt out before nausea led to vomiting. In between gasps for oxygenated fluid and leaning the displays, trying to focus on something moving, I began cursing. I could hear some of the technicians over the internal speakers gasp and howl. While I have forgotten most of what I said, I do remember making some racist comments about the Japanese, and suggesting in an R. Lee Ermy tone a few more thermonuclear devices would have solved a majority of my problems.

"SUSAN!" the major cried out, now out of sheer disgust.

"Neurological contamination with the Sixteenth Angel confirmed," I reported, my throat dry and stinging from the residual stomach acids. "Request immediate lock down and override of all Unit-04 controls to the Magi." The umbilical cable had finally arrived, better late than never. It was my only means to return to Cage Five, after all. A few more steps, and I was able to reach out to it. I fumbled nervously with the power supply, finally plugging in to the improvised adapter in the spine of my puppet.

"Switching to external power," I sighed.

"Pilot, report your status," Rokubungi declared in his usual way.

"Seventeenth Angel destroyed, remains being absorbed into Lillith," I said. There were a few short gasps. I thought about whether or not I should have kept up the charade, and referred to it as Adam. But it was too late now. Checking the displays, there was a short black-out as the Magi overrode my inputs, but the gauges still reported the same readings. "No apparent reactions or changes from target. That whole Third Impact thing must be a hoax-"

All communication was severed by the Magi.

•••••••••••••

Later on, finding myself being examined in the hospital under heavy guard, I was conscious just long enough to see Fuyutsuki nervously stumble in. His face was pale, eyes bloodshot, and a pistol was in his hand. I had an idea why he was there. But why was I there, stripped down to wearing another of those risque disposable gowns? Nothing could be done for me. It was terminal, after all.

"Imagine that," I grinned. "You still haven't changed. Can't kill someone when the need arises, unless it's an order from Yui's lover-"

"STOP!" was all the professor could say, pressing the barrel of the pistol against my head. However, Fuyutsuki hesitated. He _always_ hesitated. Perhaps I could learn something from him. Of course, his indecision was the cause of all these problems. Reynolds and the local neurologist flinched, trying to talk to the man. "This comes from the commander," he barked. "It _has_ to be done!"

But again, the man hesitated.

"Oh, you don't know how to handle one of these, do you?" I asked. "Very simple. You are using a Jericho 941, very nice pistol. It's based loosely on the 1935 Browning Hi-Power, using a cam-actuated barrel to lock the breech. Simply pull the hammer to full cock, take up the slack of the first stage on the trigger, and when you're ready, pull the trigger back all the way in a nice, crisp, _decisive_ action. Don't hesitate!"

I felt the hard, cold surface of the weapon slide with some resistance down my scalp as the professor slumped, defeated. Turning his back to me, Kouzou stumbled back out of the room. "Ikari wants you terminated," he muttered.

"Yeah..."

"You are contaminated with an Angel. You know what this means, correct?"

"Yeah..."

Fuyutsuki snarled. "You violated the trust of Ikari on several occasions. You gave your _word_! You had your chance to keep your mouth shut, but you refused! Do you have any idea what you are doing?"

"Yeah..."

Kouzou leapt over to my side, and waved the barrel of the pistol in front of my face. "Stop saying that!" he hissed. "This is serious!" I glanced over to the doctors, and Ben understood right away. Leading the neurologist out of the room, Reynolds nodded towards the cabinet to my left. I'm surprised I never noticed it before, but out of Fuutsuki's line of sight, hanging by a plastic holster bolted under the cabinet, was a Glock, or some Glock knock-off, probably chambered in nine millimeter. I looked back to see both Reynolds and the neurologist gone.

"Unit-04 is still needed," I explained. "Seele will attack to begin Instrumentality, and you know it. Also, Rokubungi will attempt to start Instrumentality using Rei." I glared at the man for a long time, watching his face twitch nervously. "I don't know about you, but I didn't get reincarnated in this hell hole just to be turned into a puddle of goo without any say in the matter."

"Then you support Roku- I mean, Ikari?"

"Hardly," I grumbled. "I support the freedom to choose. The Angels are gone, all except the one in here." I tapped my head with my right index finger. "The Angel will probably kill me if I don't make an attempt to come in contact with Adam, and trust me, Professor, I know where Rokubungi is keeping him."

Fuyutsuki sighed, then tightened his grip on the pistol. "Then there's no choice."

"Again, you limit yourself to only the choices Rokubungi presents. So like you to be used by Yui and her degenerate widower." The man's temper flared for a moment, but regained it's exhausted, emotionally drained visage the second I started mentioning my plan. "What if Instrumentality was taken in another direction? Perhaps a harmless direction, in which the chosen one has the power to eliminate the threat of another Instrumentality, and no one is forced to evolve?"

"If this were possible," Kouzou began, cautiously probing, "how would we proceed?"

"First, we need the pilots to willingly choose to support the plan," I explained. "You people have tricked them with your psychological games long enough. They should not be forced to endure what they have, and to continue, they must know _exactly_ what they have been fighting for."

"I do not like this plan."

I slowly rose from the hospital bed, trying to hide my figure in the nearly transparent paper fabric. My head throbbed, but not as intensely as before. I knew she was trying to protest, as this wasn't the arrangement at all. Slowly, I made my way to the cabinet, and opening the doors, I began my cover. "Do you know if they have any aspirin?" I asked. "This Angel feels like it's taking a belt sander to my head."

The professor moved towards the cabinet, and that is when he noticed my true intent. He tried to bring up the pistol, but I reached out with my right hand, gripping the slide of his weapon. The man was quite strong for his age, but I deflected his forearm, and slipped it harmlessly between my right elbow and my ribcage. Gripping his bicep, I locked his arm in place while I took my time retrieving the Glock clone. "Hmm, Sig-Sauer P220 pistol," I smiled. "I always wanted one of these."

"You cannot possibly escape!" the professor breathed. "There are guards outside!"

"Only if the guards outside are willing to shoot through you, I won't have a chance," I explained. "Either way, I win. You can't possibly support a man who would kill you to silence me, and if 'Ikari' doesn't take that action, I can get away." It seemed like a long shot, but the odds didn't matter. What mattered in survival situations most was the will to survive, and at least a feasible plan. "Worst case scenario, the guards are using full metal jacket loads, meaning the rounds will pierce through you and enter me. However, if they use soft point, or jacketed hollow points, you're my human shield."

I could see the gears turning in Fuyutsuki's head. Clearly he was an officer simply by authority and not experience. He could not fathom half of what I told him, but he had an idea that I knew enough to take appropriate action. "What do you need for your plan?"

"Fake my death," I answered. "Get Section Two to back off my apartment, and I'll disappear until the time is right. Until then, you need to keep me advised as to Ikari's plan." Again, the gears were turning, but Kouzou wasn't coming to a conclusion. "Also, I need to know when the Children are not observed, so I can convince them to go ahead with the operation."

"What about Unit-04?" the professor asked.

"You will find Unit-04 is practically useless to you now," I grinned. "A little reprogramming, thanks to Ritsuko, has given me a master code to lock out all inputs. It's a voice print, and the audio sample I must match is stored in a hidden flash memory chip, of which only I know the location." Fuyutsuki gaped. "By the way, when you engaged the Magi override of Unit-04, I put that code into effect. Until I release it, the Eva cannot be commanded to synchronize with another viable pilot."

"We would not need Unit-04," Fuyutsuki began.

"I think you do. Consider first that Unit-02 is now partially vaporized, and besides Unit-01, which must be kept from Seele at all costs, Unit-04 is the only S2-equipped Eva in our arsenal." My point seemed to be getting across, as Kouzou nodded once sadly. "Now, how do I get out of here undetected?"

End of Chapter XXV

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Comments/questions/suggestions for what to put here, write a review.

•••••••••••••


	26. Chapter XXVI: Failure

I do not own the rights to Neon Genesis Evangelion, or any of the characters, equipment, or locations written in this fanfiction. The purpose of this fanfiction is merely for the non-profit enjoyment of other readers. If requested by Gainax, Hideki Anno, or other parties which represent aforementioned objects in this story, I will remove it promptly.

**Chapter XXVI:**

The first week of being officially deceased was quite interesting. I left the apartment, and instead spent those first five days at my safe house, the abandoned auto shop. The Grand National needed work, anyway. With what funds I had left, I ordered the parts for delivery.

The vehicle was fairly well maintained, but whoever thought a Grand National GNX should ever be run naturally aspirated was out of their minds. I managed to find a Grand National turbocharger with a ceramic turbine assembly, while I scrapped the exhaust manifolds for smog control equipped headers. While I neglected the smog pump and other emissions control equipment, the oxygen sensors were important to keep the electronic control module operating properly. I wasn't going to sacrifice parts I didn't need to, and there was no way I would switch over to a carburetor. The Bosch style 24 pound per hour fuel injectors would solve my fuel delivery problems.

The computer had to be adjusted. I can only thank the almost miraculous survival of the late eighties General Motors cars through the Second Impact salvage operations for there to still be a market for parts. Being an OBD One system, I needed a completely new chip. That would take about two months, but I kept myself busy with other tasks. Suspension, tires, electrical, and weatherstripping were minor tasks compared to the engine work.

By the end of that first week, the car had been torn down, and the plans made. Any shorts or damaged wiring had been repaired, while the t-tops were awaiting the new rubber. Polygraphite bushings would solve all the problems of joining the chassis and suspension components. It had been eight hour days just working on that car, while the rest was devoted to beginning my exercise regimen and sleep. It was a week of dirt, grime, and fatigue, but it was also a week of pleasure.

The joy ended as I returned to my apartment on that Saturday night. Ten o'clock at night, you would figure no one would bother you. That assumption was wrong, as I found Hiroshi Suzuki standing at my doorstep, arguing with the apartment manager. I was within five feet of them when they noticed me. "You... you're supposed to be dead!" Hiroshi squeaked.

"I get that alot," I hissed in return. Then I noticed the injuries to his arm, bruises and cuts mostly. Though through his movements, I could tell Hiroshi might have a broken bone he was trying to hide. "What's wrong? You wouldn't come here unless you-" Then it dawned on me. "It's Yuki, isn't it?"

"You just _had_ to make enemies at her school, didn't you?" he snapped, charging me. I reached out for his broken arm, and twisted it. The eldest Suzuki sibling yelped, and stumbled to the catwalk floor. "Those girls!" he shrieked. "They put her in the hospital!"

"How bad?"

Hiroshi finally looked me in the eye. "Intensive care," he breathed. "They didn't hold back."

"Five girls, I take it? A fat one, four-eyes, two pedestrians, and a girl with an improvised haircut?" Hiroshi nodded. I looked at the apartment manager. "I can pay rent tonight if you care to step inside, but this gentleman and I have some business to attend to."

The manager shook his head. "Get it to me... when able..." he stuttered, running for the elevator.

•••••••••••••

The Suzukis were furious when I arrived at their doorstep, both at Hiroshi for bringing me, and at what had happened to Yuki because of me. "I cannot do business with you anymore!" Mr. Suzuki shouted. "You know what you did to our daughter? And how am I supposed to explain to everyone at the bank that my best, deceased customer is making withdrawals?"

"You forge some cosigned papers in my alias's name," I explained. "As for your daughter, I'll settle that tomorrow."

"You think we're going to trust you?" Mrs. Suzuki cried. "You're a criminal! You've attacked people!"

"If you're going to complain," I hissed, "then get the story right." The sawed-off twelve gauge Ithaca Model 37 was the only weapon with enough stopping power I could conveniently hide under my green jacket, since I had changed into the pink t-shirt, black mini-skirt, and white sneakers. However, the implications of my gestures and the weapon I was carrying were not lost on the Suzukis, regardless of my attire. "I've killed nearly an entire platoon of soldiers, vaporized a city block, and threatened the most powerful men in the world. By the time I'm done here, I intend to kill a hell of a lot more."

While they were about to shut the door on me, Hiroshi, to his credit, held his parents back. "I can't make it right," I explained. "Nothing will ever make it right. It's done, and I'm sorry I couldn't stop it before it got to this." I pumped a round into the shotgun. "But I can get even."

"What's that going to do?" Mr. Suzuki yelled. "Violence leads to more violence!"

"Violence only continues if there's more than one side standing!" I snarled. "After tomorrow, there _won't_ be!"

•••••••••••••

The eldest Horaki sister opened the door to their small, well-kept house. Apparently midnight visitors were not unheard of for this girl. "Speak English?" I asked.

"...Some..." she said. She held up her finger a moment, and closed the door gently. A few minutes later, and one very tired, very frustrated Hikari later, the conversation began. "She speak very good English." Hikari cringed at this last sentence, and then cringed when she saw me.

"You-why are you alive?" the class representative began. I studied both of the girls and the surrounding area before responding. Both Hikari and who I guessed was Kodoma were dressed in pajamas, the class rep in a very conservative night gown, with her sister the basic shirt and pants outfit. Her sister reacted very oddly to Hikari's question. It was about then she must have recognized my face in the newspaper, the front cover no less. Later on for graduation, I took a picture of myself holding up the article titled "Junior High Student Slain!" as a joke for the graduating class.

"Yuki Suzuki," I began, thinking about how stupid a name her parents chose for her. I pulled the right flap of my jacket aside, showing the shotgun dangling by the short tactical sling from my shoulder. "Tell me about her."

Now Kodoma was shaken. Hikari, however, simply glared. It was nice to know someone who didn't respond to threats, even if she did hate me. Grudgingly, she let me in, although her sister protested the entire time. "The parents have already removed her from class, and want her transferred to Tokyo-2," Hikari started. "But it will be a while before she will attend a class again."

"You know far more than I expected. I just wanted to know who did it."

Hikari sighed. "You know who it is already, or you wouldn't be carrying _that_."

"Oh come on! I've carried weapons far more dangerous than this around town dozens of times!" Hikari plugged her ears at this, and started shaking her head. "Oh, right, you don't want to know." Kodoma looked at me, then the weapon, then back at my eyes. "Something wrong?"

"N-no..." she lied. it wasn't until I looked in a mirror on my way out that it made sense. My eyes were still black, and now it appeared the whites were starting to lose their brightness, fading to gray.

"I need to know everything," I said. "Their friends, family, phone numbers-"

"You wouldn't!" Hikari shouted "You wouldn't dare try that, would you?"

"That's Misato's line."

•••••••••••••

I decided to hold back on the attack for a couple days, until I had time to absorb everything I learned from the class rep. She probably gave me false intelligence, anyway, so I needed time to confirm it. There was only one other thing I could think about doing before I went from being a colorful side character to one of Japan's most wanted serial killers. "When you come out of this, _if_ you come out of this," I said, "I have something for you." The girl's eyes shifted slightly, but then went back to their glazed appearance. "It's called a future. I've got some starter money in your name, and some for Rei. You can do whatever you want with it, either go back to Germany and get yourself a house, keep living here, or..."

I thought for a moment that I shouldn't make the suggestion, but I should have at least offered. "Or, you can stay with me. I gave Ritsuko the option as well, but she was smart and left. I have a place and an identity to help me disappear if things get rough, and I'm certain they will. I still need to actually visit the place and build a house on the land, but Ritsuko assures me it met my requirements. I'll live 'off the grid', with my own water, electricity, and no way to be traced back to NERV."

Turning my hand to view my watch, the face on the inner surface of my wrist rather than the conventional method, I noted my time was up. "I'll visit again after, if they don't catch me."

•••••••••••••

I was still wondering if I could resolve the problem with less than lethal means two days later when one of the suspected girl's older brothers drove by, and threw a rock in my general direction. It was just a short walk from Rei's apartment to mine, but it was obvious they were observing me. The rock was about fist-sized, and struck me hard in the left calf.

It was then I pitied being female. It would have just been a bad bruise had I been in my original body, the result of a strong skeletal structure from birth, and excessive consumption of calcium from various sources. As it was, I wasn't in my original body, my bones being more slender, more fragile. Just tapping my shin with my index finger was proof enough it was more than a bruise. I could hardly stand just lying there.

In typical Tokyo-3 fashion, everyone who was walking nearby suddenly bolted, or turned away. I was smart enough to remember the Japanese word for "help", but no one came. Then things got worse. The car was backing up, and turning around. Driving the wrong direction on the road, especially at a much slower speed than what is the posted limit for that particular commercial district is usually a bad sign.

At least I got a good look at the license plate number.

•••••••••••••

Maya, again, was the first person at the hospital, but Misato was a close second, and only because she was clear across town tending to the garden Kaji left behind. She had been taken off of active duty, much like her rogue boyfriend, all for helping me defeat the enemy which threatened mankind. That was one of the few thoughts that kept running through my head as the morphine worked it's way through my veins.

How could the people in this city be such bastards? I did my job, didn't I? I only fought back when someone delivered the first blow. Even while I refused to take risks, and kept myself armed to the teeth, I was at least polite enough to deserve polite treatment. You don't run someone over with a car for retribution when your own sister started and lost the fight.

"Susan?" Misato whimpered, brushing my hair from my eyes. "Please, talk to me! Tell me what I can do to help!" Ibuki stood beside her, a weak, tear-stained smile on her face. I must have been clenching my fists, because they knew I was angry, and they tried their best to keep me calm. "We thought you were dead! Why didn't you tell us anything?"

"Unit-04," I began. However, Misato shook her head, and put her index finger to my lips, trying to silence me. "But that is what I want! Get me Unit-04, unarmed if necessary, but equipped with a palette rifle if you can manage."

Maya walked out of the room, giving me one last glance, while Katsuragi stayed behind. "Why are you doing this to yourself?"

"ME?" I ground out through clenched teeth. "Why am _I_ doing this? Did you just miss the part about someone deliberately running me over with a car? Did you miss Shinji and Kensuke being assaulted because they knew me as an acquaintance? Did you miss the platoon of soldiers in Nevada who killed and raped anyone they could in our task force?" She reacted visibly when I recalled the last two incidents. That was when I used my only good arm, my left, to swat her hands away. "They started it, not me! I just finish it, and if you don't get me Unit-03, I'm going to find another way to finish this."

"Why should I help you?" she shot back. "You can't do anything from this bed, anyway." The major was right, of course. I had left my weapons back at the apartment that day, except for the folding knife, which was quickly confiscated. My left arm was practically the only thing not strapped down to the guerney, either because everything else was fractured, or my reputation preceded me. "You should be thanking me that I've kept the rest of NERV from finding out you are here. Not even Section Two knows what happened."

"If you even _listened_ to Kaji before they put a bullet in his head, you would know I am the only ally you have!" I always have a habit of knowing precisely the most painful thing to say to a person, and having the nerve or lack of good sense to say it. Misato's mouth quivered just for a moment as she held the rest of her face blank, expressionless. Though the damage had been done. I could have been stuck in this hospital bed until Third Impact if she wouldn't cooperate.

She walked calmly to the door, opened it, walked through, and closed it gently. It was only after she was a few feet from the door, out of my field of view that I could hear her run down the hall, crying. Of course, I would just have to do it. But I didn't feel bad at all about hurting her, or anyone else. The only thing I really did feel was anger for being so helpless, when I should have crushed my enemies with brute force by now.

"I'm going to hell, aren't I?" I spoke aloud.

"Yes, you are," the woman in the blue dress answered in my head.

End of Chapter XXVI

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Comments/questions/suggestions for what to put here, write a review.

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	27. Chapter XXVII: Hobbies

I do not own the rights to Neon Genesis Evangelion, or any of the characters, equipment, or locations written in this fanfiction. The purpose of this fanfiction is merely for the non-profit enjoyment of other readers. If requested by Gainax, Hideki Anno, or other parties which represent aforementioned objects in this story, I will remove it promptly.

**Chapter XXVII:**

Reynolds thought I was out of my mind. So did Maya and the few nurses who were forced to endure my presence. "Your cover is blown," Reynolds was shouting. "It's only a matter of time before they come to take you away."

"They won't kill me yet," I sighed. "They want to make sure I'm nice and healthy before they execute me. There's no honor in shooting a cripple." Ben just rubbed his forehead, his mind exhausted. We had been arguing for nearly an hour, and he wasn't winning simply because I was too stubborn. "Besides, you said yourself, she needs a visitor or two to help urge her back from her coma, isn't that right?"

"She won't even blink when a light is turned on," the doctor said. "She doesn't respond to any stimuli. Why do you take my suggestion so seriously?"

"Because it's not her time yet." I stared out of the small window from the wheelchair the hospital lent me during my recovery. "The scenario calls for her to die a most vile, painful death at the hands of many, and for that to happen, she has to be conscious."

"You can't possibly expect me to believe your story, and your very existence here has changed the timeline. You've admitted that yourself!"

"Ben, out of all the various theories people have about alternate dimensions, I find mine to be more accurate and appropriate for this situation." I guided the chair away from the window, stopping just a few feet from Reynolds. "Consider a timeline shaped like a family tree, with two branches that split off at every infinitesimally small increment of time. Each of those branches represents a binary state for every particle's characteristics in the universe."

Ben nodded.

"Everything that was set in motion up to my arrival and has negligible influence on my actions has been either unaffected, or sped up. Regardless, those events _still_ happened. Asuka's depression, coma, and eventual death are still in play as they were determined months ago when she first arrived. I know she's going to recover. The only questions are when, and if I can influence that, can her death be avoided?"

"It's still too risky," he complained. "You're just going to wheel yourself down there after faking your own death, and tell the guards "Hi, I'm here to see the Second Child," and expect them to cooperate?"

"If they don't, I'll shoot them." I replied simply. "By the way, thanks for lending me that hardware."

Ben sighed. "Just please, try to avoid making a scene?"

•••••••••••••

"Hey Asuka," I whispered next to the girl's ear. "Hey, it's time to get moving, or do I have to whip you at something else to piss you off?" There was no response. Soryu just lay there, her eyes staring blankly at the ceiling. "If you don't start talking, I'm going to let Shinji come in here and do what I think he's going to do. Trust me, you don't want that."

Again, there was no response.

"You were so close, you know that? The Angels are gone now. There's nothing left but to carry out the last phase of my plan, and just kill time until the invasion." I glared at the unconscious figure. "Why couldn't you just be your stubborn Kraut self, and not give in?"

Asuka's right shoulder twitched slightly, but I made nothing of it at the time.

"I have a long, very rough exercise regimen to push myself through the next couple of weeks. If you want to defeat me, now is your chance. Your body is uninjured. You have the advantage." I slowly wheeled myself out of the room, and switched off the hospital room's single fluorescent ceiling lamp.

•••••••••••••

Three weeks passed by very slowly. The only thing which brought me any pleasure was physical therapy. The doctors complained that I was pushing myself, but I was still trying to get in shape during my time at college. I had never had P.E. back in high school. Just when I was making significant progress, I ended up in this universe, with a new body that needed to be honed to it's maximum.

The rec center down in the hospital's ground level was an impressive piece of work, made up of a pool room, and a small but fully stocked gym. The minute the nurse eased my wheelchair into the gym in the early afternoon after the first week, I knew I would be spending most of my time here. They even had a vertical knee raiser station, and full set of freeweights up to 55 pounds.

"That's too much weight!" Reynolds was yelling as he spotted me at the leg press station on the end of the second week. "You hardly weigh 50 kilograms, and you're pressing twice that!" Ben was the best friend I had in there, and since his only duty was being the primary optometrist, he spent most of his free time checking up on me.

"I've pressed up to 583 pounds before," I grunted after my second set of fifteen. "I _WON'T_ fail!" I glared up at Ben, clenching my fists. I took another few breaths, and started the next set. "I have to win!"

"Win against who?" the doctor barked. "The surgeons who told you that you wouldn't walk again, or your previous best?" He was smart enough when he grabbed my shoulder not to startle me, not while my legs were under a 90 kilogram load. "You're not even supposed to be walking briskly yet, and the nurse tells me you're in here trying to beat a six minute mile on the treadmill! Those machines were _never_ set to let you go that fast!"

Once the set was over, I scowled at the man. "Then I'll start running a few blocks outside tomorrow. I doubt you or any of the nurses here could catch me, not if I bothered to put effort into my running." Since the third set was over, I slowly crawled out of the seat at the universal machine, and walked cautiously to the lat pull-down station.

It was another hour that Friday night when Misato showed up. "You know, Reynolds knows more than just eyes," she huffed, striding up to me during the middle of my deltoid regimen. She wasn't in her typical outfit. This time, she was wearing her green khaki shorts, plain yellow t-shirt, and her flight jacket. "The nurses tell me you've been coming in here three hours a day, every single day since they let you in here." I set the 10 kilogram weights back into their spaces on the rack, and turned to face her. "Please, Susan, just... there will be plenty of time later. They just want you to be able to walk out of here."

"Misato," I sighed, "I've been a weakling most of my life." I hated to admit it, but it was true. "It wasn't until college I finally learned how to properly exercise. You know, before I came here, I still had never broken a six minute mile! I was _only_ thirty seconds shy! If I can just-"

The major resorted to her typical response, trying to strike me across the face. However, she and I both knew she wouldn't proceed. I had suffered too much trauma over a very short period of time, especially to my brain. Her hand hung frozen in the air as her eyes began to water. "Jesus, what do I have to do?" she sobbed. "I just don't want you to die! Is that so much to ask?"

"Sixty push-ups in a minute, eighty sit-ups in two minutes, and two miles in thirteen minutes," I answered. "Once I can meet those goals, I will be satisfied with my progress." I gently caressed her right hand, guiding it down to her side. I began to notice ever since I met Kensuke that my aggressive tendencies were slipping away. That last action went completely against my desired response to threaten to sever her spinal cord in three places before she hit the ground. I had a sneaking suspicion my newly recombined genetics were catching up with me. "And no one ever said I had to achieve them here." I set my hand on the woman's shoulder, and held my other up to my face, the thumb and index finger almost touching. "But Misato, I'm _this_ close! Don't take this away from me now!"

"...Okay," she whispered. "But I'm spotting you tonight, to make sure you don't hurt yourself." Then it became obvious why she was in different attire. Setting her jacket aside, she picked up the weights just to the right of mine. She would choose to go one step up, but I understood it wasn't to upstage me. She just wanted to see how strenuous my regimen was. "What's first?"

"You caught me in the middle of deltoids," I explained. "I started about two hours ago."

"TWO HOURS?" she shrieked. "You work out for three hoursall in one shot?"

"Of course," I answered. "Keep the heart elevated at a cardio pace for an extended period of time, all to force the respiratory and circulatory systems to improve faster." I hefted up the weights, let them dangle at my sides, and slowly outstretched my arms, raising them to shoulder height. "Three sets of ten of these, then another three sets of the two other deltoid groups, shoulder shrugs, back extensions, curls, sit-ups, lunges-"

Misato let out a breath after her first rep. "This is going to kill me!"

"Didn't they expect you to be in peak physical condition when you first became an officer with the JSSDF? My buddy back in my time keeps bragging about his eleven mile runs, and tries to get me to join the campus P.T. class for ROTC."

"That was a _long_ time ago," she whined. "You can't expect me to keep up with this!" She glanced down at the floor for a moment, and then noticed my secret. "You're pushing yourself, _and_ you're using ankle weights?" Her voice was cracking. I thought she knew everything about my regimen when she asked the nurses, but apparently they left out a few details.

"Come on, Misato!" I cheered on. "Now is the Springtime of Youth!"

"Right..." she wheezed.

•••••••••••••

Wednesday afternoon on the third week, I was finally discharged from the hospital. I was still supposed to take it easy, and against my desire to succeed, I had to follow it. The training had helped build up my fast twitch muscle fibers, but I had suffered so many fractures, I couldn't jog as I had intended to. I was lucky to clock a nine minute mile with the pain in my legs. As such, Misato offered to drive me home.

"This isn't safe," I muttered, struggling to climb into the car. "NERV-"

"They already know," Katsuragi sighed. "How long did you really intend to hide out like this?"

"As long as it took, until I could get to Unit-04 undetected." The major set her forehead against the steering wheel of the car, and just stared at her feet, eyes glazed over. There were very few times that Misato had a long, serious think about the repercussions of the Children under her command. When she did think like this it was usually followed by, and yes, there it came: the cigarette. She numbly stuffed the toxic stick into her mouth, and breathed in deeply. "So, I guess it's straight back to the brig?"

"Commander Ikari wants you brought up on charges for treason," she whimpered. "If it weren't for some miracle, you would have been discretely disposed of by Section Two in the hospital." Misato let out a sarcastic laugh, and wiped the small tears from her eyes. "Thank the Committee that you will only be disciplined with a minor punishment."

My left arm throbbed as I gently pulled the passenger side door closed. "When did I ever win the Committee over?"

"They seem to have a funny idea of loyalty," the major went on. "Until you can attend a meeting with them tomorrow, you are to stay under my care." A car or two behind us began to honk their horns, as we still occupied the roundabout for patient pick-up. "Alright, I'm GOING!" Misato stepped hard on the gas, the Renault accelerating hard to the right as we nearly collided with some plastic economy car. So much for Misato's definition of merging with oncoming traffic.

"Okay, that's it!" I grumbled. "You're either too emotional, too wasted, or too sex-deprived to be behind the wheel. I'm driving!" It took a few minutes of fighting with her to get her out, and let me slide over. Of course, she had the easy task, walking around the perimeter of the vehicle. With my newly-healed bones, climbing over the center console and into the driver seat was a difficult piece of work.

"Be careful!" Misato wailed. "I still have payments on this thing!"

"And you _still _haven't fixed the brakes!" I whined back. "This is a precision instrument, a thing of beauty! How can you abuse it like this?" The woman glared, her eyes bloodshot, face quivering. "Alright, that's it. This is how it's going to work. You navigate, I drive. Where is the nearest auto parts store?"

"A-about five minutes away," she stuttered.

"Good," I sighed. "You pay for parts, I install them, and you let me have a few beers as reimbursement. Fair?" Then I thought for a minute. "Wait, is Shinji home? He still needs work on his English, right?"

"...Yeah..." Misato replied. She seemed rather confused, or more likely disappointed a minor under her care would deprive her of a few beers.

"Okay, new plan. You still pay for parts, maybe a couple classic car chase movies, but Shinji, Kensuke, and Hikari work on the car. I supervise, and you reimburse my crew and I with a few beers. Deal?" She was staring at me with disbelief, when I finally chose to break the minutes of silence. "Shinji has had a rough few weeks. Let the boy have a beer. You make him fight and possibly die for your precious society of corrupt degenerates. The best you could do is let him get a little tipsy, and treat him like a MAN!"

"...Alright," Misato breathed. She seemed happier at that point, though. "Why are you going through so much effort?" I gave her a questioning look. "With Shinji, I mean. Why do you care about them so much? You're not even supposed to know them."

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," I sighed, putting the car in drive. "Even if you did, your whole view on life would probably change, probably for the worst. Fame never did go over well with the cast of the Real World." From that point on, Misato just stared, trying with her best effort to calculate what possible reality she was living in based on my words. She didn't get too far when we arrived at the auto parts store.

•••••••••••••

Kensuke's jaw hung open in disbelief, while Hikari scowled. They had to walk all the way to Misato's apartment without any form of reward or purpose explained until their arrival. Then again, I had the harder job. I had to not only talk Misato into taking the train to work, but I had to convince her to pay for about four-hundred dollars worth of car parts, and let me drive said car to haul all my greasy tools in the back seat to her apartment. Besides, Kensuke was about willing to worship false idols when I finally revealed the prize. "You got us free beer?" Aida gasped. The class representative just grumbled, shaking her fist. "But Class Rep, _free beer_!"

"You don't have to drink if you don't want to," I sighed. "No, I'm not trying to corrupt the youth, as you might say, Hikari. One beer won't kill you. But you have to earn it!" They both stared at me. "You did bring some older clothes, right?"

"Yeah," Hikari said. Though clearly she did not understand. She wouldn't have dressed in the knee length skirt and low-heeled shoes otherwise.

"Ugh... Hikari," I began. "Just... ugh... I _hate_ talking to girls." I guided them into the apartment, and after offering them a non-alcoholic drink, strolled to Shinji's room. "Hi Shinji," I started in Japanese. There was no answer, but I knew he was in there. "I can hear you breathing. I bet if I concentrate hard enough, I can hear your pulse." Finally there was a response. The door slid open cautiously, the boy poking his head around the corner.

"_WHAT?"_ he snapped.

"Do you have a pair of old jeans and a t-shirt you don't mind getting dirty?" Ikari stared in confusion. "Hikari needs to borrow something more appropriate for a little work. You're invited, too, if you wish. You might enjoy it." The boy shook his head. "I got Misato to rent us some movies, and let us indulge in some of her beer. Besides, I'm going to teach you something fun."

"What could you possibly show me?"

"Well, if I get them drunk enough, maybe a topless Hikari, but-"

"SUSAN!" the class representative screamed. Horaki folded her arms tightly against her chest, her face beet red.

"I'm just joking!" I exclaimed. "Anyway, really, I want to show you how to work on a car. If we do a good enough job, I have Misato's word she won't drive like a maniac anymore." This seemed to be the key motivator for Shinji. I just had to take it a step or two further. "Besides, Kensuke's here, and we're going to have an improvised party."

"For what?"

"How often does someone come back from the dead?"

•••••••••••••

"Here, hold it... that's perfect!" I smiled, watching over Kensuke as we replaced the wheels. Hikari and Shinji had given up about ten minutes before, after we finished replacing the brake pads and rotors. We were almost done, but I suppose they didn't have the interest I did in this kind of stuff. But at least Kensuke was sticking with it. "Okay, before we get the car back on the ground, let's change the oil."

Unlike what I first believed, as my information was only from fanfiction, Misato's Renault Alpine A610 Turbo was indeed a gasoline car. After a little research online, I found everything I needed to know. The Garrett T3 turbocharger gave the three liter V6 engine just about two hundred and fifty horsepower. Misato had chosen one of the last of the model years, the production run ending in 1995. I had to respect her now. We had a similar taste in cars. I was just hoping I would get the chance after Third Impact to put the Grand National against her vehicle, one turbocharged sleeper versus another.

"Where did you learn this?" Hikari asked. The class representative tried to wipe the grime and grease off her face. Then again, her hands were also greasy, which didn't help. Shinji sat beside her, trying not to blush. While the white undershirt and jeans he lent her didn't reveal anything, I suppose there is something alluring about a girl borrowing your clothes, but I didn't get it.

"I worked at an internship with an auto shop during high school, and the rest was self-taught," I explained. "It's the same with guns. I learned the basics from a few other people, but most was just study." I grinned. "The internet is a wonderful thing. Okay, now for a guessing game. How fast do you think this car can accelerate to one-hundred kilometers per hour?" All of them just looked at me. "Anyone? Bueller?"

"Five-point-seven seconds," the redhead answered as she strolled into the parking garage. "Hikari, what are you doing wearing that pervert's clothes?"

I grinned. "Glad to see you didn't sleep the day away, Asuka."

End of Chapter XXVII

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Comments/questions/suggestions for what to put here, write a review.

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	28. Chapter XXVIII: A Long Day

I do not own the rights to Neon Genesis Evangelion, or any of the characters, equipment, or locations written in this fanfiction. The purpose of this fanfiction is merely for the non-profit enjoyment of other readers. If requested by Gainax, Hideki Anno, or other parties which represent aforementioned objects in this story, I will remove it promptly.

**Chapter XXVIII:**

"Alright, Popeye's here!" Gene Hackman's voice boomed over 20 inch screen, the technicolor flicker filling the dark living room of Misato's apartment. Hikari and Asuka simply glared at the screen, then back to me. They didn't seem to be enjoying the movie. Neither did Shinji, but that didn't matter.

Kensuke and I were getting a kick out of it. "You've _gotta_ love the French Connection," I said over the sound effects and shouts as Hackman threw a perp against the counter of the sleazy bar. "It's a classic!" Aida simply smiled, but stared more at me than the screen. The only reason I noticed his actions was the fact he seemed to be making them quite obvious.

Asuka jabbed me in the shoulder, and as soon as she had my attention, nodded towards the kitchen. I needed to invent an excuse. "Shinji, I'm going to wash a couple dishes," I said. "Don't pause the movie for me. I've seen it before. Enjoy yourselves, that's an order!"

Asuka followed behind until we got to the kitchen, and then broke towards the refrigerator. "Well?" she snapped angrily. But I wasn't paying attention, as my hands were already in soapy water. What can I say? I like cleaning stuff, and I wasn't going to completely lie to Shinji.

"Well, what?" I asked.

"You know what I mean!" Asuka grumbled. "Don't play stupid!"

"What the hell are you talking about?" I whined.

"Aida, that pervert, and _you_, _together_?" Soryu shook her head. "Did you suddenly go gay on me while I was gone?"

"Well, you know, I was _really_ planning to hold out, hoping you'd make some drastic recovery," I teased, "but I couldn't wait forever!" As Asuka's face twitched slightly, I just laughed. "Come on, Asuka! You know I'm not that easily swayed by this situation. Kensuke's just a pal, that's all."

"He's making _moves_ on you, and you're just going to say you two are PALS? Are you that blind? I hate to rain on your parade, but he's got more than pals in mind!" Asuka was getting far too loud for us to be washing a few dishes, but when I asked her to keep it down, she just scowled.

"Well, I could go in there and tell him straight out that I'm a man trapped in a woman's body. Will that be acceptable?"

"NO!"

"Well, okay then," I answered, my face pulled into that helpless, doe-eyed look. "Is this one of those times I'm supposed to come up with some kind of clever lie?"

"Of course, baka!" the redhead screamed at the top of her lungs.

"I can't lie to him, Asuka," I sighed. "He deserves better than that." Though I knew it wasn't going to be easy, telling him the whole truth about the situation was only fair. He had helped me on so many occasions, and I paid him back only by putting him at risk. "Hey Asuka, hypothetical situation" I stated, putting the clean dishes away.

Asuka grumbled, and hesitantly helped me stack the dishes in the cabinet above the countertop. "Okay, shoot," she sighed.

"Say you were dying. It's a terminal disease, not necessarily painful, but you know you only have a month or less to live." I had to pull away from the counter, and wipe my eyes with some tissue. I tried my best to hide it, but Soryu caught me. "It would figure," I laughed sarcastically. "All the beatings, getting shot at, being run over by a car no less, and none of them kill me." Asuka tensed up. "Now I'm going to die from some stupid neurological damage from the Angels, saving you, just so you can die in a few more weeks."

"What are you talking about?" the redhead asked. I refused to answer, just making my way to the fridge. I pulled out the paper milk carton, upended the entire thing into the tallest glass I could find, and guzzled the fluid. I needed calcium for my healing bones, after all. If I was going to die of a brain disorder, I wanted my body to be in good shape. "Hey, I asked you a question!"

Then Asuka did something entirely uncharacteristic. She pulled out the chair to my right, and joined me, staring into the wood grain surface of the table. "Hey," she whispered, setting her hand on my shoulder. "What is this about? I want answers." I guess there was a limit to how soft and touchy-feely Asuka could be, but it seemed to be working.

"I made a pact," I explained, "and I broke it." Soryu raised an eyebrow. "They're in my head, Asuka. I can't get rid of them, and if I don't follow through with my pact... well, you already know the price I have to pay."

The Second Child and I had developed an understanding. She knew my limits, and I knew hers. Somehow, by that flat, lifeless expression she gave me, I knew she knew I wasn't joking. My limits had been exceeded long ago. "_What_ kind of pact?" she churned out through clenched teeth.

"Helping the Angels..." I breathed.

Asuka glared, not believing. She didn't think I could go so far as to destroy all of humanity. However, some part of her felt I could do it. "You're serious, aren't you?" she stuttered. "You would go that far... sacrifice _all_ of us?" I felt her right fist clench down on my shoulder. "For WHAT?"

"Would you believe immortality?" I asked. Asuka shook her head. She knew I was smarter than that. I wouldn't be so stupid as to go for something that big. With the greater reward comes greater risk. Her hand clenched tighter on my shoulder, a slight popping sound coming from my cartilage. I had just healed, and I didn't want to risk going back to the hospital. "Okay... okay!" I gasped. "Stop it! It _hurts_!"

"_WHAT_ did you try to sell us out for?"

"A one way ticket back to my dimension, where this is merely some lame anime written by a depressed director of a successful production company, or enslaving all of mankind in a nightmarish Hell, fighting for eternity to see who would return to life, whichever came first." Asuka stared at me, then released my shoulder. "Which would you choose?"

"Hey, what's going on in here?" Hikari asked, forcing me to shut my mouth. "If you don't want us to watch the movie, Susan, we have school in the morning." I looked to Asuka, nodding towards Hikari. Asuka nodded in confirmation. During the testing and time we spent together, we had come to grasp each other's cues and gestures well enough, we could have been considered sisters. "Asuka?"

"Hikari," the redhead started. "There's something Susan needs to tell us."

•••••••••••••

Misato had excused herself from our impromptu party for a late night shift at headquarters. She returned sometime around two in the morning, finding us all sitting around the table, lights still on. "Hey, you have class tomorrow!" the major shouted. "Come on, time to call it a night."

All of us looked over at Misato simultaneously, the others wearing solemn expressions. Hikari had gone so far as to cry during our meeting, and the red, puffy eyelids were magnified from the shadows cast down by the intense lamps above. Kensuke just looked helpless, like he was going to walk out the door and throw himself off the building. Asuka just glared, determined, while Shinji's eyes were pleading, hoping Misato could fix it somehow, making everything better.

Then she saw me, my fists clenched on top of the table, head bent down as I looked up at her. I gave the appearance of Snoopy doing his impression of a vulture from the roof of his doghouse. "Oh...kay," she began. "Whatever it is, Susan, I know you started it. What is going on?"

"You want to know, don't you?" I asked. "You want to know how I know what's going to happen, right?" Katsuragi stared, then nodded, taking a seat. "Just remember, I warned you, you won't like what you hear."

•••••••••••••

Kensuke stumbled around sometime at four in the morning through the kitchen, and broke the rules. The kitchen, Misato delcared, was no-man's land, the dividing line for the genders as the girls slept in Asuka's room, Misato in her room, and Aida with Shinji in the living room. I still couldn't sleep when I heard the feet approach Asuka's door.

"Kensuke, go to sleep," I grumbled. The feet shifted on the carpet. "Yes, I know it's you. Your footfalls are unique." It took the nerd a few moments, but he clumsily marched back to the living room. Hikari stirred in her sleep, her eyes blinking until she came back to consciousness.

"Who's there?" the class representative asked. "Wait, is that..?" I tried my best to shush the girl, but she seemed more than eager to rat out the boy for breaking through our improvised demilitarized zone. "Kensuke?"

"He's gone," I said. "Besides, he won't do anything, not while I'm here." I sat up on the floor, rubbing my forehead with my fingertips. I must have picked up some kind of cold, as I felt the sore throat and headache set in. "I still can't believe I'm stuck here," I grumbled. "I'm not a chick!"

"You are really going to do it?" the brunette asked. I glanced back at her, the dark obscuring my vision. But I was able to see enough. Her eyes were pleading, now resembling Shinji at the dinner table not two hours before. "You don't intend to save us, do you? You're going to cause this 'Third Impact', just for your own personal pleasure?"

"They're going to kill us anyhow," I answered. "They want to screw with mankind's evolution? Let 'em try, but if I'm going to die, I'm going to die _my_ way!" Hikari trembled. She agreed after hours of debate that violence was the only tool we had left, and like Carl von Clausewitz stated, force must be used to it's maximum to avoid a long, drawn out conflict. However, the thought of taking the life of another did not sit with her well. "Hikari, you ever watch Mobile Suit Gundam?"

Hikari nodded slightly. "I've seen bits and pieces of the different series, not that I enjoyed them."

"I'll never understand your culture," I groaned. "Mobile Suit Gundam sums it up perfectly. You people think that a warrior spirit is somehow, if not stronger than a superior weapon, then more honorable. You desire victory, but when you lose, you claim that peace was your objective all along, or you try to rewrite history into a pity party to make you seem like the victors through losing. This isn't like Apollo 13, where it's a successful failure, Class Rep. This is _war_, a war to determine the course of mankind! History is written by the victor."

"But that's so mean!" she exclaimed in a whisper. "How can you accept that?"

"You ever give the food chain a thought?" I tried to explain with another analogy. "The only way for all the creatures on Earth to use a limited number of resources is for each preceding creature to hand over their resources after a short period of time to be used temporarily by another. It's like musical chairs. _That_ is the food chain, and since no creature wants to hinder their chances at preserving their genetics throughout history, they want to hang on to those resources for as long a time as possible. _That_ is why war is necessary! War, combat, killing for survival, is the only way resources can be taken. For the food chain, those resources come in the consumption of your prey, gaining calories and nutrients by eating them. For fighting amongst different packs of the same species, the resources are territory, and females for breeding.

Horaki scowled. "You mean we're just _trophies_?"

"You are the means by which our species survives, and if you are the most fertile, most healthy of the females, the males will seek you out for bearing offspring with the highest hybrid vigor, and the highest chance to survive against disease. Concepts such as marriage, law, equal opportunity, they're all excess baggage to weigh down the winners, while losers have a handicap to help them limp ahead." I clenched my fists and cursed. "That kind of thinking will only cripple our species."

"You really are a barbarian," the brunette sighed.

"No, I'm merely one of the bourgeoisie . Though I disagree with the system, I will still follow it until legal means are used to overturn it." I looked over to Hikari, the long time spent in darkness making it just a little easier to detect her. "Then again, they aren't following the system, are they?"

Hikari crawled back under the spare blanket, shivering even though it was warm in Asuka's room. I looked out the window, the hills outlined in a light grayish-blue. That late at night, and I still couldn't sleep. I reminded myself if I somehow ended up failing entirely, stuck back in this world for eternity, I would consider sleeping pills.

•••••••••••••

The others had gone to class hours before I finally woke up, finding the late morning sun pouring into Asuka's room. I knew I slept in too late, as my stomach churned, my body felt stiff, and I felt even more exhausted than I was at four in the morning. For some reason I always feel worse when I sleep in. Maybe it's that way for everybody, and that's why no one wants to get up after sleeping the whole day away.

The major hammered on Asuka's door. "Susan! Come on! It's almost noon!"

"Hicks, you look just like I feel," I muttered to myself, crawling over the floor until I gained the resolution to stand on my two feet. I made it to the doorway, but forgot how to operate the handle, and smacked headfirst into the sliding frame. "Ugh..."

Katsuragi shouted again. "The Committee wants to see you in an hour!" Another few attempts at the door, and it finally slid open. I forced myself down the hallway towards the shower, my best dress shirt, tie, slacks, and undergarments all bundled together, stuffed under my arm. "You _do_ realize your life is at stake, right?"

"Cake or death?" I asked to myself, closing the door to the bathroom, and walking into the shower. Only when the shower curtain was closed did I start to undress. I tried to explain this habit to Misato once, but she never did understand how someone could be that paranoid of being seen, even in their own home. "Death- I mean cake!" I mumbled. "Ah ah ah! You chose death!"

Misato pounded on the door approximately thirty-two minutes later, just as I finished straightening my tie. I opened the door, walked out, still feeling miserable, but also cold. No matter how hot I could get the water in the shower, it didn't seem to be enough as soon as I shut it off. I always ended up standing there, freezing. "Please tell me it's a warm day."

"It's supposed to get up to 28 degrees Centigrade," Misato answered. "You're going to die of heat stroke if you're that buttoned down!" She tried to fuss with my dress shirt, as I had the top button to the collar fastened, nearly strangling me. I tried to push her hands away, but my arms still felt sore. In the end, I just stood there, letting her fuss over me. "Have to look good for the Committee."

"Yeah, wouldn't want to die looking like a bum!" I replied. "No one would ever forgive me for taking a bullet to the chest or dangling from a noose if I didn't make a good impression." Misato glared, but just ignored me and went about reheating take-out from two nights ago. It was the last day she could safely microwave it back to edible status, and we needed a quick meal before my interrogation.

I took my seat, and joined her for "breakfast", when the microwave oven beeped it's harsh tone. The paper packaging came back out, but she took the extra care to pour the contents into two plates. Setting a pair of chopsticks by her plate, she made an exception for me, a standard knife and fork placed on the right side of my plate. Just ahead of that was a twelve ounce can of Yesibu. "This is the last of it," she explained. "You're right, I drink too much."

"Thanks, Misato," I smiled.

"You're welcome," she smiled back. We both raised our cans, clinking the aluminum rims in an afternoon toast. "To the future... whatever may come?"

"Yeah..."

End of Chapter XXVIII

•••••••••••••

Okay, yes, there is an actual comment after this chapter. After some careful thought, I've narrowed down the choices for the next fanfic. I'll get back to working on "Remission", but it's just starting to feel like a bad Gundam sequel. We'll see how it turns out, though. But for the next project, I'm considering one of the following:

•An InuYasha romance fanfic (InuYasha/Sango pairing-face it, Kagome/Kikyo are just too annoying!)

•An Evangelion/Pitch Black/Chronicles of Riddick crossfic (Toji's sister stared at Shinji. "What do I have to do to get eyes like that?")

•Another Naruto fanfic (perhaps a romance one-and no, not the obvious pairings)

•An Evangelion/Night Head Genesis crossfic (Shinji and the other Children with unstable psychic powers)

•A Gundam SEED Destiny fanfic (the way the series should have gone)

•An Evangelion Shinji/Maya pairing (yes, it will be done with some class, and no, Benson and Stabler will not be involved).

Since I am undecided on the subject, I would like each person who reads this story to leave their vote for the better option for my next fanfic as a review for this chapter.

•••••••••••••


	29. Chapter XXIX: Reflections

I do not own the rights to Neon Genesis Evangelion, or any of the characters, equipment, or locations written in this fanfiction. The purpose of this fanfiction is merely for the non-profit enjoyment of other readers. If requested by Gainax, Hideki Anno, or other parties which represent aforementioned objects in this story, I will remove it promptly.

**Chapter XXIX:**

Everyone glared at me as Misato personally escorted me to the conference room. The three armed soldiers following behind, M4 carbines slung on quick-release tactical slings did not help my reputation much. But I deserved it, I realize that now. I had done far more damage than good. But do I regret it? Do I feel remorse? I'd like to think somewhere in the back of my mind I feel guilt for my actions, but I doubt it. The dreams come now only as simple reminders, not nightmares.

But the dreams of Misato, those I can honestly say stir up feelings of remorse.

I was expecting to be guarded all throughout the hearing, but that was not the case. "This is as far as I can go," Misato said. "They will call for me later." I nodded, and standing in front of the door, waited for the solid hinged handcuffs to be removed. However, they were never released, even as I was shoved forcefully into the dark room by the butt of one of the soldier's rifles. I fell helplessly to the floor, smacking the right side of my face against the cement. It was at that moment, when the actual men behind Seele manifested in various hues, not the monoliths, watching me with interest as I lay there on the floor, that I realized I was no longer in control.

"Susan... no, Chris," Keel started off in a hoarse, saliva-choked voice. "Yes, we know much about you, and about what you are planning." The visored man nodded, and the exhaust manifold of my Grand National struck the floor a few feet in front of me. Now I knew I was in trouble. If they knew where I had the car hidden, they would have all of my weapon caches mapped out as well. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I thought I could buy more supplies. I had the money if I sold the hideout in California, but if they found the car, they could have easily located that, as well as a number of other things. All it took was one "good, upstanding citizen" to start talking.

"As you see, we have confiscated your little stockpile," an American businessman started saying, glowing in blue light. "We have also located Dr. Akagi. Seriously, did you think you could outwit us, the most powerful men in the world?"

I thought back to the exhaust manifold, and then strained my ears. If it were tossed, it meant there was a real person in the room, not just these holograms. That person could be armed, and even if I could charge him, my handcuffs were still on. I couldn't fight back. But no, now I had to show confidence. If I could manage that, I could do something, perhaps catch the men off guard, and work my way through their weaknesses. But all of the men, at the same time? I didn't even know how to order a Big Mac and small Coke without offending somebody or being oblivious to the actual person behind the counter. Psychology, no, even simple human interaction was not my strong suit.

I thought I had almost heard the man's hushed breathing when a brilliant white light flicked to life. It was a single, brilliant spotlight, which illuminated the figure of a brunette woman, stripped naked, marks from a serious beating still left on her body. She sat in a simple wooden chair, not bound by any physical means. No, she was too exhausted to even bother restraining. My eyes adjusted slowly, but I had a feeling as to who it was.

Ritsuko didn't say anything. She just stared at me, her eyes dull, half closed from the swelling. "You know of our plans, as she does," another of the Committee spoke up. "We will dispose of her shortly. She is of no use to us. However, you... we have quite a few uses for you."

I struggled to rise to my feet, and it was at that time Misato was summoned. But she did not enter the dignified way an officer of her rank should enter, a person in control of the situation. No, she arrived the same as Ritsuko, bare and bloodied. It seems the three guards had loyalties beyond just the NERV command staff, but to their true masters.

To my amazement, she didn't really seem to pause out of embarrassment or fear. Nor did she seem entirely afraid. Rather, she just seemed sad and angry at the same time. Ritsuko, on the other hand, she was just sad. The difference in the two friends from college all those years ago was the timing. Misato had just gotten hear, and must have figured there was some hope, some chance, no matter how slim, that she could get out of here with her life, spare what dignity she had left to shrug off. But Ritsuko had been in this situation longer. You could tell, not just from the progress of the bruises and cuts, but also the way she behaved in the chair. She just sat there, waiting.

"Major Katsuragi, good, you are just in time," another of the nameless men spoke up. "Pilot, you present us with a problem. While you are no match for the mass production Evas which you know are already on their way, you could prolong our victory with some unnecessary heroics. As little good as it would do, we do not need yet another member of NERV trying to prevent our scenario. It may cost us only a few minutes, but our time is precious to us."

"Yeah, because you know how fast Bill Cosby will start making Jello gags when everyone starts melting into goo," I grumbled. It's only when I'm truly angry that I come up with my more unique insults or sarcastic lines. I had thought I had planned out enough, but I was wrong. Now these two people, the ones who could turn things around were going to die. They would not take their time on Misato if she would simply return to duty. Or at least I thought they wouldn't.

"Entertaining to the last," the American smiled. "Well, I hate to say it, but I've seen Die Hard as well, and Hans' line is appropriate. There won't be any riding off into the sunset for you, or your friends. And this time, you don't have a machine gun." I couldn't help but laugh at that. Misato glared at me, thinking it was totally inappropriate. "But seriously, we must return to business."

The man in the shadows, the one the Committe had placed in the room all along, finally came out into the light. He was short compared to the rest of us, probably about five feet and a few inches, but he had muscle, as well as a nasty beer gut. He didn't bother wearing the blazer which matched his gray slacks, black belt, and white collared shirt minus the tie. Otherwise, we would have seen all the bloodstains from his prior work on Ritsuko. He stood by the doctor, a certain pistol I seemed to remember purchasing and leaving in the auto shop in his hand.

"This is the perfect plan," he said calmly, no smile on his face whatsoever. The man wore gloves, and probably hadn't left any fingerprints on the weapon at all, so only I would be convicted of Ritsuko's murder. "But of course, you consider yourself the genius, so why don't you tell us what we have planned?"

"I can do better," I answered, my voice starting to choke up. "You will kill Ritsuko with my gun, then turn it on Misato, and probably give me some choice, like I live and she dies, or she lives and I die. Even if she manages to live, you'll probably discredit her, maybe even hire some local yokel in town to take a few pot shots at her like what happened to Lee Harvey Oswald. Clean everything up finally with a few 'random' killings by some criminals around town, and there won't be anyone to even so much as whisper the word conspiracy."

"But what about Commander Ikari?" Keel urged. "He would certainly suspect something."

"You probably have an angle for that, too, something along the lines of revealing what he did to Dr. Akagi over there, and getting him discredited as being some sociopath recluse. He'll be swiftly replaced by the spineless Commander Fuyutsuki, who didn't even have the balls to bring about the truth of Second Impact in the first place." I looked over at Misato, making sure she got it all. I didn't want her to miss anything before she died, because God knows if it comes down to even the cleanest preacher, I'd choose me over the other person any day of the week, hands down. "Did I leave anything out?"

"Politics has always been the weapon of coups, not force as you would expect," some German eloquently put as Misato squealed. So, there were two men, not just one, the latter restraining the major with something, I couldn't tell what. "The age of Brutus coming from behind with a dagger isn't necessary when people are so flawed."

"And they are the kind you want to let into Instrumentality?" I asked, a little shocked. "Come on! I said it before, do I have to say it again? A chain is only as strong as it's weakest link, and adding more weak links doesn't make the chain any stronger." But then I remembered, you could at least loop the chain or rope over it's mounting point several times to distribute the load. It was mechanical advantage bending the rules again.

"Since you know the rules, there won't be any need to explain them," Keel began, just as the first hitman put a bullet through Ritsuko's scalp. Her whole head jumped, then slumped against the back of the chair, blood leaking out of her eyes. They were the closest thing to tears I ever saw from her that entire time. Misato screamed, and tried to struggle. I couldn't see in the dark, not with all the surrounding light, but I could hear that she wasn't winning. The second hitman was stronger. "But I do believe we need to explain what you will do for us."

"I'm guessing it's something more than just jumping out of some cake for Gendo so he can at least molest someone of legal age rather than all the clones in the dunk tank below, right?" Yeah, I was definitely pissed. I was in rare form today. "No, you probably want the passcode to Unit-04, followed by my knowledge as to what went wrong with your original siege on the city, am I right?"

Keel nodded. "You would not have taken so many steps if you didn't think there was a chance at victory. Clearly you know there are problems with our attack you intended to exploit." I could hear Misato struggling, not from any gasping or cursing, but the friction of her against the second hitman's clothes. He was obviously using a lot of force to hold her back. "Therefore, once you make your choice, these men will extract the information out of you by any means necessary." My stomach felt a little queasy, as I could imagine what "any means necessary" implied.

"You're going to make the Fourth pilot against the others, arean't you? That's at least what I would do if I were in your place, even if you need the passcode to completely disable Unit-04."

Again, Keel nodded, and at this, Misato started to scream. No use, though, as the room was sound proof. It probably even had it's own ventilation system, so any number of biological or chemical weapons could be used to subdue any uncooperative parties. It was then, when I seriously started to think about the fact I could not win, that the headache started to throb again. The picture started to fade into a deeper shade of black, and I slumped forward.

•••••••••••••

The GTO was decelerating now, crossing the railroad tracks on Power Inn Road, making the left towards the city. The old spy gear shop was still there, along with the various golf courses, tractor repair shops, and yuppie shopping centers. This time the brunette in the blue dress was in the driver's seat, while I looked out the passenger side at the passing buildings. "We don't have a choice now," she grumbled at me. "No matter what you say, we are taking over."

"After you kill the two men, then what?" I asked. "You still going ahead to merge with Lillith?" The woman nodded. Of course she would focus on that one objective. "So, I won't have any control over future events?"

She slammed on the brakes hard, pulling off to a nearby Shell station. "What makes you think you _deserve_ it?" the Angel screamed. Her hands were instantly at my throat. "You were always just a vessel, Lillim! _Never _forget that! If you had any control, it is because _we_ allowed it!"

"Lillith won't accept you, and even if she does," I began, "you'll be an outcast amongst the Lillim in Instrumentality." Then it dawned on me. "Wait, no... you wouldn't! There's no WAY that could work!" The pieces started falling into place. Gendo was trying to use both, so why wouldn't they? But what was the good of using both Adam and Lillith? How could that change the nature of Instrumentality if Adam were resurrected, and Lillith were made the subordinate to join him?

"Why do you think we spared Unit-04?" the woman asked. "It must remain untainted, so Father may use it." Now it started to make sense. The Evas were always tools man would use for Instrumentality, but now they would be used by the Angels, in a new way.

"The best of both worlds," I whispered. "Man can join with the Evas, but the Evas can't join with Lillith. But it all works out if they join with _Adam!"_ It took another thirty seconds before I could utter such blasphemy. "Angels in control of Instrumentality, not killing man, but _enslaving_ them? For what purpose?"

"As you would say, limiting our risk," she answered. "You are the creation of Lillith alone. Merging with Adam and causing Instrumentality for us would destroy you, but not Mother, and as long as Mother lives, you have the chance to live again." She left the rest for me to figure out.

There was no point in me saying anymore aloud in our little fantasy world of Sacramento, but for those who really know me, talking aloud helps me work through my ideas than just thinking it. The price, of course, is being labeled insane, but it doesn't matter if you can out-think the stable ones. "But using Adam to restrain Lillith, and the Evas to contain all of mankind, you keep the only threat to your afterlife in check. You'll never have a human escape, not while you control the Evas."

"Funny, you do not seem to resent our plan, now that you understand it," she said again, putting the GTO in gear, merging with the west-bound traffic. "Shouldn't you start trying to fight for your freedom?"

"Perhaps you can explain to me as to how I should fight back," I explained. "It's been a long day, and I already had to think my way through getting my friends killed off, what the Eva means to you, and the fate of the world. Now you want me to not only think of how to resist when you will know what I'm planning, but _why_ you would want me to resist?"

"The first is even easier to answer than the second," she replied, now taking my form, or rather, my new form, dressed in the black plugsuit. "You already know the second, don't you?"

"It would figure," I grumbled, "that watching your victims suffer bringing you pleasure _would_ be something you'd pick up from me, wouldn't it?"

The woman nodded, and then it hit me.

End of Chapter XXIX

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Yes, finally, getting to the end. So, now I have a new poll for you to answer in the reviews. How many of you could actually come up with or stay up to speed with all the twists and turns in the reasoning of the Committee, and the Angels? Also, how many of you know what I'm planning to fight against the Angels?

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	30. Chapter XXX: Action

I do not own the rights to Neon Genesis Evangelion, or any of the characters, equipment, or locations written in this fanfiction. The purpose of this fanfiction is merely for the non-profit enjoyment of other readers. If requested by Gainax, Hideki Anno, or other parties which represent aforementioned objects in this story, I will remove it promptly.

**Chapter XXX:**

What transpired next is hard to describe. I knew in the back of my mind that there was nothing left to lose by trying something stupid or heroic, but one would expect fear to overcome me and prevent such action from being taken. I suppose the fact I had two Angels sharing the same body reassured me that I would somehow survive. Still, all of my actions were the result of fear inducing the excess flow of adrenaline.

The first hitman made his way to me as I walked towards him. I didn't yet have a plan, but I figured the further I could keep the first man away from the second, who still held Misato, I would at least increase the response time necessary for the second thug to do anything. The man drew the gun he had stolen from me, and pointed it directly between my eyes. "Where do you think you are going?"

I refused to answer, and just kept walking.

"Hey, I'm talking to you!" he shouted again, cocking the hammer. I kept stumbling towards the barrel of the gun, all the time my voice screaming in my head, "What, are you nuts?" But I was beyond nuts at this point. I had spent a few months in this hell, beaten, assaulted, tortured, invaded by creatures which would shortly take over my consciousness if I couldn't somehow block them out. But with all that rage, I had a plan, or rather, the rage was the plan. As long as I stayed angry, the Angels would have difficulty taking control.

"Hulk smash!" I growled, shoving the gun out of my way, and striking up at the man's nose with the palm of my right hand. It was a crude delivery of such a beautiful, cunning attack, but it was effective. The man's nose compressed, followed by a sickening cracking sound which made my stomach churn. The man's eyes rolled up to whites as his brain began to shut down, the two hemispheres now severed by the cranial ridge bone. I started to smell the mix of urine and feces as his bowels gave out from the lack of neuromuscular control, but his body remained upright a few seconds more, feet locked underneath him. Then, he simply collapsed into himself, falling to the ground in a neat little pile.

I flinched after the strike, looking at the man, then back at my hand. There should have been some soreness, maybe even some bruising on my palm, but there was none. It also occurred to me that the blow was delivered with far more strength than I could have normally delivered. It was at that point I realized what the Angels and I had were a symbiotic relationship. I didn't just receive some of their powers, but the longer we were joined, we were both adding up to an average that was less than the strongest of us, but more than the weakest of us. As much as I wanted to block them out, they gave me advantages that I could not survive without. Perhaps letting them take over for a little while is what I needed.

Then I heard the shots, two of them coming from behind. I knew the hitmen were using high velocity loads, and both of these men were professionals, so I would have felt some kind of pain if the second had been shooting at me. But I was not the target, and I knew what to expect when I turned to face the fresh corpse of Misato Katsuragi. However, expecting to see the body of a friend who's life you took indirectly, and seeing it, letting the idea really sink in, are two different things.

My feet again carried me in slow, deliberate steps towards the second man. I could hear the men of the Committee shout and bark orders. "You are supposed to be professionals!" one yelped, while another grumbled. "Don't kill him! We need information!" The American's comment was the most entertaining, although in the minority. "Quit screwing around and shoot him!"

Misato's eyes were blank, glazed over, with two intersecting small caliber holes burrowed into forehead. The hitman wasn't able to get a clean shot off, missing her temple entirely. Katsuragi must have struggled at the last moment, forcing him to push her back with the barrel of the gun while he squeezed off the two rounds. It was not a good way to die, and it just made me angry. The rest of what happened in that room, I don't want to talk about.

•••••••••••••

There were a lot of shocked looks when I arrived on the bridge. Perhaps it was the fact I was carrying Misato's naked corpse. I did my best to try and wrap her remains in one of the hitmen's shirts, but she was too tall to cover everything, and somehow, dressing a corpse didn't come off quite right in my opinion. I wasn't going to disturb the body needlessly, and some part of me, I am ashamed to say, wanted everyone to see her like that. That part of me wanted to scream out, "You see what we're up against? Do you get it now?"

"What is the meaning of this?" Gendo barked. It would figure, he would be the least affected by a dead woman's corpse on the bridge. It must have brought back a feeling of nostalgia. "Pilot, answer me! Why did you murder Major Katsuragi?" Of course he would figure I would do it, though I couldn't blame him. Perhaps it was the pistol I took from the armory.

I set my former superior on the floor, then stared up at the top tier of the command deck. "Doctor Akagi is also dead, tortured and shot by two men hired by Seele," I shouted loud enough to make sure everyone could hear. "Had I known you were setting me up, I would have made things a bit more interesting." Ikari started to protest, while Fuyutsuki backed away slowly. "Oh, you're claiming you didn't arrange this? Well, I guess that means you didn't, since you usually go quiet when caught red-handed, and Fuyutsuki doesn't seem to know anything about it, either."

"What do you want?"

I walked over to the three lieutenants slowly. Maya was starting to cry, while Maktoto and Aoba just sat there, trying to avoid eye contact. I chose Shigeru, as he was the least useful of the three command staff. The barrel of the pistol was square against the back of his head, even after the lieutenant tensed up. "I want Seele," I churned out through clenched teeth. "I want Unit-04, two palette rifles, a positron rifle with the adapter umbilical, and a fully fueled transport craft to take me there."

"If I refuse?"

Why do people always ask such stupid questions? I mean, I had a gun pointed at the back of Aoba's head, and the commander has to ask me what's going to happen if he doesn't comply? Is that just a required stall tactic all administrative personnel have to recite to make their investors and insurance providers happy, or did Ikari miss the first few days of Hostage Negotiation 101?

Needless to say, I pulled the trigger. I felt some pity for the man, but not much. He did nothing in the series except supply the witty comebacks, Earthly wisdom, and filler dialogue. As far as I know, he didn't even have a real job on that bridge, or at least nothing the Magi couldn't do.

Then came the expected high-pitched screaming from Maya, the vomiting, the cries of "how could you be so cruel?" in English and Japanese. Even Hyuga got into the act, starting to whimper and shout like he actually could make a significant difference in the sequence of events to come. I simply stared down at Aoba, then turned the gun to Hyuga. "There is a reason this bridge is constructed the way it is," I replied. "Lieutenant Aoba Shigeru was the most useless of the three here. The other two, you cannot afford to lose, especially Lieutenant Maya Ibuki." I stared into Gendo's eyes. "So, how long are you going to keep screwing around?"

"You try my patience, Pilot!" he snapped back in anger. So, I pulled the trigger again. Hyuga's face smacked into the terminal before him, the sound of plastic paneling cracking under the impact. My blazer was pattered with small chunks of flesh, brain matter, and human skull. Maya wasn't vomiting anymore, but now just sat frozen in her chair, too numb to cry. You only need two points to form a line, and with only one person left within my reach, it wasn't that hard to connect the dots.

"Susan... please!" she started sobbing. "Please! Please!" That's all she kept saying, was "please!" Though her strategy was working, and Gendo saw it. My feet turned to lead, my palms started to sweat, and I had the distinct impression the headache was subsiding. I was wrong. Anger was not the key to defeating the Angels. It was only strengthening their control over me.

"Ikari!" Fuyutsuki gasped from above. Gendo simply kept staring me down, as if that would somehow stop me. "He wants what we want! Just give it to him!" Ikari, however, didn't consider it.

"I refuse to negotiate with terrorists," the commander answered firmly. I nodded simply, then looked back to Maya. Ibuki was still pleading with me, now trying to offer me money, information, anything to get me to spare her life. "You would not kill Lieutenant Ibuki, anyway. You need her to operate Unit-04."

"Yeah," I grunted, and turned the gun on Ikari instead. This time, there was no delay. I jerked the trigger back three times, my accuracy slipping to a degree, but still managing to be fatal. The first went square into his chest, as that was the most carefully aimed. The two remaining shots drifted down and to the left a ways, probably grazing the kidney on their way out.

Kouzou ducked behind the top tier of the bridge, but I wasn't going to shoot him. It was a waste of perfectly good ammunition to drop someone who wouldn't put up much of a fight. Besides, I had plenty of guards to go through before I reached Unit-04. "Okay, change of plans," I said. "Load the coordinates of the Self Defense Forces' installations into the navigational computer of Unit-04."

"W-which ones?" Maya stuttered, trying to keep the bile down as Hyuga gurgled. Apparently he wasn't dead after all.

"_All_ of them!" I grumbled as I felt the A.T. Field strengthen below my feet, propelling me upward.

•••••••••••••

It amazes me sometimes how much better the world would have turned out had Britain and America finished what Germany started in 1939. If you think about all the cultural and international impacts which have resulted from the Second World War, you have to wonder why we didn't just keep going?

General Patton believed the Russians were our next, greatest threat after the Nazis had surrendered, and he was right. But rather than fighting them as he suggested, everyone else wanted peace. They sacrificed fixing a future problem when the men and the equipment were in the right place at the right time, all in exchange for a hasty and temporary peace. I often think about it like junkies. They want the quick fix to the pain of withdrawal by getting high again, even though getting off the stuff costs more initially, but more than pays for itself in the long run.

The United Nations in my time was not only trying to take away the Second Amendment rights of all Americans, but remove all sovereignty of the United States, forcing international law on us, which would be dictated by the most corrupt and murderous batch of cutthroats you could possibly imagine in the Third World. The terrorists which struck us on September 11th were the result of an already warring Middle East further aggravated by America trying to prevent the Domino Effect as the Soviets fought for control of Afghanistan. Even the nation of Japan still tried to dictate foreign policy to America and insulted us at every turn before I wound up in this warped version of a possible future for mankind.

But while I had the power, and I knew what was coming, I was not going to allow any of that to happen. The Second Impact had prevented some of the problems, by returning the Third World to it's constant state of warring savages killing each other with Kalishnikovs or sharp, pointy sticks, whichever was more widely available. The surviving First World nations struggled to out-maneuver the oppression from the United Nations, but even they had to comply to avoid outright war with the others. Sovereignty was close to being stripped away when I arrived, all thanks to Seele.

It seemed sickening to me that NERV could be used for good, but it was only an afterthought. My primary concern was stopping Seele. I knew the mass-production units were on their way. A killing blow to some hidden bunker or bunkers where the holograms of the men in suits originated, however, was far too costly. It would take too long and too many resources from the theater of war. This upcoming battle, after all, was with the Eighteenth Angel, and could be considered the end of the Angel War.

However, a quick, decisive victory to crush the JSSDF, the primary military force used during the last battle, would prove far more effective. I would be closer to Tokyo-3 if the mass-production units arrived early, and eliminate the primary invasion force, both things that I couldn't do if I cut off the head of the snake.

To my surprise, the Angels agreed. While they could obtain their victory simply by initiating the true Third Impact, the Self Defense Forces and Seele presented an unnecessary threat to their objective. I was not much of a force to counter them, but surely bypassing all of NERV's means of defense would be hard enough, especially considering how long it had been known I was possessed. We both understood Clausewitz.

They really did think too much like me.

End of Chapter XXX

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Yes, the chapters are getting shorter, but it's hard to keep writing to the length I used to. For those who've wondered, I've always shot for a file size of approximately 20 to 24 kB for each chapter, so there actually IS a numerical, consistent means I use to keep the chapters short. It's long enough to form 8 to 9 pages of text in a word processor (who really wants to read more in a fanfic chapter, _really_?), but even that gets long after a while.

Out of curiosity, what is the mode average length of your typical K-M rated Eva fanfic chapter(and I mean a GOOD one, like some of RandomL337's works)? I know with "New Perspective Evangelion", I skip a lot of the paragraphs until I get to the mech battles or some of the more entertaining dialogue.

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	31. Chapter XXXI: Romantics and Reality

I do not own the rights to Neon Genesis Evangelion, or any of the characters, equipment, or locations written in this fanfiction. The purpose of this fanfiction is merely for the non-profit enjoyment of other readers. If requested by Gainax, Hideki Anno, or other parties which represent aforementioned objects in this story, I will remove it promptly.

**Chapter XXXI:**

There is something haunting about flight without wings or other equipment. You're just floating there, with no attitude control, no nothing, hoping you don't end up smacking into a wall or taking your head off on a support beam. The flight itself lasted only twenty, maybe thirty seconds, but I was terrified that entire time. This was one of those times when I had absolutely no control, and the fact I let it happen disgusted me.

Fuyutsuki was about to protest when I hovered above the body of Gendo Ikari, but that did not last too long. Energy weapons, at least the real ones, don't emit electromagnetic frequencies on the visible spectrum. Scenes with brilliant glowing orbs that you see in Dragonball Z or Naruto are entirely false. I knew, because that's what came out of my hand. I couldn't see it, but the repulsion I felt after whatever it was discharged, and the smell of my right palm slightly baking from the intense heat convinced me it was real. I seemed the only one in my head who registered the pain, or bothered to pay attention to it. The Angels were too preoccupied as their invisible energy weapon shoved Fuyutsuki back against the concrete wall of the highest point of the bridge.

There was a series of snapping cracks, like celery stalks being broken, and the body let out a heavy wheeze. The others on the bridge were running now, trying their best to evacuate. A few like Ibuki stayed behind, but mainly to weep over Hyuga, struggling to stay alive as he slowly bled to death. My voice shouted back down to her, but not with my words. No, the Angels, as much as they tried to learn how to function as an individual Lillim, only copied my actions as a template. They couldn't even get my favorite phrases right.

"Female!" they shouted in unison, but the sound only came out as my one, single voice. "Prepare Evangelion Unit-04."

Maya just stared back up at me. "If I... refuse?"

That's when I felt my right hand move, and noticed something from the floor of the command deck slowly float up to meet me. My stomach started to churn as I recognized the decapitated head of Commander Fuyutsuki. His hair was coated in his own blood, making it difficult to maintain a grip on his strands of hair. Ibuki cringed, then pulled Hyuga closer to her, trying to keep him awake.

"...Okay," she breathed.

•••••••••••••

"Damn you!" Shinji screamed over the tac-net. They were the few words he had learned from Asuka to express in English. I suppose he meant to say something far worse, far more foul towards me. Then again, there is only so much time for one to ask Asuka Soryu for a couple quick vulgar words in English to shout at an enemy, especially if you need to scramble as soon as possible. It was only a half an hour from the moment I, or rather, the Angels through my body, began their assault. I was quite impressed with the response time of the Children. Obviously their training was far superior in real life than compared to the animated series. Then again, all they had to do was climb into the Eva, and follow routine procedures. They didn't have to outwit their former comrades, possibly kill them, and then run off undetected to fight a threat with limited intelligence on the enemy's logistics. Clearly they had the advantage.

"I knew it!" Asuka shouted, taking the effort to speak in English. "You traitor!" Both Unit-02 and Unit-01 were already sprinting for me, while Rei remained behind. At least, that's what it appeared at first, but given her talents, I found it hard to believe she wouldn't come after me at some point or another. "You worthless traitor!" the redhead kept screaming.

The entry plug hummed softly, the navigational display drafting a thin green line towards the first waypoint, the topographic features displayed as a collection of vector graphics. I toggled the switches to my right on the center console, checking my cache of weapons. As I did so, I spoke aloud to make notes into the data recorder. "Unit-04 confirming inventory: two palette rifles, each with 300 HEAT rounds, and 200 sabot rounds. One positron rifle, S2 powered, two progressive knives, and a battleaxe, which should give me just enough hardware if the mass-production units arrive ahead of schedule."

I switched on the auxiliary monitor to my left, which appeared as an overlaid display on the entry plug wall. Typing in a few commands, I needed to know the abilities of my former allies. Unfortunately Maya had already locked out my security clearance to access the Magi from the Eva, so instead of actual data taken from the armory inventories, I had to try and piece together their equipment based solely on observation.

Unit-01 carried a positron rifle, while Unit-02 had a lance in it's hands, and a palette rifle slung over it's right shoulder. The umbilical cables had been spooling out from the far edge of the city limits for thirty seconds now. While Unit-02 would have a battery reserve of five minutes, given the large protrusions strapped to it's shoulder pylons, I had the lead by a good five or six kilometers. Sooner or later, Asuka and Rei would have to go back for some kind of transport craft to catch up. At that point, it would just be up to Shinji.

"Why do you _always_ have to play the hero?" I muttered to myself, forgetting the entry plug's communication system was set on VOX. I caught it just a few seconds later, but decided to leave it on. If I was going to die, there would be a record of my final battle. Maybe sometime in the future, politicians and military analysts would listen to it with a sense of dread. It would be as haunting as the last recording of that geologist, Johnston, who died when Mt. St. Helens erupted back in 1980. My hairs always stood on end whenever I heard "Vancouver, Vancouver, this is it!" Maybe that would be the same reaction people later on would have if these recordings were ever released to the public.

I heard Asuka begin to curse, then noticed the second of the two radar blips go still for a few seconds, and then continue onward. "You had to jettison the umbilical, didn't you Asuka?" I asked teasingly. It was like that line in the movie Death Trap, at the climax with Michael Caine and Christopher Reeve trying to kill each other. "You know you won't be able to cover Shinji forever, don't you?"

Asuka had long since cut the video feed from her entry plug, but she was under orders to stay in touch with me. Being the only one fluent in English that was left to negotiate, she had to tolerate my every word. "Oh, trust me," she began. "You'll wish I was covering Shinji when he gets to you. He's not just going to stop you, you know?"

"Well, I could try to explain to you that I didn't kill Misato, and that I was also going after the people who really did it, but then there's that whole killing Rokubungi thing, isn't there?" Asuka just stared. "Oh, I'm sorry, you'd know him better as Commander Ikari. But then again, there is no justification that I can offer for what I've done, is there?"

"Ends don't justify the means, right?" the German asked.

"Precisely," I answered. "You know, it's really a shame we can't have more of these conversations without having to try and kill each other, or with one of us being hospitalized. I must say, I enjoy your company." This seemed to irritate the Second Child even more, the radar blip tagged "02" on my lower central monitor picking up speed. "Don't waste your battery charge, Asuka. If you want a shot at me, you have to conserve it as long as possible."

"DON'T YOU DARE DISCUSS TACTICS WITH ME!" The pleasant but disturbing beeping of the incoming missile alarm began to wail. Checking the radar monitor again, I noticed a small series of projectiles branch off from "02", coming towards me at supersonic velocity. They impacted the AT-Field harmlessly, the reverberations of crunching, deforming metal and exploding fuel shaking the small atmosphere trapped within Unit-04's protective barrier. The entry plug, as well as the construct, was jostled momentarily, but continued on course.

"You're too far out of range for that weapon to do any good. Conserve your ammo until you can get closer. Your best bet would be an ambush, with Shinji driving me towards your trap."

"What did I _JUST_ tell you?" Soryu grumbled.

"Alright," I sighed. "Then, you pick the subject."

"What?"

"Hey, I have a long way to walk in this thing. You're the negotiator. Who else am I supposed to talk to until you either kill me, or I escape?"

"You think this is some kind of game?"

I grumbled slightly, noticing the change in terrain. We had come to the end of the smooth valley floor of the Tokyo-3 city limits, and here, the mountains began. The maneuvers would become slower, and there would be times ahead when I knew I would have to leave some gear behind to make it through the mountain range ahead. "Hardly," I sighed. "But if I don't talk to someone other than these Angels floating around in my head, I'm going to go crazy."

It was about two minutes before Soryu spoke again. "Shinji... he really wants to kill you." The girl's voice was softer, almost sad. "You... you betrayed us, all of us."

"Yeah," I grunted, forcing the yokes forward as Unit-04 began the slow climb up the side of the first mountain range. The incline wasn't particularly steep compared to some of the more impressive formations ahead, but it still made me a bit nervous. Even with all the sensory input coming in just fine, piloting an Eva up the side of a mountain felt more like rock climbing in a jeep than in person.

The weapons I had carried so far were now a burden, and I had to go light. While the S2 powered positron cannon would have been the best bet to take with me, I couldn't afford the weight. I plugged in the umbilical adapter, and with a few keystrokes, spun the S2 drive up to 90 percent output. Locking on with the pulse-doppler radar, Unit-01 was in perfect position. "Crap," I hissed, firing a few short bursts downrange.

There was a burst of static over the tac-net, followed by a scream. Switching to infrared at maximum magnification, I could see bits of molten armor and vaporized flesh peeling away from the upper torso of Unit-01. There was no chance for Shinji to run. "Get down!" Asuka screamed, Unit-02 running up by Ikari's side, forcing him to take cover. The purple construct fell to it's knees, the synthetic blood prevented from leaking out by the cauterized wound. The creature's right arm was gone, and with it, the molten remains of the positron cannon burned in the small impact crater left behind at Unit-02's feet.

"You BITCH!" Asuka shrieked. Shinji just kept moaning and crying over the entry plug's speakers. He was slowly going into shock, but not fast enough. "You... bitch..." Soryu repeated again.

"What the hell are you waiting for?" I screamed. "Cut his goddamn neural connections!" It was a few seconds later when I brought the infrared video signal to the main entry plug display that I saw the white hot cylinder unscrew from the back of Unit-01, the L.C.L. projected out in four thin streams by the bilge pumps. "Asuka, talk to me. How is he?"

"You bitch!" she just repeated over and over. Then I heard the exchanges between her and Ikari. Clearly she forgot to switch to the push-to-talk option. Though, in her position, anyone would be preoccupied. "Oh sweet merciful Christ!" she first spoke in English, then started in Japanese. Only a few words came through, but from what I learned, I had done significant damage. The words "synch ratio", and "120 percent" were all I could make out. However, I knew what that meant. Anything beyond a 100 percent synchornization meant the pain wasn't just simulated, but was manifested in the pilot.

"You took his arm off!" Soryu screamed. "You bitch! You took Shinji's own arm off!"

It was then the radar kicked in again, the automated target acquisition feature carrying out it's task remorselessly. A small white outline of a box was centered on Unit-02, know crouched by the fallen Unit-01. She had discarded her weapons, pulling the entry plug free of the crippled beast. For a moment, just a moment, just a moment, I hesitated. Then I came back to my senses. This wasn't time for Nathaniel Hawthorne, I reminded myself. This was time for Clausewitz.

I squeezed the trigger on the right control yoke. Unit-02's chest was melted clear through, Asuka's screech cut short at "You bit-" when the squelch feature cut out the remaining static. It saddened me, thinking that the humanity, the very thing I had hoped these Children would hold on to, would be their downfall. But that was what kept them from turning into Gendo. They were mankind's salvation for that very reason.

Smashing the weapon into a tangled mess of wire and alloy tubing, I abandoned the useless positron rifle. I would not give the enemy a chance to use my own gear against me, and there was no way to take it with me during the ascent. I just wished when I encountered Rei and the mass production Evas, the remaining palette rifle with only the 150 HEAT rounds I retained would be enough. As I began the climb, I looked back at the molten wreckage. "I told you!" I shouted back. "I told you to back off!"

End of Chapter XXXI

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I'm looking for suggestions for a good tagline for this story. Up to this point, I've tried to keep things fresh every few chapters, by changing the story summary. However, as we're nearing the end, I want to find a short, catch phrase or sentence, like the kind used to promote movies, to go with this story. Unfortunately, "No Law", "No Rules," and "No Order" have already been taken by Miami Vice(2006). Any ideas?

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	32. ChapterXXXII: Survivors?

I do not own the rights to Neon Genesis Evangelion, or any of the characters, equipment, or locations written in this fanfiction. The purpose of this fanfiction is merely for the non-profit enjoyment of other readers. If requested by Gainax, Hideki Anno, or other parties which represent aforementioned objects in this story, I will remove it promptly.

**Chapter XXXII:**

It was another three hours at least before NERV's final move against me was revealed. It wasn't that hard to predict, but I didn't think they would be foolish enough not to call her back. Of course, Rei was there. They would clearly send her out to keep an eye on me while I was making my escape. She made an effort to hide, but there is only so much you can conceal from radar.

But there was something else that gave me the hint. I couldn't describe it then, but the more that I think about it, the best way to explain it would be some kind of psychic bond between Angel hybrids. It's seen in the series quite a few times that Rei does some pretty interesting things when she allows her powers to be seen. I wondered as I toggled the display controls if she would have the advantage.

"Rei, I know you're there," I called out on the tac-net. "Talk to me. How are they?" I waited five minutes until I was sure there was no response coming, then tried again. "Rei, you know what I'm going to do, right? It's foolish for you to follow me, as you are the key to Third Impact."

That last part got her attention. "Only if you reach Lillith are you a threat," her voice replied calmly. "The other pilots are... not well."

"Tell them I'm sorry."

"But you are not."

I brought the Eva to a stop and maneuvered behind a ridge. The landscape had changed from it's bright green fields to dingy, red-hued dirt which covered the rocky terrain. There was little plant life here, and what was left seemed to be on the verge of death. So much for the recovery from Second Impact. "You don't know I'm not sorry," I answered. "How can you say that?"

"You shot them."

"What would you do in my place?" I yelled back. I didn't mean to, but they were starting to piss me off, all these mindless cattle who just followed a clearly corrupt dictatorship. While it was a military organization that required a chain of command where decisions were left up to the commanding officers, who in their right mind would blindly follow orders that dictated children in a first world nation would be used as soldiers without consent? At least I had accepted the role of villain, but these people still tried to rationalize their unethical choices. "This is war, and we are enemies. You don't sit around for three episodes just shouting banter back and forth while you power up."

Rei gave a short, quiet sigh, as though she didn't grasp the reference. I suppose there is no room for anime in the life of a lab rat.

"Your attacks were unprovoked," her voice recited, a slight hiss coming over the radio with the static. "You murdered and willfully supported the Angels." Unit-00 began to advance slowly along the face of the ridge. Ayanami was trying to keep her radar signature down, but I had a few other tricks up my sleeve. I was approximately twelve kilometers from her last reported position, the black Eva standing out amongst the red tinted cliffside. I needed cover, and the ridge was too short to offer any protection. Proceeding along the ridge would only leave me exposed. I was also in a position where the only direction was down. Anyone in a defensive position knows they want the high ground.

"Cake or death," I muttered to myself as I scanned the horizon, forcing the Eva forward. I could die while standing still, or I could die while moving. At least while moving, though, I had a slightly higher chance of survival. "Ah ah ah, you said death."

"I do not understand," Rei answered.

"Just a joke," I breathed, disengaging the safety on the palette rifle. The ridge split in two as the mountains joined just about two kilometers away. I didn't care if Ayanami spotted me. She probably couldn't, if she was hugging the cliffside to avoid exposure to my radar. But even if she did, if I could just outrun her fire, get behind the Y-split of the ridge, and penetrate her AT-Field in close combat, there was a chance. Then I remembered she was supposed to have the strongest of all AT-Fields. My decision to ditch the remaining gear was beginning to annoy me. "You don't happen to have a spare positron rifle, do you?"

"I would not give it to you," she answered.

"Again, it's humor, Rei." The Eva moved slowly over the ridge. It was awkward to maneuver something so big along such uneven terrain, especially with such a high center of mass. Crouching wouldn't improve my speed, though, and I needed Unit-04's arms to carry my remaining gear. "How do you suggest I penetrate an Eva's AT-Field with minimal firepower?"

"Why would I tell you?"

"I suppose you wouldn't. In that case, I'll just have to improvise." I kept Unit-04's head down below the split of the ridge, and was about to switch off the S2 drive when the woman in the blue dress spoke to me again. "I'll explain in a minute," I mumbled, but not fast enough. My right hand started to feel stiff, my arm locked in place just above the control panel for the S2 drive. "Let me go! This is imperative, don't you understand?" Another ping from the radar gave her location. She had just entered the region without any cover, meaning I had ten kilometers or less before she was right on top of me. "If we don't shut down, we're dead! She'll sense us!"

"We only let you play this far because you were willing to take whatever measures were necessary," the woman's voice recited coolly. "But you refuse to harm this one? Even when we can cripple her so easily and spare the body for the sacrifice?" My right arm began to itch, then moved slowly back to rest at my side, the hand now on the right control yoke. Everything started to go black, and the voice reverberated with an echo. "It is time you learn what true powers we have given you, and what a duel of Angels is really about."

"Crap..." I grunted one last time, as my brain faded back to consciousness, the aura of the cockpit now eerily dark. It was then I heard that high pitched shriek, the kind heard by Ayanami when Unit-01 rejected her. I knew what was coming, but I could do nothing but hold on. "Change of plans, eh?"

•••••••••••••

I know what happened next was not my fault. I did everything in my power to avoid it, but it still happened. I had followed a sequence of events that had led to this, and there were no other options for my masters than to show me the error of my ways. More importantly, I still realize I didn't do enough. I only hope that somewhere, wherever Shinji is now, he can forgive me.

Radar was unnecessary for the Angels, as was the infrared video feed, the laser rangefinder, all of it. They had the power to sense each others' presence, after all. It was stupid for Rei to have gone that far down range with only external batteries. Had Unit-01 only accepted her, and let her fight in Shinji's stead, maybe she would have had a chance. Then again, sending Unit-01 after me was a stupid move in itself, given it's origins.

Unit-00 had to have been low on power, as Rei's movements were cautious, and very efficient. She did her best to minimize the Eva's motion, even to the extent of sacrificing her concealment. Just a kilometer away. It sounds far for humans, but for two giants such as the Eva series, it was only a distance equivalent to a city block or two. How I wish she had just retreated and waited for the others to arrive.

Unit-04 sprang from it's resting place, all active sensory systems disengaged. For a creature that was "born" blind, the Angels didn't seem to have a problem maneuvering over the terrain. It was dark in the entry plug. All I could do to tell we were still in the fight is that the impacts were of the magnitude normally experienced in running, not falling or getting shot. The acceleration was in the right direction, at least, retracing our steps straight back at Ayanami.

Finally I managed to punch in a few commands, and get an infrared video feed, just as something very big slammed into us. Or did we slam into it? The monitor went blank for a moment, then came back to full clarity as I saw... it couldn't be. Unit-00's armor plating, and the flesh below it, was melting, turning into a malleable goo. The tac-net burst to static and then to screams, Rei's screams.

Then I started to scream, but not from fear or disgust. It was from the pain. My limbs, chest, head, everything felt like it was burning. The whole cockpit began to glow a sick orange, like it had been redone in a seventies retro look. All that was missing was the shag carpet and a disco ball. It was then I thought the entry plug actually shrank. Had it not been for my sense of touch telling me otherwise, even under that excruciating pain of being consumed in flame, I would have believed the seat was folding in on itself.

The monitor became a twisted, shrinking polygon, slowly being pulled into an elongated, twisting cylinder, much like a coiling snake. I knew this had to be fake, perhaps the result of the Eva's core operating system being overloaded with sensory input or data it couldn't understand, or perhaps being incapable of translating what it did understand on a wholly theoretical level. Whatever the result, I was being fed the by-product of whatever the hell the Eva and the Angels were perceiving, the data being directed straight into my brain. It was then I had really hoped there was some kind of hallucinogenic drug kept in a syringe somewhere for emergencies. Perhaps Ritsuko should have thought of that. The case could have had a label "In case of distorted reality, break glass."

Then the hallucinations stopped. The plug went cold, then dark, just before the front was pushed in, the metal casing deforming under strain. Something was being rammed into the plug, through the Eva's neck. The metal howled and cracked, splitting into fragments, small slivers of shrapnel whizzing by my face. Whether by chance or direct Angelic influence, I was spared anything more than a few minor cuts. Ayanami, however, had a far more horrendous experience.

The First Child's head, then the rest of her plugsuited figure was pushed through the gaping hole in the main monitor, assisted by what looked to be a new throbbing, growing organ just outside of the plug. She flopped onto the forward control panel, grunting as she rolled over the sharp hand holds and toggle switches. Rolling into my lap off the controls, she stared up at me as if to ask "why."

"I didn't want this," I sighed.

"Killing is killing," the woman in the blue dress spoke again from behind my mind. "They are all the enemy. You must know that by now."

"Yeah..." I sighed. Ayanami cringed and slowly forced her eyes open. The LCL was being drained, the entry plug accelerating upward now. "No more use for me, huh?"

"You have outlived your usefulness, as you would say. Take advantage of what little time you have left to live."

The hard acceleration had caused us both to black out, leaving Rei to wake first in the plug. She seemed scared, and refused to speak, or maybe couldn't speak, at least not for a few minutes. "Why didn't they take you?" I asked when I finally came to. "Aren't you necessary for Instrumentality?"

Ayanami started to sob. There was no "Why am I crying?" I stared at her, and she felt cold. Her body had gone a shade of pale beyond her normal albino look. Even her eyes had faded from their crimson color to a light pink, as though her very life essence was drained from her. Then it made sense.

"They already did," she answered in ragged sobs.

This wasn't Rei, or at least the complete Rei that I had annoyed before. This was the stripped down, economy model, sans Lillith's soul. "Software not included," I mumbled, and leaned my head back into the seat. The L.C.L. slowly leaked out of the plug from a gaping hole in the outer shell as the sun set, leaving the face of the remaining ridge dark, cold, and empty.

•••••••••••••

It was two days until the symptoms finally started to show. Reynolds was allowed into the cell to check on me when I refused to eat, and started vomiting heavily. My white blood cell count was falling fast, as was the quantity of proteins which formed the cellular membranes throughout my tissues. All the fluids in my body started to leak from the pores of my skin, or were lost in various, disgusting methods. It was about that time the junior technicians left in charge after I had killed everyone else finally allowed the doctor to drag me to the hospital.

"It's started," Ben told me as he shoved me into a clear, cylindrical tube filled with L.C.L. I was getting the Rei treatment. Apparently Maya had taken the time off after the First Child's and my recovery to study up on all the dirty little secrets hidden in Terminal Dogma. At least she was putting them to use. "The Self Defense Forces have all been annihilated, as well as those precious mass-production Evas you were so concerned about."

I tried to nod, but I felt even the bones and ligaments which formed my skull shake like gelatin. It didn't take a scrawny Star Trek nerd to tell I was losing molecular cohesion. I had lost the ability to speak only hours before, when my vocal cords dissolved, along with my sinuses. My eyes were gone. It was hardly painful, as the doctor did his best to administer as much morphine as he could. He didn't even need a needle. He just pumped the L.C.L. chamber full of the sweet drug, as my body let the fluids pass right through. I was more liquid solution than human at this point.

"There is someone here to see you," Reynolds spoke again. The footsteps reverberated through the chamber, causing my body to slosh around. "She... or he... doesn't have much longer," he said to the visitor.

"I am... afraid," Rei said, putting her head up against the plug. The last time I saw her, her hair had started to turn a mousy brown, and her ethics gave was as the craving for meat finally surfaced. Hunger for proteins and macronutrients, even if a person doesn't understand the chemistry behind them, makes itself known in other forms. "I am... becoming you."

I tried shaking my head, but felt my ears begin to slide away. If I was going to hear her voice still, I couldn't let that happen. Reynolds seemed to understand what I was getting at, at least, and relayed the message. "No, you aren't," he breathed. "You are becoming you, a completely new person based on your prior experiences and the byproduct of that... incident." Rei didn't seem to understand, until Ben went into further detail. "Conservation of energy, if you could call it that," he began. "You received something in exchange for the soul you once carried."

"What?"

Someone tapped against the case, causing my fingers to slowly dissolve. It was probably Reynolds, as he spoke next. "That must have been Yui's plan from the beginning. She created something to give her only true daughter the necessity for life: a living soul. The Angels and his actions were never known, but by happenstance led to the desired conclusion."

Rei started to cry again. She was getting good at it, I had to admit. "Ikari and Soryu will need to be looked after for a few more weeks, but at this rate, I don't think we have that much longer. That _other_ byproduct is making its way back to finish the job."

"A world ruled by Evas... through Angel dominion," Ibuki said, sighing heavily. "And we'll end up turning into him eventually, right? Just more liquid humans?"

"If that is what Instrumentality is like, then yes," Ben answered. "But there is always hope."

"How?" Ayanami asked.

"The Eighteenth Angel, as he used to tell me, was the merging of all human souls into one being. But from that original being, we resulted as individuals. Remember the Second Law of Thermodynamics. It probably takes more energy to put us back in our original form that it does to make us decay, and for that to occur, something else needs to be given up. We just don't know what yet." The doctor sighed, and tapped the chamber again. "He's losing it. It won't be long now."

"But how do we return to this form again?" Maya asked.

"Just try to be yourself. Block out anything that isn't you." I could have sworn for a moment that I could see again, or perhaps it was just my mind's last attempt at maintaining neurological functions. I pictured Reynolds set his wrinkled, aged right hand on Ayanami's head, and smiling. "You have individuality now, Rei. Don't let it go."

"But do I want it?" she asked.

"You can't not want what you are. That's the true definition of ego."

The End

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Comments/suggestions, please leave a review.

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